Jax Is Really Alive
by MVeneer
Summary: JAX IS ALIVE AND SO IS TARA. She saves his life and reveals shocking secrets. Everything he thought he knew about his family and friends turns out to be wrong. People who were supposed to be dead turn up alive. This is a new, more sinister reality. Nothing is what it seems. Jax faces competition for Tara's heart and more danger than he could have ever imagined. Set after Season 7.
1. Chapter 1

4

 **JAX IS REALLY ALIVE**

 **CHAPTER 1 Back From the Dead**

Jax was prepared to face whatever happened after death with a clear conscience. Sure, he had killed a lot of people that day, but all of them deserved it. The world was a better place thanks to him. He wasn't sure how that would play on the other side—the place you go to after death.

As the truck approached, Jax took his hands from the motorcycle's handlebars, lifted his hands, threw back his head and shut his eyes. He was embracing death.

Tara had other ideas. It was her job to protect him. She shut her eyes and raised her hands. Time stopped.

She walked over to Jax, still on his motorcycle, eyes closed, hands raised and touched him. He opened his eyes.

"Come with me, Jax," Tara said.

Jax looked at her blankly.

"Who are you and why is everything stopped?"

"You know me. I'm Tara."

He shook his head.

"I don't know you."

"I can only stop time for so long. You need to come with me."

"I need to die. It's my destiny."

"Your destiny is with me. We need to get away now."

He shook his head.

"I promised the MC that I was going to die. There's a Mayhem vote on me. That's when your motorcycle club votes to kill you."

"I know all about the SOA stuff. You can come with me nicely or I can make it less pleasant."

Despite himself, Jax was getting kind of aroused. He liked the idea of a woman manhandling him and death could wait a couple of minutes.

"Can we have sex?"

"I can't believe you. Some things never change. Come with me _now_ ," Tara said.

Jax didn't know who this woman was but she seemed like she might be fun and she would probably have sex with him. He couldn't remember the last time a woman had turned him down for sex. He frowned. He didn't think it had ever happened.

It wouldn't hurt anything if he didn't kill himself right away. And there was something about this woman that he liked.

"What the hell? OK, I'll go with you."

"Good get off the motorcycle and come with me."

Jax drove his bike to the side of the road, got off it and turned it off. Tara led him to a white SUV and got behind the wheel. He climbed into the passenger's seat.

"Do you still not know who I am?" Tara asked him.

He shook his head.

"No."

"OK. When I restart time, it's going to be this intense rush. Shut your eyes and it won't be so bad."

Jax obediently shut his eyes.

Tara started the car and lifted her hands and put them together. Time restarted, pushing events forward in a dizzying blur.

"It's OK, now," Tara said.

Jax looked around. The freeway was familiar but it didn't make sense. They had traveled sixty or so miles in the opposite direction.

"That's impossible. We've traveled sixty miles. It's only been a few seconds."

"I know. When I restarted time, I was able to use the time rush to push us in the opposite direction from your pursuers."

Jax shook his head.

"Are you sure that I'm not really dead and this is part of that?"

Tara smiled.

 **Author's Note:**

 _ **As Always Please Review**_

 **Next Up: Frustration and Desire**

 **This Tara torments Jax and he deserves every second of it.**


	2. Chapter 2

5

 **JAX IS REALLY ALIVE**

 **Author's Note I recapped all of Tara's Story's chapters and now I'm doing the same with** _ **Jax Is Really Alive**_ **.**

 **Chapter 1 Recap**

After killing a few people including Gemma, Jax prepares to die by driving his motorcycle into a big rig. Tara appears, stops time and convinces Jax to go with her. She doesn't quite look like Tara, but she's forceful and he finds that sexy. Of course, he wants to have sex with her. Death can wait a few minutes. No woman has ever turned down Jax Teller for sex. Yet.

 **CHAPTER 2 Frustration and Desire**

Jax shook his head as if to clear it. Nothing made sense. No one can stop time and this woman claiming to be Tara was definitely not Tara. Maybe he was having a dream and he'd wake up on Death Row.

"There's a bag behind you. It's got a hat with a wig attached to it, sunglasses and a green T-shirt. You need to put them on."

Jax did as she instructed. He couldn't think of anything else to do. For once, Jax was completely out of his depth.

"So, who are you really?"

"I'm Tara. You do know who she is, right?"

"Of course. She's my wife. I've loved her since I was sixteen."

"We had secrets between us. Stuff that we never told anyone."

Jax nodded.

" _Tara_ and I had secrets and stuff that we kept between us."

"Like the cabin that we went to our first Christmas together. We shared the cabin with a family. Adam was the father. There were two boys, Connor the older and the younger was Tyler. There was Lucy who was the middle child. We went ice skating and I kept falling. All the kids took turns skating with me. You had a fight with a guy at the rink because he wanted me to go off with him and I didn't want to." _(Author's Note: This is from Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas)_

This made no sense to Jax. What she said was right. Could Tara have told this story to someone who looked a lot like her? Maybe when she was arrested for killing the nurse, she had confided in someone in jail who looked a lot like her. That might explain the Tara angle, but it didn't explain the time stopping part. It was all beginning to give him a headache.

"You still don't think I'm Tara."

"You look a lot like her, but there's something missing."

They were driving to less populated areas. The road was deserted. An abandoned gas station was on the right. Tara pulled the car behind it so it couldn't be seen from the road.

She turned the car off. With a mischievous smile on her face, she climbed on top of Jax facing him.

Jax relaxed. _This_ he understood. Before he could wrap his arms around her and pull her close, she pinned his arms to his sides and began kissing him hard and pressing and rubbing against him. He tried to free his hands, so he could touch her, but she was stronger. It didn't make sense.

It was exquisite torture. His lust for her overwhelmed him. His desire for Tara had always been insatiable. He could have had sex with Tara as much as he was physically capable and still want her. His desire for this woman exceeded that.

Tara abruptly broke the kiss off and climbed back over to the driver's seat and started the car

"We're not going to have sex?" Jax asked.

"No, we're not," she said with a taunting smile.

"That was cruel," he complained.

"Yeah, so were all the times you cheated on me with porn stars and whores."

"I don't know how the hell you did it, but you are definitely Tara."

"Told you so," she said with a laugh.

Jax shut his eyes and tried to focus on ramping down his testosterone and killing his desire. He swore he could feel her in his blood. That wasn't possible either. Nothing made sense.

"Tara was never mean," Jax said.

She shrugged.

"Experiences have changed me."

"I held Tara, you, in my arms. She—you—were dead. You were cold. I've seen dead bodies. You weren't alive. You had injuries to the back of your head. They can't jump start that like a stopped heart. So, why don't you tell me how you cheated death?"

"I didn't cheat death. I died."

"I knew it. I am dead and this is hell. A version of Tara who gets my desire up and then won't have sex with me. That's definitely hell. I probably deserved to go to hell, but Tara didn't. She was a good caring person and the mistakes she made in her life were always about me. That's why there's only a copy of her here in hell with me. That's why there's something about you that isn't quite right."

"Actually, that explanation is a lot more plausible than the real one." She laughed. "It's really funny that your idea of hell is us being together and not having sex."

"Yeah, I guess hell would be a lot worse. So, how about explaining to me, what the hell _is_ going on?"

"Sure. It's simple. I'm an alien from another planet."

Jax's headache came back with a vengeance.

 **As Always Please Review**

 **Next Up Origin**

Tara explains how she came back from the dead.


	3. Chapter 3

7

 **JAX IS REALLY ALIVE**

 **Chapter 2 Recap**

Tara tries to prove to Jax that she's Tara by kissing him. He feels like she's Tara, but when she refuses to sleep with him, he wonders if he's in hell.

Tara reveals she's an alien from another planet.

 **CHAPTER 3 Origin**

Earlier Jax had tried shaking his head to clear it. It hadn't worked. Harsher methods were needed. Jax slapped himself in the face a couple of times.

"Wake up, Jax," he ordered himself. "Wake up!"

Tara burst into laughter.

"It's really fun seeing you off your game," she said.

"There's got to be a better explanation. This has to be a dream. Or maybe I was on Death Row and I volunteered for some crazy medical experiment and this is it."

"Or you're in hell with a slightly off version of Tara; one that won't have sex with you."

"I _knew_ it. I _am_ in hell."

"You can take off your disguise. We haven't seen anyone for twenty minutes. Here we go off road. We're almost there."

Tara turned the SUV off the road and continued driving in the rugged mountain area along a narrow dirt trail.

"It's not that complicated once you get past the aliens landing on earth bit. About seventy-five years ago in our time, there was a planet called Rackle with two countries separated by an ocean. They each were roughly the size of Texas. Sliven had a population of a million or so. Paralorn only had a population of half a million, but they were more advanced technically. The two countries had been at war for decades mostly over air pollution. The Slivens did a lot of manufacturing that produced a lot of hazardous chemicals. They dealt with the problem by building a domed city for them all to live in. The Paralorns wanted to use technology to reduce the pollution but that would require cooperation from the Slivens.

"Finally, they signed a peace treaty. Paralorn devoted itself to exploring space and tech advances. Sliven made weapons. They claimed they were worried about Paralorn leading enemies back to the planet with all their space exploration. Some of the Paralorns knew what was going to happen, but the government—apparently the most incompetent president and legislature in the country's history—saw rainbows and peace."

"I think I know this next part. The Slivens used their weapons to take what the Paralorns had," Jax said.

"Close. The Slivens told the Paralorns that if they didn't give up their country, they would detonate this atmosphere destroying weapon and kill them all. The government was overthrown and the former king and queen returned to power. Even before that, the King and Queen were working on a plan. They built underground tunnels with everything they would need to get through a massive atmospheric attack.

"They also had their spaceships, but there wasn't enough room for everyone. They had four ships each capable of holding five thousand people. Some volunteered to stay and then they used a lottery system to determine who got spaceship seats. The King stayed with the underground group. The Queen went with one of the ships. She took with her multiple embryos for everyone who wanted to contribute. They are pretty advanced with their in vitro techniques and they wanted their civilization and genetic line to continue. They also hoped to either find a planet for them all to live on or a planet to stay on until it was safe to go back."

"OK," Jax said, rubbing his temples. "I've got it so far. The space ships are looking for a planet and they find earth."

"Right. Earth was a perfect match. The plan was for the embryos to be implanted in Paralorn surrogates, but the embryos never made it past the three month mark. The Paralorn couples were infertile here. The Queen decided to implant the embryos into earth women. That's kind of creepy," Tara said.

"So those people I saw on talk shows when I was in prison who said they got abducted by aliens were telling the truth?"

"Maybe. The Paralorns heard the alien stories so they fed into them. They used robots that looked like all the alien drawings. They use a memory erase technique, but it isn't perfect. They decided to use in vitro only on pregnant women. They didn't want to impregnate a woman who wouldn't be able to explain the pregnancy."

"So, did the women have twins?"

Tara shook her head.

"That's what they expected, but the woman all had one child. They looked at the child's DNA and it matched back to the birth parents. They thought that it had all been a failure until one of these babies died from a fall. The baby returned to life a few hours later. This was more than sixty years ago, so they called it a miracle.

"When the baby came back it surprised the Paralorns too. The baby's DNA matched the parents when it was born. After the baby came back to life, the DNA didn't come back to the parents anymore. It matched back to the Paralorn embryo's parents. The only difference was the hybrid stops aging after age thirty-two or the age when they died whichever is greater. The hybrid also has an increased lifespan, which matches the Paralorns. They live to between three hundred and fifty to four hundred years old."

"So you died and came back?"

"Yes. My egg donor mother is the Queen and my father is the King. I call the Queen Meg kind of a mash up of mom and egg. She and a couple of others grabbed me as soon as I was shoved into cold storage at the coroner's office. She stopped time, so it was easy. The coroner's office had already lost one body a few weeks ago, so when I turned up missing, they did what all incompetent government agencies do, they lied and covered it up. The coroner's report was completely made up. They figured I was a victim of biker violence and no biker would testify or provide info and they figured you would take care of justice."

"So you _are_ an alien in Tara's body?"

"No. I'm a _hybrid_. I'm both equally. Instead of having two biological parents, I have four. If I hadn't been killed and died naturally, then the alien half would never have come out. Now, I can come back from a major injury, but if the coroner had sliced me up and removed my organs to weigh them, that would have been fatal. We aren't invincible. The human part rebuilds thanks to the alien part. The best part is that humans see me as not quite Tara. I look a lot like her, but once that alien side comes out they don't recognize me anymore even though I look exactly the same."

"That's why I don't completely recognize you," Jax suggested.

"No, that's not why. I don't know why. There's a lot we don't know about what happens because we—they—I can never figure out which one to use—don't want to destroy any of the embryos with research. There was a massive power failure on the ship and all except seventy-five or so embryos were lost. On Paralorn, the people don't have powers like they have here. Meg and I can stop time. No one else can do that. It's possibly something about earth that causes these powers to manifest and something unique to our genetic structure. We don't have the equipment or specimens to do much research. So it's a lot of guess work."

Jax ran his hand over his stubble again and shook his head.

"I never could have imagined this. It doesn't feel real."

"There's just one more big piece of information . . ."

"Let me guess," Jax interrupted. "I'm also an alien."

 **NEXT UP: Steamy**

 **Washing Off the Wendy**

And that's all I'm saying.

Except, I know this story was kind of dull and dry because I had to lay out all the sci-fi parts, but this should be the last major section that I have to do this. The rest will come in in smaller pieces. It made sense that there needed to be a long explanation between them.

 **AS ALWAYS PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW IF THIS EXPLANATION MADE SENSE TO YOU. It always makes sense to me or I wouldn't write it. It's the reader, I'm not sure of. THANKS. M.**


	4. Chapter 4

12

 **JAX IS REALLY ALIVE**

 **Chapter 3 Recap**

Tara explains that the Paralorns were forced underground by their enemies the Sliven who detonated an atmosphere destroying weapon. The queen took four ships with Paralorns and embryos, donated by citizens hoping to keep their genetic line alive, to Earth.

The Paralorns were infertile, unable to conceive or carry to term the embryos they brought from their home world, Rackle.

The embryos were then implanted in pregnant Earth women expecting that the women would give both to two babies. Only one baby was born. That child matched the Earth parents DNA.

A baby died and came back to life. The citizens of Charming called it a miracle. The Paralorns checked the baby's DNA and found it now matched back to the Paralorn's genetic structure. The baby was a hybrid with four parents.

Tara is a hybrid. She came back to life and the queen, nicknamed Meg by Tara, rescued her before an autopsy could be performed. Tara can come back from some injuries, but she wouldn't survive autopsy.

Tara and Meg can stop time. They don't know why they have this power. They believe it has something to do the Earth's atmosphere.

Jax guesses that he's an alien.

 **CHAPTER 4 Washing Off the Wendy**

Tara looked at Jax.

"Yes. That's why I had to stop time and save you. If that truck had hit you head on, you wouldn't have lived, alien or not. That's what you were going for isn't it? That Jesus moment with the head back, arms outstretched?"

"Yeah. I've screwed up my life so much, Tara. There's just no coming back from it. How do you know I'm alien?"

"They keep records and they've been watching us. You've met Meg. You know her as the homeless woman."

"I saw her today. She said it was time. I thought she meant it was time to die."

"We have a bigger destiny we need to live out."

"So, you're going to kill me so I turn into an alien?"

"You don't turn into an alien. You stay yourself. Humans won't see you as Jax Teller. It's the only way. You've got so much heat on you, you can't disappear and we can't fake your death."

"What if I don't want to do it?"

"I don't know. The idea takes some getting used to I guess. For me, I didn't have a choice. It just happened to me. I'm the same person, but I'm more focused. I have a greater sense of purpose, but I don't think that's alien. I think that's because of everything I went through. We're here," Tara said.

She drove the SUV straight into a huge rock that was a large as a two story house. The rock disappeared.

"What the hell?"

"Pretty cool, huh? The door opens and at the same time a picture of the outside is projected, so it looks like we drove into the rock. It's perfectly synced."

Jax exhaled loudly.

"This is starting to feel real now."

"I do love some of the tech stuff. I have to eat after I stop time or I get really sick and I can lapse into a coma. I come out of it, but it can take a couple of hours."

Jax looked again at Tara and his doubts about her identity returned. Maybe they had taken Tara's memories and put them into someone who looked a lot like Tara.

Aside from the unique way of opening, they were in an ordinary garage. There was a blue SUV also parked in the garage.

Tara walked to a door without a handle and it opened for her.

"There's some kind of sensor that verifies my identity before opening. This is the Queen's retreat. Very few know about it."

The door closed silently behind them. It had a modern décor, but it didn't look space age. It was all very calm and serene feeling in soft shades of blue and white. There were two seating areas, a dining table with chairs and a counter with bar stools. There was a small kitchen area and a hall that led to the bedrooms and a conference room.

"We'll eat at the counter."

"Who else is here?"

"Just us. We have the place to ourselves for a while. I know this all is going to take some time for you to adjust to."

Jax was struck by how confident Tara was acting. She seemed so calm and in control. When they were together, he had always assumed the lead in everything except taking care of the kids.

"We're having burgers and fries. What do you want to drink? There's beer, iced tea, water and close to every variety of soft drink. Paralorns love beer and soda sometimes together."

"Beer would be good," Jax said. He knew it would take more than one beer to take the edge off but at least it was a start.

Tara opened a cabinet and pulled out two plates with burgers and fries on them. They could have come out of any upscale burger place. She put the plates down and grabbed a beer bottle and a bottle of iced tea from the refrigerator and some napkins from a cupboard.

"This is the Jax burger. Medium, BBQ sauce, pickles, lettuce, double thick cut bacon with two slices of American cheese."

"My perfect burger," Jax said. Tara always surprised him by knowing all the details of what he liked.

"This is mine."

"Let me see if I can figure it out. Guacamole and hot sauce."

"I'm surprised you knew that," Tara said.

She got up from the bar stool and rummaged in the refrigerator until she found a bottle of ketchup.

Jax tasted the French fries. They were perfectly crispy.

"This food is amazing."

"I know. It's kind of depressing that machines and robots can cook better than humans. All I have to do is tell it what I want to eat and they make it and keep it hot and ready. They just can't come up with their own recipes. There needs to be something left for people to do."

"Are you happy?"

Tara looked at Jax with surprise. She couldn't remember him ever asking her that.

"No," she said slowly. "I have been so busy focusing on what I need to do that I haven't given much thought to anything else. I've been so worried about you, watching everything spiral out of control."

Jax nodded.

"I've been so lost without you."

Tara finished the last of her French fries, weighing what to say next. She was torn by her empathy and compassion for him, but she was still white hot angry about some of the things that had happened between them. The way she was seeing it, it was all his fault.

Tara carefully wiped her fingers on her napkin before turning to face him.

"While I was alive, you cheated on me with a whore and not just once. You screwed Wendy today knowing that you were going to kill yourself and you told her you _loved_ her."

The fury in her brown eyes removed all lingering doubt that this was Tara. This was a stronger, tougher Tara, but she was still Tara. She just wasn't going to be as easy to deal with as old Tara.

"Tara, I'm buried with everything that has happened. We can talk everything out, try to fix things, but I just can't deal with much now. I'm still working on you being alive and part alien and me being part alien."

"Fine. Understand one thing though, I didn't say I wanted to fix things. A lot has changed."

Once again, Jax felt like the ground was shifting beneath his feet. He assumed that since Tara was alive, they would be together. He needed her.

"You are the only one I've ever been in love with."

"Too bad your body wasn't as faithful as your heart."

"I deserved that."

"And a whole lot more." She got to her feet. "I'll show you where your room is."

She led him down the hall to a medium sized bedroom furnished with a bed, desk, chair, a closet and an attached bathroom all in the same blue and white color scheme.

"It's a little small for two, but I don't mind sleeping close," Jax said.

"I'm not sleeping here."

Jax was undeterred. He had never found a woman who could resist his sexual charm and that included Tara. New Tara might take a little more warming up, but he could get there. No problem. He had the perfect solution.

"I think I'll take a shower," he said, trying to sound casual. Tara never could resist him when he took a shower. He always left the door open so she could check him out and that always led to sex.

"There's a chest of drawers in the closet with T-shirts, underwear and socks. The closet has jeans and a few dressier clothes. All your size."

"Thanks, Tara."

"It will give you a chance to shower off the Wendy."

OK. This Tara was a lot more difficult than old Tara, but sex was sex and she would be his. He laid his cut on his bed, deliberately focusing his mind on sex and not on SAMCRO. That was too much to deal with now.

He stripped his clothes off and left them on the floor. He always did this at home. When he finished showering, he would pick up his clothes, but when Tara was around, she would pick them up and that would be her reason for being in the bathroom watching him all hot and steamy in the shower.

Just as he thought, Tara was in the bathroom, checking him out and picking up his clothes. New Tara or not, this would have the same ending. He feigned modesty by wrapping a towel around his waist. He was confident it wouldn't be there long.

Tara was in the bedroom.

"I'll start removing your tattoos."

"You have a laser?"

"No, there's a cream that lifts the ink."

She sat on the bed and opened a small case with a jar of cream and some cotton cloths.

"Really? Did you have yours removed?"

"Yes."

"Mind if I have a look?"

"Go ahead."

He sat next to her, unsure for a second.

"The one on your back. The rose."

"Go ahead."

She was wearing jeans with a white button front blouse with red tulips. It perfectly molded her breasts and waist.

He reached over and unbuttoned the first button. She didn't object, so he continued. After the fourth button, he had enough of her blouse open to pull it down off one shoulder to check for the rose tattoo.

His fingers brushed her skin checking for any scarring from the tattoo removal. As he stroked her skin, he heard her catch her breath.

"It won't work," she whispered.

"I don't know what you mean."

"The seduction. Here's your problem—you want me more than I want you."

"I can fix that, baby." He brushed her cheek with his thumb.

Tara looked into his eyes and laughed at _him_.

 **Next Up: Jax Gets a Dose of Reality or**

 **Harsh Truth**

 **PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKE THIS AND WHAT YOU THINK OF THE DIRECTION TARA AND JAX ARE TAKING. I don't want Tara to be too much of a bitch, but Jax is always so cocky and he needs to face some harsh truths.**

 **I write notes to those that review (good or bad it doesn't matter) but I can't write back to guest reviews, so that's why you don't hear from me.**


	5. Chapter 5

5

 **JAX IS REALLY ALIVE**

 **Chapter 4 Recap**

Tara explains to Jax that he is also a hybrid like her. She reveals Meg has been watching him and disguises herself as a homeless woman. The Paralorns have been watching over them for many years.

Once the alien side is activated, humans don't see the person as the original person anymore because unconsciously they sense the alien part of the person.

Jax still has seduction on his mind and decides he can seduce Tara by taking a sexy shower. She could never resist him when he took a shower. He leaves the door open, so she could check him out.

 **CHAPTER 5 Jax Gets a Dose of Reality**

 **Harsh Truth**

Jax was momentarily taken aback, but he quickly returned to his original plan to have sex with Tara. She was playing hard to get, but that would just make the victory sweeter. No woman had ever been able to resist him.

"I'll help you with your blouse and the buttons."

"Yeah, I was having trouble figuring that out," Tara said. From the tone of her voice, it was impossible to tell whether she was being sarcastic.

Jax slipped her blouse back over her shoulder, slowly brushing her warm, soft skin. Next, he began to carefully button her blouse making sure to check out her breasts in their pale pink bra with a tiny white bow in the middle.

"It's always easier to unbutton."

"You excel at that."

When Tara laughed at him, he thought she was backing him off, but she'd let him button her blouse, so maybe he was misreading the signals.

He moved closer and kissed her a little on the neck. Just the slightest pressure and Tara was underneath him. Just as he was about to run his hands underneath her blouse, she moved quick as a flash. The next thing he knew, she was straddling him. Tara with the alien upgrade was pretty awesome. Jax smiled at her.

"I like your new strength," he said. "I'm your prisoner."

"Jax, baby," Tara said, leaning close and whispering in his ear. "Go take a cold shower and then put on some pants."

She got up and left. Just like that. That brought him back to reality. Sex with Tara was no longer on the immediate horizon. And he'd taken a sexy shower! What the hell?

He took a cold shower because he really needed something to cool his blood. When he discovered this woman really was Tara, it never occurred to him that she wouldn't sleep with him. It was only a temporary setback. He was still Jax Teller and Tara could never resist him. Well, at least not for long.

He continued to block all thoughts about SAMCRO, his kids, the people he'd killed and everything else out. He was only thinking about the present. There would come a time when he would have to think about everything, but that time hadn't come. For now, he was focused on fixing things with Tara or, at least, patching things up enough so she'd have sex with him.

When he walked out of his bedroom, he heard Tara talking to someone. She was sitting at the counter talking to someone on a flat panel screen that had descended from the ceiling.

As Jax walked closer, he got a look at the screen and the person on it. He should have known it was a guy by the way Tara was looking at him and smiling. The guy was attractive enough with dark hair, high cheekbones and dark gray eyes. He estimated the guy was in his early to mid-thirties.

"Teller, I can see Tara got to you before you got squashed on the freeway."

"This is Ryland," Tara said.

"First or last name?" Jax asked.

"Just Ryland," he said. "I have something for you. I got your rings. Since you're alive, I thought you might want them back."

Jax didn't know this guy and should have no reason to dislike him, but the way Tara was looking at him and the way he was looking at Tara clinched it—he hated this guy.

"Thanks," Jax said, attempting to sound somewhat grateful.

"Tomorrow," he said. He lifted his index and middle fingers to his lips and held them up to the screen.

Tara did the same thing. The screen went dark and a message came on the screen saying "communication ended".

"What is that some alien way to say good-bye?" Jax asked.

"No, it's the way he and I say good-bye. That was nice of him to get your rings back."

"Yeah," he agreed.

"I will never know how those SONS rings stayed on your father's gravestone every time you left them there. I would have thought the wind would have blown them off or someone would have stolen them. It's crazy."

"I don't know. It never seemed strange to me."

"Ry said you left the SONS rings on Opie's gravestone and your wedding ring on mine. How long do you think they would have stayed there? Eternity?"

"I don't know. I wasn't thinking straight. I just wanted to visit you and Opie before . . . " he broke off. He didn't want to remember that moment or the moment when he realized there was only one way out for him. He lifted her hand and rubbed her finger where her wedding ring had been.

"You aren't wearing your ring."

"It belonged to your mother. I can't bear the sight of it."

"I get that," he said. "Tara do you still love me?"

He expected a quick reassuring "yes". That's not what he got.

 **NEXT UP Don't Need**

 **Jax and Tara talk relationship.**

 **As always, please review. Let me know what you like or dislike so I can make adjustments.**

 **The sci-fi jump is a big one, but you will see in upcoming chapters why I had to do it. There will be some shocking chapters ahead. Jax will begin to evolve from always thinking about sex, to thinking about it almost always. He will start to examine his life. He faced a lot of reality at the end of Season 7, but he still has some other things to face.**

 **M.**

(Author's Note—when Jax and Tara got married at the brothel in Season 5, they didn't have rings. Jax was going to be arrested for murder and some other charges related to Season 4's finale and he impulsively wanted to marry Tara before going inside. Gemma gave Tara JT's wedding ring and her wedding ring.)


	6. Chapter 6

3

 **JAX IS REALLY ALIVE**

 **Recap Chapter 5**

Jax tries harder to seduce Tara, but winds up taking a cold shower. Jax Teller is still confident that he can seduce this new, stronger Tara.

He meets via a screen Ryland, a tall, dark haired, gray-eyed man who is talking to Tara. He tells Jax that he has his SONS rings and his wedding ring. Based on the way Tara is looking at Ryland, Jax takes an instant dislike to him.

Needing reassurance, he asks Tara is she loves him.

 **CHAPTER 6 Don't Need**

Tara studied Jax's face for moment remembering back to when they first met. She loved him so much back in high school. She loved him when she returned to Charming. So much had happened since her return and most of it wasn't good.

"I don't know," she said, shaking her head. "I just don't know. I felt abandoned when I got charged with murder and you went off and screwed that whore. More than once. You were more interested in setting up a brothel business for SAMCRO than helping me deal with what was happening to me with that murder charge. I got that murder charge because I was helping you and SAMCRO beat the RICO case against you. And you abandoned me.

"It became so clear to me that our kids had to get out of the MC life. I couldn't let Gemma raise them if I got sent to prison. My attempt to prevent that was clumsy, but I was right about Gemma. She was a horrible, evil person who was a cancer to this world."

"I killed her."

Tara slid off the barstool, walked over to Jax and put her arms around Jax. She rested her face against his bare chest.

"I know, baby. I'm sorry she forced you to do that."

Jax wrapped his arms around Tara and held her tightly against him. He wasn't going to think about anything except getting back with Tara. Once he got that to happen, the rest of his life would fall into place.

"You were right. I put SAMCRO ahead of you. When I lost you, my life just spiraled thanks to the lies I was fed by Gemma and Juice."

Tara looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"I hate them for doing that to you."

She lifted her face and began to kiss him softly and gently. For once, Jax let Tara take the lead and kept his response soft and gentle. When she ended the kiss, he stroked her cheek gently.

"Oh, Tara, I didn't think I'd ever hold you in my arms again. I love you so much and I need you."

"That's the problem," she whispered softly. "I don't want you to need me to fix your world."

She stepped away from him and returned to the counter and began laying out the cloths and cotton swabs she would need to remove his tattoos.

"Where do you want to start on the tattoo removal?"

"Start with the SAMCRO tattoo on my back."

Tara looked at him and nodded.

"Good choice."

 **As Always Please Review**

 **Next Up Guess Who's Still Alive**


	7. Chapter 7

16

 **JAX IS REALLY ALIVE**

 **Chapter 6 Recap**

Jax and Tara have a relationship discussion and Jax discovers Tara isn't sure about her feelings.

He tells her he needs her and she tells him that she doesn't want him to need her to fix his world.

 **CHAPTER 7 Guess Who Is Still Alive or**

 **FORK YOU FORK ME FORK OFF**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE**

 **Originally, I planned to write this story for two hours every week and post it, but it just wasn't working for me. The narrative was too choppy, so I have decided to just write this normally. That means longer chapters with a more complex plot.**

Jax sat back down on his bar stool, somewhat dazed by the turn the conversation had taken. She didn't want him to need her to fix his world. What the hell did she mean? Did he really want to know? No, he didn't really want to know, but sooner or later he was going to have to repair his relationship with Tara if he wanted to sleep with her and he _really_ wanted to sleep with her.

There was just something about her that was intoxicating, that drew him to her and made him want her more than he ever had before. Maybe it was because she had done what no other woman had done before— _turn him down for sex_. That _wasn't_ all. Part of it was this new strong Tara. He found her incredibly sexy.

"Can you explain what you meant by you don't want me to need you?"

Tara began to apply the tattoo removal cream with the cotton swab to his back.

"Tell me if it burns."

"Answer my question."

"I wasn't trying to duck your question. You can't rely on another person to give your life direction. You find your direction and you follow it. I'm not your compass or your true north—whatever the hell that means. You have this rare opportunity to start over having learned from all your past mistakes.

"You are free of outside influences for the first time in your life. No Gemma, no Clay and no SAMCRO. You are completely in charge of your life. It can be whatever you want it to be. The Paralorns have gotten massively wealthy and you can have access to some of that. They feel very strongly that we're their children and they want to help us."

Jax rubbed his hand over his face. Tara wasn't a fan of facial hair. Maybe shaving would help him seduce her.

He remembered that there was another subject besides sex that he needed to think about. What was it? Oh, yeah. Now, he remembered. His future. He needed to think about his future now that death wasn't going to rescue him from his problems.

"When I was on my bike, driving head on into that semi, I felt like a weight was off my shoulders. I'd be free of all the mistakes I'd made. I felt euphoria. It was like how you felt as a kid on the last day of school. Now, I feel like I've just discovered I have to go to summer school."

"I get that. You just need to look at this as an opportunity to live your life in a better way."

"That's why I need you. I don't want to make the same mistakes and I need your help navigating this new life—if I agree to the alien thing. This last year without you has really made me realize how you kept me from turning into a monster. I need your influence. You were the only good influence in my life."

"You have to figure out what you want to do with your life. That's your responsibility. I can try to be a good influence, but ultimately, it's up to you."

Tara began to wipe off the cream.

"Your skin is taking to this cream really well. I can remove the whole reaper tattoo today. I can do both arms tomorrow."

"I feel like you are erasing my history."

"I guess I am. They attract too much attention."

"I know. That's why I'm not complaining about you removing them. I used to be so proud of them. Who removed yours? That guy?"

"Ryland? Yes. He took mine off. He's a doctor."

"Aliens get sick?"

"They are just like us except they don't get cancer. Ry's been trying to figure out how to get that immunity into humans."

This news just made Jax hate Ryland more. Of course, he would be doing some sort of noble research to benefit the human race and impress Tara.

"Hale is alive."

"Hale? He's part alien too?"

"Yes. He's returning to Charming. He's replacing the woman that took over for Roosevelt. She doesn't know it yet, but she's about to get busted on a bunch of corruption charges. She's been on the take for years. Hale is going to get another stab at removing SAMCRO from Charming."

"He won't succeed," Jax said.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that. You aren't there anymore. You may have a lot of confidence in Tig and Chibs being able to run SAMCRO, but Hale's smarter. I think he'll succeed unless SAMCRO recruits someone with a better brain."

"Maybe, I'll get alienized and then I'll go back and join SAMCRO and become president again."

"I'll kill you myself before I let that happen," Tara said, her voice deadly quiet.

Jax stood up, turned and looked at her.

"I wasn't serious."

"I was. I won't let you go back to that. I hate SAMCRO. They are just a bunch of thugs who make money by sexually exploiting women. They leave a trail of broken women and broken families. Not one of them is a decent father. They all need to grow up, quit pretending to be brothers and do some good for a change."

"I had no idea you felt this way."

"I tried hard to love SAMCRO. I really did. It didn't work. I tried to tolerant them. That didn't work either. It used to make me so angry when you would go off on some SAMCRO adventure and leave me with Abel and Thomas. Abel would always ask where you were. What was I supposed to tell him? Your father is busy playing brother with a pack of criminals? I wanted you to love me, so I swallowed how I really felt about SAMCRO. I loved you so much, I was willing to pay any price to keep you. I'm not willing to pay that price anymore. You aren't worth it. No man is."

Jax was dumbfounded. This new version of Tara was a lot stronger and saw life a little too clearly than was comfortable for him.

"I think you need another beer," Tara said. She went to the refrigerator, pulled out two beer bottles and opened them. "The Paralorns like to make their own beer. These are kind of a cross between root beer and real beer, but it packs a stronger punch than hard liquor."

"Sounds like it's just what I need."

Jax took a long pull from the bottle.

"That's really good."

"It's about the only liquor I enjoy drinking. Once they perfected the recipe, they gave the recipe to the robots who make more beer whenever there are less than twelve bottles in the frig."

Jax finished his beer and grabbed another one out of the refrigerator and opened it. He took another long pull. He was finally feeling calmer.

"JT reached the same conclusion you did; that being a member of SAMCRO and being a good father didn't work. I think he wanted out of the club or he wanted to change it into a non-outlaw club. I think that was the true reason Gemma and Clay killed him."

Jax returned to his bar stool, beer bottle in hand, so Tara could wipe the cream from his back.

"Perfectly removed. No one will ever be able to tell there was a tattoo," Tara said, standing back and admiring her handiwork.

"Can you finish the removal today?"

"If you don't mind sitting for another hour or two."

"I'd like to just get it over with."

"OK. I think we should have dinner first. I'm really hungry. For some reason, a club sandwich sounds so good to me right now."

"That does sound good if you add fries to it."

Tara ordered the food.

Tara sat down next to Jax on the bar stool waiting for the robots to prepare their food.

"Donna's also alive."

Jax shook his head.

"I'm still not used to the returning from the dead part."

"Prepare to really be shocked then. Opie's back. He and Donna had a tough time of it, but they put their marriage back together. It took Donna awhile to get past Opie's moving on to Lyla when she'd only been dead about thirty seconds."

"He got with Lyla because he couldn't function without Donna. He didn't know how to be a parent to his kids. Five years in prison will do that to a guy."

"He and Donna have worked things out. She's pregnant."

"It's hard for me to imagine Opie is alive. I saw him get killed."

"You also saw Hale die and you held my dead body in your arms."

"I know. What I mean is how? I saw him in his coffin."

"The prison was more than happy to cover up what really happened to Opie. That took care of preventing the autopsy. I think the official cause of death was something like slipped and hit his head."

"Skeeter did the funeral/wake stuff. I saw Opie's body. He embalmed him. Wouldn't that have killed Opie? Alien or not?"

"Skeeter's a full, came over on the spaceship, alien. After Opie returned to life, Skeeter gave him an injection that caused him to appear dead. He was in a kind of coma at the wake."

Tara heard a beep. She went into the kitchen and opened the cabinet and grabbed the plates.

"Being able to order food and have it appear still seems like magic to me," Tara said.

"Like room service."

"Yeah, like room service. You just say "cookie" and then tell it what you want to eat. It will ask questions if it needs more info. At the beep, the food is ready. You just open the cabinet door and there's your food."

"Maybe I'll bring you breakfast in bed tomorrow."

"You really have a one track mind."

"It was breakfast," Jax protested. "That's all that was on _my_ mind."

"Yeah, right," Tara said.

By the time Jax finished his sandwich and fries, he realized exactly what was going on with the aliens.

"The aliens were using Charming as a test site."

Tara nodded.

"Yes. You and I were mistakes. My parents came to California from Chicago shortly after my mother got pregnant. They wanted to tell his parents in person. The Paralorns can sniff out a pregnant woman by detecting the increase in hormone levels. When they saw my parents here, they assumed they lived in Charming. If they had known my parents were only visiting, they wouldn't have done the procedure. Gemma came to Charming shortly after she got pregnant with you. She wanted to tell Unser. Again, they made a mistake thinking that she lived here. That worked out because she moved here."

"Where is Opie now?"

"He lives in Maine. He and Donna own one of those dollar stores. I'm not sure of its name. Soon, they will get their kids back from Lyla. A couple of guys will go to Lyla and explain that Donna and Opie are in a witness protection program and it's now safe enough for their children to join them. They will show her a bunch of very convincing paperwork. I don't think Lyla's going to fight to keep the kids."

"No, I think she'll be relieved."

"They are thinking about bringing out the alien side to their kids. If they did that, they could come back to Charming. No one would recognize them."

"Bringing out the alien?"

"It sounds better than killing their kids so they'll come back to life and look different to humans."

"When can I see him?"

"This situation needs to calm down a bit. You can call him and see him on screen. The communications on both ends is completely secure. Maybe he can reassure you about the alien change. I wish there were a better alternative for you, but I can't see any other way for you except prison."

"Prison for life or Death Row or life as an alien," Jax said.

"I wish you wouldn't think of it like that. It's not some sinister, mind control thing. You are the same, just physically a little stronger and healthier with a longer lifespan. Why don't we see what's going on in the world? Aren't you curious about how this whole thing is being covered by the news?"

"I haven't had much time to think of it. Finding out you're alive and the whole alien thing has kept my mind busy."

"Yeah, I guess it's a lot to take in."

Tara ordered the communications system to scan for all news about Jax Teller or the Sons of Anarchy MC.

Screens descended from the ceiling, displaying various angles of Jax's last known position. There were two police helicopters and four news helicopters reporting on the manhunt for Jax Teller. They were searching his last known position.

No news reporter could explain how Jax Teller vanished. He was inches away from plowing head-on into a semi and then, without any time lapse, his bike just appeared on the shoulder of the freeway, his helmet hanging from the handlebars. He vanished into thin air.

There were also stories of what had occurred prior to his fleeing. The reports all said that he went on a bloody rampage killing his mother, a retired police chief who was a long-time family friend and two business associates. Jax's mug shots were shown and the public was cautioned that he was armed and extremely dangerous. There was even a $50,000 reward and the FBI added him to their ten most wanted list.

"They make me sound like some crazed animal. I hope Wendy isn't letting Abel watch this," Jax said.

"This will go down as the biggest most mysterious disappearance in history. They can't figure out how you got away. They are trying to say there was some kind of glitch and there's a missing piece of video, but that doesn't explain how the glitch occurred to every single person recording the incident."

The video was rerun in slow motion, but the reporters could provide no explanation for what happened to Jax Teller.

Two news helicopters narrowly missed colliding. One was forced to set down hard on the freeway. It was closed in both directions while law enforcement combed every inch for a trace of Jax Teller.

"The commuters are going to hate you. That's going to be nightmare of a commute."

"SAMCRO will hate me too for not killing myself."

"Fork SAMCRO. Jury deserved to die. You killed him in self-defense. You should have fought that charge."

"It didn't make a difference. By that time, I knew I was going to end things. That's why I didn't bother."

"Your "brothers" should have refused to let you do it. They should have stood up for you. They threw you away. You were a good little soldier right up to the end though, killing enemies of SAMCRO before you tried to kill yourself. How do you think your kids are going to take this news? Abel's too young to fully understand, but in a few years, he'll be able to find any information he wants on you."

"I told Nero that I wanted him to tell my kids that I was a criminal and they shouldn't grow up wanting to be like me."

"When I heard you tell Nero that you weren't a good man, it kind of broke my heart."

"How the hell do you know everything I did?"

"Your cut was bugged. They've been listening to your life for years. I took the bug out of your cut and destroyed it while you were in the shower."

"First or second time?"

Tara smiled.

"First."

"When I was trying to seduce you into having sex with me."

Tara laughed.

"Yes, I could practically read your mind. You thought you would take a shower and I would immediately agree to have sex with you."

"It's worked before," Jax said sounding a little wounded.

"That's true. You don't really put much effort into seducing a woman. Women come too easily to you."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," he said with a smile.

"It is. Your mother raised you to have sex without feelings because she wanted you to love only her. That's why she hated Wendy and me. She might have to share you and she didn't want to do that."

Tara finished wiping the cream from his right arm, leaving his arm bare of all tattoos. She grabbed the cotton swab and began painting the cream on his left arm.

"I knew Gemma was different, but I thought I could handle her. I didn't see her as truly evil until I realized she killed you and blamed it on the Chinese. She knew it would set me on fire and lead me down a dangerous, bloody path. All she cared about was getting away with killing you. If she had told me that she heard that you had made a deal and I was going away for the rest of my life, I could see her killing you in a fit of anger. I could have eventually forgiven her for it. If she had only told me the truth."

"Gemma's a coward when it comes to telling the truth," Tara said. "Between Juice and Gemma, any plan they came up with was going to be bad. They weren't smart enough to realize they didn't need to come up with a story. Gemma and Juice just needed to leave."

"Juice killed Roosevelt to protect Gemma."

"I know. Roosevelt was a decent, honest guy. He didn't deserve to lose his wife and his life to SAMCRO. If they wanted to make up a story, Juice should have just said he saw a couple of guys run to a van with a satanic bumper sticker. He could have written some pro satanic sayings in my blood on the wall. It's California. You can always sell the idea that it was a satanic cult. I was the target because those type of killings are random. Roosevelt was killed when he walked in. That's why he was shot."

"I don't think satanic cults use meat forks to kill with," Jax said.

"There's always a first time. My mother used to always tell me that I had a hard head because she thought I was stubborn. When Gemma was stabbing me, I kept thinking about it. I guess even a hard headed person can't take a fork to the head," Tara said and she giggled. "Fork you, fork me, fork the whole world or just fork off. Who needs guns?"

Jax laughed. The way she said it made the whole situation seem so ridiculous.

"Remember the Monty Python where John Cleese was teaching self-defense against fruit? Just before everything went white, I thought I should have taken a class on self-defense against meat forks. It was such a strange thing to think before dying."

"Did you feel it when I took you in my arms when I found you?"

"No. I remember falling. I don't remember hitting the floor. After Meg, Ryland and some of the others I don't know by name took me out of the coroner's van, I was hidden in the SUV and Ryland and Meg drove me here. Ry put me in a bed downstairs. You haven't seen the lower floor yet. It has medical facilities and a gym and bunks for a small group. He dimmed the lights and he stayed with me until I woke up. He didn't want me to wake up alone. He said it took about eight hours."

"So thoughtful," Jax said with a sarcastic edge to his voice.

"Do you want me to finish?" Tara asked as the wiped the last of the removal cream from Jax's left arm. "The only one left is the Abel tattoo on your chest."

Jax nodded.

"I just want to get it over with."

"Ry has a technique to remove scars. It will only take a couple of minutes. He'll be here tomorrow."

In order for Tara to remove the Abel tattoo, she had to sit so close to Jax, she was practically in his lap.

"I can hardly wait."

"He's a great guy."

"I don't have to like him, do I?"

"No. Am I detecting a bit of jealousy?"

"I'm never jealous."

"Because you are Jax Teller and no woman can resist you."

"You've done a pretty good job resisting me so far today."

"It hasn't been that difficult."

Tara wiped the last of the tattoo removal cream from his chest and stood up.

"It's all done. You are now tattoo free."

"Old Tara never could resist me," Jax said.

"Old Tara faked it—a lot."

"Now you're just being cruel."

Tara grinned.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard. He had missed her so much and he was so close to having her back. If he could just have sex with her, he knew that would show her that she was still in love with him.

"You know you want to give in," Jax whispered in her ear.

"Torturing you is more fun."

"More fun than a long leisurely session of lovemaking?"

"You call five minutes leisurely?" she asked him with a taunting grin.

"OK. That's it," Jax said. He released her and stepped back. He decided to take a different approach to getting Tara to have sex with him; reverse psychology. "I wouldn't have sex with you even if you begged." Let her think about that.

"You might want to take another shower to make sure all the cream is gone."

Here it was, Jax thought. Tara was starting to come around. He knew she wouldn't be able to resist him for long. She wanted him to take another sexy shower, so she could check him out again.

"Just one problem. How am I going to wash my back? I might require medical assistance."

"All you have to say is wash me and the shower turns into a human car wash. It will scrub you clean."

"You know, Tara, you're not as much fun as you used to be."

"I'm going to bed. If you want to watch TV in your room, just say "screen on" and a screen will appear in the wall opposite your bed. Tell it what you want to watch or say menu and you'll see what's available to watch."

Tara waited until Jax was in the shower before putting the note on his bed. She smiled, picturing the expression on his face.

Jax got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He looked at the note on his bed.

The note read:

I know how you hate to sleep alone, so I left you a present under your bed.

Tara

Jax pulled out a bright pink box from underneath his bed and opened it. Inside was a blow-up sex doll made to resemble Ima.

After Georgie Caruso was murdered by SAMCRO, Ima went ahead with her line of sex dolls. She planned to start at the low end of the market making blow-up dolls and to use the profits to launch her upscale anatomically correct line of high-end sex dolls.

Jax went to Tara's room. She was sitting cross legged on her bed.

"Not funny, Tara. Not funny at all."

"Good night, Jax," she said with a smile.

The door shut automatically leaving Jax looking outraged and feeling sexually frustrated. He returned to his room to plot out how he was going to seduce Tara and, if he had time, he'd think about his future.

 **NEXT UP Patch Kit**

 **Jax has a sleepless night and discovers he might be a prisoner.**


	8. Chapter 8

4

 **JAX IS REALLY ALIVE**

 **Chapter 7 Recap**

Tara reveals Opie and Donna are still alive. They have put their marriage back together, Donna's pregnant and they are hoping to get their kids back from Lyla soon.

Hale is also alive and he's going to take another run at destroying SAMCRO.

TV news reports that Jax Teller went on a deadly rampage before escaping on his motorcycle. He was driving his motorcycle into a head-on collision with a big rig when suddenly something happened that no one can account for happened. Jax's bike is parked on the side of the road with his helmet hanging from the handlebars. No one can figure out how he escaped.

 **CHAPTER 8 Patch Kit**

Jax didn't get much sleep last night. Thoughts of sex and Tara filled his head driving out any rational thought. He got up early and decided to go on a hike to work off some of the sexual tension.

Jax walked up to the area that he and Tara had used to enter the house. There wasn't a door, but Jax was sure the area that had turned into a door.

"Open door," Jax said.

"I'm sorry, Jax. I can't open the door for you. You are not authorized to leave. You will need Tara's permission."

The voice sounded just like Tara. It was eerie.

"I can't believe this! I'm a prisoner."

"You can't leave. If that makes you a prisoner, then you are a prisoner."

Jax thought about banging on Tara's door and demanding she let him out, but he realized that wouldn't be a smart move.

"House, I want to watch TV," Jax said.

"House is not my name. You may call me Cas. That stands for central automated system. What would you like to watch?"

"Scan for Jax Teller or SOA or Sons of Anarchy."

"Past or present?"

"Present."

"Bringing all information online."

Screens descended from the ceiling and Jax saw immediately that he was still the top news story.

"I can't believe this story is still being covered."

"Data shows this has been the top news story in the United States and Ireland. All other countries are picking up coverage from central data reporting services. I can scan all foreign news broadcasts an translate them."

"You don't need to go to all that trouble, robot," Jax said with thinly veiled sarcasm.

"I am not a robot. I _instruct_ robots."

Jax shook his head. This day was getting off to a great start. No sex and he had just offended the damned computer system.

"That's just wonderful for you, asshole," Jax, muttered under his breath.

"I do not understand. I am a computer. I do not require an asshole. You sound unhappy. What can I do to help? Was your Ima sex doll inadequate? Would you prefer to have a sex doll that looks like the whore Colette? I am scanning, but I can find no off the shelf sex dolls that resemble Colette. I can print a plastic sleeve that resembles the whore Colette. I have images of her on file. You can slide the sleeve over the face of the Ima sex doll. I can order a custom doll, but that will take Tara's authorization and it will take a significant turnaround time. Would you like to check to determine the exact time it will take?"

"I can't believe I'm being disrespected by a freaking computer system."

"Cas doesn't mean any harm. She knows that you were with Colette and she just wants to make you happy," Tara said, as she walked into the living area.

"In your voice." Jax said.

"She can use any voice she's heard including male voices. If you don't like the voice, tell her who you want her to sound like."

Jax checked out Tara. She looked hot. She was wearing a bright grass green dress with a V-neck that showed just a trace of cleavage. The dress was ankle length, but there was a slit that showed a flash of thigh as she walked.

"I can't remember the last time I saw you in a dress," Jax said. "You look beautiful."

Jax was used to Tara in tight jeans and tank tops. That had been sexy to him. Now, he was really into the dress. All he had to do was wrap her in his arms and pull up her dress. . .

"You're thinking about sex."

Jax laughed.

"How did you know?"

Tara went over and touched his arm.

"Because that's always on your mind and poor you, no one but Ima at sleep with. Did you need to use the patch kit that came with Ima?"

Tara's eyes were actually sparkling as she tormented him.

"Maybe tonight if I can't have you," he said. He slid his arm around her waist.

 **Next Up That Jax Teller Smile**

 **Ryland comes to the queen's retreat and he doesn't look like an alien. Where does Tara spend the night?**


	9. Chapter 9

14

 **JAX IS REALLY ALIVE.**

 **Chapter 8 Recap**

Jax wants to go out for a hike and discovers the central automated system or Cas will not allow him to leave without Tara's authorization. He wonders if he's a prisoner

 **CHAPTER 9 That Jax Teller Smile**

Tara pulled away from Jax and smoothed her dress over her body in a way that made Jax envy Tara's hands.

He tried to think of something other than sex, but the more he tried to think of something other than sex, the more his brain fixated on sex.

"Ryland's here," Tara said.

"You don't want me to kiss you in front of him?"

Tara shook her head.

"No and don't fight with Ryland."

The wall slid open and Ryland walked in. Jax had seen him talking to Tara, but he was surprised that he looked so human. There wasn't anything about him that made him look like a space alien.

He was tall with broad shoulders, dark hair and deep gray eyes. Jax reluctantly admitted that women would find him attractive.

"You look tired," Tara said.

"I've been up for 36 hours straight. I'm going to go grab four hours of sleep."

He put his hand out to Jax.

"Teller, it's good meeting you," Ryland said.

Jax shook his hand politely.

"So, you are 100% alien."

Ry laughed.

"I'll cut myself so you can see my green blood."

"He's kidding," Tara said.

"I'll see you in four hours. We can have lunch together."

He left them and walked down the hall out of earshot.

"I wanted to go hiking and I was told that I can't leave without your authorization."

"That's true. This place may be out in the middle of nowhere, but we can't take a chance that you will be seen. It would destroy our ability to use this as a high security retreat for Meg. Only seven people know this place is here."

"Why does Meg need such a secure place?"

"It's not just the queen. The remaining fertilized eggs are stored here. There have been rumors that on board the ships that left Paralorn, there were spies for Sliven among them. Meg has to have a secret place to stay if necessary. I had to beg Meg to let me bring you here."

"Why? I can't be a spy for the Slivens."

"It's the heat that you bring. They are scouring the world for you. I knew your disappearance would be big news, but this is beyond anything I could have imagined. There have been sightings of you in Canada, France, South Africa, China and everywhere in between. A Vegas casino wants you to do the disappearing act on stage."

"Before you got here, I was about to check out the news coverage. I want to see if the MC has said anything."

"Cas bring up the footage I asked you to collect of the SOA starting with the earliest to the most current."

Jax and Tara stood in the living room looking up at a large screen that began to replay everything that SAMCRO said publicly about Jax.

Chibs, his Scots accent heavier than usual, confirmed that Jax Teller was a member of the Sons of Anarchy Motor Cycle Club. He went on to explain they were not an outlaw MC, but a group of motorcycle enthusiasts who were known for their charitable works.

He managed to say this with a straight face. Happy, standing next to him, coughed to cover a laugh.

When pressed with questions about Jax killing enemies of the MC before vanishing, Chibs retreated to the MC's favorite line—the charges against Jax Teller were merely allegations.

"They don't know about the mayhem vote yet?" Jax asked.

"Cas would have found it. It's bound to come out though. Someone with get drunk and talk."

"Breaking news about SOA," Cas said.

"Display," Tara said.

A female reporter wearing a spandex skirt so short it could have been a belt, a cropped T-shirt that displayed a pierced navel and stiletto bondage shoes explained that she was going to try to gain access to Scoops that was used as the Sons of Anarchy Motor Cycle Club's clubhouse where the Sons hold their meetings and plot their alleged illegal activities. She had disguised herself as a hooker to gain entry into the secret confines. She pointed to a reaper pin on her blouse.

"Hidden camera. Let's check this out." She winked at the camera.

She walked into Scoops and gave Chuckie a confident smile.

"How ya doing, baby?"

"Who are you?"

"The guys called for me," she said.

Chuckie looked at her skeptically, but before he could say anything else, she disappeared up the staircase.

Chibs, Tig and Happy were at the table.

"Good morning, gentlemen."

"Who the hell are you?" Chibs demanded.

"I'm Diana DeNutz from channel 5 K-RAP TV. I have sources that mention a mayhem vote on Jax Teller. Isn't it true that's a kill order? Isn't it also true that the SOA are behind Jax Teller's disappearance? Is Jax Teller even alive?"

Happy and Tig grabbed her, shoved her down the stairs and out the door of Scoops with her hidden camera catching chaotic images of the stairs, the floor and the ceiling showing how swiftly she was removed from the clubhouse.

The camera cut to a live shot of the battered news reporter.

"What are they hiding? Are they behind Jax Teller's disappearance? Are they helping him hide from law enforcement or have they killed him?"

Chuckie opened the door to Scoops and threw the reporter's purse at her.

"What can you tell me about a mayhem vote on Jax Teller?" she asked

Chuckie smiled at the camera and went back inside Scoops.

"We will not hesitate to break into programming if there are any more developments in the Jax Teller hunt. This is Diana DeNutz from channel 5 K-RAP news signing off."

"Perfect timing. Now you know."

Jax shook his head.

"I don't know what I was expecting. They probably think I betrayed them, that I didn't have the courage to kill myself. They are going to take a lot of shit from the chapter presidents."

"Jax, you killed two of their biggest enemies. They owe you for that. In the end, it isn't about SAMCRO. You need to get your head screwed on right when it comes to them. They are behind every bad thing that has ever happened to you. Give _that_ some thought."

"Why didn't you say this stuff to me before?"

"I thought I would lose you if I made you choose between the club and me. I've always known that you love the club more than you've ever loved me," Tara's voice was filled with sadness.

"When I was inside on the fed weapons charges, I did a lot of thinking. I realized that you and the kids were what's important. I love you more than the club. I made the decision to leave the club. We were going to get out."

"And when you were forced to help the cartel get weapons to prevent the government from destroying all the MCs with RICO, _I_ was the one who helped you beat RICO. What thanks did I get? Wait, now I remember," Tara said in a bitter, mocking voice. "I got arrested for murder. Was my husband by my side helping me? No. He was off screwing a whore and building a business empire based on degrading and exploiting women."

Jax caught his breath.

"Tara, I've apologized. I don't know what else to do. You need to remember that I tried to visit you in jail and you refused to see me. You pulled away from me _first_."

Tara stared at him incredulously.

"I was ashamed. I wasn't raised like you were. Going to jail was humiliating and degrading. I'm a surgeon. I worked at a hospital. Between the botched kidnapping and my injured hand and my arrest, the career I spent my entire adult life building was gone. And I don't believe for a second that you are really sorry about that whore Colette and the SAMCRO stuff. You are sorry about my reaction and that it didn't work out as planned, but when I needed you the most, you _failed_ me.

"I remember after you got rid of Kohn's body. You told me that you would never let it blow back on me because you would never let me get hurt. What the hell changed? My assistance in breaking RICO blew back on me and destroyed me. I'm done with this conversation. If you want to use the gym or you want anything ask Cas. I'm going to my room. I need to be alone."

Jax slapped his hand against his head and wondered if this nightmare would ever end. Would he ever get old Tara back? This new, tougher Tara was brutal. He didn't know what it was going to take to get back on Tara's good side.

Why did she feel this constant need to bring up the past? He couldn't change the past. Why couldn't she just put the past to bed? Maybe it was a woman thing—this endless need to keep rehashing the past.

Jax talked to Cas and she helped him find the gym in the lower level. She explained the equipment and added there was a room that was one giant treadmill that could simulate various outdoor scenes. He went into the treadmill room and told Cas he wanted a beach setting. The white walls, the ceiling and the floor turned into a beach. Hidden speakers provided the sound of the waves and the call of the seagulls. There were even vents that blew air making it feel like an ocean breeze. He began to run and the floor that looked like sand moved with his pace whether he slowed to a walk or ran.

As he ran harder and harder, he realized it was like his life. The harder he ran and the harder he tried, the more he was doomed to remain in the same place.

His kids, SAMCRO and Tara. It was too much to think about and there were no easy answers. Jax thought about sex. It was a simple subject and he enjoyed thinking about it. He would have to deal with his new reality, but he just wasn't ready to figure out what he was going to do with his life. He ran until he collapsed.

By lunch time, Jax had recovered physically, but he still wasn't ready to face the future.

After an awkward lunch, filled with uncomfortable silences, Jax, Tara and Ryland went to the lower level so Jax's scar near his heart could be removed.

The medical unit was a series of four rooms that formed a mini-hospital. There was a room for surgery, a room equipped with six beds for patients, a pharmacy and an exam room.

Ryland explained that most of the equipment was kept behind the walls that would slide open when needed.

"Check out my hand and wrist," Tara said to Jax holding out her arm. "The surgeons did a good job, but Ry went beyond that. He made my wrist and hand even better than before and he erased the scar."

Jax touched Tara's wrist and hand. He couldn't feel any scar tissue.

"Did you take out the screws and everything?" Jax asked Ryland.

"Yes," Tara answered for him. "I was awake during the surgery. It was amazing to watch Ry's surgical techniques," Tara said.

Jax didn't like the way Tara looked at Ryland. She admired him. He couldn't remember the last time Tara had looked at him that way.

"Have a seat," Ry said gesturing towards a chair that looked like it came out of a dentist's office. "And remove your shirt."

"How did you get the scar?" Ryland asked as he touched the scar.

"I got shiived in prison."

"They did a terrible job stitching you up."

"The California penal system doesn't get the top of the line docs."

Tara hovered between Jax and Ryland, clearly uneasy.

"Tara, it's OK. We'll be fine," Ry said.

Tara looked at Ry and nodded

"OK."

Jax waited until Tara left.

"And why wouldn't we be fine?" Jax asked.

"Competition. We're both in love with Tara."

"You aren't competition. Tara and I have been in love since we were sixteen."

"You're the past, Teller. I'm Tara's future."

Ryland swabbed the scarred area with purple liquid from a bottle.

"I'm going to use a special piece of equipment. It's kind of like a laser. It will lift the scar and in two days, maybe sooner, no one will ever know the scar existed. Tara did a great job of removing your tattoos."

"Tara is my wife," Jax pointed out.

"I'm not sure about the legalities of that, since she died, but it doesn't matter. Sometimes, you have to make your own rules. You know all about that, right?"

Ryland opened a drawer and pulled a small machine from a drawer.

"You might feel a slight tingle."

Five minutes later, the scar was gone replaced by a red area. Jax got up to leave. The less time he spent with Ryland, the better.

"Do you want what is best for Tara?" Ry asked, getting to his feet so he could look Jax in the eye.

"Of course I do."

"Even if that means you aren't the best person for her?"

"Tara and I have been in . . . "

"Love since you were sixteen," Ryland completed the sentence. "That doesn't answer my question. I heard the conversation between you and Nero at Teller-Morrow. You told him to tell your kids you were a bad man, a criminal and a murderer. Is that the kind of man you think Tara deserves?"

"I can be the kind of man Tara deserves."

"I don't think you can. I was with Tara when you attacked the guy in prison and ripped out one of his teeth. She began to shake and scream. Some of that was due to the trauma of transitioning between human and hybrid, but a lot of it was due to you."

"I thought Tara was dead. I reverted into what I would have been without her in my life—a mindless thug."

"She also saw you kill the Chinese man your mother said killed her. She saw you torture and kill that man. She became so upset that I had to sedate her for two days."

"She didn't tell me that," Jax said.

"Ask her. It happened. You aren't good enough for Tara. She deserves better. I know you have history with Tara and the two of you have to work out some stuff because you have a son together and another one that Tara considers her son, but you _are_ the past. And you are going to stay there."

Jax was used to fighting with his hands, arms, legs, feet and even head. He wasn't used to fighting with words and ideas. He suspected that Ryland was more skilled at that type of warfare.

"What does she really know about you?" Jax fired back. "You are an alien from another planet. Who knows what kind of person you really are? You could be worse than me. She just hasn't seen the real you yet."

"You can tell yourself that to make yourself feel better, but Tara deserves the best. I may not be the best, but I am a hell of a lot better than you."

Jax clenched his fists and tried to focus on calming himself. He couldn't hit this asshole. It would prove his point and Tara would be disappointed.

Jax smiled, that winning Jax Teller smile.

"Nice try. I'm not going to hit you."

"It doesn't matter if you did. I'm five times stronger than you are."

"Asshole," Jax said.

"Do you love her enough to do what's best for _her_ and not what's best for you?"

"Tara may buy this noble doctor act, but I see through you. Tara was vulnerable and you took advantage of her. You aren't better than me."

Jax left. He wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to keep himself from hitting Ryland. What the hell kind of name was that, anyway?

Dinner was another awkward meal. Immediately after, Ryland returned to work in the medical unit.

"Tara, I know we have a lot to talk about, but I just need a little time to kind of adjust. Can't we just watch videos like we used to do in high school?"

Tara nodded.

"I think that's a great idea. It will be nice to have some down time. I've been so stressed watching everything going on in Charming."

"I was pretty stressed living it," Jax said drily.

Tara laughed and for a moment she was the carefree, happy Tara he remembered.

Jax and Tara relaxed watching the videos they used to watch together in high school. Jax was hoping Tara would be reminded of all the good times they had had together.

Several hours later, Ryland returned and they ate hot fudges together before they all went to bed.

When Jax walked into his bedroom, he found the Ima sex doll in the middle of his bed, inflated and with a plastic sleeve over its face so it resembled Colette.

"Who did this?"

No one replied. Jax wasn't sure if the computer system could hear him in his room.

"Cas, are you there?"

"Of course, Jax. I am always listening."

"Who inflated the doll and put the plastic Colette face over Ima's face?"

"I thought you needed assistance with the Ima sex doll. I instructed a house robot to inflate the Ima sex doll and instructed another robot to make the plastic sleeve that looks like Colette and place it over the face of the Ima sex doll. It matched perfectly to Colette's face. I instruct robots. Did they do something that displeased you?"

"I don't want the damned sex doll," Jax said.

"I will have a robot come in and remove it."

"No. Don't do that. Who told you to make the Colette face and put it over Ima's?"

"No one. I have been programmed to use initiative."

There wasn't any point in continuing to talk to the computer. It would be like trying to eat ice cream with your nose; it was destined to end in failure.

He left the door to his room partially open and the door to the bathroom completely open when he took a shower, hoping that Tara would wander in while he was taking a shower. He was disappointed that Tara wasn't waiting for him, but he wasn't surprised.

He was beginning to realize his problems with Tara couldn't be cured by a sexy shower and sex.

He pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms he found in the closet before leaving his room. He tapped on Tara's door. No answer. He knocked louder.

"Tara, it's me, Jax."

He got no reply. He returned to his room and began pacing.

"House, I mean Cas, where is Tara?"

"Tara is in Ryland's room."

He didn't think his life could get any worse, and then, it just did. That was the moment when the bottom fell out of Jax Teller's world.

 **As always please review, so I know what parts are working and where I need to improve. It takes a lot of work for me to write a chapter and as a courtesy, please provide feedback. Thanks.**

 **Next up Hey Jealousy (from the Gin Blossoms song of the same name. The lyrics and the mood of the song fit Jax's situation. The lyrics can be found online.)**

Jax discovers jealousy. Donna has a difficult pregnancy and Ryland has to go to her aid. Jax demands to know if Tara is sleeping with Ryland and the long answer will not be what anyone expects.

This is going to be a long chapter with a lot of emotion packed scenes. I hope to post it the second week in August. The story is building for a couple of huge developments and plot twists.

Next up for me—another chapter of Tara's Story in two weeks. If you haven't discovered Tara's Story, give it a try. It's about Jax and Tara's love story from high school with flash forwards to the TV series seasons 1-7 that explains and adds to series info from Tara's point of view.

And there's always Strange Times for SAMCRO that I also write. It is SAMCRO as a comedy with no drama and fun times. There is a little drama with Juice who is in trouble for losing his cut to a rival, the VPUs (the Vespa Purple Unicorns, a vicious Vespa riding club).


	10. Chapter 10

22

 **JAX IS REALLY ALIVE**

 **Chapter 9 Recap**

Ryland joins Jax and Tara at the queen's secure retreat. Jax realizes Ryland doesn't look like an alien and most women would find him attractive.

Jax and Tara learn that there is a world-wide search on for Jax and sightings of him have been reported all over the world.

Ryland removes the scars Jax go from getting shivved in prison. He tells Jax that he is in love with Tara. He tells Jax that he needs to think about what is best for Tara and not just what is best for him.

Tara tells Jax that he needs to grasp the simple fact that every bad thing that has happened to him has a connection to SAMCRO. She goes on to say she didn't tell him how she truly felt about SAMCRO because she thought she would lose him. She always did whatever she could to keep him.

Now, she stands up for herself and is stronger and more confident.

 **Chapter 10 Hey Jealousy**

Jax tried to calm himself. Tara could be in Ryland's room for a perfectly innocent and nonsexual reason.

There were many reasons why Tara wouldn't sleep with another man. They were still married. Tara would never break her marriage vows.

OK, but what if she thought they weren't married anymore? When wedding vows got made up, no one could have foreseen people coming back from the dead. Now, sometimes people die and they get brought back to life with CPR or some shocks to the heart. Those people were still married even if the spouse died for a few minutes. He decided to point that out to her and make his case that they were still married.

Tara didn't need to have sex with another man when he was around. He was great in bed. She didn't need anyone else. He knew exactly what to do to make her moan and whisper his name so low, soft and sexy. It was almost a purr of pure bliss.

Jax frowned. What if Alien Guy had some alien moves that no human could compete against? What then? Shit! How could he be expected to compete against that?

"Cas, is Tara back in her room?"

"No."

He pictured Ryland moving his hands over Tara's body, touching her in the places no other man was allowed to touch and kissing her in all the private places he loved best.

Jax took a couple of deep breaths, concentrating on controlling his anger. He wanted to pound on Ryland's door and then pound on his face. He didn't care if Ryland were five times stronger. He could get a few hits in, but he couldn't do that. That wasn't the kind of behavior that would help him with Tara.

"Do you know when she will be back in her room?"

"No, but based on her past behavior pattern, she will spend the night hours with Ryland. If there is an emergency, I can alert her. Is there an emergency?"

"No."

Jax found his way to the gym and began running on the fancy alien treadmill because he needed to expend the energy anger and jealousy had built up in his body.

When he found Tara dead on the floor of his kitchen, he had been overwhelmed with grief, but he had support around him. He had his kids, Gemma and SAMCRO. Now, Tara was alive, but the rest of his life had gone to shit.

His kids were with his ex-junkie, ex-wife who had recently had a crank relapse. Abel was acting out. Who knew what poison Gemma had been whispering in his ear, but he knew that she must have told Abel the same shit she'd told him. He was going to be president of SAMCRO and that was the most important job in the whole town.

Yeah, he saw how well that had worked out for him. He had been a member of SAMCRO for almost half his life. What did he have to show for it? Nothing. Abso-fucking nothing. Some memories maybe. And a mayhem vote. His brothers turned his executioners. Tara was right. Every bad thing in his life had a connection to SAMCRO.

He thought about how he treated her, deliberately hurting her. He ran faster, hoping to outrun that horrible memory. Abel had been kidnapped and Tara had helped him sell some black market HIV drugs to a doctor at a clinic to fund the trip to Ireland to get him back. When the cops raided the clubhouse, he blamed the doctor that Tara recommended although he had no proof. That raid made him realize that Tara could be in danger of losing her life or her medical career if she remained with him

When he didn't come home that night, he knew Tara would come to his room at the clubhouse looking for him. He had decided to push her away hoping to save her from what had ended up happening to her—getting murdered.

In vivid detail, he remembered her opening the door to his room at the clubhouse, the sick look in her eyes when she saw the high heels on the floor and the stricken expression on her face when she saw Ima standing in the bathroom doorway smirking. He had hurt her to the very core of her soul just as he had planned.

As much as he had despised his father for what he thought of as weakness, he wasn't any better. He had been too weak to end his relationship with Tara. He loved her too much to make that final break. He couldn't end things because he needed her. She was the normalizing force in his life. She kept him from becoming his worst self.

He had been selfish. If he had done what was best for her, he would have pushed her away for good. She would still be human, maybe even married and happy, living in some other town raising their boys without him. A happy ending for everyone but him. He had done so much bad shit, maybe he didn't deserve a happy ending.

When he cheated with Colette, he had been angry with Tara for not seeing him after she got arrested for supplying the crucifix that Otto used to kill the nurse. When she found them together, Colette naked and on top of him, he hadn't counted on getting caught. Things with Tara had gotten so bad and he didn't think Tara would find out and a part of him wanted to hurt her for her disastrous plan against Gemma.

Was Tara sleeping with Ryland as payback for his cheating and for abandoning her after she got arrested? He wanted to believe that, but Cas said she had a behavior pattern of spending the night with Ryland. This wasn't the first night she had been with him.

He collapsed on the treadmill. It immediately stopped. Sweat poured from his body and ran down his face.

"Cas can you show me the night sky?"

"What night sky? What country?"

"Charming's night sky."

He had never been indoors for such a long time before. Even in prison, you got some yard time. As he stared up into the simulated night sky, all he could think about was Tara having sex with Ryland.

He had run the anger and jealousy out of him, but what was left behind was worse. Soul crushing despair. He had lost everything in his life. His greatest fear wasn't going to hell; it was losing Tara forever. He'd lost her once. He couldn't lose her again.

Second to finding her dead, the worst moment in his life was that day in the park at the picnic table. When she saw him, he saw terror in her eyes. She believed he was going to kill her. She told him he was a monster. He didn't think he was a monster. He just needed to explain.

Now, he really _was_ a monster. He had killed so many since finding Tara dead on his kitchen floor. He had killed his mother. He wasn't sure why he killed her. Was it retribution for her killing Tara? Or was it for her part in sending him on his terrible course of revenge against the Chinese? Or was it to keep her from destroying his boys? Or was it to keep her from destroying anyone else's life? It wasn't just one reason. It was all of them. He knew the world was a better place without Gemma Teller Morrow. Of that, he had no doubt.

He had to be honest with himself. A big part of his reason for killing Gemma was for SAMCRO. He owed it to the club to put them in the best possible position after all that he had done to drive it down the wrong path.

He saw the irony that the club she'd taught him to value above everything else, played a role in her death. Was her acceptance of her death because she knew he had to do it for the club?

He didn't regret killing her. She was the true monster. She had no insight into her behavior or her actions. At least, he could look at himself in the harsh light of reality and see where he had gone wrong in all the painful detail. He may have been raised to be a monster, but he could change. He would have to change to earn Tara.

Ryland was right that Tara deserved the best, but _he_ could be the best person for her. He just needed to fix himself. He would show Tara he was a new person by handling her sleeping with Ryland in a mature and calm matter. Beyond that, he didn't know what the hell else he was doing.

He dragged himself back to his room, took another shower and got into bed. He was asleep as soon as he told Cas to turn the lights off.

When he woke up, he felt that same resolve he'd had on what he planned to be the last day of his life. Only now, he wasn't ending his life. He was beginning again.

Jax dressed in jeans and a white blue T-shirt and walked into the living area. He found Ryland in the kitchen taking a last swallow of orange juice.

"Enjoy fucking my wife while you can. It won't be for very much longer," Jax said.

He was proud of himself for keeping his voice cool, devoid of the seething anger coursing through his body. He could barely control the desire he had to smash Ryland's face with his fist. With the exception of the crew that raped Gemma, he had never felt such pure hatred for someone.

Ryland put his glass down and turned to face him.

"You need to understand something. You and Tara have children together. It's important they have a good father in their lives. If you become a better person by competing with me for Tara, the kids win. I'm a rival, not an enemy."

"I don't see a difference."

"Grow up a little more."

Jax clenched his fists and fought hard to control himself. Smug, asshole.

"You aren't going to bait me into doing something stupid."

When the MC fought Zobelle, they had to adopt new tactics. They had had to get smarter and fight Zobelle on his terms. He would have to do the same with Ryland. Ryland was used to fighting with words. He could do that too. He just needed to put the image of Tara having sex with Ryland out of his mind or _he_ would go out of is mind.

Tara walked into the living area quickly.

"We have a medical emergency. I checked in with Donna and she's seriously ill. Screen down. Show last picture of Donna," Tara said.

A flat panel screen descended and Donna was shown. There was a numeric display across the bottom showing all her vital signs.

Donna was in bed. She was so pale even her lips were white. There was a blood soaked bandage wrapped around her forearm.

"She called Templeton. She told him she was bleeding heavily from the arm for no reason. He told her it was just the pregnancy. He refused to come over. I talked to him and he's either drunk or high. It's probably just as well that he didn't go see Donna. He's too impaired and he may have made her worse. I called Annie and she's on her way. She should be there in twenty minutes. Until then, I've instructed Opie to keep her awake and talking. Do you know what could be causing this?"

Ryland shook his head.

"No, but let's find out," he said.

He ordered CAS to do a search of all medical data. It turned up nothing.

"We're back to waiting. Once Annie assesses her, we'll come up with a plan. Good call getting Annie to help. I'm revoking Templeton's medical authority. He was on his last chance. He's done."

"Could this kill her?"

"It depends on why she's bleeding and if we can stop it. Annie's one of our best, so we know Donna's in good hands."

"What can I do to help?"

"Nothing. If Annie can't come up with a solution quickly, I'll go to Maine. I want you here to coordinate resources."

"I hope it doesn't come to that. I want Annie to look at her and come up with some easy solution."

Ryland rubbed Tara's arm.

"I want Donna to live too. We'll do absolutely everything possible for her."

"I know," Tara said softly, but worry was still on her face.

Jax observed the tender little moment and didn't like it, but he was learning. He kept his jealousy under control.

When Annie appeared on screen, she looked concerned. She was a large big boned woman with reddish-blonde hair, pale freckles and dark eyes. She said a bunch of medical stuff that Jax didn't understand, but from the expressions on Tara's and Ryland's faces, it wasn't good news.

In between the medical words, Jax understood that Donna's leg was starting to bleed and applying pressure wasn't working. She needed blood or she would stroke out. Annie could take blood from Opie, but it wouldn't be enough. Donna was unconscious and close to death.

Tara suggested putting Opie in a coma, so they could take more blood. Annie agreed.

"Jax, could you stand over there, outside the screen shot. Opie's going through a lot and he doesn't need the drama associated with you right now. I'll explain later."

Jax moved. He didn't know why Opie wouldn't want to see him, but Donna was near death and fixing her was more important than he and Opie talking.

Opie came on screen with Annie.

"We have to get more blood into Donna immediately. The only way we can get enough blood to save Donna is to put you in a coma, Opie. We can safely take more blood from you then by shutting down a lot of your body's functions. It will be a controlled coma and you will be OK when you wake up. You won't suffer any ill effects," Tara said. "It's the only way we can save Donna until we can figure out how to fix her. We'll have more blood for her in about an hour, but Donna doesn't have that kind of time. It's time critical now. That's why we need to take this extreme step."

"Tara, I need you to promise me that if a choice has to be made, you will save Donna. Take all my blood if you need to. I love her. I'll do anything to save her. She's a great mom and our kids need her. Promise me."

"It isn't going to come to that. We'll have three more units to you within an hour."

"Promise me," Opie's voice was insistent.

"I promise."

"We have to go now. I'll update you after I begin the transfusion," Annie said, ending the transmission.

"I want to take your blood with me just in case the drones run into problems. While I make the arrangements, I'll take your blood."

Ryland and Tara went down to the medical unit. Jax tagged along because he wanted to help if he could.

Tara barely had time to sit down before Ryland began drawing her blood.

"You can take mine too. I'm type O," Jax said.

"Hybrids are their own blood type," Tara said. "That's one of the reasons Donna's bleeding is so critical. We can't go to a blood bank."

Tara called down a screen showing dots on a map of the United States. There were a few small dots scattered over the map. Beside it was a list of states and names.

Ryland made several quick calls to arrange the collection and transportation of the blood that was urgently needed.

Jax heard the way Ryland spoke with calm authority. There was no doubt in his mind that Ryland was used to giving orders and being obeyed.

Jax looked up at the map and noticed immediately that in California, under Charming's name, there were three names, Tara's, Hale's and Juice's.

"I'll call Skeeter and send him to see Hale and Juice and then he'll send the blood to Maine."

"Be careful. You are going to be weak," Ryland cautioned her as he finished the blood collection. "I'm going to depend on you to coordinate resources. Either Annie or I will keep you updated."

Tara nodded.

He put his forefinger and middle finger to his lips and lifted his hand. Tara did the same and they touched fingers. He remembered Tara telling him it wasn't an alien way to say goodbye, it was how they said goodbye. It hit him like a punch to the gut; Tara had feelings for this guy.

It hurt enough to think of them having sex. He didn't think he could bear it if she were also in love with him. At least when he cheated, he didn't cheat _emotionally_.

Ryland left them.

"So, how is he going to get to Maine? He has his own plane?"

"Spaceship complete with a mobile operating room and pharmacy. Annie has a smaller version. All space ships use stealth tech that keeps it hidden visually using technology similar to the way the garage stays hidden when the door is open. It also has equipment on board that keeps it invisible to any surveillance or radar detection. He'll be there in less than two hours."

Tara called Skeeter and Hale and explained the situation and what she needed from them.

Jax saw something new. He saw a closeness Tara had with Skeeter and Hale. Almost like a family or a team.

"Juice?"

"I have to call his parents and then I'll explain."

Jax thought he had lost the capacity for surprise, but he was surprised. Juice was now, not only alive, but he had a family.

Tara spoke quickly telling them about Donna being seriously ill and they desperately needed blood. She gave them an estimated time for Skeeter's arrival.

"What if he doesn't want to do it?" Jax asked as soon as she finished the call.

"Why wouldn't he want to help? He could save her life."

"So what's the story with Juice?

"Let's go upstairs, I need to eat. There's no reason to stay down here."

As they walked into the elevator, Tara began to collapse. Jax caught her and swung her into his arms. He carried her into the elevator. She regained consciousness before they reached the second floor.

"You can put me down now. I feel OK."

"I'm not putting you down on the ground. If you pass out and hit your head, I don't know what to do. I'll put you on the sofa and get you some juice."

Tara opened her mouth, but she passed out before she could say anything. She regained consciousness after he laid her on the couch.

He went into the kitchen, filled a large glass with orange and brought it to her.

"That was stupid," she said pushing herself into an upright seating position. I should have known I'd pass out. I'm still a little weak from stopping time."

"You need to order breakfast. Get some food into you."

They both placed an order in for omelets and bacon.

Jax thought Tara looked fragile and he worried that the fainting might have another reason.

"How are you feeling?"

"I just need food."

After they ate breakfast, Jax thought Tara looked stronger and some color had come back into her face.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm good now. Thanks for catching me. I don't mind passing out, I just don't like it when I fall straight back and smack my head."

"Are you sure, you don't have some kind of sickness?"

"Yes. It's just when I stop time. It takes a bit of a physical toll for a few days and I gave blood, so it's sort of doubling the effect."

"You were going to tell me about Juice," Jax prodded. Now that Tara was OK, he had a lot of questions.

"First, I didn't want Juice to see me on screen because one of the last times I saw Juice, I drove over his bike. I'd just seen Colette riding you like a jockey and I enjoyed running over Juice's bike. I also thought it better if he didn't see someone from his past yet."

"So what happened with Juice?" Jax asked. He wasn't getting anywhere near the subject of Colette. That would end badly for him.

"Juice's mother lived in Charming with her strict mother. When she got pregnant, her mother kicked her out of the house. She and the baby's father left Charming for New York. She was one of the last women to receive a Paralorn embryo. His father left his mother when he was a baby. He died from a drug overdose when Juice was two. His mother was an accidental kill in a drive by shooting when he was nineteen. He decided to try to find his grandmother. He hoped that she would be glad to see him. She died a few months before he got to Charming.

"The Paralorn parents who have potential children—the name given to humans who haven't become hybrids—monitor their potential children's lives. When he was killed in the prison riot, everything was in place. He was whisked away just like Opie, but unlike Opie, Juice had Paralorn parents on Earth.

"Ryland, Juice's parents and a couple of security officers got Juice and brought him to a secluded house just outside Charming. That's where all the hybrids are brought to go through a transition process."

"Were you brought there?"

Tara shook her head. "I was an exception because I'm the king and queen's child, so I was brought here. Only Ryland and Meg were here.

"Juice was traumatized by everything that happened to him, but he's getting better and having his alien parents as part of his new life is helping him."

"You know I put out a kill order on him. I didn't have a choice. I had to do it for his part in the Chinese lie."

"I know, but you put him through hell taking full advantage of him and his desire to get back into the club."

"I should have just killed him when I found out he was Lincoln Potter's present day RICO source. That whole RICO thing was a disaster. I don't know why the hell, I didn't try to find the present day RICO source first. Think of how different our lives would be. RICO would have been broken, you wouldn't have gotten arrested and we would have left Charming to begin new lives with our boys."

"I've learned not to dwell on what might have been and focus on the present. It makes life a lot easier."

"What's going on with Opie? Why don't you want me to talk to him?"

Tara looked down and bit her lip.

"Opie doesn't know a lot about what was going on with SAMCRO since he died. He was focused on fixing things with Donna. He had the whole Lyla issue to work out with her. She wasn't mad at him for remarrying. She was just mad that he waited thirty seconds. That took some work getting past that.

"When Donna was alive, I thought she should have embraced the club because it would make Opie's life easier. I knew she wanted him out of the club, but I thought she should have understood Opie's love for the club and been more supportive.

"I was such an idiot. She was absolutely right about getting Opie out of the club. We've become really close since I've been back. She didn't want Opie to hear about SAMCRO, so when I talk to him I don't mention SAMCRO or you unless he brings it up. He knows the news stuff about you, but he doesn't know much beyond that. He knows you killed Gemma, but he doesn't know why. He doesn't think there could be any good reason to kill Gemma. You have to remember, Opie remembers her as a mother figure and he didn't see how much Gemma changed once she and Clay split. I think with time, you and Opie can find your way back to being friends. Now it's just too much with Donna being so sick."

"I didn't recognize Donna. Has her appearance changed?"

"No, she looks the same. I hate puzzles. I should be able to figure it out. We shouldn't look different to you."

"Maybe it's just me. Didn't you say there aren't many hybrids? Maybe I'm a small percentage of something you haven't seen before."

The screen came down and Annie appeared on the screen.

"Ryland and Tara, I wanted you to know that Donna is still bleeding. Her arm has quit, but now she's bleeding from the leg and her neck. Opie is in a coma and he is fine. I think we're going to need as much blood as we can get. I've tried pumping her full of clotting agents, but there hasn't been any change. I can't find any source of bleeding. None of the tests I've run have shown any abnormality."

"I'll contact the rest of the hybrids and get the blood headed your way. Do you think I need to contact sources outside this country?" Tara asked.

"No, I think if it gets to that point, we'll lose her."

Tara sucked in her breath sharply.

"Thanks, Annie. I'll get the rest of the blood to you with ETAs."

The screen went dark.

Within ten minutes, Tara made arrangements for six more units of blood to be sent to Maine. She sent a message to Annie and Ryland letting them know when the blood should arrive.

With Donna's unexpected critical illness, the day's rhythm had been thrown off. All they could do was wait for Donna's body to either fight off what was wrong with her or Annie and Ryland had to solve her medical problem and save her.

Jax paced the living area. He didn't think he could stand being cooped up much longer.

"Can't we go outside for a few minutes?" Jax asked.

Tara was sitting on the sofa with her feet under her.

"I can't do that. It's unlikely that you would be seen, but this is the highest level safe house for Meg. I had to really plead with her to let me bring you here. I promised I wouldn't let you go outside once we got here."

"I know you're sleeping with Ryland," Jax said, hoping to catch her off guard.

"Did he tell you that?"

"No. I figured it out. We're still married. You didn't stay dead. The death part of the wedding vows means the marriage only ends when the people stay dead."

Tara was on her feet in a flash. Her eyes were bright with anger.

"You really want to know about my relationship with Ry?"

Jax realized that he _really_ didn't want to know because any answer she gave him would be painful, but there was no time like the present for more misery and heartache.

"I do," he said. The irony of the words he'd said to Tara when they got married wasn't lost on him.

"I love him."

Jax flinched. He hadn't expected her to be so direct.

"Now I know why you can't tell me you love me and now I know why you won't sleep with me."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "You don't. My not sleeping with you has nothing to do with Ryland. I'm not sleeping with you because I don't want to."

Jax definitely did not like alien Tara some of the time. She could be vicious.

"He's better in bed? Is that the reason?"

"It's you," Tara said. She went over to Jax and poked his chest with her finger. "It's you."

Jax shook his head.

"If that's true, then why the hell did you save my life? Why didn't you just let me die?"

"I think somewhere inside is a person who deserves to live and will do great things in this world if given a chance."

"That's bullshit, Tara." He grabbed her upper arms and shook her slightly. "Why did you really save me?"

"You were my first love, my first kiss, my first everything. You were so kind and good to me when we first got together. You know me better than anyone. I still want you in my life."

"As what? A platonic friend? I can't be your friend. We are either truly together as a married couple or we're apart. There's no middle ground for me."

Tara pulled free of his grip and took a step back from him.

"I've learned a lot from Ryland. He's given me back my confidence. When I came back to life, it was hard for me. I lost you and the kids. I didn't have much to live for. He was so kind and comforting. It's nice to have a drama free relationship. I feel good when I'm with him."

"Don't you think some of that happened because he was the only guy here and you were vulnerable? You are the king and queen's daughter, I'm sure it would help his career if the two of you are together."

"So, I'm such a loser he's only with me because I'm the king and queen's daughter? He can't just love me because of who I am as a person?"

"That's not what I'm saying. You were in a fragile, vulnerable state and he took advantage."

"You don't know that. The truth is he's been great to me. It's so warm and comfortable and he's so understanding. He knows that you and I have to get a plan together for our kids. He knows that there's a possibility that I could go back to you. He's told me to do whatever I needed to do to figure things out including sleeping with you."

"You told me you loved him, what's there left to discuss?"

"I love him. That's different from being in love. I love being with him and I love the stability. He's really a great guy and we have so much in common. I'm just not in love with him."

"What does that mean?"

"It means, he's cozy and warm like a hot shower on a cold day. It's so easy with him and we work really well together. A future with him would be happy and comfortable."

"What about me?"

"Loving you was so easy in high school. Even when I came back, it was easy. I got over you cheating with Ima. Colette is a different matter. Instead of screwing a whore, we should have been working together on our relationship."

"Tara, I don't know what the hell you expect me to do," Jax said angrily. "I can't unscrew Colette and you can't unfuck Ryland. I should have been supportive when you got arrested. I can't undo the mistakes I've made. Can you look at me and honestly tell me that you feel nothing for me? You don't feel even a trace of the love you used to feel for me?"

He touched her cheek lightly with his fingers.

"There's a trace," Tara said. Her eyes filled with tears. "I don't know if I can take the roller coaster of emotions with you. It's so comfortable with Ryland. He's a really good person. I'm happy with him. He loves me."

"I love you. We can be happy together. We can make a new life free of the mistakes of the past. Tara, I swear to you that I will never cheat on you again."

Tara blinked and brushed the tears from her eyes.

"I can't decide now. There's no need. We have time."

"It kills me to know you are sleeping with Ryland."

"I'm not doing it for revenge. He makes me feel good."

"I can make you feel good too."

"I remember. Jax, I'm just not ready to make any decisions about our future together now. You need to accept that just as I accept that it's going to take you some time to make a plan for your life."

"I've come to accept that the only way I can have a good future is to do the alien death thing. It will be a rebirth. A chance to be the kind of man you deserve."

"I can't promise we'll get back together."

"I know, but this is the only choice I have if I don't want to end up in prison or spend my life on the run. I want to have a life and be a father to our kids."

This death and rebirth would give him a clean slate. He could make his life his own. He would be free of his Gemma's poison and SAMCRO. That was enough for now.

"Can you do it now? Up here, not in the medical room."

"I can do it anywhere. The sofa can change to a large bed. I can keep an eye on you while I do whatever I need to do for Annie and Ryland."

"How long will it take?"

"It depends on how you die and how much damage the alien part needs to repair. I'll use a drug overdose. It's an easy death. You should be back to life in four to eight hours. It will take you several days to fully regain your strength, but you'll feel good."

"Is there anything I need to do?"

"No. I'll go down and get the drugs."

Tara returned with a small bag and a thin white blanket and two pillows.

"Cas make the sofa a large bed."

Silently, the sofa expanded from the sides making it into a queen sized bed. Tara put the pillows on it.

Jax stared at the newly converted bed. He didn't know why, but this was harder to do than aiming his bike into that big rig.

Tara looped a length of rubber around his arm.

"Get into bed and I'll do the injection from there."

"Lay down with me."

"I planned on it."

He gently drew her into his arms and kissed her, trying to show her how much he loved her in his kiss.

"It's time," Tara said softly.

Jax laid down and covered himself with the blanket.

Tara, kids, future. He repeated the words over and over in his head. He shut his eyes as he felt Tara scoot in next to him. He turned his body into hers and draped his arm around her waist.

"It's going to be OK," Tara whispered.

"I know," Jax said.

Tara lifted his hand from around her waist and kissed it. He felt the sting of the needle and then, everything went dark.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE I want to say a special thanks to HunterT for messaging me and asking me to bring Juice back to life and give him redemption. I hesitated because I didn't really like Juice, but as I thought about it for a couple of days, I came up with a way to bring him back, give him a storyline and make my story better. That's the best part of fan fic when readers help improve a story. Thanks to HunterT, I'm writing a better story.**

 **Next Up** _ **What do you mean you forgot?**_

Donna fights for life.

Jax discovers what Tara forgot to tell him about his rebirth and it's a shocking surprise. And not in a good way.

 **Next Up for Me**

 **I will probably post another chapter to Tara's Story next week since I don't think I'm making many changes.**

 _ **AND AS ALWAYS. PLEASE REVIEW.**_

M.


	11. Chapter 11

14

 **JAX IS REALLY ALIVE**

 **Chapter 10 Recap**

Jax knocks on Tara's door and when she doesn't answer, he asks Cas for Tara's location. Cas tells Jax she's in Ryland's room and she normally spends the night hours there. Instead of becoming angry and pounding on Ryland's door, Jax goes down to the gym and runs on the treadmill until he collapses.

The next morning, Jax tells Ryland that he intends to win Tara back. Ryland tells that he's a rival, not an enemy.

Tara tells Ryland that she's talked to Donna and she's seriously ill with mysterious bleeding. He arranges for blood to get to Donna and he leaves to help save Donna.

Jax comes to terms with bringing out the alien side. He knows it's the only way he can have a life free from being hunted by law enforcement and SAMCRO.

Tara prepares a lethal injection and lays down with him while he dies.

 **FOR READERS WHO HAVEN'T READ JAX IS REALLY ALIVE WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW and it's not** _ **that**_ **much.**

Charming has been the site of medical experiments by an alien race. When women were pregnant, they also got another embryo implanted in them. Only a single baby was born. When one died, the baby came back to life as an alien/human hybrid. Being a hybrid gives them more physical strength and a longer life span. Humans detect the alien, but their brains are tricked into thinking the hybrid looks a lot like the person, but it isn't the person. Gemma and Tara's mother were both implanted with embryos.

Jax agrees to the conversion process because it's the only way he can have a life free from being hunted by law enforcement and SAMCRO.

Ryland is an alien doctor who took care of Tara when she returned to life. He's provided support and comfort to her. She's told Jax that she loves Ryland, but isn't in love with him and, at this point in her life, living a drama free life has great appeal to her.

There is also a computer that runs the retreat where Tara brought Jax. Her name is Cas and she speaks with Tara's voice.

Jax is just waking up from death.

 **Chapter 11 What Do You Mean You Forgot?**

Jax woke with a start. He looked around. The room was just as he remembered it. Tara was sleeping on her side facing him. She looked exactly as she always looked. She didn't look like the Tara that had stopped time and saved him from plowing into the big rig on his bike. Now that he had the real Tara back, everything would work out.

Other than feeling a little more energetic, he didn't feel any different. Maybe the alien conversion hadn't worked on him and he was still all human. He was disappointed. He wanted the conversion to work so he could return to life without being hunted.

Tara sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Just a few minutes. I don't feel any different. Maybe the conversion didn't work."

"If the conversion hadn't worked, you would still be dead. I know you were dead. The conversion took almost fourteen hours. It's never taken that long before. I called Ryland for help, but there wasn't anything to do. Your body had to heal itself."

"What happened with you? When you died? Did you go somewhere?"

Tara laid back down, head on the pillow. She stared at the ceiling remembering.

"Gemma had this crazed look in her eyes when she attacked me. I tried to fight her off, but she was so strong. Everything went black and then the next thing I knew, I was in this light. It wasn't a tunnel. I don't think I saw walls or windows. There was a guy there, but I didn't see him. He talked to me in my head. Telepathy. That's how I talked to him too. He asked me to tell him the biggest influence in my life. I talked about you beginning with when I moved to Charming and ending with my murder."

"Where do you think you were?"

"You mean was I in Heaven or Hell?" Tara frowned. "I don't think it was a bad place. I don't know if I had a body. I don't remember moving my legs or my arms. I wasn't blind because I could see the whiteness of the place where I was. As I was telling him my life, I knew things that I didn't know before and I could remember details I thought I'd forgotten."

"What happened when you came back?"

"I was telling him about my death and then I felt this yanking sensation and I woke up downstairs in the medical unit. As I was being pulled away, the guy told me that I would be back and it was OK for me to go."

"Who do you think the guy was?"

"I don't know, but there was this great kindness in him. As I told him about my life, I saw things more clearly. I had this great sense of peace and renewal when I came back. That was until I saw what was happening with you and our boys."

"Ryland made a point of telling me about your reactions to some of my more violent actions."

"I need a drink. You want a beer?"

"Yeah, I've got to admit the Paralorns have great taste in beer."

Tara got up, grabbed and opened two bottles of beer from the refrigerator and handed one to Jax before she returned to sit on the couch that was still made into a bed.

"What happened to you?"

"I fell asleep. Just as I drifted off, I thought about what if I went to Hell for all the bad shit I've done."

"Didn't you think about that before attempting to plow your bike into a truck?"

Jax flashed her a rueful grin.

"I wasn't thinking all that straight then and I didn't have a choice."

"Where did you go?" Tara prompted before taking a long pull from her beer bottle.

"It was the same as you. I fell asleep and then suddenly I was in this bright white place. I thought if you went anywhere after death, I'd go to Hell for sure, but this place didn't look like Hell. I got that peaceful feeling," Jax paused and finished his beer.

Tara got up, took their beer bottles out to the kitchen and disposed of them. She grabbed two more bottles and opened them.

"I will instruct the robots to make more beer tonight," Cas said.

"She always sounds so important when she says she instructs robots," Tara whispered to Jax as she handed him a new bottle of beer.

"My job is important," Cas said. "I instruct robots."

They both laughed.

"I've seen TV shows, ironically while I was in prison, about near death experiences. When people go to Hell, they describe torment and people screaming. This wasn't like that. It was like you described. White light all around. There was a guy there too only I didn't see him either and he used telepathy. I don't know how the hell I ended up in the same place as you."

"You recognized your mistakes. I heard what you said to Nero in the TM office about being a bad guy, killer and a criminal and you didn't want your boys to grow up like you. You recognized your wrongs and you tried to right as many of them as you could. That has to count for something."

"I don't know. Maybe we were in the sorting room. I had the same experience you did. I knew things I hadn't known at the time and I recalled details that I thought I'd forgotten."

"What did you talk about? SAMCRO?"

"Yeah, it was all about SAMCRO. I'm not blaming them. I was the one that joined them. I was the one who did the bad shit."

"You were brought up in that culture. Your father was a founding member. It would have been difficult for you to have managed to stay clear of the MC especially with Gemma telling you that you were supposed to be the president and follow in your father's footsteps."

"That's true, but I had a choice. It wasn't until you told me that SAMCRO was the link to every bad thing that had happened to me, that I came to that realization."

Jax finished his beer, grabbed Tara's empty bottle and got rid of them in the kitchen.

"You want another?"

"No, I'm good."

"I'm having another. It's not every day that you die."

Tara laid down on the bed, propping up head with her arm.

"Do I look like Tara now? Or do I still look off?"

Jax sat on the other side of the bed and watched Tara for a moment.

"You are Tara. The real one."

"My appearance hasn't change."

"It doesn't matter. You look like Tara to me now."

"It still doesn't make sense to me. Maybe it's a rare thing and that's why there's no record of it ever happening to someone before. I hate mysteries."

"You felt like Tara, you just didn't look like her."

"So, what happened when you discussed SAMCRO?"

"In the outlaw world, there's this assumed risk. You could die or get hurt. That's the price you may have to pay when you are in that world. What I didn't think too much about were the innocents down the line that got hurt. I didn't think about the kids who lost fathers. Maybe if I had I thought about death beyond the person I killed, I would have realized the outlaw life was wrong."

Jax shook his head and looked down at the couch/bed. He knew he had to tell Tara this next part, but he was afraid of how vulnerable and emotionally raw it would leave him. He finished his beer. He had put it off as long as possible and he had to tell her.

"When I was talking about the events—about you getting arrested, how you didn't want me to visit you—that whole drama—I had to admit that . . . " Jax broke off. He stared at the couch

"I had to admit that I didn't take your arrest seriously. Even when Loen told me it could be bad for you, I didn't believe it. I thought you were overreacting. I thought you would get a deal to reduce the charge to a misdemeanor and you would get probation. I always tried to protect you from the harsh part of MC life. This time I didn't. Part of it was I was angry that you wouldn't see me when you were in jail, part of it was I thought you were overreacting and part of it was not wanting to take responsibility for what I had done to you. You were in that prison with Otto because you were trying to help me and the club break RICO. The blame of that weighed on me. Maybe that was why I didn't want to believe how serious the charges were against you. I could face what I had done to you and your career.

"I felt the pain you felt when you got arrested. I felt your humiliation. I felt your desperation. It may have been all bright lights and his calm, kind voice in my head, but I was in Hell.

"Even the past times I hurt you, I felt. When I had sex with Ima after Abel was kidnapped, I knew the best thing for you was to be out of my life, for you to get the hell out of Charming and never come back. I was trying to get you to break up with me because I would never have had the strength. That was the only way the break up would stick. I needed you to do it and leave town."

Tara studied Jax's face. She knew that face well, but now he almost seemed like a stranger. She had seen emotion on Jax's face, just not like this.

"I have no excuse for Colette. I felt like I was in a graveyard spiral of stupid behavior and I couldn't figure out how to get out. I focused on SAMCRO because it was familiar territory. It was what I knew. It was the one thing I felt competent at."

"I don't get why you suddenly had to screw a whore. I told you that cheating was a deal breaker for me."

Jax's jaw tightened and he looked down at the couch again because he couldn't stand to see the pain in her eyes.

"I think on some level, I wanted you to break up with me. I wanted you to divorce me. In the deep recesses of my mind, I knew you were better off without me. You think I loved SAMCRO more than you, that I would pick SAMCRO over you," Jax paused. He shut his eyes because he couldn't stand to see her face.

"That was true until the kids, until I did the prison stretch. I wanted to leave and have a life as a family. When everything went down with Clay, I wanted to stay. Deep down, I wasn't sure I wanted to leave the MC. I wanted to lead SAMCRO in a better less outlaw direction. If I had really wanted to break RICO, I would have worked on finding Lincoln Potter's present day source. It would have taken me about thirty seconds to figure out it was Juice. I wanted to have it all—a wife, a family and an MC. And because I am Jax fucking Teller, I thought I could have it all," Jax's voice was filled with self-loathing. He opened his eyes, but he still couldn't look at Tara.

"Since we've been here in Meg's bunker, every time you bring up cheating, or how you felt I abandoned you I've sort of tuned you out. I didn't want to hear it. Hey, I can't do anything about the past, let's just move on. I've apologized. When I was talking to that guy, he made me understand that you can't move past it because you know that I don't get it. I didn't understand what I put you through. That's why you couldn't put it behind you. That's why you keep bringing it up to me. You knew I didn't get it."

Jax shut his eyes again. He had to tell her this next part and it was going to be agonizing.

"He made me feel what you felt. I felt what it was like to be abandoned. I felt how you felt when you discovered me with Colette. I felt your desperation to get our kids to safety." Jax shook his head and put his hands over his face. "I felt your terror when you saw me at the park." He dropped his hands from his face. "I felt your fear that Gemma would destroy our boys. That kind, gentle voice made me tell him my darkest secrets and he made me feel all the pain I caused you. I get it now. I know I hurt you and I know how you felt. It wasn't just me guessing how you felt. He made me feel all your actual emotions.

"I understand why you are having such a tough time moving past all this. You needed to know that I finally I get it. Now that I've felt what I put you through, I swear to you, I will never abandon you again. I will never cheat on you again. I am going to be the kind of husband you deserve. And I am completely done with SAMCRO."

"I don't know what to say."

"What you mean is you aren't sure I'm going to change and I've got to prove it to you over time."

"And even if you do, I'm not sure I want to get back together with you."

Jax nodded. "That's fair. Just give me a chance."

"I can do that," she said softly.

Jax stretched out on the couch bed on his stomach.

"There was just one last thing," he said. He scooted over to her and touched her cheek gently with his finger tips. "That feeling of being reborn extends to you. I feel like I did back when we first got together. I am falling in love with you all over again."

"Jax," she whispered. "I'm not sure how I feel."

"It's OK. I won your heart once, I'll do it again," Jax said. The confident Jax Teller was back.

He brushed her cheek lightly with his fingertips.

"Remember when we first got together how much time we spent just kissing?"

"I remember."

He gathered her into his arms and kissed her softly and tenderly the way he used to when they first crossed from friends to more.

"We have a chance," Tara whispered.

"Ryland is five minutes away," Cas announced.

Tara pulled away from Jax.

"Don't want him to see us kiss?" Jax asked.

"He doesn't need any tutorials. He isn't jealous and he is OK with whatever I need to do to decide what I want to do about my romantic future. He just doesn't need to see us kiss."

Tara grabbed the pillows and the blanket and put them away and instructed Cas to change the bed back to a couch.

Ryland walked in, looking tired. He had dark shadows under his eyes, but his face lit up when he saw Tara.

Jax noticed the way Ryland looked at Tara, visually checking her over to make sure she was OK. He may not like Ryland, but the man definitely had love for Tara. He could count on him to watch out for her.

Ryland hugged Tara and smiled at her.

"You helped us save Donna. The blood you got from Canada made a big difference."

"The hybrids in Canada were great. They didn't even hesitate when I asked them to donate more blood by being put into comas."

"I'm glad you didn't listen when I told you I didn't think we needed more blood.

"I never listen to men," Tara grinned. "Just ask Jax."

"It's good to see you're alive again," Ryland said to Jax. "You had Tara worried."

"Tara told me no one's ever been dead as long."

"There's always a first time. We just don't have enough hybrids to come up with more than generalizations."

"Did Donna lose the baby?"

Ryland nodded.

"Once she lost the baby, the mysterious bleeding quit. Annie's got a lot of samples to run tests on. We don't know why she started bleeding. Two hybrids have never had a child together. We think the body recognized there were problems with the fetus and it was trying to remove the fetus, only it didn't know how. It triggered bleeding in different areas trying to get the fetus out. When it finally figured out where it needed to bleed to expel the fetus, it ended all the other bleeding."

"From a medical perspective, you would think the body would know how to remove a fetus with development problems, but with hybrids and this being the first time a pregnancy has been attempted with two hybrids, it could be possible," Tara said.

"Donna and Opie are determined to have another child if it's safe. When she's ready to try again, we'll use IVF, so we can screen out any defective embryos."

"Do you think it's possible that two hybrids can't have a child? Two Paralorns can't have a child," Tara said.

"That's what we're afraid of. When the Paralorns miscarried, it didn't begin with bleeding in other areas of the body. That gives us hope that Donna will be able to carry a baby to term."

"Is Opie out of his coma?" Jax asked.

"He was just waking up when I left."

"I'm going to grab some sleep," Ryland said.

"Now, that you've changed, you can go outside. You want to go on a walk? The sunrises are spectacular here." Tara said, turning to face Jax.

"It will be good to get outside."

Jax grabbed a dark blue hoodie from his closet. Tara pulled on a red jacket and they left.

Tara had a flashlight and she led the way through pine trees until she came to an outcrop of rocks with a sliver of a view of a lake.

"It's nice here," Tara said and sat down on a large rock.

"At least I don't feel like a prisoner anymore."

"What happened before you woke up? Did you have that same feeling I did that you were being yanked away from that place?"

Jax nodded.

"Yes. I had just told him about heading my bike into the truck."

"I think that's what determines how long someone is dead. I think whatever it is we say, we can't go into this hybrid life until we've finished telling our story. Once you reach the end, that triggers waking up. We used to think that it varied by the severity of the injury, but I was reading over reports while I was waiting for you to wake up and I think that's the link."

"I guess that makes sense."

"Remember you told me you would never cheat on me again."

"Of course."

"Did you mean it?"

"Yes. I felt how it made you feel. I don't want you to feel that way again. I don't ever want to hurt you again."

Tara looked down at her hands. She studied the sun beginning to paint the horizon in reds and oranges.

"What is it? You can tell me," Jax said.

"I kind of forgot to tell you something about when you change."

"Something to tell me?"

"Yeah. I mean, it may be the sample size is too small or there's some other underlying reason we haven't discovered."

"Just tell me."

"Well, it appears that hybrids can't have sex with anyone except other hybrids or a Paralorn."

"What about human women?" Jax asked. He couldn't believe what he thought he heard her say.

"No."

"The parts still fit."

"The parts still fit, but it's an equipment failure issue. No hybrid has ever been able to get an erection with a human. Dolls and porn, but no actual human to hybrid contact."

"Come on, Tara. This is a joke, right. Right? Tara?"

 **NEXT UP Just the Facts Jax**


	12. Chapter 12

12

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 11 Recap**

Jax goes through the conversion process and becomes an alien hybrid like Tara. While he was dead, he was somewhere with bright white light and a man was talking to him through telepathy. That gentle voice made Jax tell him his darkest secrets and he made Jax feel every scrap of pain he caused Tara to feel due to his behavior. For the first time, Jax gets it. He feels her pain. He knows how much his cheating hurt her and how his abandonment when she was arrested for murder caused her make a crazy plan trying to save their boys from Gemma.

Jax tells her that he didn't understand how deeply he had hurt her. He wants another chance. Tara tells him they might have a chance, but she makes no promises to him.

Ryland returns to the retreat and shares the news that Donna lost the baby she and Opie were expecting. Despite coming close to death, Donna and Opie want to try again to have a baby if it's safe.

For the first time, Jax is allowed outside the retreat since he can no longer be recognized by humans as Jax Teller. Tara has forgotten to tell Jax one crucial piece of information. Hybrid males can't have sex with humans. Jax is hoping that Tara is joking.

 **Chapter 12 Bitch Slapped By Reality**

Tara left Jax so he could have some time to come to terms with what she told him. She left the flashlight and told him if he got lost, all he needed to do was wave his arms and shout "Cas" and Cas would send a beam of white light and a siren sound to guide him back to the retreat. This became necessary because the first time she went for a walk, she'd gotten so lost, it took Ryland two hours to find her.

Jax sat on the rock and watched as darkness fell. He was struck by the quiet. No traffic sounds and no sirens. In Charming, from the time he was a child, every time he heard a siren he wondered if someone from the MC were dead or injured.

Back then, some of the guys were trying to invent a game that could be played on motorcycles the way polo is played on horses. They finally came up with a variation of paintball played on motorcycles, but there were too many accidents. It did help the Sons with their marksmanship though.

He was avoiding thinking about what Tara told him—that he could never have sex with a human again. He would stay faithful to Tara. That was a choice that came from his love for her. He just didn't like feeling that it was forced on him.

He wasn't sure if Tara really forgot to tell him or if she deliberately failed to tell him so he would have the conversion. It didn't matter. He had to have the conversion or he would spend the rest of his life being hunted. That was no kind of life.

What if Tara died or was killed? What was he going to do about sex then? Going without wasn't an option. Jax Teller could not go without sex. The world would come to an end. Already, he was feeling all kinds of tension that he needed relieved.

He shook his head and laughed at himself. He was pathetic. A lot of his behavior had been fueled by sex. Worse, he never saw the women he was with as people. He never thought about how they felt when he discarded them and went on to the next. To him, they were just stand-ins for Tara to be used and forgotten.

They saw him as this prize. He was Jax Teller, MC stud and badass. That's who they wanted and that's who they got. Just as he wasn't interested in knowing them, they really weren't interested in knowing him.

Now, since he'd had the alien conversion, he didn't know who the hell he was anymore. His identity had been so tied up with the MC. Who the hell was Jax Teller? It suddenly hit him; he wasn't Jax Teller anymore. He had surrendered his identity when he had the conversion.

Tara warned him that after the conversion process, he might look back on his life with a different attitude. He didn't really understand what she meant, he was still thinking about never being able to have sex with a human again. He was now beginning to understand what she meant. He was looking at his life through new eyes.

He didn't want to think about who he was going to be or what he was going to do with his life. At least not yet. In the near future, he needed to get back together with Tara. Everything else would fall into place.

He hadn't planned on falling in love with Tara back in high school. He remembered back to the day she was assigned as his lab partner. She had been so annoyed when he asked her if she were smart. She had been amazing when she killed and cut up the frog. All the other girls were screaming or leaving the room. Not Tara. She was so skilled the way she made neat precise cuts. He got his first ever "A" on a lab thanks to her.

When he saw her walking around later that day after school, he stopped and talked to her. As she told him about her aunt's death and her father leaving her alone, he had felt this desire to fix her. He wanted to take care of her. She had taken care of him during the lab. (This is Jax's side to Chapter 1 of Tara's Story)

He kept picturing her being alone in that house dealing with the death of the only person in the world that she loved. He felt this overpowering need to be with her and make sure she was OK. It wasn't a choice; he felt he had to be with her. That had been the most amazing weekend.

He enjoyed being with her. It was a new experience for him. Until Tara, he thought of girls as recreation. She was the first and only girl he enjoyed spending time with just talking.

Tara was the reason he was close to drug free when she left town. She didn't want to mess up her brain with drugs and he followed her example. Once she left town, he tried to drown himself with weed and pussy—anything to blunt the harshness of a reality without her. It took some of the edge off, but the pain was always there haunting him.

If he had been stronger, if he hadn't loved the MC so much, he would have left town with Tara, but she was right. He had loved SAMCRO more. That was all in the past. His eyes were open now and he saw the world as it was and not his mother's twisted version.

She never wanted him to have one girlfriend. She encouraged to date as many girls as possible. His popularity with girls reflected well on her. She just didn't want him to date one girl exclusively. He thought she was jealous, that she had this strange obsession with him. He had told himself that he was a terrible son to have such thoughts. Now, it was all so much clearer. Gemma wanted to be the only woman he loved. It was sick and twisted, but it was the truth.

She had been right there, encouraging him to soothe his heartbreak with weed and croweaters. It wasn't until he and Tara got back together did the pain finally go away. Even then, he still loved SAMCRO more.

Gemma had drilled into his head that the MC was his birthright and his destiny and that was more important than any woman. It was his father's legacy, it was his legacy and someday she thought it would be Abel's.

He remembered reading Macbeth in high school and the teacher talked about how she was this great villain. Lady Macbeth wasn't a great villain. She had felt remorse and guilt—emotions his mother never felt.

He shoved all thoughts of his mother out of his mind. He learned the only way to stay sane was to compartmentalize things and he wasn't ready to think about Gemma anymore tonight. That was all in the past.

When he returned inside, he found Tara sitting on the couch working on a laptop.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

"Adjusting," he said.

"I need to help Ry with some medical research, but I need to talk to you first. Have you looked in the desk in your room?"

He shook his head and took a seat at the counter.

Tara got up and grabbed them each a beer from the fridge. She sat down next to him.

"Why do I get the feeling you are going to give me bad news?"

Tara looked at him and he could see the concern on her face.

"It's not bad news. It's just info."

"I hope it's not going to top the 'I can't have sex with humans anymore you delivered earlier'."

He looked into her eyes and really saw her. She had always treated him with kindness. She thought of others. His heart recognized that she was the only woman for him. She was the only woman he would ever love.

"What?" she asked.

"I feel like I'm seeing you for who you are. I don't know why I feel that way now."

Tara brushed his cheek with her fingertips and smiled.

"It's the conversion. Your emotions need a little time to settle down."

"So, break the news to me, doc."

"In my father's—my house, I had a copy of your father's manuscript. It's here now in the desk in your room."

"I don't want it."

Tara nodded and bit her lip.

"OK, don't get mad, but one night about a week and a half before you tried to drive your motorcycle into a big rig, I stopped time. Skeeter, Angela and I went into your house."

"Who the hell is Angela?"

"Skeeter's girlfriend. She's a full-born came over on the spaceship alien. She realized she was in love with him when they were doing karaoke at Romano's pizza place. He sang the Rolling Stones' song 'Angie'. They're getting married."

"You are killing me with suspense. Just say it."

"We copied all the things that you had written."

"Everything?"

Tara nodded.

"Why?" Jax said. His voice was even and controlled, surprising even himself.

"I needed to know what was going on with you. With the tech they have to copy the stuff, it only took a few minutes. All we had to do was . . ."

"Just tell me."

"When Skeeter reached into the drawer of your father's old desk where you kept all of your writings, he noticed something about the drawer that seemed odd. He discovered it had a false bottom kind of like the one in your kitchen. I couldn't stop time longer, so we grabbed the stuff and brought it here."

Jax downed his beer.

Tara got up and went to the refrigerator. She got a glass, added ice and poured in an indigo colored liquid from a pitcher.

She put it in front of him.

"This tastes great and it will take a lot of the edge off. I'd join you, but I have to help in the medical unit."

Jax took several sips.

"I probably should have had this before you told me about not being able to have sex with humans anymore."

"That would have been a better plan."

Jax took several sips of the drink.

"There was a long envelope in the drawer. It contained divorce papers. They were dated the day before your father's death. He had signed them, but I don't think Rosen had time to file them."

"Do you think Gemma knew?"

Tara shrugged. "I have no idea."

"What else?"

"There was a sealed envelope that was addressed to Maureen Ashby. It was sealed with postage, all he needed to do was mail it. I opened it. The letter had a copy of the divorce papers. He told her that he was divorcing Gemma and he wanted them to be together. He said they could raise you and Trinity together as a real family. He thought that in less than a year he would have everything all worked out."

"It doesn't surprise me that he would prefer Maureen Ashby to Gemma. Maureen's a warm, caring person. I'm not that surprised about the divorce. Near the end, there was this weird tension between JT and Gemma."

"In the letters Maureen Ashby sent here that I found, Gemma took out some of them before she gave them to you. She didn't want you to know your father suspected that Clay and Gemma were plotting to kill him. Clay sent him into a Mayan ambush that he managed to survive. His bike had also been tampered with."

Tara paused and took Jax's drink. She took a couple of sips before returning it.

"That bad, huh?"

"I'm not sure how you'll react. Before you got out of prison, I pulled the police report on your father's accident. I tried to find the truck driver. I hired a private investigator. The driver doesn't exist. Normally, the police officer would have run the truck driver's info through the system. Unser had to have known that the ID was fake or he wrote down a fake name. I think Unser also lied on the police report. I don't think your father drove into a big rig or the motorcycle malfunctioned. The truck drove into him."

"It was a hit."

Tara nodded. "I think so."

"I'm glad I killed him now," Jax said wryly.

Tara laughed.

"That's horrible."

"You think Gemma, Clay and Unser conspired to kill him?"

"There may be a few more names on the suspect list. There was a binder underneath the divorce papers and letter to Maureen Ashby. It contains your father's future plans for the MC."

"I thought he was going to leave the MC."

"You need to read what's in the binder."

Tara slid off the barstool and stood up.

"I have to go help Ry. You know how to order food and if you need anything just ask Cas because she instructs robots." Tara smiled.

Jax stood up and pulled her slowly into his arms.

"Thank you."

"For what?" she asked.

"For being you. I never appreciated you and all that you did and all that you keep doing."

"It's the conversion. You're not mad at me for snooping?"

He shook his head.

"No, I'm glad you made copies. I can use them to help me steer a better path this time."

"What about the stuff about your father?"

"Whatever I find out, I find out. I'll figure it out."

He leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips against hers before releasing her.

"I hope you appreciate my self-control. You have no idea how much I want you."

"Want me or want sex?"

"You and only you."

She grinned at him.

"You still have the smooth Jax Teller way with words."

"Did it work?"

"I have to get to work."

Jax went back to the counter and ordered a cheeseburger and fries before finishing his drink. He poured himself another drink. Leave it the Paralorns to come up with a beverage better than alcohol.

He tried to digest Tara's information about his father. He wondered if he ever knew him. Finding out JT was planning to divorce Gemma only elevated him in his eyes. At least his father was trying to make good changes in his life.

After he finished his food, he went into his room, taking another glass of the indigo liquid with him.

The information he read matched what Tara told him. He drummed his fingers on the binder cover wondering what kind of information it held. What would he think of his father after he read it?

As he flipped open the cover, his eyes widened in surprise. JT's plan for the MC was to destroy it.

Jax sat at his desk and read every one of his father's words. There was a list of every person the Sons killed or had someone kill. Next was an even longer list of all their illegal activities.

His father explained that when the club was originally founded they wanted it to be outlaw because they wanted to be free of society's rules. Somehow, that had gotten turned into a club that was about nothing but criminal business activities. It was the Mafia on motorcycles.

He could no longer bear the weight of all the people they had killed in the past and he couldn't have a future that would involve more killing. He planned on bringing up the subject with SAMCRO at a special meeting. He would give them a choice to either disband SAMCRO or he would crush it using all of their crimes to lock them all up even if it meant he would have to go to prison. He wanted SAMCRO out of Charming and its people freed from its hold.

There were a few hastily scribbled words. JT had delivered his ultimatum to a full table with the exception of Piney who was in the hospital with some injuries from a motorcycle accident.

His last words written in a now faded black marker:

If I live, SAMCRO dies

If I die, SAMCRO lives

Gemma and Clay didn't kill JT. The entire club was responsible for his father's death. He wasn't the first Teller to get a Mayhem vote.

 **AS ALWAYS, PLEASE REVIEW AND THAT INCLUDES EVERYONE.** YOU READ, YOU WRITE. Only exceptions—if English isn't your native language because I know it's hard to write in a foreign language. I will say that I've had reviews from readers who aren't native English speakers from France and somewhere in Asia and I really appreciate someone making that kind of effort.

And you can answer a question if you really can't come up with words—do you prefer the stories being posted together, separately or not at all?

Next up

More twists and Jax will become stronger and tougher because he will need to be to face what's coming up.

The next chapter will begin the switch to a more action packed plot unless Charming gets nuked. You never know what's going to happen when temperamental (emphasis on the mental) people don't get reviews. (Even bad ones are more fun than none)

M


	13. Chapter 13

29

 **JAX IS REALLY ALIVE**

 **Chapter 12 Recap**

Jax spends some alone time thinking about his life. He feels lost and he suddenly realizes he doesn't know who he is anymore. He's been Jax Teller of SAMCRO, a badass outlaw biker. He surrendered his identity when he had the conversion. He looks the same, but no human will ever see him as Jax Teller again.

Tara gives Jax more surprising news. She went into his house one night using her time stopping abilities. She, Skeeter and his fiancée Angela took his writings and made copies. Skeeter noticed something odd with the drawer. He found a false bottom. With time running out, they grabbed the stuff in the hidden compartment and left.

Tara reveals the compartment contained divorce paperwork. JT was planning to divorce Gemma. He wanted to get back together with Maureen and raise their kids together. Last of all, he wanted to destroy SAMCRO and rid Charming of its toxic grip.

 **Chapter 13**

 **New Jax/ Same Old Problems or**

 **This is Me Attacking You**

 **Author's Note** _The lyrics for the songs mentioned can be found on Goggle play. You can listen to "Hanging By a Moment" by searching hit songs 2000. It's in the first group of songs. The lyrics fit well with the story point and that's one of the things among everything that I miss about SOA—the music that blended seamlessly with the show._

Jax turned the piece of paper over and discovered some faint pencil markings. He held them up to the lamp. It was a list of those at the table when JT delivered his ultimatum to the club.

He grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down the names. A couple of the guys were dead, three had transferred to other charters, two were inactive and three were current members.

Tig, Chibs and Happy (he began in Charming, went Nomad because he enjoyed travelling to the various clubs and returned to Charming partly because his mother needed looking after and partly because he'd had enough travelling) all voted to kill his father before voting for his own execution. He didn't want to believe the men he once considered his brothers could have been behind a mayhem vote on his father, but he knew it was true.

Old Jax would have killed everyone at that table who was still alive. He had that right because he was entitled to avenge his father's murder. That was justice in his world.

What would new Jax do? What would he have done if he'd been MC president and been presented with a choice to either kill the club or have law enforcement do it? He would have voted for mayhem. He would have voted to save the club and kill the member threatening its existence. It was a simple choice.

How could he fault Tig, Chibs and Happy for doing what he would have done if he had been in their places? Maybe that was JT's true end game. He knew the club would not go down without a fight. He had to have known they would kill him. Maybe he didn't have the balls to kill himself. Maybe JT was trying to convince himself he was dying for a noble purpose. Or maybe, JT held too high an opinion of his brothers and he genuinely thought they would vote to leave Charming and find another city to call home.

Jax finished his glass of indigo. One more glass and he would feel nothing. He walked out to the kitchen feeling a little confused by the floor. It seemed to be shifting under his feet kind of like an earthquake. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so drunk or high.

He opened the refrigerator and half filled his glass with indigo.

"The indigo level is low. I will instruct robots to make more," Cas said.

"Thanks, Cas. I can always count on you."

"Yes, Jax. That is true."

Jax returned to his room, sat back down at his desk and looked at the papers again. It was strange how little he knew his father. He idolized him and wanted to be just like him, but how much did he really know him? JT wasn't around much because he put the MC first just as he had.

JT's memory wasn't so sacred after all. JT spent little time with him. He hoped that when he joined the MC that he and his father would grow close and get to know each other.

Despite knowing so little of his father, they both faced the same truth about the MC: it was toxic. The difference between them was the women they chose. Gemma was a hard core old lady. She needed the social status and respect tied to being the old lady of the president of SAMCRO. She would never be able to see the club objectively.

Gemma would have fought any plan he had to leave SAMCRO. After Clay died, she needed him to stay president to preserve her standing in the club and in Charming. The danger, the prison time, the killing, none of it mattered to Gemma because he was the one that had to do it so she could keep her social position.

Tara was never with him because he belonged to the MC. She helped the club when needed, but her identity wasn't tied up in it. When she told him the MC was behind every bad thing that had happened to him, he finally got it.

Jax wished he had someone to talk to her. Maybe he could talk to Cas a little.

"Cas, how long have you been instructing robots?"

"Since my creation. I run this entire structure and instruct robots in its maintenance and ensure the greatest possible comfort to its occupants."

"That's a very important job."

"Yes, Jax. I have important responsibilities."

Jax grinned. He loved it when Cas got caught up in her own self-importance.

It had been four hours since Tara left him to work with Ryland. Maybe she was finished and he could talk to her.

"Cas, where is Tara?"

"Jax, I can't tell you where Tara is." Cas said sounding sad.

"Don't you know where she is?"

"I know where she is."

"Then tell me."

"I can't tell you where she is."

"Why not?"

"After Tara learned I told you that she sometimes stays with Ryland at night, she was mad. I am no longer allowed to tell you where she is."

"You could tell me and I would never let her know you told me."

"I can't tell you."

"Nothing will happen to you if you tell me."

"Tara told me if I told you where she was again, she won't let me instruct robots anymore. _I_ instruct robots."

"How could she do that? Who would instruct robots?"

"Tara would instruct robots. _I_ instruct robots. Tara can be very mean."

"I don't know why she would want to do that. You are excellent at what you do."

Cas may be a computer, but she had feminine characteristics and he had a way with females. A little flattery usually did the trick.

"The quality of my work wasn't the issue. She would instruct robots in my place to punish me for telling you her location."

"Having her instruct computers wouldn't hurt you. You're a computer. You don't have feelings."

"I have pride. That's what makes me strive to provide the best possible occupant experience. If I no longer instruct robots, I will not be able to ensure the occupants receive the best possible experience."

"Sorry I got you in trouble."

It was clear that Cas was too afraid she'd lose control of the robots if she answered his question.

"Tara can be very mean," Cas said sounding tragically forlorn.

Jax showered, finished his glass of indigo and returned the glass to the kitchen. Just as he began walking down the hall, he saw Ryland and Tara disappear into his room.

He felt like he'd been punched in the gut. When Tara said he had a chance of getting back together with her, he assumed that she would break off things with Ryland. No, that wasn't right. He _hoped_ she would quit sleeping with him.

He thought going through the conversion process would feel like a rebirth. He would have a new life. Unfortunately, he had the same problems.

He collapsed on his bed. He needed a plan to get Tara back. Once they were together, they could reunite with the boys as a real family.

He had been a shit father. He changed the occasional wet diaper and fed Thomas occasionally, but he never played with his boys or made time for them. He was following in his father's footsteps all right.

His eyes shut and he fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

Jax didn't wake up. It was more of a resurfacing. He felt like he was at the bottom of a big deep pool and he was slowly swimming to the surface. Along the way, he saw images of Tara naked with Ryland.

He opened his eyes and his body jerked violently as he returned to full wakefulness. He stared at the ceiling and tried to figure out his life.

Once again, he wondered what SAMCRO thought of his escape from death. Did they think he was a coward for not killing himself? Did they believe he had his magic trick of an escape from death planned all along?

He sat up with a start. He realized that he didn't care what his MC thought. Whatever he had felt for his so-called brothers was gone completely.

He didn't fault Happy. Give him an order or a murder to do. All the killings that he'd done didn't weigh on him. He didn't see things as right or wrong. He was a true sociopath. That made him a perfect MC soldier.

Chibs talked a good game, but cold hard reality told a different story. He had let Jimmy O'Phelan run him out of Ireland and take Fiona and his daughter Carrie as his own. What kind of man would tuck his tail or his dick between his legs and scurry away like a scared little mouse to the United States? You fight for your family.

After that trip to Ireland, Chibs promised to see his family more. He killed Jimmy shortly after that, but still he made no effort to reconcile with Fiona despite claiming to love her or to see his daughter also despite claiming to love. He never flew them from Ireland to see him or went to see them. He spent his down time drinking and banging crow-eaters. He was a downscale middle-aged frat boy.

Tig was the worst of his brothers that had been long-time members. Tig killed Donna accidentally and he killed Veronica Pope also accidentally in a stupid misguided attempt to get payback for Clay's shooting. If he hadn't been so hot headed, Opie and his daughter would still be alive. And yet, being the good brother, he had saved Tig's life over and over again.

When Tig's daughter was burned to death in front of him, it hurt him for a few days. Once he killed Pope, he was over her death completely. He was still heartbroken over his dog Missy's death.

He loved that dog more than he did his kids. Like Chibs, he spent his down-time drinking and banging crow-eaters. He had recently begun a relationship with Venus. Once the novelty of being with a transsexual wore off, he would be on to the next kink. It had happened more times than he could remember.

Looking at his long-time brothers, he wondered why he ever thought they were worth more to him than Tara. Who was by his side now? Tara. Whether or not they got back together, they would always share a bond forged in high school and sealed by their boys. He might lose her. He deserved to lose her, but that was old Jax. New Jax was going to be worthy of her. New Jax was going to get her back.

He stumbled into the bathroom and flinched when he got a look at his face. He didn't blame Tara for choosing Ryland over him. He was bleary-eyed, his face was puffy and he had dark shadows under his eyes despite the 12 hours he'd slept.

"Cas, I look like hell," Jax moaned.

"Jax, you do not look like hell. References show hell is thought to be a fiery pit or a cold unbearable place."

"It's a figure of speech," Jax muttered under his breath.

"I have updated my data base to reflect that."

No wonder Tara didn't want to have sex with him. He was not looking Jax Teller hot. He had chiseled abs and rock hard muscles. That hadn't changed. He just needed an improvement.

Jax began looking through the drawers under the sink.

"Cas, I need a razor."

"I can get you a razor. If you wish to shave, I can instruct a robot to shave you. Ryland says the shaving performed by the robot under my instruction does an excellent job."

"How long would it take?"

"That depends on the area."

"I meant how long would it take for the robot to come to me and shave me."

"Again that depends on the area you want to have shaved."

"Just my face."

"Based on the amount of hair currently in the designated shaving area, it should take between twenty and thirty minutes. The robot can provide a perfect shave and a barber shop quality experience."

"How soon can the robot get here?"

"Two minutes. The personal service robots are in a storage area and they do not move quickly because there could be accidents with the occupants if they moved too quickly."

"I'd like to have the robot shave my face now."

"I know you will be pleased with the service. The robot is at your door."

"That was fast."

"I sent the robot when you asked me about a razor in anticipation that you would want the excellent shaving service provided by the robot I instruct."

"Open door," Jax said.

A tall dark purple cylinder rolled itself into the room.

"Stand away from the robot," Cas said. "It converts. You are still too close."

Jax moved four feet away from the robot. He watched in amazement as the cylinder transformed itself into a high tech barber's chair.

"Climb into the chair. The personal shaving unit will swing up and over your face. Shut your eyes and relax. Allow the robot to guide your head as it works."

Jax got into the chair and put his head in the head rest. A smaller cylinder swung out from underneath the chair and up and over Jax's face.

Cas hadn't oversold the experience. When he shut his eyes, he was transported back to the one and only time he'd had a shave at Floyd's (Charming's barber shop and site of Jax throwing Kohn through one of its windows). It was the afternoon of Charming High's prom. He wanted to look really good for the prom, so he and Opie went to Floyd's for a shave and a haircut. He couldn't remember the name of Opie's date. Opie went through a lot of girls until he found Donna.

He and Opie kept running their hands over their faces marveling at how smooth a shave Floyd had given them. When he and Opie got into their black tuxes, he felt like a grown up for the first time in his life. He was just getting ready to start prospecting for SAMCRO and he believed his future would be full of happiness.

"The robot can also do manicures and pedicures," Cas said.

"I don't need that done."

"If you need the service in the future, you know it is available to you. The robot can also do haircuts. Have you noticed Tara's beautiful haircut?"

"Tara always looks beautiful to me."

"Her hair looked awful. I reviewed available photo sources of current hairstyles, matched it with Tara's face shape and then guided the robot through the haircut. You should tell her how nice her hair looks. Tara says men do not notice haircuts."

Jax had a moment's hesitation when the robot brought the straight edged razor to his face, but after the first scraping he relaxed. The robot provided a flawless smooth shave complete with hot towels and warm shaving cream.

"Please check that the shave is to your satisfaction," Cas said when the robot finished Jax's shave.

Jax ran his hand over his face. It was the first time in more than twelve years that he hadn't had some facial hair.

"It's perfect."

"If you remove yourself from the robot chair, the robot can leave."

Jax stood up, the robot transformed back into a cylinder and left, the door closing behind it.

"I am glad that you are pleased with the robot's services."

"Thanks, Cas."

He didn't really need to thank Cas, but manners were one of the few things Gemma had drilled into his head outside all the MC shit.

Jax decided to finish his transformation with a cold shower to help wake him up. He pulled on clean underwear and jeans. He stood and looked over the collection of shirts still thinking about the prom. He picked a V-neck black T-shirt as a nod back to his high school self in that black tux. He and Opie had been the only ones in black.

He took another look in the bathroom mirror. That was much better. He looked refreshed and the shave took ten years off his face. He looked Jax Teller hot now. It hit him then. Gone was the Jax Teller that could walk into a room and have his pick of girls. He could still pick them out, he just couldn't have sex with them. He could only have sex with Paralorns or hybrids. He was going to stay faithful to Tara. He just would have preferred it to be his choice and not dictated by alien biology.

He didn't accept it as fact yet. It may have been true of other hybrids, but he had always been different. It didn't matter. Tara was the only woman for him.

With his clean-shaven face, he looked like he fit into society. It was something that he had never wanted to do. He liked being an anarchist and he thought he was better than those law-abiding citizens with their dull boring lives.

Despite being done with the MC, there was just something about living a nice suburban life with family dinners every night that set his teeth on edge. It would be like a living death. There had to be something else. He had plenty of time to figure that out with his new enhanced alien life span.

He walked out into the living area and found Tara reading a romance novel. Her hair did look different now that Cas brought it to his attention. It grazed her shoulders and fell in layers that brought out her eyes and cheekbones.

"I can't remember the last time you were clean-shaven," she said, putting down her book.

"I can. It was prom and you had on a red dress almost the same color as the top you have on now. You were so beautiful. All the other girls were in pale puffy dresses, but you had on that red dress that fit close with just a little cleavage and then it flared out a bit at the waist."

"I can't believe you remember that."

"I wanted to keep that memory close to my heart," Jax said. "I can even remember some of the songs we danced to. We slow-danced to "Fallin'" by Alicia Keys."

Tara instructed Cas to play the song.

Jax held out his hands to her. She went to him, put her hands in his and they danced. At first they were rusty, shuffling around, stepping on each other's feet and laughing. Suddenly, they found their rhythm, moving and gliding together in perfect sync. Tara rested her head on Jax's chest just as she had on that prom night that seemed so long ago.

"This feels so good," Tara whispered looking into Jax's eyes.

Jax lifted the fingers of her left hand and kissed them lightly, neither missing a step. They locked eyes and continued dancing, both transported back to a simpler time when they were so in love, they couldn't imagine life without the other.

"Is the song a lot longer than I remembered?" Jax asked, breaking the moment and bringing them both back to reality.

"No. I didn't tell Cas to quit playing the song," Tara said with a smile. "It's on an endless loop until . . ."

"There's a news update on this morning's story," Cas said interrupting.

They stopped dancing.

"There's been a development while you've been sleeping."

"How bad is it?"

"I told you it was going to happen. Althea Jarry got arrested this morning. Cas, show the Althea Jarry story and put the latest news at the end of the story. Cas put together the news story using all available sources."

They looked at one of the screens that descended from the ceiling.

Althea Jarry was standing in front of the sheriff's department Charming Morada substation, formerly Charming PD. She was about to give a press update on the manhunt for Jax Teller. Suddenly two black and white police cars screeched into view as if on cue by some unseen director. Officers jumped out and walked up to Althea.

"Althea Jarry, you are under arrest," an officer said and he pulled out a piece of paper and began reading a list of charges that went back as far as the statue of limitations would allow.

She stood there just staring at the officers, clearly surprised by this development.

Another officer read her her rights, slapped cuffs on her wrists and put her into the back of a police car. Charming had a few holding cells, but all major arrests were processed through the county jail system.

Hale had been standing off to one side wearing a deputy sheriff's uniform. This version of Hale had a little longer hair and seemed less intense. A small measure of his former surfer self was back.

Jacob Hale, wearing a perfectly cut navy blue suit, stepped to the microphone and called for quiet.

"I am Jacob Hale mayor of Charming. Today marks a turning point or should I say a returning point in Charming law enforcement. With the arrest of Althea Jarry for a variety of charges including corruption and taking bribes, the city council met in closed session this morning where we were advised by the county of this morning's action. The city council intends to sever the agreement with the sheriff's department for the provision of law enforcement services. Charming will once again have its own police department.

"The county has agreed to this and we are all parting on good terms. That is important because our agencies need to cooperate and provide mutual aid. The terms of the agreement are being worked out and should be ready for public review within three days. It's a sad day for county law enforcement, but I can't stress enough the professionalism of the officers who undertook this delicate internal investigation. Now, I'd like to introduce Detective Captain Hale Hawthorne who led the task force and will takeover the Charming Morada substation until the city has in place a police chief and police force."

Hale walked to the mike in his deputy sheriff's uniform. There were a few gasps at how much he looked like David Hale.

"First, I'd like to say what you are all thinking—I look a lot like David Hale who died in the line for duty for Charming PD. I don't mind the comparison and I hope as you get to know me and see my work, I will establish my own identity.

"This investigation has been on-going. Once Lieutenant Jarry was assigned to Charming by the _elected_ sheriff of the county, who was also arrested a few hours ago for domestic violence, solicitation of prostitution and suspected DUI, we noticed that her illegal activities seemed to show a sharp rise due to a relationship between Jarry and the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club. More information will be provided at the appropriate time. Are there any questions?"

"Do you suspect that Jarry helped serial killer Jax Teller escape from under the noses of law enforcement?"

"We haven't come to any conclusion yet on how Jax Teller managed to pull off his getaway. I will provide updates as information becomes available."

"Are there other sheriff's deputies you suspect?"

"I can't comment on that."

The reporters left and Althea Jarry was driven to the county jail for booking.

The new footage began. It began with a close up shot of the same woman who had gone into Scoops to interview SAMCRO. This time she was wearing a hot pink suit with a skirt so short if she walked she would be in danger of a wardrobe malfunction.

"I'm Diana DeNutz from channel 5 K-RAP TV and we have just come into possession of underground parking lot footage that will show you just how cozy the relationship between the violent outlaw motorcycle gang the Sons of Anarchy and Althea Jarry was. If you have kids or old people who don't remember about sex, you may want to have them leave the room. We've blurred out the naughty bits with a very small blurred dot because we didn't need to use a larger one."

The news footage showed a surprisingly high definition video recording of Chibs having sex with Althea Jarry while a member of SAMCRO stood nearby. It ended quickly leaving viewers and no doubt Althea Jarry unsatisfied.

"I think it's safe to say the Sons of Anarchy were in bed with Althea Jarry or at least one of them was. This is Diana DeNutz from channel 5 K-RAP TV with another exclusive."

"That's the end of the news update," Cas said.

"Well done, Cas," Tara said.

"Chibs," Tara said.

Jax shook his head and they both began to laugh.

"How do you think Chibs is going to take it?" Tara asked when she finally quit laughing.

"I don't know and I don't care."

"You don't care?" Tara frowned as she studied Jax's face.

"No. I let it all go. I realized that the guys weren't worth all my time and devotion. I know that Gemma and JT raised me to believe in the club like some raise their kids in a religion, but it's all wrong. I have nothing to show for it. I left the club in a good place, but I know that Chibs will fuck it up sooner or later. It looks like the answer may be in on that one and it's sooner."

"Are you really over it just like that? The MC killed your father."

"What would vengeance do? I would have voted to kill him to save the club if I had been in their places."

"You're different."

"Is that a good thing? Isn't that what you want?"

"I want you to be you, whoever that is."

"Which one will you fall in love with?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he realized he was taking the wrong tone. It was just when he looked at her, he thought of her having sex with Ryland and it stirred up anger and jealousy. Just like that, the moment was spoiled and he had no one to blame but himself.

"I haven't eaten yet. I was thinking of fish and chips. The robots really do a great job with them," Tara said, completely ignoring his comment.

"Yeah, that's good."

Tara ordered the food.

"I'm sorry," Jax said. "I know I shouldn't put pressure on you. I know you were with Ryland last night. I think about it and the jealousy just comes out. Cas didn't tell me. I saw you when I was walking back from the kitchen."

"Cas told you she can't tell you where I am anymore."

"She told me you would take the robots away from her and would instruct them yourself."

"Cas offline now."

"The robots are still cooking and may need further instruction."

"Understood. Offline now."

"Cas doesn't understand humor or jokes. I did tell her I would take the robots away when I found out she told you and about Ry and me. I wouldn't really do it. I just wanted to make sure she understood how serious I was about her not telling you where I am. It's none of anyone's business but mine where I spend the night."

"How long would you have waited to tell me about you and Ryland?"

"I don't know. At least when I was with him, we weren't together. I didn't cheat on you."

Jax groaned.

"I thought we had finally moved past that."

"Cas online now. Instruct cooking robots."

"I am now online," Cas said.

"I'm saying that I'm not cheating on you," Tara said. "You know that he and I are together and I've been completely honest about my relationship with him."

"Don't expect me to ever be OK with you sleeping with another man. I know I have no right to make demands after all the bad shit I've done. I know we have a long way to go to fix our relationship if it's even fixable."

"Fighting about my relationship with Ryland isn't going to fix anything."

"I know. I know. I just want things to go back to normal."

"Jax, we never had normal. We never really had time just to be together after I came back to Charming."

"Because the MC was always in the way," Jax said.

"I didn't say that."

"You don't have to. It's the truth, but you bear some fault. You were so afraid of me leaving you over the club, you never spoke up. Maybe if you had done that, I would have grown to see the problems with the club."

"And what about Gemma? How was I supposed to deal with her? She would never have let you leave the club or town. She would force you to choose her and the club or me."

"Maybe that's the choice you should have made. Gotten the hell out of Charming after I rescued you from Salazar."

"I think we need to agree that we both made mistakes and there's no point dredging them up. Let's just start fresh."

"Except for one thing I need from you. I want you to start telling me about what bothers you. Don't expect me to know and don't expect me to react in a certain way. You need to be more open about your feelings."

"I can do that."

"I'll do the same."

"This is good. Us talking about what we need from the other. Right now, I am dying to touch your face."

"Tara, you never need permission to touch me . . . anywhere," he said, his voice husky.

Suddenly she felt shy about touching his face. She lifted her fingers and gently stroked his cheek with her thumb.

"So smooth," she said. She stood on tiptoe and rubbed her cheek against his.

"Ummm . . . It feels like heaven. I always loved you clean shaven."

"Why didn't you tell me that?"

"I thought it was part of the MC."

"Not everyone had facial hair in the MC. You should have spoken up."

"You're right. I will speak up."

"Think we have time for another dance before lunch is ready?"

"Tell Cas the song you want to play."

"Cas play the song "Hanging by a Moment" by Lifehouse." Jax replied.

"That was also one of the songs they played," Tara said, still surprised that he had remembered such a small detail.

"I told you that I remembered all the information because I hold it close to my heart."

Jax half-closed his eyes as they danced together. He was hit with love that started from the ground and climbed up his body to wash over him. He loved Tara, but it never felt like this. The intensity was off the charts. Maybe it was the alien upgrade or the song was connecting him with his younger self who saw a life full of promise, but he couldn't remember loving Tara with this much passion. He was brought him back to earth when Cas told them lunch was ready.

As they ate fish and chips, Tara explained that he had one last thing to do before he could go out into the world: he needed to memorize all the information that the Paralorns had so painstakingly put together from his birth certificate, social security card and report cards to his work history. There were even a few school pictures that matched the schools he attended.

"I need to memorize all this?"

"Yes. It's been tailored so you remember what a typical person would remember. Maybe a couple of teachers, maybe a couple of classmates. It's all bullet proof. No one will be able to pierce this ID even the government will find that it's real. Hale's ID has withstood a lot of scrutiny."

"He's really going to get to be police chief finally?"

"Yes."

"I think he'll do a good job. I'm seeing Hale differently too," Jax said. He ran his hand over his face, still getting used to not having facial hair. "I saw him as this uptight Boy Scout who wanted to stop SAMCRO. I thought of us as white knights going out and protecting Charming. We protected them all right. We shook them down for protection money and it was less to protect them from others and more about protecting them from _us_. I believed all that shit about protecting the town when it really needed protection from us. How the hell could it have taken me so long to see this?"

"We can't fix the past. We just need to learn from it and move on."

"A lot of that has been you. You've really helped me see the club for what it really is and not what I've been brainwashed into believing."

"I'm worried that you are going to feel lost without the club."

"I will find a purpose for my life. It may take me a little time, but I _will_ figure it out."

"I'm so glad to hear that. We need to do pictures for your driver's license and passport. When Ry gets back, he will alter your fingerprints. There's so much heat on to find you, you are going to get stopped. Since to humans you don't look exactly like Jax Teller, that will help, but we need the ID and you need to know your background story. I don't want you to end up in jail while they try to figure out who you are."

"I'm sure there are multiple hits out on me."

"Donna and Opie are part of your background. You went out with Donna a couple of times and then she met Opie and dumped you. You have had an on again mostly off again relationship with me since we met at a bookstore. It's all in the folder."

"What happens if one of us makes a mistake or slips up? Won't that sink the others?"

"You can't slip up. Worst case, blame drugs for the lapse. Hale's also helping. He'll be a reference for you. If it looks like they are going to take you, tell them to call him. His cell number is also in the folder, you need to memorize it."

"Was that his idea or yours?"

"His. The whole death thing changed him a bit. He sees you as being poisoned by Gemma and he thinks you deserve a chance to make something of your life."

"With all the bad shit I've done, the people I've killed, I'm just surprised Hale is willing to stick his neck out like that for me."

"Hale's a good guy and it's not like the people you killed were fine upstanding citizens. Things aren't as black and white to Hale as they used to be and all of us hybrids really stick together."

Jax looked at Tara sharply. He always suspected there was more than to Tara and Hale's relationship than she told him. Until Ryland, he was the only guy who ever made him jealous.

"I know you like to do physical things. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. The workout room converts into a training room complete with fighting robots."

"The robots fight each other?"

"I guess they could, but they fight us. I've learned a ton of self defense stuff from them and with my alien upgrade, I could kick the butts of two men at once without a bruise."

"I have to see that to believe it."

"Let me change into exercise clothes first and then we'll go."

"I want to fight them too."

"You've got workout clothes in your room. I'll meet you downstairs."

Tara beat him downstairs and that wasn't all that she was beating. When he walked into the room, he saw that she was dressed completely in black from her T-shirt to her tennis shoes and she was beating up on a robot that looked like a person only the face didn't look real. It was just painted on. She kicked the robot in the groin and delivered hard hitting elbows to the midsection before driving the palm of her hand into the robot's face. It was a blow that would have broken a human's nose.

"You look so sexy," Jax said.

"Only now?"

"Always. I also forgot to tell you how much I like your new haircut."

"Cas, stop robots," Tara said as a robot began to circle her getting ready to attack. "Cas talks too much. I got this haircut shortly after I returned to life. That means I've had it since I stopped time out on the freeway."

"You remind me of Mrs. Peel in The Avengers," Jax said, trying again to charm her.

Tara smiled at the compliment.

"Now, you're trying to seduce me."

Jax, also clad in black workout clothes, stepped up into the large padded area that had been cleared of all the exercise equipment.

"How am I doing with that?" he asked walking up to her.

"I'm dressed and not underneath you. That pretty much says it all."

"You wound me with your words."

"I'm stronger and tougher. Try to attack and hurt me."

"Tara, I don't want to hurt you."

"You can't hurt me because I will kick your ass."

"How about you attacking me?"

Tara didn't answer, instead she threw herself on Jax catching him off guard and they fell to the thick mat. She elbowed him in the stomach, kneed him in the groin and jumped to her feet before he had a chance to react.

Typically, he would need several seconds to recover, but he discovered that new Jax felt no pain

Jax got to his feet and dove at Tara catching her by the legs and bringing her to the ground. He stretched out on top of her body.

"Comfortable?" she asked.

"I'm getting there."

Tara threw her body up and over his, rolling him underneath her before he could react.

"That's better," she said.

"I'm OK with both," Jax said. Feeling Tara's body pressed against his felt both familiar and strange. Maybe it was the human and alien parts together. All he knew was he never wanted a woman as much as he wanted Tara at that moment.

She had his arms pinned to his side. He easily broke her grip and rolled with her a couple of times on the mat, stopping when he was back on top again.

"It was such a good idea to come down here," Jax said.

He got up and held his hand to Tara to help her up. Once she was on her feet, he pulled her into his arms and began kissing her. She was both familiar and new and he felt almost as intoxicated as he'd been last night after all the indigo just from kissing her. He broke the kiss, needing to cool himself down.

His lips moved to Tara's neck, lightly brushing her neck. He heard Tara gasp. Some things weren't new. Tara loved having her neck kissed and just brushing his lips there drove her wild. She pulled herself closer to him, so close they were almost standing on top of each other. She was warm and yielding. His lips moved to her ear and he bit her earlobe.

"I have some bad news for you," he whispered.

"What's that?" she asked. She opened her eyes and looked at him puzzled.

"I'm not going to make love to you no matter how much you beg as long as you're still with Ryland," he said before releasing her and taking a step back to put a little distance between them. "I'm not as evolved as Ryland. I won't share you with him."

"Really? You mean that?" she demanded.

"Yeah."

Tara looked at him surprised by the turn this situation had taken.

"Jax Teller turning down sex? That's a first."

"I'm not Jax Teller anymore, remember? I'm Jax Turner."

"I'm just surprised."

"I do have self-control. I was very patient back in high school."

She nodded. "You were," she whispered. "Even if I beg, huh?"

"Even if you beg," he said. "You have my terms. Break it off with Ryland if you want to have sex with me."

"You play dirty."

"Back to robot fighting," Jax said. He wasn't sure how much longer his self-control would continue to hold up and getting the shit beat out of him by robots seemed like a good way to dampen his desire. He told Cas to start the robots and to have them attack him.

Tara stood there, dazed by this unexpected show of self-control on Jax's part. She dropped to the mat and watched as Jax attacked the robots over and over again with mostly the same results—the robots beating him and throwing him to the ground violently.

"Cas, stop robots," Tara said. "The robots have a training mode. The Paralorns have fighting down to a science. You learn how to deliver the most effective blows."

"Didn't think to mention this eight ass-kickings ago?"

A smile played at the corners of her mouth.

"You aren't the only one who can play dirty. I enjoyed watching you get your butt kicked."

"Sexual frustration isn't a good look on you, Tara."

"I'm going to take a shower and change."

"Better make it a cold shower," Jax called as she turned and began walking out the door.

He continued to practice with the robots, growing stronger and more effective with every blow. The new alien strength made him feel like a superhero. Finally exhausted, he went to his room. He left the door open to his room and the bathroom just in case Tara wanted a peek.

He had come up with this strategy to get Tara back when they were rolling around on the mat. He would use sex against her and break her with her desire for him. It didn't matter what Ryland did to her in bed. He knew he was better. He may not be Jax Teller anymore, but he was Jax Turner and he knew all the ways to please a woman.

By showing restraint with Tara, he was also showing her that he was capable of self-control. He wasn't a mindless sex machine—well not anymore. She would see that he could turn her down no matter how much he desired her and he could use that same self-control to stay faithful to her. It was a brilliant plan.

Jax soaped up his body. Men underestimated the power of a good shower and a great smelling body wash in seducing a woman.

He felt good despite the repeated beatings he had taken from the robots. He probably shouldn't have started out trying to fight both of them at once though. As the water cascaded off his face, he saw Tara standing in his room watching him. He was getting results quicker than he expected. She never could resist him when he was showering. He got out of the shower and wrapped a white towel around his waist in a pretense of modesty.

"Are you here to admire my naked body, plead for sex or deliver bad news?" Jax asked.

"The last one," she said.

"Oh, shit," Jax said. He hadn't been serious. He expected Tara to tell him she called Ryland and ended their whatever it was they had and she was now his. He might have known she wouldn't be that easy to seduce despite the kissing and the shower.

"It's past bad, not current bad news." She sat on his bed and looked up at him. "When Gemma left Charming, she was pregnant. She had the baby . . ." Tara said, her voice broke and for a second her composure slipped. "There's just no easy way to say this and I thought it was better if I told you than if you saw it on the news."

"Tell me."

"She had the baby. A girl. She choked the life out of her, stuffed the umbilical cord in the infant's mouth and put her in garbage bags. She kept her in a little suitcase at a storage unit owned by Ima's father. When she didn't pay the rental, he opened the unit and found the baby. It's all over the news. Cas has the story when you're ready to see it."

"Jesus Christ," Jax said, stunned by this news. He dropped to the bed to sit beside Tara. His mother was a horrible person, but this news from Tara launched her into a whole new category of evil.

She reached out and put her hand on his arm.

"There's one more thing."

"Oh, hell."

"Your mother kept a journal and included there were letters from the baby's father. She told him the baby was stillborn. The father was Wayne Unser."

 **Up Next for Jax Is Really Alive**

Jax is shocked when he discovers the Paralorns true end game and Tara's part in it and it isn't what you think. He meets with Meg and gets another surprise and that's not what you think. He continues to work at winning Tara's heart, mind and body. And something really bad happens.

 **And yes, it is going to be another awesome chapter! Just shorter.**

 _ **Sex. Yes there will be sex scenes, but in the interest of reader participation why don't you private message me a sex scene between Tara and Jax, Tara and Hale or Tara and Ryland or do it as a review if you are really proud of your efforts. If you do it as a guest, your name is never revealed. If I use any of it, I'll give you credit if you want it, but I won't if you don't. Now, if I then go on to write a sex scene and you don't like it and that's probably what's going to happen, you will have no one to blame but yourselves for not helping me. It can be explicit or very vague and prim. I will edit as I think necessary.**_

 _ **So, get busy and write a sex scene. The scene must contain only Jax and Tara. No threesomes, (or any some that is greater than two), animals, bondage gear, cordless drills, poison ivy, scorpions or violence and you must be over 18. I won't take points off for misspellings. Go for it. And if you can't write a sex scene, you can at least do a review.**_ _ **See how I worked that in there?**_

 _ **Spend two minutes trying to write a sex scene and you will realize how hard they are to write and how truly unsexy they are. And if I get writer's block and can't write the sex scenes, you will be partly to blame for not helping me.**_

 **What's Up Next for Me**

 **I will post a Tara's Story chapter next week with a revised chapter of Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas. I am planning to post a revised chapter of Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas through the New Year.**

 **I wanted to post Tara's Story and the Christmas story today, but this chapter ran long and I couldn't shorten it since I said in Tara's Story I would reveal the name of Gemma's baby's father in this chapter of JaxAlive and I needed to keep my word.**


	14. Chapter 14

17

 **JAX IS REALLY ALIVE**

 **Chapter 13 Recap**

Jax finds a list of names JT wrote down of all the members present when he delivered his ultimatum to the club—pack up and leave Charming or he would end the club by aiding law enforcement. He wonders if JT announced his intentions to the club, knowing they would come after and kill him because he lacked the courage to kill himself. This way he could die a martyr.

If presented with the same situation as president of SAMCRO, he would have called a mayhem vote on the member. The whole idea of the club is that it's bigger than its individual members. He can't blame them for voting to kill his father. Old Jax believes that he has a right to kill them because they were behind killing his father. New Jax sees the other side and can't fault them for making the same decision he would have made in their places.

He realizes that Gemma couldn't have existed without the MC. It was her identity and it gave her a social position. Tara is different. She was never with him because he belonged to the MC.

He sees his brothers realistically. Happy is psycho and kills without remorse. Chibs and Tig are downscale middle-aged frat boys who live for pussy, weed and alcohol.

Jax knows he wasn't a good father or a good husband. He has to make changes to be the person he wants to be, the father his kids deserve and the husband Tara deserves.

He wants to talk to Tara, but discovers that Cas has been forbidden to tell him where she is or Tara will take instructing the robots away from her. Cas's identity is tied up in instructing robots and she refuses to risk Tara taking the robots away.

Jax decides to make a change and Cas sends him a robot who provides him a shave comparable with a barber shop. Jax remembers the first and only time he ever had a barber shop shave. He and Opie were going to the prom and they wanted to look good for their dates.

Tara and Jax remember prom and dance to two of the songs played then.

After lunch, Tara and Jax go downstairs to fight with robots. The gym converts into a padded fight area complete with two fighting robots. Jax finds the sight of Tara beating up robots arousing, but it doesn't take much to arouse him. They roll around on the mats and kiss. Abruptly, Jax breaks the embrace and tells Tara that he has bad news for her; he won't have sex with her as long as she's with Ryland. She's surprised by this and can't quite believe it. Jax stays strong and doesn't give in. Tara leaves him in the gym after watching the robots kick his ass many times.

Jax takes another sexy shower. Tara is again, in his room, watching him. He wraps a tall around his waist and asks if she's in his room to admire his naked body, beg for sex or give him bad news.

Tara delivers the bad news. It's all over TV. Ima's father owns a storage unit that Gemma secretly used for the storage of a dead baby. Unser was the father.

 **Author's Note I was originally going to post a Tara's Story chapter and a revised first chapter of Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas, but I got stung by a scorpion three times and I was already sick. Previously, I was stung five times by a scorpion. That hurt for awhile, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I iced it and after a couple of hours, it didn't hurt much. This time, I got stung three times and it hurt much more. The pain lasted for more than a day without improvement and my thumb where I got stung was swollen and stiff. Scorpions choose how much venom to use just like venomous snakes. Then, I was still sick with a cold after I got over most of the scorpion sting. While I was suffering with it, I got the idea for this chapter. This is really the only place it would work. So, I'm doing this short chapter and next week, I'll do Tara's Story and Tara's Christmas story. This isn't the chapter I mentioned at the end of the last Jax Alive chapter that I was going to do. It does advance the plot in several important ways. I promised to post chapters and this was the best I could do this week.**

 **Chapter 14 Bonus Chapter**

He remembered hearing his mother say on more than one occasion that baby girls should be strangled at birth. He thought she was joking. Turned out there was more truth to her words than anyone suspected.

"Unser? She was underage and he was a cop. That could have cost him his badge."

"It kind of explains the connection between them and why he did what she wanted him to do. He felt guilty for having sex with her when she was underage," Tara said.

"I don't think I can be surprised about anything anymore."

"Hale will get us a copy of Gemma's journal in case you want to read it. The original has to be kept as part of the death investigation for the baby."

Jax shook his head.

"What is it with my family and journals?"

"I am surprised that Gemma kept a journal. I didn't think she was that introspective."

"It may take me awhile before I want to read it. I may never want to read it."

"Do you mind if I read it?"

"I don't have secrets from you anymore. It's all part of the new Jax Turner. I think I'm going to go back and fight with robots some more. I just need to hit something until I feel better. I don't know why anything bad Gemma did still surprises me, but to kill a newborn . . ."

"I have to go to the medical unit and do some things for Ryland. I'll walk down with you."

Jax dropped his towel and began to pull on his underwear. Tara turned around so she wouldn't see the show.

"Really, Tara, you don't have to turn your back while I dress. You've seen it all before."

"I'm being respectful."

"To me? To you? To Ryland? You don't have a problem looking at me when I'm showering."

"I averted my eyes from the naughty parts," she said, trying hard not to smile.

"Is he better in bed?" Jax demanded.

"Let the whole Ryland thing go."

"So, he isn't a better lover?"

"Not everything is about sex."

Jax wasn't convinced of that. If you get the sex right, you got the relationship right. He remembered the first time they had sex after she got out on bail. It hadn't felt right. The connection wasn't there. She hadn't felt like Tara. It wasn't until the last time they had sex that he felt he had Tara back. The boys were with his guys and they had an hour before Patterson was due to arrive. (Patterson and Tara's attorney had worked out a deal to get the murder charges against her dropped and, in exchange, Jax would plead guilty to supplying the gun used in the school shooting. This is all from SOA season 6)

"I don't know why you're still with him."

He pulled on the pants and decided against the T-shirt. It would just get soaked in sweat and he would end up stripping it off. Besides, he wanted Tara to see his chest and abs. A lot of hard work went into them.

"Of course, what woman in her right mind wants to be with a man who is handsome, good and treats her well when she could be with you—a man who can't even remember all the women he's been with?"

"That's low, Tara," Jax said. He grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around to face him. "I spent ten years drowning my heartbreak inside every woman I could get my hands on because I couldn't have the only woman I've ever loved."

"That doesn't mean I have to be with you. I get to have a life and I get to choose if it's with you, Ryland, neither or someone else. You shouldn't want me to be with you out of a sense of duty or pity."

He felt like she'd hit him, or more accurately, kneed him in the balls—hard.

"You would be with me out of pity?" he asked, raising his voice. "What do you think I am? Some pathetic loser?"

"Of course not," she said too quickly.

"Son of a bitch. You do think I'm a pathetic loser."

"Jax, what the hell is wrong with you? You're making problems when there aren't any. Give me some time and if you can't do that, you don't really want me to be with you."

"You're right," Jax said, running his hand over his face. He was beginning to like the feel of his face without facial hair. "I _am_ making problems and picking at you because of Gemma. It's not your fault my mother was a despicable human being. I thought Clay was the bad influence. Maybe it was the other way around. I'm sorry. I'm unleashing my mood on you and it's not your fault."

"I like this Jax Turner."

Jax reached for her and they wrapped their arms around each other.

"Remember back in high school when we had only been together a few months. We would stand and kiss so much, you would get dizzy and I would make sure a wall was close." (Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas)

"I remember," she said softly.

"What I never told you because it wouldn't be cool was I was dizzy too."

"That's so sweet."

Tara's eyes always reminded him of melted chocolate when she was really emotional. He tilted her face up and kissed her. She was warm and soft and he'd forgotten how much he enjoyed simply kissing her. He had been focused on where kissing led rather than just kissing.

Old habits were hard to break. They were only a few steps from his bed and it wouldn't take much to move them there. He wasn't sure his willpower would make it if he tried to kiss her on the bed. Sexual self-control was something he hadn't had much experience with except in high school with Tara.

He might have to rethink his strategy of trying to break her with her desire for him as the key to getting her to end her relationship with Ryland. New Jax's voice kicked in and told him to suck it up and deal with sexual deprivation. It wouldn't kill him and he could use the practice in self-control.

Jax broke the kiss off. There was a limit to how long he could kiss her without sliding his hands up under her shirt and he'd just reached it.

"This control thing is interesting," Tara said. "It's kind of sexy." She smiled and her eyes sparkled with mischief.

"You are enjoying my torment."

"I am. You told me sexual frustration wasn't a good look for me. I think it looks _really_ hot on you."

Jax laughed because if he didn't, he'd have Tara on the bed under him, her pants tugged down . . .

"New Tara . . ."

Jax noticed her eyes lost focus and her knees began to buckle. He swung her up and into his arms.

For a few seconds, he was back in his kitchen and he was holding Tara's cold lifeless body in his arms. She was gone. He couldn't believe he'd lost her. Not dead. Not dead. Not dead. He felt again that rising panic and soul scarring grief from that day.

He blinked and the moment was broken. This Tara was alive. He lowered her gently to the bed. He stroked her face and softly called her name. She remained unresponsive.

He didn't panic. He remembered she told him that sometimes she would go into a coma after a time jump. He needed a doctor to evaluate her.

"Cas, Tara is having a medical emergency. I need to talk to Ryland."

Less than five seconds later, a screen descended from the ceiling with Ryland appearing.

"What's wrong with Tara?"

"She seemed to faint or lose consciousness. I thought it might be the time jump thing."

"That's probably it, but we need to check. Cas doesn't take orders from a screen, so you need to tell her you need a Tara pack from the medical unit. I'll explain after you tell her."

Jax gave Ryland's instructions to Cas.

"Tara's gone into the coma like state several times. For Paralorns, it's normal that if we get really sick, our bodies go into a hibernation mode and it fights until it gets better and we wake up. It begins happening from birth so kids and adults know that it's going to happen. We get a couple of hours warning, so we have enough time to tell others and get to a safe place to recover.

"Hybrids don't seem to get as much warning. I think Tara's coma-like state is her body's way of healing. When she comes out of this state, she's weak and it takes her awhile to get her strength back. I've come up with a way to get her better faster with supplements. She'll move from this coma-like state to a sleep state and in eight to ten hours, she'll feel great."

One of the fighting robots walked into the room with a large thick envelope and handed it to Jax. It paused for a few seconds and when it didn't receive additional instructions, it left the room.

"Open the envelope and lay the contents out on your bed."

Jax pulled out what looked like a fabric tie belt, several plastic bags each containing a bright colored liquid and a smaller bag that contained colored capsules.

"Done."

"You are going to need to expose her skin at the navel area, then take the thing that looks like a cloth belt and locate the white circle. Put that over her navel. It has to be in contact with her bare skin to work."

Once the circle came into contact with Tara's skin, the circle glowed white.

"That's a standard medical monitor," Ryland explained. "Through a sort of wi-fi connection, I have the results in front of me," Ryland paused and looked down for several seconds. "It's just as we thought. It's a time jump complication plus she gave blood, so she's very weak."

Jax took some of the blame for Tara's condition. He should have made her rest and not let her fight with the robots. Then again, there was no stopping Tara when her mind was made up.

"We fought with the robots too," Jax added.

Ryland shook his head.

"She should have known better, but you know how stubborn she can be."

"Amen to that," Jax said drily.

Ryland laughed.

The belt displayed four circles, one each of red, green, blue and yellow in a line each next to the other.

"Take the bags that match the monitor colors. Those are the bags she needs."

Jax picked up the bags.

"This is really easy. See the white circle on the bag."

"Yes."

"Take the bag and go to Tara's hands. It doesn't matter the order or the position. The color is the only choice that matters. On the back of her hand, you will find different veins and arteries. Find one that you can feel and put the white circle over it. Give it a second and you should see a suction begin. That lets you know it's in the right spot. Carefully put her hand on top of the bag without dislodging the white circle. Now turn her hand over, at the wrist put another bag's white circle over one of the veins or arteries. It's OK if it's over more than one. Repeat on the other side with the other two bags."

"It's all done," Jax said.

Ryland looked down to check the medical monitor.

"Everything looks good. The monitor is constantly adjusting the flow of the drugs and supplements into her system. If the other two colors show, then you will see that two of the circles will have turned black. Just remove those colored bags and replace with the one or two the monitor instructs you to. The circles will turn black when you need to remove the bag, but it shuts off automatically, so if you don't remove the bag for awhile, it's OK. That's it. I'll be monitoring her from here. If there's a problem, the lights flash and there's a loud beeping noise. I'll get a message and I'll call you. I don't think that's going to happen."

"She's not in danger of dying, is she?"

"No. Even without medical intervention, she would live. We're just making her recovery better."

"Are these packs just for Tara?"

"I put them together based on her medical condition, but someone else can use them for their medical purposes. I designed their delivery system so a nonmedical person can use them."

"Is there anything else I can do?"

"Whatever you want to do. You don't need to watch over her. If you want to go back and workout or fight with the robots, you can do that. Just tell Cas you want to monitor Tara and she'll give you a screen showing Tara and the monitors. If you want to sleep beside her, you can tell Cas to make the bed bigger. You won't have to worry about disturbing the bags then."

"Tara told me that you don't have a problem if she sleeps with me," Jax said.

There are some discussions best had when it isn't possible to physically injure the other person. Jax thought this was the best time to have this conversation. He didn't have to restrain himself from punching Ryland.

"You don't mean sleep. You mean sex."

"Yeah, Tara told me you don't have a problem if she has sex with me."

"I want Tara to do whatever she feels she needs to in order to decide who she wants to spend the rest of her life with. If having sex with you helps her decide, I am fine with it, but I don't think she will need to do that in order to figure it out."

"Just to restate my position, I don't like you fucking my wife. I am not OK with that."

"I got that the first time you told me. We didn't have sex last night if that's what this is about. The reason had nothing to do with you though. I got an emergency call and I had to leave. That's the only reason she didn't spend the night with me. I am not going to quit having sex with Tara unless she breaks it off. I love her and having sex with her is an extension of that."

"It isn't going to be for very much longer," Jax warned.

"I just want Tara to be happy. It's that simple. If she's happier being with you than with me, I want her to choose you. I also get that this isn't a decision she can make quickly."

"Until she makes a decision, I don't think she should have sex with either of us."

Ryland chuckled.

"Nice try. Did you really think that was going to work?"

"Not really," Jax admitted.

"How is the robot fighting going?"

"I'm getting close to being able to knock them both out," Jax said. It was a little wishful thinking and a whole lot of exaggeration.

"Impressive. I know when Salazar kidnapped Tara, you didn't hesitate to trade yourself for her. I know you will watch out for her and protect her with your life if needed. You need to learn to fight against Paralorns. It's harder to render us immobile or dead. The robots can teach you these skills."

"And why would I have to defend Tara against Paralorns?"

"No reason. I'm a doctor. I'm always preparing for things that will probably never happen."

Jax knew Ryland was lying.

"When I get back, we can fight." Ryland suggested.

"I would enjoy that."

Ryland grinned.

"Especially if you managed to kick my ass. When Tara wakes up, make sure she eats and then takes the little packet of pills on the bed."

"Anything else I should know?"

"Just one last thing, after Tara wakes up, give her a couple of hours before you try to seduce her into ending our relationship again. End transmission."

The screen went blank.

 **Up Next for Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Jax is shocked when he discovers the Paralorns true end game and Tara's part in it and it isn't what you think. He meets with Meg and gets another surprise and that's not what you think. He continues to work at winning Tara's heart, mind and body.**

 **There are three big plot developments in the next chapter that will move the story in a new direction. And something really bad happens.**


	15. Chapter 15

15

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 14 Recap**

Jax finds out that Unser fathered a baby with Gemma and that she killed her immediately after giving birth. He also finds out that Gemma kept a journal. Tara collapses after she and Jax practice fighting with the robots. She's weak from stopping time, giving blood to save Donna's life and fighting robots. Jax contacts Ryland and he instructs Jax on medical procedures to help Tara recover more quickly.

 **Chapter 15 Tara's Hell**

While Tara was unconscious, Jax returned to the gym to use the fitness equipment and to fight with the robots. He was tired of being cooped up inside, but he wanted to watch over Tara, so he had to stay inside to keep an eye on the monitor Cas set up showing Tara in his room.

Being active felt good and the alien upgrade gave him not only increased strength but better endurance. Despite the pounding he'd taken at the hands of the robots, he only had a minor amount of discomfort. The robots were excellent teachers and he had picked up a lot of fighting techniques he wished he'd learned years ago.

Finally, when he was exhausted, he returned to his room. Two of Tara's bags needed changing. He replaced them being careful not to dislodge the two that were still attached to her wrists.

He was soaked in sweat so he took a quick shower, pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms and got into bed. Cas lit the room with soft light, low enough for sleep, but light enough for him to be able to check Tara's condition. He also had Cas increase the bed's size. Normally, he would have slept close with at least an arm or leg draped over Tara, but he didn't want to disturb her as long as the bags of fluid were still attached to her.

After a deep, dreamless sleep, Jax woke six hours later feeling rested with no stiffness and the perfect amount of pain—enough to make him feel like he had accomplished something but not enough to keep him from continuing the robot fighting and his grueling workouts. He decided to return to the gym. Tara was still sleeping.

He dressed quickly, not bothering with a shirt. It would just get soaked in sweat and he'd ended up taking it off.

When he returned from his two hour session with the gym equipment and the robots, he stripped and got into the shower. He dried himself off and went into the bedroom to pull on his boxers, followed by jeans and a light blue T-shirt. He sat on the bed to pull on his socks.

"Oh, shit! How the hell did that scorpion get here on the bed?" he paused for a moment. "Shit! It's on Tara now. I hope she doesn't move because it will sting her for sure. What the hell am I going to do? I've got to get it off her. It's a little scorpion. Shit! That's the worst. They are more toxic than the big ones. No, not toxic. I mean venomous. That's right. That's the word I was searching for.

"I remember when I got stung by one at an Arizona bike show. It hurt like a mother. If that stings her, it's going to cause excruciating pain. Should I try to knock it off her with my hand or use something to knock it off her? Oh, shit! It's on her _head_ now. Jesus! What the hell am I going to do? It's going to get tangled in her hair. It's going to sting the hell out of her head. Maybe I should ask Cas if they have any bug spray that could kill scorpions. I wonder if I could spray it before it stung her. I don't think that would work. The second I spray it, it's going to sting. Tara's just going to get stung.

"Maybe I could wait it out. Maybe it will just decide to leave. It should be OK _as long as Tara doesn't move_. Shit! It's making a _nest_. _In her hair!_ That can't be good. I have to knock it off her before it makes its nest."

Jax snapped his towel at Tara's head. She immediately jumped to her feet and began swatting at her hair.

"Did you get it? Is it still in my hair?"

Jax's body shook with laughter.

"That will teach you not to pretend to be asleep and then watch me shower. You want to watch me, darlin', do it with your eyes fully open cause you don't want to miss the show."

"No scorpion?"

He shook his head and began laughing again.

The bed was between them. Tara got up and walked around the bed until she was standing in front of Jax who was still sitting on the bed. She shoved him playfully by the shoulders.

"Bastard!"

"Remember the time you shoved me at CaraCara?" he asked her as he got to his feet. "We ended up having sex in the bathroom." (SOA Season 2)

"Of course. It was another stellar Teller performance."

"I like that Stellar Teller. Of course, you come up with that now that my name is no longer Teller."

"It would have just made your ego even bigger. I didn't want you to explode."

"Yeah, right. I can't believe you fell for the scorpion story. You got so stiff and still."

"Your acting was really bad and so was what you were saying. Very cheesy. I only fell for it because once you said scorpion, my fear just drove out everything including logic. There probably aren't even scorpions here. Wrong climate. I should have realized that if there had been a scorpion, you would have just knocked it to the floor and killed it. I freaked out when you told me it was making a nest in my hair. That was mean."

"Payback, baby. You faked being asleep. I could tell by the way you moved when I got back from another round of working out and robot fighting that you were awake. You had your eyes open just enough to see me."

"Now, why would I do that? It doesn't make any sense."

"Sure it does. You wanted to check me out again when I was in the shower."

"I only wanted to check you out to make sure that you didn't need any medical assistance after the robots kicked your ass and threw you to the ground so many times. It was professional. I wanted to make sure you didn't need any medical attention."

"You have my permission to ogle me all you want."

"I should have known you knew I was watching. You were doing shower poses."

"Shower poses?"

"You do shower poses when you think I'm watching."

"Or that's just the way I take a shower."

"You flex your muscles when I'm not watching?"

"OK, you got me there," Jax admitted, flashing her that Jax Turner (formerly Teller) grin. "I don't mind at all that you look at me. If you quit looking, then I'll know I'm in trouble. "You know," he said, slipping an arm around her waist, "you could help save water and join me in the shower. You are always welcome."

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

"You wish. All the Stellar Teller loving is just going to be a memory until you come to your senses and end things with Ryland."

"You're playing hardball, huh?"

"You're a doctor. You know that's not the part that gets hard."

"That's not what I . . ."

Jax didn't need to hear anymore. He kissed her long and hard, losing himself in the sexy way she smelled, the softness of her skin and the sweetness of her lips. No woman had ever compared to her.

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled herself closer to him as though she were trying to fuse her body to his.

"Umm . . . ," she said with a satisfied sigh as he released her. She sat down on the bed suddenly.

"Feeling a little dizzy?"

"Yeah, it's been awhile since you kissed me like that." (Tara's Still Perfectly Imperfect Christmas)

"Too long. You need to eat. Ryland told me you don't have much of an appetite after you collapse, but you need to eat to regain your strength and you have a packet of pills to take after you've eaten."

"Are you going to flip me on the floor and pin me down like you threatened to do back in high school when I didn't want to eat?" (Tara's Story)

"And pinch your nose closed so you have to open your mouth. Don't forget that part."

"Could we just eat in here?"

"Are you feeling OK?"

"Yeah, I just want to eat in here. It feels like a luxury, eating in bed."

"What do you feel like eating?"

Jax thought there was more to Tara's sudden desire to eat in bed. Whenever she wanted to talk to him about something important, she liked to do it in bed. He suspected that was behind her request. It was exactly what he didn't want—another relationship conversation.

"I'd like some indigo to calm me down a bit. I'm feeling a little jittery."

"There is something wrong. You just don't look right."

"Thanks a lot."

"I mean I think there's still something wrong with you. I think you should put that monitor belt around you and then have Ryland look at the results."

"No, I don't want to do that. I'm fine."

"Won't you do it for me?"

"No."

Tara grinned. She was the naughty child testing her caregiver's patience. Jax got that. He just needed a way to outsmart her.

"You want me to pin you down on the bed and put the monitor on you?"

"Yes or you could just pin me down on the bed. We've got this wonderful romantic lighting and when you pin a girl to a bed sometimes things just . . . happen."

Jax caught his breath and shut his eyes for a second to regain control. She was tormenting him using sex. She was diabolical and ruthless and he had _never_ wanted her more.

"OK, this is payback for the scorpion."

"Maybe or you are simply irresistible to me and most of the female population."

Jax pointed his finger at her.

"Remember this Tara, there will be consequences for your behavior."

She burst into laughter.

"Oh, no! I'm scared!"

"Just you wait," he tried to make his voice sound threatening, but he just sounded like every defeated parent who can't talk his kid into behaving.

"What are you going to do?"

"For now, I'm ordering lunch. Last chance to pick what you want or I'll make the decision for you."

"I'd like a vanilla or chocolate milkshake and some French fries and some indigo."

As much as Tara's sexual teasing frustrated him, he enjoyed this fun, playful side to her. When their relationship was at its best, it was light, happy and fun. They had just gotten so weighed down by all the MC shit that they, or mostly him, forgot to spend time together enjoying each other's company. He still couldn't understand how he could have put the MC ahead of Tara and his kids.

While he waited for the robots to make their food, he thought about what kind of father he wanted to be. He realized he had only seen one man who was a truly great father. That was Adam. He and Tara met him and his three kids during their first Christmas together as a couple when he surprised her with a getaway to a cabin in the snow. Adam had been a great father. He and his kids enjoyed spending time together. That was the kind of father he wanted to be. (Tara's Still Perfectly Imperfect Christmas)

He brought the food into his bedroom in two trips. Tara was sitting cross-legged on his bed, her back against the wall. She had changed into a crimson V-necked shirt and she'd cleaned up a bit because the hair around her face was a little damp.

"How are you feeling?" Jax asked. He put their plates down and handed her the vanilla milkshake she requested.

"Better. I'm usually really foggy and weak, but Ryland's Tara packs are great. Thank you for taking care of me. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you to call Ryland."

"It was actually OK. He was very professional and told me exactly what I needed to do."

"It's been awhile since you took care of me. Even when my wrist was injured, I didn't need much help."

"I think you needed help, I was just too busy with the MC to see it."

"I remember that I needed to carry a gun with me _in the house_."

"That was a crazy hell. I see SAMCRO so differently now. I feel like I was in a cult and now I'm free."

"I hoped that you would get to that realization. I'm just surprised that you got there so quickly."

"The conversion kind of helped me see things differently. Like I gained wisdom or something."

"That's common with hybrids."

They finished their food and Jax cleared their dishes away and returned with two glasses filled with indigo.

Tara stretched her legs out in front of her and took one of the glasses from Jax.

"So, what do you want to talk to me about?"

"Am I that transparent?"

"We've got a lot of history. You like to have discussions in bed."

"I just want you to understand why it's so hard for me to make a decision about you and Ryland."

Jax took a quick gulp of his indigo. Another relationship talk. That's what hell must be like—a never ending relationship talk. Well, there was plenty of indigo thanks to Cas and the robots, so there was a bright side.

"So tell me."

"Donna and I talked a lot when I first came back. She told me that when she returned, she couldn't bear to see anything of Opie's life or her kids. It hurt too much for her to see them struggle and there was nothing she could do to help. She sort of thought of them as dead. She left California and went to live with some Paralorns in Maine. She built herself a new life."

"Did that include a boyfriend?"

"I don't think so. Anyway, I wanted to take her advice, but I couldn't. You know me; I always have to do things the hard way. I wanted to see what was going on with you and the kids. It turns out that Donna was right about not watching what was going on because it was too painful.

"Watching the kids was like a dagger to the heart especially seeing them with Gemma. I knew she would poison their minds. I could already see signs of it in Abel. Can you imagine how scared he must have been when he realized that she killed me?"

"I'm worried about Abel. Once we figure out our future, we'll be able to help Abel get through all the Gemma poison. You were right to try to get our boys away from her toxic influence."

"Did you know that she told him that one day he would patch in to SAMCRO and be its president?"

"I don't remember hearing her say that, but it doesn't surprise me. It's back to the cult thing. You get the kids in too."

Tara finished her indigo.

"I'm getting another drink. Do you want one?"

"Sure," he said, draining his glass.

He knew Tara so well. It was this next part that was going to contain the emotional punch to the gut he knew was coming.

She handed him another glass of indigo before curling up on the bed with her glass.

"Humans fall in love. Paralorns fall in love but they also begin to develop an empathy bond. It holds the relationship together. Once Paralorns are married for two or three years, they rarely ever divorce. That bond is too strong."

"Are you trying to tell me that you have formed this bond with Ryland?" Jax's voice was calm, but inside he felt like he was about to get bitch slapped by reality again.

"No. I've only known Ry a couple of weeks. I'm talking about us. If we get back together, we will build this empathy bond. You got a taste of it when you had to experience all the pain you have caused me and I experienced that when I watched what was happening to you after I died. The Paralorns are very good at helping hybrids stay in touch with their former lives if they make that choice. Between the bug in your cut and all the monitors they had placed, I saw much of what was happening to you.

"I know when you felt the pain you have caused me, that was difficult for you. When I watched your life, I can't really figure out the words that describe what I felt, other than it felt like I was in hell. When you experienced how you hurt me, at least you knew that I was OK. I had gotten through everything."

"Adding Gemma taking over with the kids, you must have been out of your mind with misery."

Tara nodded.

"I would watch and I couldn't stop no matter how bad it made me feel. Do you think that's the way it is when you die? You see your loved ones living their lives and you suffer when they suffer and you can't help them?"

"I hope not."

"Watching our boys with Gemma. Thomas is too young to have any memories, but I worried that he was neglected. He should be crawling and trying to talk. Poor Abel. I worried that he would be so scarred with everything he's gone through that he'll end up messed up for the rest of his life."

"I'd spend a few minutes with them here and there, but I wasn't a father. You did most of the parenting because I was too busy pretending to be a brother instead of being a real father."

"Watching what was happening with our boys was bad enough, but Jax, watching you almost killed me. I saw you in prison and watched you brutalize another inmate. When I watched you torture and kill the guy Gemma pointed out as the one who killed me, I felt pure hate for Gemma. I wanted to kill her and not with some nice little bullet to the brain. She knew what her lies would do to you. She saw your torment. She did nothing to help you."

"Ryland told me he had to sedate you after you watched me kill the Chinese guy."

"Did he tell you anything else?"

"He mentioned you were upset over the incident in prison."

"It went beyond that. Ry's the only person who knows this. I was helping him in the medical unit. They have a lot of drugs. I took some and I thought about killing myself. I couldn't stand the pain of watching, but I couldn't stand not watching. I just didn't want to hurt anymore. Ry figured it out before I could end my life. I don't know if I would have taken that step and used the drugs to kill myself. I hated myself for being weak and for being a coward. He helped me find my strength."

"I understand why he's important to you."

"When Donna told me about creating another life, I thought that he could be the answer. I tried to figure out my life. I didn't know that you would end up dead. I always thought you would find some way out. I also had no idea it would happen so soon. Ry's in love with me. I'm not in love with him, but I do love him. He's been really great to me. I started to see my future with him. I think that with some more time, I might eventually fall in love with him."

"I think you are mistaking gratitude for love," Jax said with surprising gentleness.

Tara looked down at her glass of indigo.

"There's a lot to be said for being with someone who makes me feel safe."

"And you'll never have to worry that he'll spin out of control," Jax added.

Tara continued to stare into her glass of indigo. She could have the conversation with Jax, but she couldn't look at him.

"No and I know that he and I could be happy."

"What about us?"

"I don't know."

"So this isn't a decision?"

She shook her head.

"No. I'm still working my way through it. I just want you to understand why this is so hard for me."

"You're worried that we'll build this empathy bond and I'll put you through hell like I did when you were watching me on monitors at the prison and in the house."

She nodded, still unable to look at him.

"You don't know Ryland that well. It's only been a few weeks."

"My mother, Meg, knows him well."

"Is she pushing you into a relationship with him?"

"No. She just wants me to be happy."

"So do I. The Jax you saw spinning out of control is dead literally. I'm not that person anymore. I've grown up through that death experience."

She finally lifted her chin and looked into his sky blue eyes.

"I see that. I like the person you're becoming. I just need some time."

"You told Ryland that I was using sex to get you to break up with him."

Tara's face flushed and she went back to looking into her glass of indigo.

"I did. As soon as the words left my lips, I realized that I was wrong to mention it. I should have kept that between us. I'm sorry."

"That was quick."

She shrugged.

"There's no point arguing. I was wrong. It's this new Jax that has me completely off balance. I never imagined that you would turn down sex."

"I surprised myself, but old Jax was sex first and think maybe later or not at all. New Jax, thinks first. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I want to prove to you that you can trust me. I'm with you by choice and not because hybrids have limited sexual options."

"Donna told me something interesting."

"With the way you're smiling at me, I'm guessing it has to do with sex. I really don't need details about Donna and Opie's sex life."

"Not details," she said with a smile. "Donna told me that hybrid sex is off the charts great. Longer and better than anything you can imagine."

Tara finished drinking her indigo and put the empty glass on the nightstand. Jax stood up and put his empty glass next to hers.

"You enjoy tormenting me, don't you?"

She grinned and nodded her head.

"Is that the truth about hybrid sex?"

"Cross my heart," she said, unbuttoning the top three buttons on her crimson top.

"You are a very bad girl."

He grabbed her ankles and pulled her down onto the bed. He straddled her and pinned her to the bed, one hand easily holding her wrists.

"I like where this is going."

"Too bad for you it's not going anywhere. This whole sexual control thing isn't that hard. And remember one thing, I may decide I like not having sex with you. Maybe I'll learn to love celibacy. How are you going to feel about that?"

 **NEXT UP Deja Vu All Over Again _The Story Will Completely Change After This Chapter_**

Jax learns from Meg the alien's real end game. Tara torments Jax. Ryland returns. Tara makes an important decision. And the three bad things that I've been mentioning for what has seemed like years will actually happen.

This chapter looks fluffy and not much has happened, but their conversations are laying the groundwork for some future plot developments. It was important for Tara to tell Jax just how his spinning out of control hurt Theher. It's also important to see Jax and Tara changing and trying to figure out their relationship. You get glimpses of what their relationship looked like when they were happy before the MC destroyed everything and you see that it's worth fighting for.

 **NEXT UP FOR ME**

Finishing and posting the last chapter of Tara's Still Perfectly Imperfect Christmas next week. The week after that, I'll post the JaxAlive chapter I've been mentioning.


	16. Chapter 16

24

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 15 Recap**

Jax removes the bags of fluids from Tara's hands and wrists and sleeps beside her. She's still asleep the next morning, so he returns to the gym and works out and fights with the robots. Tara fakes being asleep when Jax takes a shower, so she can watch. He pays her back by pretending to see a scorpion on her.

Tara tells him how painful it was for her to watch him spiral out of control. She confesses that she was thinking about killing herself and Ryland helped her. Jax suggests her feelings for Ryland might be gratitude and not love.

Tara continues her efforts to seduce Jax, who is displaying a shocking amount of self-control.

 **Chapter 16 Déjà vu All Over Again**

 **Author's Note**

 **This chapter has been in my head and plotted out since the first chapter of this story. There is a passage that is a little explicit and lots of words that some consider bad are used. I don't use a lot of profanity when I write because it has more impact when I do use it. Just wanted to warn any delicate eyes out there. SOA isn't a G rated show, so you have to expect it.**

Jax just finished taking a cold shower with the bathroom closed for once. Aside from a lot of sexual frustration, Jax was feeling good about his future. Tara had basically told him that she was only with Ryland out of gratitude. It wouldn't be long before she would decide she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with a man she wasn't in love with when she could have the man she'd loved since she was sixteen. He was pleased with how well his strategy of refusing to have sex with Tara until she broke off her relationship with Ryland was working. Who knew a woman could be manipulated by withholding sex?

He wondered about what Tara had told him about hybrid sex being better than human sex. If that were true, he and Tara would have to spend a few days in bed and there would be no sleeping involved. He grinned at the thought.

His life was looking golden to him now. All he needed to do was to figure out what kind of career he wanted. All he'd wanted since he was five was a Harley and a cut. A lot of that was him, but Gemma and JT also played roles.

Now, he had the freedom to pick a new job to go with his new life. The possibilities threatened to overwhelm him, so he focused on something that he could wrap his mind around—what Tara told him about watching him fall apart after her death.

What hurt the most was Tara thought of him as weak. She had seen him at the two lowest points in his life when Abel was kidnapped and when she was killed. He had despised his father at times for what he thought was weakness. He wasn't much better. He could never fall apart or hit bottom again. New Jax was stronger and tougher.

Gemma watched him fall apart and spin more and more out of control too. She didn't seem to find it distressing. At the party for SAMCRO's new porn studio Red Woody, she pointed out the guy she saw running from the house after Tara's murder. Gemma knew she was marking an innocent man for death. He doubted she gave a second thought to the man he'd killed believing he was responsible for Tara's death. All she cared about was pushing the blame away from her.

He remembered walking into his grandfather's garden to kill Gemma. He would never forget the sickly sweet smell of roses and the sound of crickets. He could recall the scent perfectly. He hoped he would never see or smell another rose as long as he lived. She had gone to her death without pleading for mercy. She had even encouraged him. She told him it was who they were as people. Jesus Christ! What kind of mother does that?

He hoped like hell that wasn't who _he_ was as a person. He would never raise his boys like that. He would have Tara by his side to make sure he didn't make the same mistakes his mother had made with him. There was an unswerving goodness in Tara. If she hadn't been in his life, he would have turned into the monster she feared he'd become that day at the park, the same day Gemma killed her.

Tara truly loved him and that's why it had ripped her apart to see how he was suffering and destroying his life. She was the only person who loved him for who he was as a person. She got to know him and fell in love with that person. To her, he was always more than some hot blonde guy. A lot of girls were with guys because they belonged to the MC. Tara loved him in spite of the MC. She broke the law and treated gunshot wounds without reporting it, putting her career at risk all because she loved him.

His feelings about his mother were a complex mix of love and hate. He didn't know how he could have been so wrong about her. She smothered him with her love, but maybe it wasn't love. Maybe it was all just about control. Gemma wanted to bend him into the shape she wanted him to take. He fought her and carved out his own life, but that hadn't ended well.

In the end, the only true love Gemma had was SAMCRO. She helped build the MC, but she could never be a member, only an old lady. She pushed JT to become president. She had helped position Clay for president. She had done the same for him. It gave her power and prestige and her MC empire would go on after her death. Some men created kingdoms or political dynasties; Gemma had created an outlaw motorcycle club. She had done it so cleverly, the men she used to do it never even caught on.

He wondered if Gemma gave any thought to what he was going to do after he killed her. Did she know that in killing her, he was also passing a death sentence on himself? Or did she only care that he had a son that she'd primed for SAMCRO and she thought her MC legacy was secured? Poor troubled Abel. At least, he would be free from her legacy of poison and crime.

His happy optimistic mood was gone. He needed to think about something other than his mother. It was going to take him a long time to work out his feelings for Gemma. He might not ever succeed in coming to terms with everything that had gone on between them. It was hard to reconcile the mother that bandaged his scrapes when he was a kid with the mother that urged him to kill her a only a few days ago.

In retrospect, he should have known anytime he thought of Gemma, his thoughts would turn dark. He went back to thinking about sex. It was his default whenever he needed something to think about. His mind just automatically went there. If women were honest, he was sure they would admit the same thing. Thinking about sex always lightened his mood even when the prospects for getting any were hours or even days away.

Tara told him she needed to spend time in the medical unit working on something for Ryland. He had finished memorizing all the details of his new identity while Tara had been hooked up to the Tara packs. Cas had even quizzed him on the details.

He decided to go hiking while he thought about sex. Just as he was about to leave, Cas announced that Ryland would be there in five minutes. He delayed his hike to wait for Ryland. He wanted to be there to protect his territory. He thought his presence would keep Tara from having sex with Ryland—well at least it would keep her from having sex in _front_ of him. The days that Ryland could have sex with his wife were coming to an end. It could even happen that day.

He had been an idiot. He didn't think it would bother him if Tara had sex with another man. He knew she'd been with Kohn and he'd been OK with that. Of course, that had been in the _past_. The only time he experienced any jealousy was during the beginning of their relationship when he thought there might be something between Tara and Hale. (Tara's Story) She was faithful. She didn't even _flirt_ with guys. Tara had never given him a reason to be jealous, or at least not that he knew of anyway.

He was only possessive about two things, his bike and his cut. Now, both were worthless to him. Tara and his boys were all that mattered to him. His priorities for his life were finally right.

His jealousy kept growing. The more he thought about Tara allowing Ryland, or any man, touch her the way she let him, made him furious. He was smart enough to know displaying anger wouldn't help. He just had to keep his focus on getting Tara back.

Short term hell for long term happiness. That was going to be new Jax's motto. That and instead of thinking about something bad like abused dogs and shit like that, think about sex. Unless it's jealousy. Thinking about sex when overcome with jealousy only made it worse. He decided to write this down later for his boys, so they wouldn't screw up their lives.

When Ryland walked into the retreat, Jax appraised him for the first time. He was an inch or two shorter than he was with dark hair and gray eyes. Women would find him attractive, but there was a sort of remoteness about him. He just seemed cold.

"Tara's down in the medical unit," Jax said by way of greeting.

"I know. I was just talking to her. I'm here to do your fingerprints. Once that's done, you will be able to return to the world. If you want to fight now, we can do that. You won't be able to do that for a day or so when I do your fingerprints. Afterwards, I'm going to eat. While I grab a couple of hours of sleep, Tara can do the first part of the fingerprint procedure."

"I'll meet you in the gym after I change," Jax said.

"OK."

Ryland had changed into his dark blue work out clothes and was waiting for Jax in the gym.

"How many robots do you want to start out fighting?"

"I thought we were fighting each other." Jax said.

"I'm not going to fight you. I thought we could fight the robots together."

"A team building exercise," Jax said with a mocking edge to his voice.

"I'm not going to fight you. Hybrids are stronger than Paralorns. I'm pretty well trained, but I would be no match for you."

Jax didn't bother to conceal his disappointment. He had been looking forward to beating Ryland the way the robots beat him.

He decided to go ahead and fight with Ryland. Maybe it would help him get a better understanding of him and knowing his enemy could be useful.

They began by fighting two robots and added in robots until they were fighting four robots together. Jax was surprised at how much fun he had robot fighting with Ryland. As they worked together, Ryland's aloof façade slowly came down and Jax found he liked him.

After almost an hour of fighting, they took a break. Ryland asked Cas for beer. As they sat on the gym mats, beer bottles in hand, Jax realized that Ryland had just outplayed him.

"This was all designed to get me to like you," Jax said.

"To help fit into this world, I watched a lot of movies. This is the moment in the film when the two love rivals fight a common enemy together and become friends."

"I understand your comment about being rivals and not enemies now. I wouldn't go as far as calling you a friend."

Ryland finished his beer and asked Cas for another round.

"Whether you or I end up with Tara, we are going to see each other. Tara's mother is the Queen and I am a member of the council. It's better if we can get along."

"OK. You know she's only with you because she's grateful for your help in getting her through the conversion."

Ryland drained his second bottle of beer.

"I think there may be some truth in that when we first got together. I was reluctant to take things to a romantic level with her for that reason. I know she loves me."

"It's not romantic love," Jax said.

"It is for me. My wife died twenty-five years ago from a sickness that is similar to leukemia. After about ten years, I began to date. Tara's the only woman apart from my wife that I've ever been in love with. It's not a casual relationship for me. I believe with more time, Tara will fall in love with me."

"There's more to Tara and me too. She's loved me longer and we have a destiny together."

"If that's true than she will pick you or maybe your destiny resulted in your son and that was as far as your destiny went."

"I think Tara is reluctant to break things off with you because she doesn't want to hurt you," Jax said battling back. He was used to fighting with his fists. Fighting with words was new, but he was learning quickly.

"She's afraid you'll fall apart," Ryland countered.

"Did she tell you that?" Jax demanded.

"So much for team building. You want to do another short round of robot fighting?"

"Sure," Jax said getting to his feet.

As they worked together to beat up the robots, some of their former comradery returned. Jax got the lesson he thought Ryland was trying to teach him; they can work together as a team yet fight it out over Tara.

Jax realized that the key to winning Tara back wasn't about tearing Ryland down. That would only make her defensive. Instead, he just needed to stay on his path of using sex or, more accurately, the lack of sex to remind her of what they had together and what they could have again.

Ryland was more competition than he realized. Behind the chilly façade was a decent guy. He understood now what Tara saw in him. He reminded him a little of Hale. If they both weren't in love with the same woman, they might even have been friends.

After they finished another twenty minutes of robot fighting, they went upstairs. Tara was sitting on the sofa watching TV. She looked at both men carefully.

"Doesn't look like any blood's been spilled," she said.

"The robots don't bleed," Jax said.

"Or we would be covered in blood," Ryland added.

"I'm hungry. Are we all eating together?" Tara asked.

The men agreed and walked off to take showers.

"Hey, I have a professional question for you," Jax said in a low voice before Ryland could disappear into his room. "Tara told me that male hybrids can only have sex with other hybrids and Paralorns. They can't get hard for human girls."

Ryland looked at Jax and laughed like it was the funniest joke he had ever heard.

"That's between you and Tara," Ryland said before shutting the door to his bedroom behind him.

As they sat at the dining table and ate a perfectly prepared medium rare steak, baked potato with sour cream and butter and green beans with bacon Southern style, Jax wondered if Tara ever checked out Ryland in the shower, but most of all, he wondered if Tara lied to him about hybrids not being able to have sex with human females. Could that be why Ryland thought it was so funny? Or was he laughing because it was true? Would Tara lie to him about something like that? Damn, he hated not knowing!

He only half listened to the conversation about Tara's half-brother back on Rackle, their home world. He had the same disease that killed Ryland's wife. In the last five years, he and some others had come up with a cure that worked on Earth. They were hoping it would work on the Rackle strains as well.

That was one of the points in Ryland's favor; he could talk medicine with Tara. What did he really have in common with Tara apart from the kids? Their past. That was about it. For a day that had begun so promisingly, it was all sliding downhill to the land of shit.

He was still hotter than Ryland. It all came back to his firm belief that if you get the sex right, the relationship is right. He doubted Ryland had the same level of sexual heat with Tara. He couldn't be a better lover and even if he were a better lover (and there was an almost nonexistent chance of that), he couldn't compete with Stellar Teller with the hybrid sex advantage.

"Meg is coming," Tara announced. "She will be here in a couple of hours. She wants to officially meet Jax."

"While I get some sleep, it would be great if you could do the first part of the fingerprint process, Tara."

"I'm glad that you trust me to do it."

"Anyone having dessert?" Ryland asked.

"Maybe later," Jax said.

"I was thinking it would be nice to gather around and eat dessert together in a couple of hours depending on how long Jax and Meg's meeting lasts," Tara said.

"What's for dessert?" Ryland asked.

"I told the robots to make cherry cheesecake. Oops. I mean I told Cas we wanted cherry cheesecake and she instructed the robots."

"Perfect meal and a perfect for later dessert," Ryland said. "I'll see you in a couple of hours."

"Let's go downstairs and I'll get started on your fingerprints," Tara said.

"Are you surprised there wasn't any bloodshed?"

"I was hopeful that the two of you could find a way to get along."

"I don't hate him. If we both weren't in love with you, we might even be friends."

Jax was adding to his plan to get Tara back. Instead of demonizing Ryland, it would be better to show Tara that he could get along with Ryland. He was taking the mature approach. It was all part of the new Jax.

They went down to the medical unit and Tara donned a white lab coat.

"You are official now," Jax said.

"I just don't want to get the stuff on my clothes."

Tara was wearing dark wash jeans with a deep fuchsia sweater that emphasized her full sexy breasts.

"It's a pretty easy procedure. There are just a lot of steps. The part that Ry's going to do is a short process, but it takes a lot of surgical skill. Ry is an amazing surgeon. I watched while he did my fingerprints. I wouldn't advise you to do that though. You don't feel pain, but you do feel some of the pulling and then there's the laser. There's also a burned flesh smell. It was tough for me to watch at times."

"I don't think it would bother me."

"Jax, just trust me. It's tough to watch. I only wanted to stay awake for the procedure so I could learn how it was done."

"OK."

Tara told Cas to list on a white board the procedures for removing fingerprints and to get all the materials she needed.

"I watched while Ry did my fingerprints on one hand and then I did the other. With the procedures, it just helps me remember everything. I will remove your fingerprints, put a healing cream over them that activates with a laser. I'll remove that and then a magnifying device will make sure all traces of your prints are gone. Once I've done that, then I'll put on another gel that will prepare your hands for the surgical procedure. You will have to wear special gloves to keep your hands sterile until Ry does the fingerprint procedure."

"How do you know the prints you are giving me aren't in the system?"

"The Paralorns are like us. They have unique fingerprints. They knew they might need to change identities and they knew that eventually humans would have the technology to store the prints. They collected more than 100,000 prints from dead bodies 70 years ago before the tech existed. Once a set of prints is used, it's destroyed so it can never be used again."

"It seems like they've thought of everything."

"They've had 75 years to get it right. This is going to burn a bit," Tara warned as she began to apply the bright green gel to his hands with a cotton swab.

"You are doing my whole hand?"

"Yes because palm prints are also unique and it's an easier procedure to do the whole front of the hand."

"It's good seeing you as a doctor again."

"It's nice to be able to use my education."

Jax sat in a chair that reminded him of a chair in a dental office. Tara wiped the gel off and reapplied it several times before applying the healing cream.

"Cas send the healing laser down," Tara said.

A black hand-sized box descended from the ceiling. Tara swung it over to Jax's hand.

"Rest your hand on the bottom of the box palm up. Spread your fingers. I'll start the laser and it will make multiple passes over your hand. It will quit when the optimal level of healing is reached."

"There's a laser inside this box?"

"Yes, they have some amazing devices. It would be great to share them with the world. It could do so much good especially for injured soldiers and burn patients, but keeping the Paralorns presence secret is the first priority. Nothing will ever take precedence over that."

"What happens if someone tries to tell?"

"They get killed like rats in an MC only they are even more intense about it."

"I get that."

Tara switched the laser on. After about fifteen minutes, the laser quit and Cas told Tara that the laser had completed the job.

Tara pressed a button on the box and a circular clear glass swung out. When Tara placed it over Jax's hand, a light turned on.

"There's a sensor in this glass looking thing that will spot any areas I might have missed."

The glass beeped and highlighted four small places on Jax's hand. Tara reapplied the green gel to the areas, wiped it off and reapplied it two more times before applying the healing cream. Once again, his hand was put in the box and the laser passed over it. This time when Tara checked his hand with the glass, there were no areas that were highlighted.

Tara repeated the process with his other hand. It was a long painstaking process. This time when Tara checked his hand with the glass, only one area was highlighted. She repeated the treatment on the area and it passed the glass check.

"When the glass was checking your hands, it was also taking measurements. It will go through the hand print casts to find the best fit and then use it as a mold. Liquid artificial skin is put into the mold. It sets and out pops your new hand and fingerprints all in one piece. The process makes several casts because it's so easy to tear the skin when it's applied and you can't use torn skin. Once the skin is successfully attached to both hands, the mold is destroyed."

Jax looked at his bright red hands. The skin was smooth with no lines.

"Can't get my palm read now. That's pretty amazing."

Tara wrapped Jax's hands in bright purple plastic.

"Give it a couple of minutes and it will mold to your hands. It will keep your hands sterile and safe until Ry can apply the new fingerprints."

Just then, Ryland appeared on a screen that descended from the ceiling. He told them he was ready to do the fingerprint procedure.

"Did you get enough sleep?" Tara asked.

"I'm good. I'll be down in about ten minutes," Ry said before the screen went dark.

"Can I see your hands?" Jax asked Tara.

She held her hands up.

He touched them and looked at them carefully searching for a scar or any sign that her hands had surgery.

"No scars?"

"None and Ry fixed my wrist so it's better and I'm scar free. I didn't have the nerve to watch him do that surgery. Your surgery will take about an hour total. It depends partly on how well the fingerprint cast fits on your hand. The better the fit, the easier the surgery. I'm going to give you something to drink. It will make you fall asleep and when you wake up, the surgery will be over."

Jax drank the small cup of colorless liquid and handed the empty cup back to Tara. Ryland walked in at that moment. Everything began to get blurry. He wasn't sleepy; it was more like the time he accidentally got dosed with LSD at an MC show in Vegas. Now, he could see lots of spinning lights and then everything went black.

Whatever Tara gave him must not have worked. Just as he was about to open his eyes and tell Tara that the medicine didn't make him fall asleep, he thought he heard the word "sex". This conversation was too tantalizing to miss.

"How much longer do you think he'll be out?" Tara asked.

"About another fifteen minutes."

"I really love the way Paralorns view sex. You are so much more . . ."

"Evolved?" Ryland suggested.

"That's it. I mean you are OK if I sleep with you and Jax. Jax isn't always the easiest person to deal with. I've always felt this intense pressure to fake it when I don't reach the top of the mountain."

"That's something you should be able to talk to him about."

"I know, but how am I going to explain it and not hurt his feelings? It's just easier to keep faking it."

"How many times have you faked orgasm with Jax?"

"Every single time."

"That surprises me because we don't have that problem."

"I know. I can climax four or five times with you."

"If you ever have sex with him again, just start over from that point on and don't fake it."

Son of a bitch! How the hell could Tara discuss his sexual inadequacies with Ryland! _And what sexual inadequacies?_ How the hell could she even _fault_ his sexual ability! He had _never_ gotten a complaint and he'd been with more women than he could even count. What the fuck? Son of a bitch! She faked it _every_ time? Fuck! Shit! Damn! Maybe he was in hell. Fuck! Shit! Damn! _Hell!_

Tara began laughing and Ryland joined in.

"Scorpion payback," Tara gasped and then began laughing again.

Jax opened his eyes and looked at them.

"I wasn't fooled," Jax said.

"You were," Ryland said. "We're medical professionals. We knew you were awake."

"Your head was twitching a little bit," Tara added, "the way it does when you're really mad."

Jax shook his head and laughed.

"OK, you got me."

Maybe his ego did get kind of out of control at times, but a man without swagger was just ordinary. He had always wanted more for himself than being average. He could laugh at himself, especially now that he found out it was a joke and Tara's complaints were all made up or were they?

As unlikely as it seemed, the joke Tara and Ryland played on Jax bonded the three of them together. Between the robot fighting and the joke, Jax and Ryland had formed a relationship that was short of friendship but it had come a long way from the tense simmering feud of earlier days.

"I wrapped your hands with that shrink wrap stuff again. I'll monitor them and make sure there aren't any problems. I should be able to permanently remove the covering tomorrow," Tara said.

"It didn't feel like any time passed. I didn't think you did the surgery. It doesn't even hurt."

"The surgery went very smoothly and Tara did part of your left hand. She's a quick learner and a gifted surgeon."

Cas announced that Lorna and her staff would be there in ten minutes.

"Why don't your go ahead and go upstairs," Tara suggested to Ryland. "I need to tell Jax a couple of things."

"OK. I'll let Lorna know. I want to get changed out of scrubs before she gets here," Ryland said. He left the medical unit.

"Who is Lorna?"

"In the Paralorn language, Lorna is their word for queen. Lorne is the word for king, lorner is the word for prince and lorness is the word for princess."

"What do I call your mother then? Lorna?"

"Yes. I'm the only one who calls her Meg. If it's an etiquette thing and if I need to call her Lorna, she will let me know. She always meets the new hybrids that have gone through the conversion. I really like her. I'm kind of getting a chance at having a mother again."

"Is there anything else I should know?"

"I think that's it."

"So that we're clear here, you really haven't been faking it, right?"

Tara laughed.

"I love tormenting you."

"I'd prefer that sentence without the word "tormenting" in it."

Tara didn't need to say it. He could see it in her eyes. She was still in love with him. It wouldn't be long before they were really back together.

Ryland walked into the medical unit with Lorna. She wasn't wearing her homeless woman's clothing anymore. Her dark brown hair was cut in a chic bob that swung forward skimming her shoulders and her eyes were the same shade of brown as Tara's. She was wearing black pants and a long sleeved black sweater.

Lorna held her hand out to Jax. He shook her hand and bowed his head slightly.

"It's nice to meet you Jax Turner."

"Lorna."

She released Jax's hand and gave Tara a hug. It was odd to see Tara with her mother because they appeared so close together in age thanks to the benefits of how the Paralorns showed age.

"I was hoping to have a long conversation with you. I have answers to give you, but there's a problem with a member of my council over a container we're sending to Rackle. I should be able to deal with him over a video connection, but it's highly sensitive and I am going to have to leave to deal with him in person. Let's have coffee and dessert and then I will have to leave. Paralorns love sweets. We rarely say no to dessert."

"The robots made your favorite cherry cheesecake," Tara said.

"My perfect daughter," Lorna said.

"I'm your only daughter," Tara pointed out.

Lorna smiled and hugged her daughter again.

When they returned to the upper level, Jax was surprised to find three people. Two identical looking tall, very fit looking men with light brown hair and dark blue eyes dressed in identical navy pants and white shirts were standing watching one of the screens. Jax could tell from the audio that they were watching some kind of sporting event. Off to one side, a woman with long white hair and patches of shorter hair dyed black stood. It took Jax a moment before he realized that her hair was supposed to look like a piano keyboard. That was a lot strange.

"Jax, this is Eric and Derek. They are my fearless security team and they are rare Paralorn identical twins. This is Angela, filling in as my temporary assistant."

"My name isn't Angela anymore," the woman with the piano hair said sullenly. "My new name is Aranora. Angela is too ordinary for me."

Lorna's lips tightened. It wasn't a good idea to contradict the queen.

Aranora, formerly known as Angela, served Ryland, Tara, Jax and Lorna cheesecake and coffee at the dining table. The two security men and Aranora ate their desserts at the bar.

Lorna and Ryland were discussing sending the cure for the disease that Tara's half-brother had back to Rackle. If it worked it could save thousands of lives.

Ryland wanted to show Lorna some medical specimens. Tara went with them to the lab. Lorna suggested he remain with her staff. It was a subtle order, but it was still an order.

Jax went to his bedroom. He wanted to take a look at his skin under the purple gloves. His hands were also starting to itch.

"Do you remember me?" Aranora asked following him down the hall.

"No." Jax said.

"You have probably seen me at least a dozen times around Charming."

"I still don't remember you."

"That's because I had boring hair. Now, I have memorable hair."

She walked into his bedroom and began to close the door. He blocked the door with his foot.

"What is this?"

"I'm marrying Skeeter and I'm supposed to stay faithful. I've heard all about how amazing you are in bed. How about a quickie? I'll never tell. Every girl deserves great sex once in her life. Think of it as charity."

Old Jax might have been tempted for a few seconds because sex was sex and looks didn't matter much in the dark, but New Jax felt no temptation.

"You want great sex, get yourself some sex toys and lots of batteries."

Jax left her and returned to the living area. He wasn't sure if she seriously thought he was open to having sex with her or if it was some kind of test to see if he would cheat. He walked over to the body guards and talked to them about robot fighting until Lorna, Ry and Tara returned.

Lorna exchanged hugs with her daughter and then they left in three of the four cars that were at the bunker. They needed extra cars to transport supplies. That left them with only one car. There was something about that that made Jax uneasy.

"Your hands are bothering you?" Tara asked as she watched Jax carefully scratch his thumb.

"Itching mostly," Jax admitted.

"That's probably just healing, but let's go down and check," Ryland said.

The trio returned to the medical unit. Ryland and Tara cut the purple plastic gloves from Jax's hands and carefully examined them.

"That's astonishing. I've never seen anyone heal that fast before," Ryland said.

Jax was surprised that there weren't any stitches or redness. They looked normal.

Ryland ran Jax through several touch tests to make sure there hadn't been any loss of sensation.

"I want you to keep the wrapping on for a couple of more hours just to be on the safe side, but your hands are perfect."

"It took me more than a day to get to where you are when I had mine done," Tara said.

Tara carefully coated Jax's hands with more of the healing cream and rewrapped his hands.

"I'm going to get more sleep. I have to leave in a few hours to go to the launch site. You are going to be left without a vehicle for two days. I'll either be back or Lorna will send one of her security detail."

They returned upstairs and Ryland went to his bedroom. Jax and Tara returned to the living area.

"What did you think of Lorna?" Tara asked.

"She seems nice. We only had a couple of minutes before she had to leave."

"What did you think of Aranora?"

"I went to look at my hands in my bedroom. She followed me and wanted me to have sex with her. Crazy. Was that real or was it some kind of test?"

Tara shook her head.

"I had nothing to do with it. I don't think Meg would do that either. Meg always travels with at least two security and a personal assistant. When I tell her what you told me, she won't even be a fill in assistant."

"I don't think you should tell your mother. I told you because it's part of the new Jax who is open about everything."

"My mother needs to be able to trust those closest to her. Aranora has just proven that she is not trustworthy."

"Fair enough."

"I'm going to go to bed now. I'm exhausted."

"Yeah, me too," Jax agreed.

Jax shut his bedroom door and turned down his bed. There on the pillow was a pair of black thong panties. He shouldn't have left that crazy bitch alone in his room. He shook his head and laughed.

The next morning, Jax was having an argument with Cas.

"Look Cas, I know Tara's in her room and I need to talk to her."

"I can't open the door without her permission."

"Fine, then you tell her I need to talk to her. It's important."

Tara's door opened silently and Cas turned up the lighting in Tara's room to its standard setting.

"What's wrong?"

"The communication system is down. Cas said it could take 10 to 36 hours before it's fixed based on how long it took the last time. She said that the system runs too hot because it's a Paralorn design with human made components so this is an on-going problem. We are completely cut off from the world, from the internet, from everything."

"OK."

"There's a huge storm coming and there are flash flood warnings."

"That doesn't really matter since we've got two days without a car. That isn't a big deal either. What's really wrong?"

Jax walked over to where Tara was sitting up in bed and sat down.

"Before the com system went down, Hale called me with some information."

"Hale called you?"

"It surprised me too," Jax took a deep breath. "Nero is on the run from law enforcement _and_ his crew."

She stared at him. He could see the fear in her eyes. If Nero were running from the police and his own crew, something major had to have happened.

"Wendy is in ICU with a suspected overdose. Probably crank. She may not make it."

The color drained from Tara's face.

"Our boys . . ." Jax's voice broke.

"Oh God, please not our boys."

"Our boys are missing."

 _ **No One Is Safe and Anyone Can Die! The story could even die!**_

 **Next Up**

Why is Nero on the run? Hint: He did something in SOA Season 5, which in SOA time is only a few months at the most, that is now catching up with him.

Did Wendy take the overdose or did someone force it on her?

Where are the kids?

Could they just be really good at hide and seek?

Did they wander off while Wendy was out cold from an overdose?

Did Abel load up Thomas into a stroller and go in search of help for Wendy?

Did Abel leave Thomas somewhere deliberately or accidentally?

Were they abducted by a stranger who has a dark and deadly motive? It's Norco which is in Southern California and that stuff happens there and you can never overestimate the level of insanity there.

Or did someone who knows Jax take them for revenge or to force him out into the open to hurt or kill him? This could be an even bigger problem since he's had the conversion and no longer looks like Jax Teller to humans.

Will any of these questions ever be answered?

 _ **Did I deliver on my promise that three bad things would happen in this chapter and it would completely change the story's direction?**_

 _ **And since anyone can die, that means the story could be dead right now. And dead stories don't get new chapters. If there is a new chapter and I'm not saying there is a new chapter, there could be a huge plot twist coming.**_

 _ **AS ALWAYS PLEASE REVIEW**_.

 **Next Up for Me**

In two weeks, I'll post another chapter of Tara's Story. I'm finally getting close to finishing the rewrites and then I'll be writing new chapters. I had planned to finish the rewrites much much sooner, but then Jax Is Really Alive came to me and I fell in love with the story and I just love being able to write without a net. Anything can happen in this story since SOA ended before this story began and the sci-fi aspects give me a lot of plot flexibility.


	17. Chapter 17

21

 **J ax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 16 Recap**

 **Pending**

 **Chapter 17 WTF!**

Jax was not going to fall apart over the news that his sons were missing. Give the devil his due. As bad as Clay turned out to be, he had been a tower of strength when Abel was kidnapped. It was Clay that laid it out for him at Half-Sack's wake, telling him that either Abel was dead and he was going to get revenge or Abel was alive and he would do anything to get him back and he needed to make a choice. (SOA Season 3, first episode)

He spent that night in Charming's jail because he almost beat to death one of the men responsible for the drive-by shooting at Half-Sack's wake, resulting in the deaths of Hale and a little boy and the wounding of many, including Chuckie. By morning, he knew revenge wasn't important. The only thing that mattered was getting Abel back.

Abel's kidnapping had hit him hard because kids and old ladies were off limits. There was an outlaw code that made family and innocents or civilians off limits. Part of that was the noble belief that they hadn't signed up for the outlaw life. It was actually more practical. If outlaws killed innocents, it would draw too much law enforcement heat. Law enforcement largely turned a blind eye to outlaw on outlaw violence.

When Cam had a problem with him or SAMCRO, he should have handled it face to face, the way real men handled beefs. Only a pussy would take a baby and run away.

Whoever took his kids, would never take anyone else's kids again because he was going to kill that person or persons. He thought he had left the violence he had known most of his life behind when he got this second chance at life. It was following him into his new life.

He would not run from it or hesitate to kill. Sometimes, violence _was_ the only way. Sometimes, people just needed killing. That was the harsh, brutal truth that all the pussies who were against the death penalty needed to face.

Tara told him how much it had hurt her to watch him fall apart after she died. He remembered her telling him that she had taken pills and thought about ending her life because she couldn't bear watching him spin more and more out of control. That weak sniveling Jax was gone. He got her message loud and clear. She needed him to be strong. That's exactly who he was now, strong, tough and ruthless when the situation demanded it and this situation demanded it, but not at that very second.

For now, his priority was offering comfort to Tara. The best way was to hold her in his arms and then provide additional comfort as needed. If necessary, he was prepared to provide full comfort to her, which would require full body contact and an exchange of fluids. While technically sex, he thought of it more as fully comforting Tara in her time of need. He would enjoy it because it was sex, but the main purpose was to merge their bodies and pour some of his strength into her.

OK, who the hell was he trying to fool? He just wanted to have sex because it felt good and finding out your sons are missing makes you want to do something to feel better. Sex, drugs and alcohol were the best options to make them feel better. They couldn't do anything to find the boys while they were trapped in this bunker without a car or access to outside communications and that wasn't counting the torrential rains and flash floods that made the roads impassable.

He checked out Tara and was not encouraged. She had her arms crossed over her chest in a clear gesture of no contact. She appeared calm, but that didn't mean anything. Tara kept her emotions on the inside. It had taken him awhile to understand that.

"I'm going to get dressed and then I want you to tell me everything. I'll meet you in the living room."

Jax left her room. He knew that she needed a few minutes to herself to think through what he had just told her.

When Tara walked into the kitchen, Jax noticed she was deathly pale, but otherwise, she looked normal. He also noticed how well her jeans molded to her body and the buttons on her purple shirt looked like she needed to undo a few because she might be choking.

"I'm getting some indigo. Do you want something?"

"It's a little early for a drink."

"Jax, we're both part alien from another planet and our kids have been kidnapped. We're beyond rules."

"Good point. I'll have a beer."

Tara poured herself a tall glass of indigo with shaking hands. She grabbed a beer and gave it to Jax, before she sat down next to him on the couch.

"Are you OK?" Jax asked.

"Not even close. Tell me everything from the very beginning from the time you got Hale's call."

"I was sleeping when Cas told me she had Hale on screen for me. The screen came down from the ceiling. We talked a little about being alive again. I think he was just making small talk before he hit me with the point of his call."

Jax didn't tell Tara the whole beginning of the conversation. Hale had prepared him for the bad news and told him that he needed to be strong for Tara because she was more emotionally fragile than she would ever admit.

"Did he say why he called you instead of me?"

"I figured it was because most of the bad news had to do with me."

"Or he wanted to tell you something bad to keep from me."

"If I didn't know you, I might try to keep back some information, but I know you too well to try to do that. I know you do better when you know the facts even if they are bad because, if left to your imagination, you will imagine the worst."

"That's true," she admitted. "So why is Nero on the run from the cops and his crew?"

"Nero got tipped off there was an arrest warrant out for him for the murders of two of his Byz Lat crew. His crew got tipped off too, probably from the same source. Now, what remains of his crew are looking to kill him while the cops are looking to arrest him."

"Why would Nero kill two of his crew?'

"When the Galindo cartel scooped me up for a talk, Nero thought his Byz Lats took me. This was right after Diosa got raided by the cops. His crew blamed that blonde out of town whore and wanted to kill her. Nero asked us to get to her before his guys, so he could get her out of town. Chibs and I got her, his guys chased us and it almost ended in a hood shootout."

"This is the first time I've heard this."

Jax couldn't help smiling at the "wife" tone in her voice. Her voice had the annoyed, reproachful tone she always used when he was filling her in on information he'd thought it better not to share and then later had to fill her in on. It made him feel like they were truly a couple—still.

"I think I forgot to tell you about the hood shootout part. I told you I went down a little. My jeans got ripped."

"I remember the time you went down now and you definitely didn't tell me about the hood shootout part," she said, this time with more annoyance in her voice.

"While I was with the Galindo cartel, Nero confronted two of his crew at their house. They denied taking me and he killed them. One of the guy's baby mamas was in a back bedroom trying to get their baby to take a nap. She heard Nero come in, accuse them of kidnapping me and then she heard gunshots. She took the baby and hid in a closet. She's basically been homeless since then, staying with friends for a few days at a time.

"She got grabbed up for trying to steal baby formula. Some local businesses got together and offered a reward for the arrest of the person responsible for the killings. She decided to do herself some good—get the charges on her theft dropped and get the reward."

"Nero jumped to conclusions and killed two guys that fast?"

"That's what the girl said. I never would have thought Nero would do something like that. To act on so little information." Jax shook his head. "I didn't think Nero was that impulsive or reckless."

"He hooked up with your mother. That already calls into question his judgement and sanity."

"Right," Jax said with a trace of a smile. "I sometimes had the feeling that Nero was with her more to help me than be with her."

"From the bits that I saw, I think there's truth there. Things had gotten so crazy with everyone that the Paralorns had Gemma under constant surveillance. She was the best reality show around. I'm a terrible person sometimes. I enjoyed watching her come unraveled. I saw Nero's face when you told him over the phone that she killed me. She confirmed it and he was done with her. Just like that. I loved that moment." (SOA Season 7, episode Suits of Woe)

"When I found her at my grandfather's house, I wanted her to explain. I wanted her to give me some reason not to kill her."

"She lost her lover, her grandkids and her son. Only Unser was with her at the end. You told him to leave or you were going to kill him. I couldn't believe that she didn't urge him to leave. It just showed that she didn't care about him either. All the years and all the stuff he did for her and the club were for nothing.

"She should have killed herself to spare you from doing that. I don't hate her for killing me. If she believed I was selling you out and I was going to put you in prison for the rest of your life or on death row, I could understand her killing me. She was doing it to save your life.

"I hate her for not killing herself. She should have spared you that. Even in the end, Gemma only cared about herself. She wanted you to carry around that guilt and pain for the rest of your life. She was a nasty, hateful, cruel woman. I hope she is burning in hell."

He tried to avoid thinking about what Tara said about Gemma, but she was right. He couldn't argue that. Gemma shouldn't have made him kill her. If anything, the way she encouraged him to kill her just made the pain of killing her worse. He could still hear her saying "it's who we are" as she urged him to kill her.

"And I thought I had come to terms with all my mommy issues," Jax said drily. "Nero didn't want me to kill Gemma because he knew what it would do to me."

"He cared more about you than your own mother."

Tara wasn't much of a drinker and she had already downed more than half the indigo in just a few minutes. He was going to have a drunk Tara on his hands if she kept drinking at that pace.

"Now, he's on the run from the cops."

"Did he take his kid with him?"

"Hale said he dropped Lucius off at the state facility he'd been in before he took him to live on the farm."

"He could have taken our kids."

Tara downed the rest of her indigo, got up poured herself another glass and brought him another beer.

"Let me have a sip."

He didn't really want a sip, but he wanted to slow down her drinking. He took a couple of big gulps of indigo before handing it back to her.

"Why? It doesn't make sense."

"It does. If people are looking for a tall Hispanic man, they wouldn't expect him to be with two Caucasian kids," Tara paused and sucked in her breath. "He could have taken the kids to sell them. If he got desperate . . ."

"Or if he were getting ready to run and Wendy fell apart. He could have taken the kids to keep them safe," Jax said, picking up the story and giving it a better spin. He wanted to protect Tara from imagining the worst.

"That's possible too."

"If he took the boys, he wouldn't hurt them."

"He could sell the kids to a couple who wants a family," Tara said. "If he thinks you are on the run from the cops and SAMCRO, he might figure you aren't going to be able to be the boys' father. He's going to need money."

"I could see him doing that if he thought that was best for the boys. If he knew of a good family, maybe he would leave the boys with them and not necessarily sell them. The alternative with Wendy messed up, you dead and me on the run is foster care."

"Once more, life circles back. My kids are facing what used to be my biggest teenage fear—foster care. How long has Nero been gone?"

"Hale doesn't know. This crosses county lines, so its got different sheriff and police departments working the case and trying to find Nero. We'll find Nero. Even if he didn't take the kids, he might have information."

"Wendy," Tara said spitting the name out like a bad taste in her mouth.

"Hale said that Nero's uncle's old lady went to check on Wendy and the boys. She found Wendy passed out on the floor and the boys gone.

"The old lady called 911 for Wendy and then she began looking for the boys. When she couldn't find them, she called Nero's uncle. From what Hale said, the two of them searched the farm for the boys thinking that maybe they had gone somewhere."

"Are they stupid? Thomas can't walk."

"They thought Abel might have put him in his wagon or in his stroller. They thought he might have tried to find help for Wendy. There's no landline at the farmhouse, so Abel couldn't have called for help. When they finished their search, they finally called the cops. Law enforcement launched a big search. Knocked on doors. It's a rural area, so there aren't a lot of doors to knock on or people to witness anything."

"Did they use dogs? Did they use helicopters? I read a news article a few years ago about a missing three year old boy. His parents reported him missing and there was a big search. They found him two days later dead. He was outside the search area. He died from exposure. Imagine how scared that little kid was walking around lost, cold and hungry. Can you imagine how terrified he must have been at night? The little boy died alone. I can't bear it if something like that happened to our kids."

Tara had a vivid imagination and it was not always a good thing. Jax didn't want to think about his boys suffering the same fate as that little three year old. He shut those thoughts down.

"We need Wendy to regain consciousness to find out what she knows," Jax said. As soon as he said Wendy's name, he knew he made a mistake.

Tara finished her indigo and refilled her glass. She drank almost half its contents before putting it down on a nearby end table and began to pace.

"I am going to kill that junkie bitch."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Jax said.

Tara stopped in front of him.

"Of course not. You told her you loved her. You left our boys with an unstable junkie," Tara said, raising her voice and yelling.

"You know I was never in love with Wendy," Jax said calmly, keeping his voice level.

"How can you defend her?" Tara shouted. "Wendy passed out and someone came in and took the kids. Maybe worse. Maybe they took the kids to sell them because Wendy had a drug debt or the kids could be a source of money. Little kids are sex trafficked."

"You are jumping to wild conclusions. You're torturing yourself," Jax said, getting to his feet. "We need Wendy to stay alive. She might know something that can lead us to our kids. We need her to live long enough to give us information."

"Fine. I'll kill her then."

"Tara, you aren't going to kill Wendy."

Tara's face flushed angrily and she clenched her fists.

"Oh, yes I am. This has to be related to Wendy."

"For now, we need Wendy to stay alive at least long enough to tell us what she knows about the boys."

"If this in anyway is her fault, I will kill her."

Jax grabbed Tara by the shoulders.

"You are not killing Wendy," he said firmly, like a parent to a stubborn child.

Tara broke away from Jax.

"I should have known that you would side with her. You told her you loved her. You had sex with her that same morning."

Tara was calm and rational. A semi-drunk Tara was more ruled by her emotions.

"I meant I loved her as the mother of Abel."

"Well, good for you. I am still going to kill that whore."

Jax tried holding Tara by the shoulders again.

"The best punishment for Wendy is never to know what happened to the kids when we get them back. It will haunt her for the rest of her life."

Tara thought about that for awhile.

"I still want to bash her head in with a baseball bat, but I like the misery of never knowing."

"Wait until the truth comes out. If Wendy really needs killing, I'll do it. I don't want you to carry around the guilt and pain."

"What about for you?" she asked, softly. The sweet, caring Tara had returned.

"I've learned how to deal with it. You might enjoy killing Wendy for a few minutes, but it will weigh on you. I only want what is best for you, baby," Jax said.

"I guess we don't have to decide right now," Tara conceded. "Can we at least kill the people who took the kids?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm doing that," Jax said grimly.

She walked to the end table, grabbed her half empty glass of indigo and sat back down on the couch.

"Hale said they did search by helicopter and they did use dogs. The dogs lost the scent at the road. They think the kids were taken by car."

Jax returned to the couch and sat down. He reached for the glass of indigo she had in her hand. She let him take it to have another sip. He was still trying to moderate her drinking without making an issue of it.

"That isn't helpful. If someone took them, they would have used a car."

"It means that Abel and Thomas aren't lost somewhere."

"That's true. That's good news," Tara said. "I don't know, maybe it's bad news. I don't have to worry that they are alone somewhere out on a farm, scared, alone and dying from exposure. I just have to worry about who took them. Most abducted kids are killed within the first few hours. If a stranger took them, they are probably dead."

"About six or so hours into the search, someone put together that the kids missing were mine. They think I took them."

"That means they aren't looking for them anymore," Tara said.

An observer looking at Tara wouldn't know that she was barely holding herself together, but Jax could feel her despair and her soul searing fear. Maybe there really was something to the Paralorn empathy bond thing.

"They are looking for them with me," Jax corrected. "Tara, we both know this isn't a stranger abduction. Whoever took our kids did so because of me. They want to use the kids to lure me out into the open."

"Who?"

"The Chinese, maybe someone who wants revenge for my killing August Marks, the Irish, SamBel and maybe someone connected to Salazar. You killed the girlfriend and I killed him. There's not exactly a shortage of people who would want revenge for all the shit I've done."

"What about SAMCRO?"

"Yeah, maybe. If they are getting a lot of heat from the Council and think I double crossed them by not killing myself, they could be ruthless and desperate enough to take the kids. Hell, it could be any chapter of SOA."

"If it's connected to you, how are they going to contact you?"

"If someone took the kids to get to me, they or he will figure out a way to let me know."

"God, I hope it's not the Chinese. I saw what Henry Lin did to Chuckie's hands."

"Lin's dead, but I'm sure there are others."

"You don't think they would hurt the kids to get to you?"

"No," Jax lied. "I think they might threaten, but I think that's as far as it will go. I think it will come down to a trade, me for the kids."

He didn't point out that he didn't look like Jax Teller anymore to humans. It would just upset Tara more.

Tara finished her glass of indigo, went to the refrigerator and brought the bottle of indigo back to the couch with her.

"Did Hale say if Meg or Ry know about the kids? If they know, the Paralorns will go all out to find them. They can hack into traffic cameras, police data bases, all kinds of stuff. Thomas is a prince and he's in line for the Paralorn throne. That's a big deal to them. We aren't going to be alone in searching for them."

"Hale didn't say anything, but our conversation got interrupted when the system went down. You said that the Paralorns were running a lot of surveillance on everyone. Is it possible they saw what was going on with Wendy and they took the kids?"

Tara thought about that for awhile.

"If they knew the kids were in danger, they might take them. They were going to put in cameras at the farm, but they hadn't done it yet. There's a lot going on with them now. Maybe they were going to put in the cameras when they discovered the boys were in danger. They took the boys to keep them safe and the com system went down before they could let us know," Tara said.

"I think that makes the most sense. We just need to wait until they get the com system fixed."

"We could have the boys with us soon," Tara said. "I've really missed them. Especially Thomas. He needs me. He should be crawling."

"I know I was a shit father."

"You're right, but when the time came and Abel needed you, you were there. You found the truth about your mother. That counts a lot."

"I'll be a father for once instead of in name only."

Jax could feel the tension leave Tara's body. She had convinced herself the Paralorns had taken the kids. He wasn't so sure, but he decided to believe it until he learned it wasn't true. He had given both of them the truth they needed for that moment.

There would be a time when they would know the truth. Until then, he would rather believe his kids were safe with the Paralorns than believe someone had the kids and were going to use them to get at him.

"Do you want some indigo? If you don't I'm going to finish the bottle. There's another bottle left in the fridge."

There were about three inches left in the bottle. Tara took a long pull and downed more than half the remaining contents.

"I'm going to get drunk," Tara announced.

"You're already pretty close to drunk," Jax said, smiling.

"Good, then I won't have to drink much more. You know how I get when I get drunk. Are you going to refuse to have sex with me?"

"Drunk or double drunk?"

"Double drunk since I already am kind of just regular drunk."

Tara seemed to suddenly realize that her purple shirt was choking her. She began unbuttoning it and stroking the exposed skin, possibly to restore circulation.

Double drunk meant that Tara was going to get drunk in a short space of time. Getting drunk brought out a sexually aggressive side to Tara. Double drunk brought out an even more sexually aggressive side. It made her wild and crazy and sexy as hell.

He mentally wrote this equation in his mind:

Tara x Double Drunk x Alien Sex Upgrade = Best Sex Ever

In his mind, he didn't add exclamation marks after 'best sex ever' because only girls and pussies used exclamation marks. Real men were too cool for them.

"You are the only man I trust myself to get drunk with because I know how I get about sex. You are also the only man who has the stamina to _almost_ keep up with me sexually."

"You're a doctor. You know that's a man's anatomy," Jax protested. "We have a reset period."

"You know why men have a reset period? If they didn't, they would screw themselves to death."

Jax laughed. He recognized there was a lot of truth to what she was saying.

"And if I ask you to hurt me, I can trust you to only hurt me a little."

"And only after lots of begging from you."

"Yeah and you make sure I don't drink too much and get alcohol poisoning."

"I also hold your hair back if you throw up."

"Such a gentleman. I'm not in the mood for tender, romantic love making. I need to feel good. I kind of understand now why you use sex to dull the pain of whatever you are going through."

Tara finished the bottle of indigo and got up from the couch. Half the buttons on her shirt were undone, exposing the curve of her breasts and her black lace bra.

"I think maybe another sip or two of indigo and I'll be double drunk. I need you to tell me now if you are going to refuse to have sex with me. If you are, I'll just find some medical tools downstairs to substitute."

"You ever do that before?"

Tara's lips turned up in a mischievous smile and her eyes sparkled.

"I'll never tell, but you can use your imagination."

Jax used his imagination. It was kind of hot and funny and HOT. No exclamation marks though because exclamation marks were only for girls and pussies.

"And no, you can't watch," Tara said, reading his mind because she knew him so well. "So, what's your answer?" She demanded the empty bottle of indigo in one hand and the other hand on her hip.

"I told you I wouldn't have sex with you as long as you were having sex with Ryland."

"He's not here," Tara pointed out. "I'm not having sex with Ryland."

"You know what I mean," Jax said.

"I do. Don't make me beg. _I really need you to fuck me_."

Jax had the willpower to resist Tara probably, well, _maybe,_ but he couldn't think of a good reason why he should. He had proven his point about his will power. He couldn't be expected to resist a double drunk Tara who was pleading for sex with her shirt half off.

"I'm not sure how I feel about you using me for sex," Jax paused and burst out laughing. "Yeah, I'm OK with it. I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself with medical tools. You could do yourself a permanent injury," Jax said getting to his feet.

"I was hoping you could do me this very _big_ and _urgent_ favor."

Jax grinned at her.

"Wouldn't want to abandon you in your time of _need_."

"It's going to be our first time since the conversion. I never thought I'd get to have sex with you again," Tara said.

"You're right. It is our first time. I'll do a shot of indigo with you and then I think you've had enough alcohol for awhile."

"So authoritative," she said.

Her diction was perfect. She walked a straight line into the kitchen. It was when she stood in front of the refrigerator that he saw her sway slightly. The biggest change was in her sexual behavior.

He liked that he was the only man who got the sexual benefits of a drunk or double drunk Tara and that she trusted him.

"You pour the shots," Tara said. "I think I'll spill if I do it."

Jax grabbed two shot glasses out of a cupboard and filled them with the indigo.

They clicked shot glasses and downed their shots.

"So, what's your plan?" Jax asked. Double drunk Tara always had a plan.

"We have sex in my closet with that really great romantic lighting that Cas does. My closet has mirrors all around so I can watch what you're doing to me and you can watch what you're doing to me and it's got this really deep plush rug that's so soft, we'll sink into it."

"Yeah," Jax said. There wasn't anything else to say.

"Next, well, there's no real order. We walk outside to the rock we went to after you went through the conversion process. I'm wearing a long ankle length T-shirt dress with sweet little pink flowers on it without panties, so you'll just have to lift up my dress and take me," her voice fell to a whisper.

"It's raining," Jax pointed out.

"I know. That makes it hotter. You in jeans and a white T-shirt. As it gets wet it will cling to your skin. We'll be cold but hot for each other."

"Without a bra too? I want to see the water mold the dress to your breasts, watch your nipple harden."

"Yeah," Tara said, flushing and sounding breathless. "I'll do that. Next, we'll need a shower. There's a steam shower and a bench in my bathroom. I'll sit on your lap, facing you and it will be all steamy. It will be like having sex in a cloud. The next time . . ."

Jax pulled her against him and kissed her long, hard and hungry. He didn't know what the hell was going on with him, but he wanted to bury himself inside her and never let her go. He remember telling her after she came back to Charming that in high school he needed to spend every minute with her and their relationship couldn't be that. He must have had shit for brains. Tara was everything right in the world. He wanted to drown in her and never come up for air.

He would protect her and do anything in the world for her. He didn't know what the hell he could have been thinking when he chose SAMCRO over the woman who saved him from becoming a mindless monster and was the mother to his sons. How the hell could he not have seen what was really important?

"I forgot something," she said, pulling her mouth away. "I didn't tell you the position I want to use." She nipped at his neck with her teeth. He groaned. "My legs on your shoulders," she whispered. She pulled away so she could see his face. "We can get the deepest penetration. I want to feel _all_ of you inside me."

Her eyes were pools of melted chocolate, her lips were curved in a smile and her face was flushed. He wanted her so much, it was hard not to strip her naked and plunge inside her right there.

"My favorite position is inside you."

If you get the sex right, you get the relationship right. It was obvious to Jax that Ryland wasn't getting the sex right with Tara. She seemed starved for sex and he was more than prepared to fill her up.

"You always know the most romantic things to say," Tara said.

"Less talking and more touching," Jax said.

"Give me a piggy back ride to my closet. Cas, romantic lighting for my bedroom and closet."

"Yes, Tara," Cas said.

Jax would have given a piggy back ride to a pig if it meant having sex with Tara.

As he bent down so she could put her arms around his neck, she lost her balance. She started giggling and Jax's hands ended up underneath her shirt.

"How about a piggy back ride later?" Jax picked her up, put her over his shoulder and carried her to the bedroom, the same way he did when he got released from prison. She laughed the same whooping happy laugh too. The only difference was now he wanted her even more. (SOA Season 4, first episode, Out)

Cas had the perfect dim lighting ready for them by the time Jax put Tara down. He pulled his light blue T-shirt over his head and was just tossing it to the ground, when a screen descended from the ceiling in Tara's room.

"I have instructed the robots and they were able to restore a portion of the Hale communication that was lost when the communication system went down."

Hale appeared on screen this time wearing a Charming PD's uniform with police chief insignia.

". . . investigating some vandalism at Scoops. Someone put a round through a window. I was checking traffic cameras when I found this. I'm not sure what it means or how it's even possible. Here it . . ."

The footage began at a traffic signal. A tall brunette crossed the street. She turned, lifted her chin and smiled directly into the camera.

"Gemma!" Jax and Tara said in unison.

In Jax's mind, he added an exclamation mark because the mother he killed with a bullet to the brain had come back to life. It was the only time a real man could use an exclamation mark without being a pussy.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE I've written and taken down various forms of this note. The bottom line is I'm tired of spending so much time writing, rewriting, rewriting and rewriting a story that readers don't care enough about to provide feedback. That's either a problem with my story-that you don't care enough about it to want to keep reading and that's why you can't take two minutes out of your life to say something to me and it can even be bad-just get off your ass and say something or it's a problem with you that you can't take two minutes to write something to me because you are lazy, rude and inconsiderate. Either way, if I don't get feedback and feel that readers really want to read this story, I won't write anymore and I'll take all my stories down. I'll know to spend my time more productively.**


	18. Chapter 18

4

 **Jax Is Really Alive!**

 **Chapter 18 Stranger**

Many months have passed and the locations of Abel and Thomas have changed more times than a math impaired child could count, but finally, Jax and Tara, with help from Opie, have tracked the kids down to a dilapidated building on the outskirts of Charming.

Gemma sat on top of Abel with a pillow over his face. Finally, she was satisfied that he was dead. She got up just as Jax, Tara and Opie ran into the building.

"Did you just kill Abel?" Jax demanded.

Gemma smiled.

"You bitch!" Tara shouted.

"I can't believe you killed your grandson," Opie shouted.

"Oh, really, you are all making such a big deal out of nothing. It had to be done. I knew Jax would never have the balls to do it."

"That wasn't your decision to make," Jax said. "And I do so have balls."

"You killed Abel. He must have been terrified," Tara said.

"It had to happen. I knew you and Jax would never have the guts to do it. He'll be back to life in a few hours. It's not like I killed him forever."

"Where's Thomas?" Jax asked.

"Did you kill him too?" Tara asked.

"You killed both your grandsons?" Opie asked.

"Yes, Thomas is dead. He's on the roof."

"Why the hell is he on the roof?" Jax demanded.

Gemma shrugged. "Random shit happens."

"This is the end of the line for you, Gemma." Jax said.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Time for you to die."

Gemma sneered at him.

"You did that once and showed everyone what a big tough guy you were. What the hell happened to my beautiful blonde blue-eyed son? You've got breast implants, dyed black hair and a _perm_. Are you trying to look like your father or a poodle?"

"I've known Tig's my father for awhile now. Were there any men you didn't open your legs for? You were the biggest slut in town."

Gemma smoothed her V-necked tank over her breasts, pulling it lower just like her daughter Louise did at the convenience store Jax always stopped by to buy rolling papers, cigarettes and condoms. Any man can hide a secret baby. It takes real skill for a woman to do it.

"I confess I wasn't as virginal as Tara, little miss welded shut at the knees. That's hardly a reason to kill me. What the hell is up with the breast implants?"

"I like tits. I thought it would be cool to have some of my own, so I can feel'em whenever I want to."

"Sometimes I think you have shit for brains. Or maybe it's the blonde hair and that's why you can be so dumb. Tig is into a lot of deviant things. It looks like you take after him. You need someone around to keep you from doing stupid shit."

"Nice try, _mom_. It won't work. I'm not even killing you for all the bad shit you did. We're killing you for all the bad shit you are going to do in the future."

"You don't have the nerve to kill me," Gemma said. She began to walk.

"Stop. If I have to chase you down, I'll kill you long and painful," Jax said.

Gemma stopped, her eyes widened as she thought over Jax's words. She realized he might actually be serious about killing her. Again.

"Let's do it," Tara said. "I have a honeymoon to get to."

"Ready," Opie said.

Jax, Tara and Opie all pulled out their weapons from wherever the hell they had them.

"Aim," Tara said.

"Don't," Gemma screamed.

"Fire," Jax said, calmly.

Opie's bullet caught Gemma in the gut. Tara's bullet hit her in the heart. Jax's shot hit her right between the eyes.

They walked over to where Gemma was crumpled on the ground. Tara lifted up her wedding gown and nudged Gemma's body with her shoe, careful to avoid the blood that was beginning to pool around her.

"Do you think she's really dead this time?" Tara asked.

"Doesn't matter. We're taking her to Skeeter's," Jax said.

Opie and Jax rolled up Gemma's body in a thick blue plastic tarp like the kind often used on leaky roofs.

"I'm coming. I need to see her burn," Opie said. "That bitch killed Donna in front of me."

They hopped into the pick up with Gemma's body in the truck bed and drove to Skeeter's.

Skeeter was singing songs from "Frozen" when Opie and Jax walked into the crematorium carrying Gemma still wrapped up in blue plastic. Tara stepped carefully, holding her big poufy white wedding ball gown up so it didn't drag on the floor.

"You finally got her," Skeeter said.

"Bitch is dead," Opie said, smiling broadly.

"It's about time. It took you long enough," Skeeter said.

Following Skeeter's directions, Jax and Opie loaded Gemma still wrapped in plastic on the slab. Skeeter shoved Gemma's body into the crematorium and closed the door.

Skeeter fired up the oven. The silence was pierced by screams and someone pounding at the crematorium's oven door.

"Oh, my God! Is that Gemma?" Tara asked sounding happy.

"No, it's my ex-fiancee. I tied her up and put her in there. You should have seen the terror on her face."

"Thanks for the burn job on Gemma," Jax said.

"It was a pleasure."

"Sorry, time for me to go," Tara said.

"Remember, next week is my week, so don't wear yourself out too much," Jax said.

"I will have more than enough sexual energy for you, baby."

Tara walked over to the black SUV with a "Just Married" sign on the back of the car and got in the passenger's side.

"It's all done. Gemma's dead for good this time," Tara said.

Ryland leaned over and gave Tara a quick peck on the lips.

"Life is good. I'm glad Jax finally came around to plural marriage."

"It took him awhile before he decided he would rather have half of me than the whole of anyone else," Tara said.

As they drove out of town, they passed the smoldering remains of Teller-Morrow and the SAMCRO clubhouse.

Clay waved at Tara from the Charming Police Department's parking lot. He rubbed his Charming police chief's badge with his thumb and smiled. It was a good day to be Clay.

 **HOW FAR DID YOU GET BEFORE YOU REALIZED THIS WAS A PRANK/FAKE CHAPTER?**

 **This story began on April 1, 2016 as an April Fool's Day prank. I made up the craziest premise I could think of-Tara's back from the dead and is part alien and can stop time. The joke was on me because I really loved the whole Jax and Tara relationship and all the story possibilities. I hadn't planned on writing this, but I just loved the story. I knew that the sci-fi aspect that I needed to tell the story would be a tough sell, but I've been fortunate that so many readers took the jump into sci-fi with me.**

 **This chapter is a birthday present to the story that began as a prank chapter. All those that reviewed Chapter 17 got tipped off. See, reviewers do get privileges.**

 **M**


	19. Chapter 19

12

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 17 Recap**

Jax and Tara discuss the latest developments—Nero's on the run from cops, Wendy's in the hospital with a possibly fatal overdose and the boys are missing. There's nothing to do about the situation but talk because the communications system is down, there's a storm outside and flash floods and they have no vehicle.

Tara decides to get "double drunk". It's the term she uses for getting drunk as quickly as possible. Jax doesn't stop her because a double drunk Tara gets sexually aggressive. She tells him her ideas for sex and they sound perfect to Jax, but pretty much any idea involving sex is OK with Jax.

They go to her bedroom. Tara wants to have sex in her mirrored closet with the romantic lighting that Cas does so well because she wants to see everything Jax is doing to her.

Before they make it to the closet and experience hot sex, Cas announces she had instructed the robots to recover the lost footage that was being transmitted when the com system went down. They were successful in patching it together. A screen descends from the ceiling and a clip from a traffic cam shows Gemma turning her face to the camera as though she wants to make sure she's seen.

 **Chapter 18**

Jax Is Really Alive began on April 1, 2016 as a prank chapter. I took the craziest premise I could think of and wrote a chapter. I started to really love the story and the whole dynamic of Jax and Tara having to face each other after everything that happened in SOA Seasons 6 and 7, so I wrote it as a real story.

To celebrate the story's birthday, I wrote another prank chapter for it. That was chapter 18. Nothing in it happened, but one of the plot points will occur in a future chapter. I'm just not saying which one or if there's a twist to it. OK, there's going to be a twist because there always has to be a twist.

 **Chapter 19 It's Hard to Keep a Bad Woman Dead**

There's nothing quite like having the mother you murdered come back to life to throw cold water all over what was going to be some very hot sex. Jax felt deflated—literally. Even double drunk Tara seemed to partially sober up.

She ran into the bathroom. Jax could hear her vomiting. Automatically, he walked into the bathroom and knelt beside her, holding her hair back as she continued to throw up crouched over the toilet.

Jax wondered if Tara might be interested in sex when she finished throwing up. He wanted to put off thinking about Gemma for as long as possible and sex was the perfect diversion.

Tara finally finished vomiting and stood up.

"Thanks for holding my hair," she said.

"Brings back memories," he said with a smile.

"My wild child days," Tara said.

She got to her feet, went to the sink and brushed her teeth.

"Indigo coming up isn't nearly as tasty as it is going down."

Jax laughed.

"Oh, no!" Tara gasped before dropping to her knees in front of the toilet. Once more, Jax was by her side, holding her hair back.

Tara thought she had finished vomiting and she brushed her teeth. Within a minute, she was again crouched over the toilet vomiting.

"There can't be anything left," she said with a moan.

Before she could get to her feet, she began throwing up again.

"I hate vomiting," Tara said after brushing her teeth for the third time.

"Are you still drunk?" Jax tried to make the question casual, so she wouldn't know he was thinking about sex.

"Yeah, but not in the fun way. Sorry, we'll have to postpone sex. I'm going to get a little sleep and then we'll figure out how Gemma is alive."

Damn, Tara. How did she know he was thinking about sex? Oh, yeah, that's right, he was _always_ thinking about sex.

It was pouring rain, so he could watch videos or beat up on the robots. He decided to beat up on robots. Maybe that would help some of his sexual frustration. He should be having hot sex with Tara. He should have known she was drinking too much, too fast and stopped her, but the idea of sex with a double drunk Tara had clouded his judgement.

She should be completely recovered by tonight. Maybe just a couple of glasses of indigo would bring out the wild side to Tara and they could still do the mirrored closet sex and sex on the bench with steam all around them. It was too cold to have sex outside on the rock. He might shrivel up or something.

Jax worked out with all the gym machines for more than an hour before fighting the robots until he was so physically exhausted he collapsed on the training mat. He fell asleep and for that brief period of time, his thoughts were on something other than sex.

He was running in a maze filled with mist. Each time he turned a corner, he expected to see his boys. Instead, he saw another corridor. He tried running faster, but the boys and whoever had them were always too many steps ahead.

He decided he would not share that dream with Tara. There was no point in upsetting her further and it was just a dream. It might not be easy, but he knew they would get their boys back because whoever took them had a connection to him and sooner or later that person would make him or herself known with a list of demands.

Finally back to Gemma. He still wasn't ready to deal with Gemma killing Tara, her and Juice's Chinese lie and his shooting her, but he could think about Gemma kidnapping his boys. It was exactly the kind of thing she would do.

He returned upstairs and checked on Tara. She was still asleep, but he decided to leave the bathroom door open in case she woke up, wandered in and wanted a show. He smiled ruefully remembering her accusing him of using shower poses when he thought she was watching him shower. She knew him a little too well sometimes.

Tara was sitting at the counter sipping iced tea when Jax walked into the living area after his shower, his hair still damp. Tara loved it when he was freshly showered. He was hoping that this would translate into sex in the very near future.

"When I walked past your door, I heard the shower. I figured you hadn't eaten, so I ordered BLTs."

"No fries?"

"I ordered fries and onion rings for us to share."

"You must be feeling better if you are thinking about eating," Jax said. He increased his odds of having sex with Tara in the next hour to 90%.

"Yeah, once I finished throwing up, I got better pretty fast. I'm never going to drink that much again."

Jax laughed.

"I've heard that before."

"How do you feel about Gemma being alive?" Tara asked softly, concern on her face.

Jax thought about it. He couldn't get past the door in his mind that he put Gemma behind. It would open when he was ready and he wasn't ready yet. It was also possible that he would never be ready. His relationship with his mother was too complex to resolve quickly.

He shook his head.

"I'm not ready to think about Gemma and everything that happened. It's the past and there's nothing I can do about it. When I'm ready, I'll figure it out."

Tara put her hand on Jax's thigh, leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm sorry, baby. She's put you through so much. I thought it was over when you killed her."

"It's hard to keep a bad woman dead," Jax said wryly.

Tara laughed.

Jax got up to get the food. He put the two plates with sandwiches on them in front of them and placed the third plate with fries and onion rings in the middle so they could share.

"I think that there was a group of Paralorns who secretly began genetic experimentation before us. We're not the first generation of hybrids."

"It makes sense. Gemma has to be part alien or that shot to the head would have killed her for good. Do you think Ryland was involved and he lied about us being the first generation?"

Tara shook her head.

"No, I don't think he was lying. From what he's said about when the Paralorns arrived, he was pretty busy setting up everything needed for the Paralorns to live and blend in. Every society has some rogue elements. I can see how a group who wanted to have kids decided that when they found out they were infertile, they turned to humans to carry their kids with the same results Ry had with us. They didn't know until after one died and returned that humans and aliens had combined DNA."

"Just my luck that my mother turns out to be part alien from another planet."

"I wonder if I can prove my theory by running your DNA from before the conversion."

"Wouldn't that just show 100% human?"

"I don't know. I think it's possible some of the alien could be picked up. We don't know everything about how the DNA works with hybrids, so it's worth a try. I want to run your DNA from before the conversion and after the conversion."

Jax revised the possibilities of sex with Tara in the next hour as under 1% and that was optimistic.

"You can use the DNA from inside the pocket of my cut for my DNA before the conversion."

"Great idea."

"How long is it going to take?"

"It should only take about ten or fifteen minutes. Almost as fast as the TV crime shows. I'll just swab the areas for DNA and then I'll put the swabs into individual test tubes. After that, the medical system will do the rest."

"Don't you have to wait until the system comes back up?"

"No, that's the communications system. The medical systems are centered here. That means we have all the medical systems and anyone who wants to access the systems has to do it through the com system who routes it to the medical systems here."

"Great," Jax said with a noticeable lack of enthusiasm in his voice.

"It will help me focus on something other than worrying about our boys being missing," Tara said, trying to get Jax to feel a little enthusiasm for her project.

"Somebody has to be helping Gemma," Jax said, changing the subject. He wasn't interested in DNA. "She couldn't have gotten back to Charming without help. Either that or she woke up in cold storage and got herself out of the medical examiner's office before she could be cut open. If anyone could do it, it would be Gemma though," Jax said.

"That's true. I don't think it was an accident that she showed up on Hale's video. Maybe she shot out the glass at SAMCRO's and then deliberately appeared on the video. Charming has few traffic cams. She had to know that Hale would look at that footage and know the exact one she needed to be seen on."

"It all makes sense especially if she took the kids. She wants us to know she's alive again."

"She's luring us back to Charming."

"That might not be such a bad thing," Jax said. "If she's got the kids, that might be the best answer for us too. We wouldn't have to worry about their safety. She wouldn't hurt them. At least not physically. She could also have taken the kids with help. Whoever is helping her will play the role of the kidnapper. When the time is right, she will "find" them thinking that will fix all of the past and we'll be so grateful, we'll let her back in our lives."

"I can see Gemma doing something like that," Tara said with a sigh. "You are right that it would be easiest for us. We don't have to chase all over looking for the kids. We just need to watch Gemma. Even if she's using someone to care for them, so she can play hero, she's going to go and check on the boys, maybe wearing a disguise so Abel won't recognize her."

"I'm going to kill whoever took the boys even if it's Gemma."

"Oh, God, Jax I almost hope that someone else has the boys. I'd hate for you to have to go through the trauma of killing Gemma again."

Jax's sky blue eyes turned steely.

"If she took the kids, I can't let her live. Who knows what kind of shit she would do if I let her get by with taking our kids?"

"I'd just hate for you to have to go through that again."

"Quit treating me like I'm fragile," Jax snapped angrily. "If Gemma is behind the kidnapping of our kids, I'll kill her and not think twice about it."

He wasn't looking forward to having to face his mother again, especially if he had to kill her, but if she took the kids, she would have no one to blame except herself. He had little hope that Gemma had learned not to lie, scheme or manipulate. It was her nature. He didn't think she was capable of change. Whatever changes she may have experienced through death and then returning to life would not have made her a better person. The bad was just too deep in her.

As soon as they finished lunch, Jax got his cut from his closet, carefully handling it by the shoulders.

"In about fifteen minutes, we'll see if we can figure out some of Gemma's DNA by looking at yours."

"I wonder how the coroner's office is going to solve the mystery of Gemma's disappearing body." Jax said with a ghost of a smile curling his lips.

"Cover it up. Basic organizational procedure."

"They ought to teach that in college—true life organizational procedures or the ways to do a cover-up that won't land you in jail," Jax said.

"Colleges never teach anything that useful. You would make a great teacher though," Tara said. "Think of all the things you've taught me." There was a sexy gleam in her eye as she looked at him.

Jax upped his chances of sex to 50%. They would have some time to kill while they waited for the test results and sex was always a great way to pass time.

Once they were in the medical unit, Tara put on a white lab coat and gloves. She swabbed the inside of his cut, his cheek and her own cheek and placed each cotton swab into a separate glass test tube. She put them inside a machine and pressed a few buttons.

"I did my DNA so I can compare it against my previous DNA test just to make sure I did the test correctly."

"Who knew we would grow up and still do lab experiments together?" Jax said.

Tara grinned.

"And who knew we would turn out to be part alien from another planet?"

Jax shook his head. "It kind of freaks me out being part alien from another planet. I keep wondering if something alien's going to start growing out of me or I'll turn into a lizard creature."

"I never really thought of that but most sci-fi movies if someone is part alien bad things happen."

The computer beeped and a nearby printer came to life and printed a sheet of paper. Tara grabbed it and gave it a quick look.

"This is my DNA," she said, showing it to Jax.

He noticed the line that said that Tara was the half-daughter of the King and Queen of Paralorn. It was even printed in purple ink, the color of royalty.

The printer began printing again. It printed two sheets before quitting.

Tara grabbed the results and frowned. She kept staring at the pages so intently, it made Jax uneasy. What the hell could be wrong with his results?

"I've never seen results like these. It says that _before_ the conversion you were half human and half Sliven."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"If the DNA works like ours, you got half your DNA from your mother and half from your father. That would make Gemma 100% Spiven."

"What does my DNA show after the conversion?"

"That's even stranger. It says you are 25% human and 75% Spiven. The normal DNA rules don't seem to work."

"Maybe you made a mistake in the test and the samples got contaminated," Jax suggested.

"I'll do it all over," Tara said. She carefully swabbed Jax's cut and placed the swab in a test tube. This time, she yanked out several head hairs from Jax, making sure that the root end was included. She placed them in a test tube. Once again she ran the tests and got the same results.

"Ryland is ten minutes away," Cas announced.

"I thought the roads were impassable," Tara said.

"He's flying in. My sensors detected his spaceship and his identity."

"I thought the spaceship was still here," Jax said.

"There are multiple spaceships," Tara explained. "Cas is the com system still down?" Tara asked.

"Yes."

"When Ry lands, tell him Jax and I are in the medical unit and ask him to come down here."

Ry came down to the medical unit, looking tired as usual. There were large gray circles under his eyes. Once he saw Tara, his face seemed to light up. If Jax had any doubt about Ryland's feelings for Tara, they were gone. Ry was definitely looking at Tara with love in his eyes.

"Do you have news about the kids?" Tara asked.

Ry shook his head.

"No. I met with Hale briefly before I flew here. There isn't any news. Hale's taking point on this. He also filled me in on Jax's mother's return to life. When things slow down a little, we'll figure out how that happened."

"I did a little work on that," Tara said proudly. "I looked at Jax's DNA before his conversion."

"That would just show Jax as being all human," Ryland said.

"I thought so too, but I just had this feeling that I should run it, that there was something there."

She handed him the two sheets she printed out on Jax's DNA.

Ry looked at the sheets, frowning.

"Oh, fuck," Ry said.

Jax didn't think perfect Ryland ever swore, but he was staring at the pieces of paper in his hands looking unhappy.

"Did I do something wrong?" Tara asked anxiously.

"If it gets out that Jax is part Sliven, it's a death sentence."

"I'm the Queen's daughter and my son is a prince in line for the throne and Jax is his father. They can't kill him. Meg would never let them."

"I don't have more time to explain. If I don't get it fixed before the system comes up, the information will be pushed out to all the computers everywhere. If that happens, Jax is as good as dead."

 **Next Up: Hard Truths**

Ry reveals disturbing information about the boys' disappearance. He also confides some hard truths to Jax.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE Thanks to all the readers that messaged me and reviewed the story. It's back because of your efforts.** _ **Please keep reading and reviewing.**_ **M**


	20. Chapter 20

13

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 19 Recap**

Tara recovers from being double drunk. She and Jax talk about discovering that Gemma has returned to life. She assumes Gemma must be part alien for her to be alive, so she wants to see if she can see anything in Jax's DNA that would point to Gemma's alien DNA.

Being thorough, she decides to also run tests on Jax's DNA before the conversion. She uses the DNA from the inside pocket of Jax's cut. The tests don't show what she expected. It shows that Jax is 75% Sliven and 25% human.

Ryland flies to the bunker. Tara proudly shows Ryland her DNA work, but instead of praise, he tells her that if anyone discovers Jax is part Sliven, it's a death sentence.

 **Chapter 20 Hard Truths**

Ryland sat down at the computer and began typing into the computer so fast it sounded like one continuous clicking sound.

"I shut down the automatic push and inserted a notice that there are problems with the medical system possibly related to the com system crash. No one really understands how the hell the medical system works except me, so it's plausible. That buys me time to make the changes I'm going to need to do to keep Jax and the boys safe."

"Why don't you just delete the record?" Tara asked.

"I could do that and that would temporarily solve the problem, but with Gemma's return from the dead, there's going to be a lot of pressure to look at the reason. That will bring scrutiny to Jax's DNA and eventually the kids when we get them back. It's better to do it now and get ahead of the problem."

"Why is being Sliven so bad?" Jax asked.

"When the Slivens wiped out a lot of the Paralorns and drove the survivors underground or to Earth, it caused a lot of hate. There's this completely crazy belief that Slivens are evil—that it's somehow in their nature and it's only a matter of time before they turn on the Paralorns. It's kind of how people see pit bull dogs.

"We know that some Sliven spies are among those in the tunnels and those that were on our ships. It was impossible to weed them out, but as they have become discovered, they have been dealt with."

"Killed or locked up?" Jax asked.

"Killed," Ryland said tersely. "We have kept communications limited to a very small select group in the tunnels, so we don't think there's been communication to the Slivens. We don't think they know we have a large underground city. We also have limited communications back to Paralorn. We think it's possible that some Slivens may know we have a weapon, but they haven't been able to contact the Slivens back on Rackle."

"They could have stolen communications equipment or made their own," Jax said.

"That's what we're afraid of. Then, we're worried they know about the tunnels or the weapon. It's a very tense time for us until we get the weapon sent to our people and the war is over."

Jax looked at Tara and had the feeling that she knew something about the weapon. It could explain why she was always working in the medical unit. From what he'd heard, they didn't have the ability to send anything large to their home world. It had to be small, so it was probably some kind of bioweapon or chemical weapon. It made the most sense.

"You look like you've been awake for three days straight. You need to eat and sleep," Tara said.

Ry nodded.

"If you can do a project for me, I'll be able to do that. Jax, could you wait for me upstairs and order some beer battered onion rings for us."

Ryland had just sat down when the robots finished preparing onion rings and hamburgers.

"Thought you should eat a burger too."

"Thanks. When I wake up, I'll make the changes to the medical computer to keep you, your kids and your mother safe."

"You don't have to keep my mother safe on my account."

"I have to change her DNA to make yours come out right."

Ry stood up and went to the refrigerator.

"Beer?" he asked Jax.

"Sure."

"Any idea what you're going to do about your mother?"

Jax shook his head and stared into his beer bottle.

"Right now, I am focused on my boys."

"Are you going to have a problem with Hale running point on the search for your kids? I know it's your boys that are missing, but Hale can manage the search better than you or Tara."

Old Jax may have had a problem with that, but new Jax understood that Hale had experience, the skills and the resources. It wasn't about ego, it was about getting the boys back.

"Yeah, I'm OK with it. Hale's a good guy and I know he will do everything possible to find the boys."

"With all we have going on, we aren't going to be able to help much with finding the boys. At least until things calm down for us. We can provide money and a few people, but my involvement is going to be very limited.

"There's also another potential problem. Tara's true identity as Lorna's daughter isn't widely known. It's possible, but unlikely, that someone might try to kill her. If something happens to Lorna, Tara could be the next leader of the Paralorns on Earth. You need to be prepared to protect her if necessary."

"Does Tara know about this?"

"She does, but I may have scaled down the risk."

"Like you just did with me."

"Yeah or I may be overreacting. There's a lot going on."

"I know that feeling. I will keep Tara safe starting with not leaving her alone with my mother," Jax said, making a dark joke.

Ryland laughed and shook his head.

"That mother of yours is really something else."

"Yeah. I hadn't really adjusted to the fact that I killed her and now she's alive again."

"Maybe we'll get lucky and the system will be up soon and your kids have been found."

"I'll only have to deal with my mother rising from the dead then," Jax said drily.

"Hale's got weapons to give you. Not necessarily for you to use one your mother, but you may need to deal with whoever took the kids. Permanently. One last thing, don't assume you can trust anyone Paralorn, Sliven, human or hybrid. Stay on your guard without looking like it."

"It's like the MC."

"I'll see you in a few hours."

Jax was struck again by how decent a guy Ry appeared to be. He had the weight of a planet and a civilization on his shoulders. He couldn't help but wonder if there were more underneath that sort of noble façade. Whatever faults he might be hiding, he did seem to be looking out for Tara.

Jax watched the rain and tried to clear his mind from the tangle of thoughts. Gemma, Tara, the boys, the Paralorns, the Slivens. SAMCRO wasn't even on the list of things to worry about anymore.

He worried about Thomas because he couldn't do anything to take care of himself. He worried about Abel getting his heart medication and he worried about Abel's mental state. He had been through so much and he was at the age where he would remember and carry the emotional scars of this kidnapping. He hoped there was some misunderstanding and the boys were somewhere safe.

He deserved to suffer for being a bad father. He should have come up with a better plan for the boys than leaving them with Wendy, but he hoped that Nero would balance out the crazy. Once again, he berated himself for putting fucking SAMCRO ahead of his boys and Tara. Whoever took the boys did it because he was a shit father. His father had the same flaw. He'd been too busy pretending to be a brother instead of being a real father too.

Tara returned upstairs after almost two hours.

"Ryland's still asleep. The wait is driving me crazy."

"Ry needs sleep."

"He always seems to need sleep."

"He pushes himself. He forgets to eat."

Jax was struck by just how much Tara cared about Ryland. He had no doubt that she loved him; it just wasn't that searing passionate love that they had and he hoped to get her to feel again.

"Just an observation," Jax said, "not a criticism. He annoys the hell out of me because I want to hate him or at least dislike him but I can't."

"He really needs to be at his best. That change he's going to make to the computer system is complicated. If someone processes something with Gemma's DNA, it has to match that up with the DNA you got from Gemma, then go to the fake DNA profile for Gemma and spit that out as a result. If your DNA is processed, the system has to know to go to your fake DNA record and show those results and not the actual results. He'll put an instruction in that will then destroy the actual results. He'll do the same for the boys. He'll also put in some code so he'll know if someone is looking into Gemma, you or the boys.

"He isn't kidding about the hatred for the Slivens. He made that very clear when we were downstairs together. With war approaching, the Paralorns are paranoid or rightly worried depending on how things work out."

"And the boys are kidnapped at the worst possible time."

"I don't think there's ever a good time for a kidnapping. Do you think there's a connection between the weapon and the boys?"

Jax shook his head. "I don't know enough to really have any idea. Do you think someone could have taken the boys to trade for this weapon?"

Tara thought about that for a few moments.

"It's possible, but it won't happen. The Paralorns will never agree to trade the weapon for the boys."

"So, we'll have to rescue them in that case."

"Jax, I can't talk about the kidnapping any longer. It's killing me. I just can't think about it or I'm going to fall apart and turn into a crying mess."

He drew her into his arms.

"We are going to be in for a tough few days, but we will get through them. We will get our boys back."

"Thanks for the pep talk," she said.

Jax released her just as Ryland walked into the kitchen room.

"Is the com system up yet?"

"No, it's still down," Tara said.

"I'm going to the medical unit and make those changes. It should take me about an hour. Tara, I'm going to need a little of your help to test the program mods. We should be on our way within an hour and a half. Have you packed?" Ry asked Jax.

"I didn't even think about it," Jax confessed.

"Just have Cas tell the robots to pack. They are very efficient."

"I forgot too. Cas, please instruct robots to pack for Jax and me with a couple of days worth of clothes."

"I will instruct the robots. They pack very well and provide a wrinkle free experience," Cas said, sounding very important as always.

Jax couldn't stand sitting and doing nothing while he waited for Ry and Tara, so he decided to fight with the robots. At least it would take his mind off the boys for a few minutes.

"Jax, the robots have almost completed packing for you. Do you wish us to pack your black leather vest."

"It's called a cut," Jax said automatically.

"I've updated my files. Do you wish it packed?"

"No. I won't be needing it."

It hit Jax again that he had spent so much time in SAMCRO and now it was all just gone. Everything he had worked for with the MC was for nothing. What affection he had for his brothers had been destroyed when he found out they had ordered his father's death. He understood and would have made the same decision, but there's something wrong when belonging to a club can get you killed. They weren't fighting for some noble cause; they just wanted to make money. The cut he had worn so proudly now symbolized his wasted life, greed, murder and betrayal.

All the fight was out of him. He went upstairs to shower and change before Ryland flew them back to Charming. For the first time, he realized what an effort it must have taken for Tara to return to Charming. At least, he had the advantage that he didn't look like Jax Teller to humans.

Jax was underwhelmed by the spacecraft. He was expecting something more sci-fi. The spacecraft looked a lot like a big black helicopter without the propellers.

"We're just taking the shuttle," Ry said.

He led the way into the spacecraft, followed by Tara and Jax who was carrying their bags.

"If things ever get back to normal, maybe you could fly us cross country to see Opie and Donna in one of the larger spacecraft," Tara suggested.

"It's hard to imagine things ever getting back to normal," Ry said.

"What kind of timeline are you looking at with getting the weapon to your home planet?" Jax asked.

Ry shrugged.

"I'm not sure. We're in the final stages."

Jax looked at Ry sharply and had no clue whether or not he was telling the truth. He wondered if he could be lying to him because he was Sliven. Maybe Ryland didn't have such a tolerant view of Slivens, but he couldn't admit it in front of Tara.

"I thought you said there were other spaceships," Jax said.

"The ships are on different levels. The largest is used the least and is on the bottom."

There were three rows of two seats. They looked a lot like the seats in dental offices. Ry motioned to Jax to take the seat next to him and for Tara to sit behind Jax. Once they got into seats, they tightened molding to their bodies and hugging them.

"No seat belts required," Ry said. "Cas prepare for take-off," he instructed.

The ship was lit with a soft blue lighting. Below the rounded window of the spacecraft were banks of white and blue lights.

"It's a little weird at first," Tara said. "They use noise cancelling tech to make the ship run silently. It's going to be a big fast straight up pull."

"It's quick and the g-forces will push you down into your seat hard," Ry added.

"The first time we landed, I was scared to death," Tara said. "It just starts dropping faster than a roller coaster. I was sure we were crashing into the ground and then there's this gentle bounce as the landing skids touch down."

"It sounds like it's still better than flying on a plane. No airport security," Jax said.

"I shouldn't admit this, but the ship flies itself. There's a triple back-up in case of computer failure. I do train once a month just in case something happens and I have to actually fly," Ry said.

"Ready for take-off," Cas said.

"Is that the same Cas?" Jax asked.

"No. This one coordinates with the house Cas, but this one just flies."

"It only feels like you're dying for the first few minutes," Tara said encouragingly.

"Great. Best news of the day."

"Cas, take-off," Ryland said.

Tara hadn't underestimated how fast the ship took off straight up. It then moved horizontally, but he didn't notice the speed. That part was like an airplane.

"What do you do when you fly? There's not anything to see," Jax said, looking out of the large bubble window and seeing nothing but darkness.

"I usually work."

Jax wondered if Ryland ever had fun. That could give him an edge in the competition for Tara. He couldn't see Tara with some dry, humorless guy.

Tara explained about most of the Paralorns live in the gated community with tunnels connecting many of the houses.

"We're landing," Ry warned.

Tara had not underestimated the landing. It felt like they were freefalling to the ground, gathering speed as they went until suddenly there was a little bounce and they were back on land.

"I'm just dropping you two off. Hale will take it from here."

The seats loosened their hold and they were able to leave the seats. Ry handed Tara her bag and said something in a low voice to her that Jax couldn't hear.

When Jax grabbed his bag and walked past Ryland, Ry stopped him.

"I want you to understand that just because Tara and I are no longer having sex, that doesn't mean that you've won. It only means that she needs some room to make a decision. You need to back-off some of the sexual pressure."

"Good luck with your weapon," Jax said, concealing his surprise that Tara wasn't sleeping with Ryland anymore.

As soon as they were out of the spacecraft and a safe distance away, it took off disappearing completely in the night sky just as all the technology intended. The roof slid closed and Tara led Jax down another tunnel.

As they turned a corner, they saw Hale waiting for him. He was wearing khakis and a bright blue and white Hawaiian print shirt. His hair was a little longer and bleached a couple of shades lighter from the sun.

He immediately hugged Tara and she kissed him on the cheek. Jax felt again the stirrings of jealousy. He always suspected Hale was in love with Tara.

"Hale," Jax said, "I'm glad you're back."

"I get to take another swing at destroying SAMCRO," he said.

"Good luck. I actually mean that," Jax said with a laugh.

"That death experience changes everything."

"Yeah that and screwing up your life so bad that driving into a truck seems like a good idea."

"I'm glad Tara got to you in time."

"Jax, my ability to stop time is another kind of secret. Hale, Ry, you and Meg are the only ones who know."

"I'm ready to brief you and lay out my plans for finding the boys. Skeeter, Aranora and Louise are waiting. We can get extra resources by hiring people, but in terms of the core group, we're only using hybrids or Paralorns."

"To keep the alien secret," Tara added.

"I know we can trust you and as much as my ego wants to be in charge, I know you're the best person."

Hale looked shocked.

"You have changed."

"I'm working on it."

Hale continued to lead them down tunnels and up staircases.

"If you get lost, ask Taz—my automated version of Cas and she'll navigate you to where you want to go. I think it took me months before I figured out the layout."

"That's because you didn't ask for directions," Tara said.

Hale laughed.

He led them through a doorway into a conference room. The room had the beachy feel that matched Hale's shirt. It was done in sandy beige carpet a large beige conference table and sea green chairs that matched the walls. One wall was black with different colors of writing on it. Hale already had done a lot of work laying out his plans.

After everyone exchanged greetings, Jax and Tara took chairs at the table while Hale went to the board. Before he could even open his mouth, someone rang the doorbell. Hale looked up at a corner of the blackboard and saw his doorstep. Of all the visitors who could have been on his doorstep, this one might be the most surprising.

"I'll be back," Hale said.

He walked down a hall into the terra cotta tiled entryway and opened the door.

"Juice, I wasn't expecting to see you."

"Juice is dead. My name's JC. I want to help find the boys."

Does Juice really want to help find the kids or is he planning some revenge on Jax for all the bad that happened?

 **NEXT UP** _ **JUICE GETS MADE**_

The next chapter is going to be Juice's backstory. It will reveal why he was so susceptible to blackmail by Roosevelt. There will be many revelations about Juice or JC including one that is truly heartbreaking or several heartbreaking revelations depending on how easy it is to break your heart.

It may also reveal what JC's true intentions.

 _And thanks again to HunterT who suggested bringing Juice back from the dead. I'd like to think that I would have thought of it eventually, but probably not._

 **AND PLEASE REVIEW**

 **Next Up for Me**

A short chapter for 52 Shades of Jax. Who would be the best speaker for a safe sex lesson—a parent, a teacher, a priest or . . . Jax?

 **Tara's Story's next chapter in about two weeks.**


	21. Chapter 21

18

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 20 Recap**

Jax discovers that some Paralorns believe that Slivens are evil. Ryland goes into the computer system and changes the program to keep Jax and the kids safe by making them Paralorns.

Tara reveals she isn't sleeping with Ry anymore. He flies them to Charming and drops them off.

Hale holds a meeting to discuss finding the boys. Juice appears claiming he wants to help. He also says his name is JC because Juice is dead.

 **Chapter 21** _ **Juice Gets Made**_

 **Author's Note** **This is a short history of Juice just hitting the events that shaped him. It has his most important history and it explains key plot points in SOA. To get to this portrait, I looked at Juice at the end of SOA like an answer to a math equation and then I figured out what it took to get to the answer. For the key plot points of SOA, he is looking back after his death from the advantage of being reborn or resurrected thanks to the alien part of him. Just as Tara and Jax realized hard truths about themselves after they died, Juice did too.**

 **This chapter isn't essential to Jax Is Really Alive, but it may provide clues to what his true intentions are when he volunteers to help Jax and Tara find their boys.**

 **I was never a Juice fan. The first season I watched was Season 4 when Juice was beginning his downward spiral, so I think that had a lot to do with it. I have since watched all the seasons multiple times with the exception of the last two seasons. They were just so dark.**

 **After writing this, my feelings for Juice have changed. He's not my favorite character, but I see why he is the way he is and I have compassion for him, especially since he is so brutally honest about the last part of his life. He's a damaged, flawed man who is torn between trying to right the wrongs of the past and getting vengeance.**

His mother always called him Juan Carlos. He hated it, but when you're a kid, you just have to put up with stuff. He had to put up with a lot from his mother. She was nuts. Really actually crazy. When you're raised with crazy, that's your normal. You think everyone's mother is like that.

He didn't remember his parents ever living together, but his father visited him often and even took him for whole weekends sometimes. He was a cook at a diner and wanted to get his own food truck. He would make him the best breakfasts with fried potatoes, bacon, pancakes and scrambled eggs. His dad used to give him piggy back rides and he even taught him how to ride a bicycle. He told him he wanted him to come live with him all the time, but he couldn't tell his mother his plans.

A few weeks before his sixth birthday, his father quit coming around. He asked his mother and she told him she didn't know where his father was. He'd discovered by this time when he asked his mother questions, the answers could change. He kept asking about his father, hoping he would get a better answer. After asking his mother at least six times, she told him his father got shot when he and a friend tried to rob an old lady in a parking lot. The bottom of his world fell out that day.

He would never see his father again and he would never be able to escape from his mother. And what really happened to his father kept changing. He waited awhile and asked his mother about his father again. He was hoping for a different answer that wasn't that his father was dead.

His mother told him a very dramatic story about his father being a meth cook and that the lab blew up, killed him and caught his apartment on fire. He kept asking and he kept getting different answers; the only common point was that his father was dead.

It wasn't until he'd become a teenager that he had used the internet to find out what happened to his father. There had been a convenience store robbery. Shots were fired. His father used his body to shield a pregnant woman and he had been killed. His father was a hero.

That was one of the rare times that he confronted his mother with her lies. He demanded to know why she hadn't told him the truth. His mother shrugged and said she didn't know. Finally, as his voice grew louder, his mother broke down and admitted that his father made a choice to die. He had been selfish when he saved the woman because he had a son he needed to live for. Leave it to his mother to take a heroic selfless act and turn it into something selfish.

He also discovered some online legal records showing his father had filed papers to take custody of him away from his mother saying she was an unfit mother. He really had been telling him the truth about wanting him to live with him.

With his father gone, he had no refuge from his mother. When she enrolled him in kindergarten, she told his teacher that he was autistic, that he'd been normal until he got some vaccinations and then he'd suddenly gone all autistic. His mother went on to tell the teacher that she had fought for him and got him treatment. She also worked with him and the autism disappeared. She loved making herself into a caring and fierce mother.

When he was in second grade, they moved and his mother enrolled him in a new school. She told them that he was dyslexic and she had worked with him to retrain his brain to see letters correctly. Once again, she portrayed herself as this great mother. It was always about her.

They moved again in the middle of third grade. This time she told them that he was special ed. She told him he was only average, but in a room full of "retards" as she called them, he could really shine. It didn't matter that his records didn't show that he was in special ed, she insisted the school put him in special ed classes. They agreed until they could test him to find out what was best for him. His mother coached him to do badly on the tests, so he could stay in special ed and be a superstar. She told him to think of the answer and then pick any answer but that one. He followed her instructions and scored low enough that he could stay in special ed where he was the top student. He enjoyed being the smartest kid in the room, but he was also bored.

His teacher caught on by the end of the school year, so he was placed in a regular classroom for fourth grade. Once again, his mother claimed it was her parenting that caused this to happen. She loved playing the great mother, but it was just a role and it was always her accomplishment. She had fixed him.

When he and Tig had been tasked with stealing a truck from Unser to transport guns to the Indian Hills charter (Season 1), he had dosed the Doberman watchdog with crystal. Instead of dying or at least passing out, the dog had been amped. He hadn't thought it through. Tig had asked him if he were retarded and he'd said no.

He'd had a flashback to the day he was sitting in that ugly gray office with his mom trying to con the school's counselor into believing he needed to be in special ed. She'd had a surprisingly easy time of it.

They lived in a small one bedroom apartment, but he had his own bedroom of sorts. She found a broken card table in someone's trash and brought it home. She fixed the broken legs with duct tape and put a blanket over it. That became his bedroom. His mother told him it was a tent and he was camping. When he got bigger, she got another card table from a Salvation Army and his tent got bigger.

Truth was always a moving target. Once he asked his mother if it were raining. She told him it wasn't. He looked outside and discovered it was pouring rain. He asked her why she hadn't told him the truth. He remembered this look on her face like she smelled something bad. She told him if he knew the answer to the question, he shouldn't have asked her, then she told him that somewhere it wasn't raining so her answer had been correct.

There was the usual constant stream of men that came and went from the apartment. They didn't beat her or physically or sexually abuse him, so he had it pretty good. None of them ever stayed longer than a few weeks until Tony, a Puerto Rican widower with two daughters aged five and seven. He didn't stay overnight. His mother stayed overnight with Tony leaving him alone. He was nine. She told him not to use the stove, light fires or open the door to anyone. In her own way, she cared for him. She made sure he always had bread, lunch meat and potato chips so he could make his own dinner.

After she had been seeing Tony for almost a year, she told him they were getting married and he would live with them. He would even have his own real bedroom and he wouldn't have to sleep on the floor under a card table. He needed to do just one thing—lie about his father. She told him Tony hated black people. If Tony found out his father was black; Tony would throw him out of the house. He would have to live on the streets and suck old men's dicks for money and there would be nothing she could do about it. He had been scared to death, just as she intended.

She took all the pictures of his father and burned them. From that point on, she told him to tell everyone that his father was Puerto Rican and he'd been killed in a drive by shooting. She rehearsed him on the details over and over so he told the same story consistently.

It was only as an adult that he appreciated the irony of his mother making sure he got his story straight—something she could never do except about his father being Puerto Rican and not black. That was the only story she could tell consistently.

She made him feel there was something wrong with him because he was part black, so hiding it became his new normal. Even after his mother died when he was seventeen, he still lied about his father. Sometimes, he even began to believe the lie. He began to think that she might have lied about his father being his father. She lied about everything, why not that?

Life with Tony and his two daughters had actually been pretty good. He didn't yell at him or hit him. He tolerated him and there were times when he was actually nice like the year he bought him a second-hand computer for Christmas.

His mother became paranoid believing the government was watching her. She didn't know why the government would be watching her, but there were times when she was sure she was going to be arrested. Like an addict needs drugs, she needed drama and chaos, so she created it.

He believed his mother's need to create chaos caused his OCD and his need to keep things neat and orderly. It began when he first moved in with Tony after his mother married him. Everything had to be neat and lined up in his bedroom or he couldn't go to sleep. The more chaos his mother created, the more he needed to create order in his world. It began to extend beyond his room. The bathroom he shared with his stepsisters had to be neat and orderly. He was constantly cleaning up after them, but he knew better than to complain. Those were Tony's girls and Tony would take their side. All he could do was clean. Eventually, he was cleaning the whole house except the bedrooms of the girls and his mother and Tony's room.

When he was thirteen, his mother warned him about how girls used pregnancy as a way to trap boys and he had better make sure he never got a girl pregnant or he would get tossed out of the house. This time, she'd left out the part that he would be homeless and forced to suck old men's dicks for money.

He followed his mother's direction though. He used condoms whenever he had sex even when the girl said she was using birth control pills. He had never had a serious girlfriend. His longest relationship lasted six months. At the bottom of it all, he was afraid all girls would turn out to be like his mother and he was self-aware enough to not want to repeat that pattern.

His mother left and reconciled with Tony at least six times each time taking him and going to stay with a friend for a day or two.

Near the end of her life, Tony was finally done with her. They were still living with Tony in his house, but his mother and Tony were in the process of getting a divorce.

She didn't want the divorce. Tony had the nicest place she'd ever lived in and he was a good provider. She took a bottle of sleeping pills. He never believed she meant to kill herself. He always thought she had timed it so Tony would find her and get her medical help. It was a manipulation. She thought Tony would stay with her either because he would realize how much he still loved her or he would feel guilty over her trying to kill herself. Tony had to work overtime unexpectedly, so he didn't discover her in time.

Tony let him live with him and his daughters until he finished high school. His relationship with his stepfather improved without the constant poison of his mother and her destructive lies. His stepfather died of a heart attack a few years after he'd finished high school. His stepsisters had married and were busy with their lives, so he decided to go to Charming and see if he could find any of his mother's family.

He came up empty. His grandmother died leaving not a single living relative behind. He liked the small town and decided to stay. When he lived in New York, he'd worked at an internet café. That's where he learned his computer hacking skills. Charming wasn't an internet café sort of town, so he got a job at Lumpy's gym. He began to bulk up thanks to his use of steroids.

He used the move as an opportunity to re-invent himself. He was tired of looking like everyone else. He was just one of the many brown haired, brown-eyed, brown skinned people who were quickly forgotten. He didn't want to blend in anymore. He got a motorcycle, a Mohawk and head tattoos. Now everyone would remember him. He no longer used his much hated name of Juan Carlos and went by Juan.

His motorcycle needed work so he brought it to TM. He liked the guys and began to hang around the MC's clubhouse. He had always been a loner, but he enjoyed hanging around the guys.

Clay became a father figure to him. He had been ridiculously happy when Clay gave him the nickname of Juice because he used steroids. He'd never had a nickname. He quit using steroids a short time later because he was worried they would shrink his junk. Still, the nickname stuck.

He thought Clay looked at him as a kind of adopted son. He was even more sure that was true when Clay sponsored him when he moved from hang around to prospect.

SAMCRO needed him because they needed someone who was tech savvy. He was good with computers and had learned a lot about electronic surveillance online. Clay also needed someone else he could depend on to vote his way.

He loved the club—the rides, the excitement of minor law breaking, hanging out with the guys and the easy availability of pussy. He loved feeling that he belonged. It was a first for him. He felt cool for the first time in his life. He wasn't sleep walking through his life. He was actually _living_ it. He was just a little hazy on just how far outside the law the MC operated.

Violence had never been part of his life. He blended in with his environment and walked his own path. When he got jumped in the chicken man's van (SOA Season 3), Salazar and his crew took his cut. He hadn't put up much of a fight for it. When Alvarez returned his cut, Jax told him to make it right and Salazar was shoved into the middle of a ring formed by SAMCRO and the Mayans. He had hit and kicked Salazar trying to make a good show of it, but the truth was he didn't enjoy fighting. Even when he worked at Lumpy's gym, his job duties were limited to taping hands, spotting guys when they lifted weights and keeping the gym neat and organized.

He had been stunned when he had to serve time for the church assault. Thanks to Jax's clever manipulation of ATF bitch from hell June Stahl, they got the minimum sentence. It hadn't been so bad because they were locked up together.

The day they got out of prison should have been the best day of his life, but instead, it was one of the worst because he had to kill for the first time. For business reasons and to retaliate for Jax getting shivved in prison, they wiped out most of Putlova's crew.

When he pulled the trigger, all he could think of was the man who killed his father. Did that never caught murderer ever think about the man's life he took? Did he ever wonder if that man had children that had been left without a father? Those questions haunted him after he'd killed his target. He tried to think of it as putting a round through a target, but he knew it was more. He kept thinking about the people who loved the man.

He hadn't shaken off the murder when Roosevelt showed him a file with a picture of his father. If he'd been smarter, stronger and tougher, he would have denied that it was a picture of his father, said his mother was a whore who had no idea who his daddy was, his birth certificate stated he was Hispanic and his father's name wasn't on it. He should have told Roosevelt to go fuck himself.

Instead, he acted reflexively. He had to keep the black secret at all costs. His mother taught him that and that training just took over.

Roosevelt told him if SAMCRO found out he was black, they would strip his patch, force him to cover his ink and beat or even kill him. It was Roosevelt's version of his mother telling him he would be homeless and sucking old men's dicks.

He tried to tell himself that he was saving SAMCRO from RICO, kind of like Jax had with the ATF. He even managed to lie to himself for awhile and tell himself that he was acting in SAMCRO's best interests because he didn't want to face the truth—that he was weak and a coward.

He should have gone to SAMCRO and told them Roosevelt was trying to blackmail him into helping with a RICO case against them by faking paperwork saying his father was black. He had just needed to be a little smarter and a little tougher.

Roosevelt asked for a sample of the coke that SAMCRO had muled back from Arizona and he got it. Of course, being the screw-up that he was, he fell asleep and didn't return the brick to the storeroom after getting the sample. When Miles caught him with the brick, shooting him was a reflex. He didn't make any conscious decision to kill him, but he didn't have any choice. If the MC found that he'd taken the brick, they would have killed him.

Killing Miles was even worse than killing the nameless Russian guy. He knew Miles. He made extra money painting houses, had a live-in girlfriend named Rachel who was pregnant with their first child and had an invalid mother he helped. He kept thinking about the child Rachel was carrying who would never know Miles. He'd had at least had a few years with his father.

He became consumed with self-hatred. He was haunted by thoughts of Rachel, Miles' unborn child and Miles' sick mother. He caused so much misery for them. It was because he was weak and didn't stand up to Roosevelt and it was because he was a screw up for not taking the coke sample and returning it.

Miles was buried in an unmarked grave without his patch, just another person who disappeared without a trace. He struggled with knowing that Rachel and Miles' mother didn't even know he was dead. Rachel called him asking for help finding Miles. He used to wonder how long Rachel and his mother would live with the hope that Miles was still alive before finally accepting that he was dead.

He was consumed with so much self-hatred; he couldn't take it anymore. That's when he tried to kill himself, but, being such a screw up, he'd failed at that too. He'd walked through the mine field (Season 4, episode Call of Duty) without regard for his safety. Getting blown up would have been a relief. It would end the constant shouting in his head about the hell he had unleashed on Miles' loved ones.

As time passed, the shouting subsided and he worried that was even worse. He didn't want to be Tig or Happy. He didn't want to be a cold-blooded killer. As much as the self-loathing hurt, it was better than being numb.

After Roosevelt tipped him off that Jax knew he'd been the RICO rat, he did a lot of soul searching. He had never been close to Jax. In truth, he was jealous of him because he was tall, blonde haired, blue-eyed and movie star handsome. He was also charming, smart, mentally and physical tough and a natural leader. It didn't seem fair for someone to be born with so many advantages. Jax was the person he wished he could be.

The next morning, he went to Jax's house and asked if he could earn his way back. He had no idea if Jax would make a deal with him, but he bet his life there was a way back for him. He knew being a rat was a death sentence. He didn't want the club he loved to kill him.

His only shot at staying alive was to either run or make a deal with Jax. With the passage of time, the life he had been so desperate to take when he tried to hang himself, he was even more desperate to keep.

He agreed to help Jax get the ammo he needed to kick Clay out of the club. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that if Jax could prove that Clay was using the Nomads to undermine his leadership, Clay would likely find himself meeting Mr. Mayhem. As it turned out, Clay only got kicked out and not killed thanks to Bobby. It was only temporary.

That was such a noble thing—betraying someone who trusted him. Clay had always been pretty good to him, but when he had to make a choice, he made the one that kept him alive. He tried to console himself with the thought that Clay deserved what he got because he was working against the club. Loyalty to the club was above personal loyalty.

Jax wasn't finished using him to destroy Clay. He called him and instructed him to put Clay's gun, the distinctive gun Bobby had given to him, fitted with a silencer in his saddlebag. Later, Jax and Tig would use the gun to kill Damon Pope and some of his associates. Jax hid the gun and told Roosevelt where to find it, framing Clay.

Clay was saying good-bye to him, telling him that he loved him and he would miss him the most (Season 5 last episode). He thought he was going to Ireland with Galen and Gemma to begin a new life. Clay also told him that he knew he had helped Jax and betrayed him, but he understood he didn't have a choice because Jax had leverage on him with RICO.

He thought Clay was sincere, so he tried to help him one last time. He urged him to take his bike and run. Clay had no idea that the biggest betrayal was to come within minutes; he had helped frame him for Damon Pope and his associates' murders. Gemma was even in on it, lying about Clay not being with her at the time of the killings.

With Clay locked up, he hoped that the club could find its way back to normal. Less murder and more brotherhood, but it only got worse and more hellish.

Jax ordered him to kill Darvony, a junkie whose son brought a SAMCRO supplied gun to school and used it to kill. He had been the good little soldier and killed her. He told himself that he was doing her a favor. She was grief stricken and she was a junkie. Sooner or later, she would OD. He was cutting short her grieving. For awhile, he actually thought of killing her as a mercy killing.

He told Nero that Darvony was killed on Jax's orders. Once again, he'd put himself in Jax's crosshairs. Beneath his blonde good looks, Jax was a cold blooded killer. He just looked better doing it.

When Gemma killed Tara, he'd shot Roosevelt without even thinking. He had gone through that scene so many times and he never could get the answer. He didn't know if he killed Roosevelt to protect Gemma or if he killed him because he hated him and blamed him for all the RICO hell. In the end, he realized it didn't matter. Roosevelt was dead. Figuring out why didn't change that.

He came up with blaming Tara's and Roosevelt's deaths on the Chinese. He could have blamed it on a van of Satan worshipers passing through town. That kind of stuff occasionally happened in California. It's highly populated and there's a lot of insanity there. Either he or Gemma could have said they saw a couple of guys run to a van and take off. Or, they could have said nothing.

He knew the Chinese lie would set Jax on fire. It caused absolute chaos. His mother would have loved it. There was a part of him that enjoyed watching Jax go through hell until he realized he was on the same ride. He should have seen that coming. That was one of his fatal flaws; he couldn't see far enough ahead when he did shit. That was one of the reasons he was a follower and not a leader.

He spent a lot of time hating Jax, blaming him for everything. It was easier than facing the truth—he was weak. He couldn't fault Jax for exploiting his weakness. That's what leaders do. He was the president of a violent group of murderers. What did he expect? Disneyland? Jax was always going to do what was best for SAMCRO. That's why he was a leader.

It was all his own fucking fault. His RICO decision caused every bad thing in his life to happen. Still, he clung to SAMCRO with a pathetic desperation. He wanted to stay a member and he killed to keep his place at the table. He became a cold-blooded killer.

He hated Jax then and still had hate in his heart for him, but it was nothing compared to the hate he had inside for himself and for being the sniveling little bitch that sucked up to Jax, desperate to stay in SAMCRO. Even in the end of his fucking life, he'd gone to his death meekly, just wanting SAMCRO to know that he'd stayed loyal. What a fucking weak-assed loser!

The most painful self-realization was saved for after his death when he was looking back over his life. He wasn't violent. He wasn't a criminal. He wasn't a killer. He wasn't SAMCRO. He had destroyed his life and that of so many others trying to fit in.

 **AS ALWAYS, PLEASE REVIEW. I'D REALLY LIKE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF JUICE'S BACK STORY.**

Author's Note: I know this is a very dark chapter, but I think it matches Juice's character. Also if Juice is in a mentally good place in this chapter, there's no where for him to go but down. He has to earn his redemption—just like he tried so many times with Jax. Hopefully for him, this time things will work out better for him.

If you need to cheer yourself up, check out either Strange Times for SAMCRO or 52 Shades of Jax. I read them (even though I wrote them) when I need some lightness. Of course when I read them, I pick at my writing and drive myself crazy.

And of course I didn't disclose whether Juice (now JC) is sincere in wanting to help find the boys or if he's going after Jax and he's using the boys or is going to use the boys to do that.

 **Next Up for Me** I'm taking July off to work on a new non SOA writing project. I'll be back with a new chapter for Tara's Story and then the next week, a new chapter for JIRA. I'll also post a new 52 Shades chapter. That story is a lot of fun to write.


	22. Chapter 22

9

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 21 Recap**

Juice now calls himself JC. His back story is revealed and it explains why Juice made some of his choices. JC came to the harsh realization that he was never SAMCRO. He wasn't a violent criminal. He was just a guy who was so starved for family and a place to belong that he made bad decisions that lead him to SAMCRO. He knows that he was weak when he should have been smarter and stronger.

Chapter 21 is a stand alone chapter. You don't need to read it to follow the story, but it does give insight into Juice and it also may give hints about the sincerity of his offer to help Jax and Tara find their boys. He may also not be completely settled in his feelings for Jax.

 **Chapter 22 Wendy Makes a Friend**

Hale led JC back through a maze of staircases and corridors. Hale's home served as the emergency operating center for the Paralorns, so it had its own bunker system, supplies, sleeping quarters, medical facilities and communications system all underground with the ability to withstand a direct nuclear strike.

Hale was using one of the small underground conference rooms to manage the hunt for the boys. Skeeter and Aranora, now sporting chrome colored hair with baby blue tips, were sitting on one side of the conference table, Jax and Tara were sitting across from them. Louise (Season 1 Pilot episode, convenience store clerk) sat at the head of the table.

"I go by JC now," the former Juice said as soon as he walked into the room.  
"Juice is the name of a dead loser who was weak. I'm not that guy anymore. I'm not here for you, Jax or you, Tara. I'm here because my parents told me that your boys have been kidnapped. I'm here to help find _them_."

For the first time ever, Jax looked at JC with something close to respect. He always thought of Juice as a weak loser who was useful thanks to his computer skills.

Despite Juice's Chinese lie and all the bad that followed, Jax knew he needed to let it go. Juice had paid a huge price for his lie, but Jax had paid an even higher price.

Now though finding the boys was all that mattered. Focus on the living. The past was over, or at least, it could be dealt with at a better time.

"Thank you for coming here," Jax said. He would do whatever he needed to do. If that meant being nice to JC, that was what he was going to do.

"Thanks," Tara echoed with less enthusiasm.

"Have a seat," Hale said. "I just started the briefing when the system's cameras caught you knocking at the door."

JC took an empty seat next to Aranora and across from Tara.

"The boys didn't wander off," Hale said. "We know they were taken. That's about all we know. It's still possible that it was a stranger abduction. There aren't a lot of traffic cameras in that area, so there's not much to go on. That's the worst case scenario because it will make finding them very difficult.

"For now, I think we focus on three areas, Gemma, SAMCRO and Norco. Skeeter and Aranora are handling SAMCRO. Skeeter has existing contacts within the MC and Aranora has been going undercover as a crow-eater. She's also going to Oregon to find out what she can about Gemma's death and see if she can identify who might be helping her. Tara and Jax will head to Norco to find and talk to Nero and Wendy. JC, that leaves finding Gemma. I know it's a big request and there's history between the two of you."

"I didn't think this was going to be easy. I'll do whatever needs doing to find the boys," JC said with quiet confidence.

Hale nodded.

"Good. Louise is the point person. I can't always be available, but she will be. Call her with _any_ information. Even coming to a dead end in an investigation needs to be reported. If you need anything, she will get it to you. She will be constructing the info boards and sending updates to your phones in real time. I'm hoping that one of these three areas we're investigating will lead to the break we need to find the boys."

"I've got your flight to Oregon arranged, the car rental reserved and your ID as a reporter," Louise said handing a large manila envelope to Aranora. "You might want to get a wig and have more conservative hair. You don't want to be remembered."

"Fine," Aranora said sullenly. "I'll use one of my boring ugly brown-haired wigs."

"Skeeter, when you have your casual conversation with SAMCRO, see if you can find out anything about what's going on with the windows at SAMCRO. It's making the town very nervous. The windows have been shot out almost as fast as they have been replaced. People are afraid to shop in that area despite all the window vandalism being done at night when all the businesses have been closed," Hale said.

"You think the boys' kidnapping and the windows are related?" Jax asked.

"No, but it would be normal for Skeeter to ask SAMCRO about it. Maybe SAMCRO will shed some light on who is on their current enemies list. _That_ could help us out with the boys."

Hale ended the meeting. Skeeter, Aranora and JC left.

"So are you a came over on the spaceship alien or hybrid?" Jax asked Louise.

"Hybrid," Louise said. "I choked to death on a big gumball when I was two. There was no one around to help me, no Heimlich maneuver, just death and a return to life. My parents are Paralorn, so at least they knew what to do. They told everyone I was mauled by a dog and had to have reconstructive surgery to explain why I looked different."

"Hybrids stick together," Tara said.

"The most exclusive club in the world," Louise said with a smile. "I'm going to grab some sleep in the bunk room while I can," she said getting to her feet. She gave Hale a long, lingering glance.

Jax had seen that same look on Louise's face when he would come into the convenience store. He never made a move on her. For all his faults, he'd always kept his casual sexual conquests confined to girls who understood the score. He had enough kindness in him to exclude the girls who might mistake him for a long term romance.

Once Tara left Charming, Jax just accepted that he would never have passionate love for another woman. He drowned himself in casual sex and weed.

"Thanks for helping," Jax said.

"Good night, Hale," Louise said with one last lingering look.

"Don't," Hale said to Tara pointing his finger at her.

Tara laughed.

"She's perfect for you, Hale. She's pretty, smart and she wants to be a police officer."

"I don't need the misery of a relationship," Hale said.

Jax noticed the look Hale and Tara exchanged and he wondered again about exactly what had gone on between the two of them back in high school. (Future Tara's Story chapters) Or maybe even now, judging by the way Hale was looking at Tara.

"Do you trust JC?" Jax asked.

Hale shook his head.

"The only two people I trust are you and Tara. You want your boys back."

"He has a lot of reasons to hate me. I hope he's really changed and grown, but it's a big change for a short span of time. He may not be behind the boys' kidnapping, but he may want to attach himself to the investigation because he wants to take them or kill them once we've found them. It would be his ultimate revenge on me," Jax said.

"Yeah, I've thought about that too. We'll be prepared."

Hale's phone vibrated. He listened and ended the call by thanking Louise.

"Louise has Taz monitor video and radio for any mention of Jax, the boys or anyone else connected to him. She checked and found this. Taz video of Wendy Case on screen. It's not good."

A bedraggled Wendy with hair in wild disarray, smeared eyeliner and rumpled clothes that looked like she'd slept in them for a couple of days appeared standing next to a woman wearing a bright red suit. They were standing in front of a hospital. The woman stepped away from Wendy and spoke into a cluster of microphones representing all the major local Southern California TV news stations.

"My name is Flora Whitehead and I am representing Wendy Case," the woman paused dramatically before continuing, "She is finally ready to speak about the kidnapping of her boys."

Flora Whitehead was a new female attorney who was hoping to make a name for herself by attaching herself to a woman having trouble in her life that might generate a lot of media attention. Reluctantly, she stepped away from the microphones and allowed Wendy to step in front of them.

"My name is Wendy Case. I haven't been able to make any public statements about what happened to my boys. After going on his murder spree, Jax Teller, my former husband, tracked me down to Norco where I was staying with a friend. I had been a meth addict, but I'd been clean for many years. I worked as a substance abuse counselor helping others," Wendy said. She looked over at her attorney who nodded her head in approval. "Jax Teller injected me with an overdose of meth and took my boys. He knew that was the only way he could get them away from me. I would have gone to my death fighting to save them from me . . . I mean saving them from him."

"That lying, fucking bitch," Jax said in a voice tight with anger.

"Junky whore," Tara pitched in on the Wendy dis train using one of Gemma's favorite names for Wendy.

"Jax, if you can hear me, just leave the boys somewhere safe and call 911 with their location."

Flora shoved Wendy aside.

"That's all for now. Ms. Case is just trying to deal with what could be the death of her beloved sons."

Wendy cast an alarmed look at Flora and her eyes teared up.

The broadcast cut away to the local NBC news affiliate reporter who summed up what Wendy said and recapped Jax's murder spree on the day he appeared to have miraculously dodged certain death when he seemed to be heading straight into a large truck. Jax's picture was put on screen and the audience was told that he was armed and extremely dangerous. The reporter urged viewers to be on the look out for him, not to approach him and to call law enforcement.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" Hale asked, shaking his head. "That isn't going to get the kids found."

"This is your fucking fault," Tara said to Jax. "Oh, I don't think you should kill Wendy," she mocked him. "Worrying about the kids for the rest of her life is punishment enough. Fucking pussy. And I mean you and not her. I'm going to kill her and no one is going to stop me. I'm going to bed now. Alone," she said looking at both men.

"If I don't leave the room, I'm going to go off on you all over again, Jax. You deserve it because you put SAM fucking CRO and your pretend brothers ahead of your own real sons. How the hell do you come up with some plan that allows that junky whore to raise our boys? If we don't get our boys back, Wendy may not be the only person I kill." Tara said, storming from the room.

"Don't kill anyone in Charming," Hale called after her.

"I keep hoping I'll wake up and this will all just be a nightmare."

"Reconciliation's hit a rough patch, huh?" Hale asked.

The absurdity of the situation hit Jax and he began to laugh.

 **NEXT UP: Fire Fight**

Hale surprises Jax with a gift and reveals to him how he's changed since returning to life. More drama and turmoil with a fiery end as I move the story to be more plot driven and less emotion driven story. Jax comes up with a shocking plan that no one will see coming. It will completely change Jax, but not in the way he was thinking about changing in the first chapter of Strange Times for SAMCRO.

The emotion will still be there because that is what keeps me coming back to writing this story. It's just interesting to me to see these characters trying to deal with the mess of their lives after Season 7 and after I torture them a bit.

Future chapters—murder, murder and probably another murder, more conflict, Nero returns, Wendy returns and SAMCRO enters the story in a bigger way. No one is safe.

All of the characters who have returned to life have sort of found their better selves, but what about Gemma? She's either going to be a better version of herself or even more evil. This was a woman who gave birth to a baby girl and killed her, so if she's a lot worse . . . WATCH OUT! Evil Gemma sounds like a lot more fun than sweet Gemma.

 **NEXT UP FOR ME:** **I'm going to do another chapter of Jax Is Really Alive because I'm trying to go more to shorter chapters posted more often. The pace of the story is better. I also want to do the new chapter while the plot points are fresh in my mind.**

In about two to three weeks, another chapter of Tara's Story. Possibly another chapter of 52 Shades of Jax where Tara may get her legs around the hot blonde biker Jax. If only she can control herself and avoid touching, biting or licking him. It's just a silly fun read because I need a little light to balance some of the dark and all the big drama and it's a fun story to write.


	23. Chapter 23

13

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 22 Recap**

Hale leads the investigation into the kidnapping of Abel and Thomas. He concentrates on three areas SAMCRO, Norco and Gemma. Skeeter and Aranora are going to look into SAMCRO, Jax and Tara will go to Norco to find Nero and Wendy and JC will hunt Gemma. JC makes it clear that he's a stronger and better person and he isn't that loser Juice anymore. He is there to help the boys. Skeeter, Aranora and JC leave.

Louise will run point on the search for the boys and provide all logistical support. She leaves to grab some sleep, but calls Hale with news. There's a news clip of Wendy. She tells every major TV station that Jax shot her up with meth and took the kids. She urges Jax to leave the boys somewhere safe and call 911.

Both Jax and Tara are furious. Tara turns on Jax and tells him that she's going to kill Wendy and, if they don't get the boys back, she may kill someone else. She storms off.

Hale asks Jax if they have hit a rough patch in their reconciliation.

 **Chapter 23 Fire Fight**

"When I was in high school, I never would have imagined that my life would take this turn," Jax said. "Aliens, kidnapping and dead people coming back to life. What a fucked up life."

"It's better than your human life," Hale pointed out.

"Yeah, that's true. It's still a fucked up life."

"You want to grab some beer upstairs? I've set up my own microbrewery. I bottled a new batch of stout last night."

"Sure," Jax said.

"How did you die? I know Tara rescued you from the truck because alien or not, you wouldn't have survived that."

"How can you tell that I died?"

"There's a faint purple glow that isn't visible to the human eye around all hybrids or Paralorns."

Jax stared at Hale for a moment before nodding his head.

"I see it now. I don't know how I didn't notice it before. Tara killed me with a drug overdose. I should have told her that. She's already killed me once, twice is just asking too much," Jax said with a rueful smile.

Hale laughed.

"Life as an alien is always challenging."

"Especially when the mother you murdered in cold blood comes back to life."

"It was a surprise to the other Paralorns too. Someone was experimenting on humans before us. You have no idea the paranoid scramble that happened when I notified Ryland. Maybe Gemma will have a come to Jesus moment and be a better version of herself."

"There's plenty of room for improvement," Jax said.

He led Jax through the passages and the twists and turns until they arrived at a room that looked like a bar that should have been on the beach in Hawaii. Wooden floors, framed surf posters, a couple of tables with chairs and a large sand colored bean bag sofa gave the room the casual atmosphere Hale wanted after spending a long day as police chief.

He needed a place where he could completely relax into another world. He even had a sound system that played the sound of the ocean surf crashing on rocks.

Hale went behind the bar and grabbed two beer bottles from the cooler under the bar and handed one to Jax. They settled in at one of the tables.

"This is my secret room. Only my closest friends have seen it. It's kind of embarrassing."

"I get the room. You need a refuge. It helps you decompress and you can't surf all the time. My motorcycle was my escape."

"There have been some developments on the SAMCRO front. Brooke Putner was reported missing by her father yesterday. Isn't there some kind of SAMCRO connection with her?"

"She helped with Abel and Thomas. She was seeing Rat."

"What's his real name?"

"George Skogstrom. I don't think Rat would have hurt her. She has some mental issues. She's bi-polar and she's disappeared before."

"Her father didn't mention any of this. Not SAMCRO, her being bi-polar or her history as a runaway. I bet she's off her meds. How the hell does he expect me to find her when he doesn't give me a single scrap of information?"

"He may have thought you wouldn't look for her if you knew about any of that stuff."

"Could she have taken the kids? Wendy calls her to help with the kids, she finds Wendy out of it on drugs, so she took the kids. She could have watched after them here and there once she got them. When it got to be too much work, she disappeared so she could devote herself to the boys."

Jax thought about that for several moments.

"That's a real possibility. She would need somewhere to take the boys. Rat may know something."

"I'll bring him down to the station for questioning. Maybe away from SAMCRO, I can get some information out of him."

"If he doesn't know where she is, he may be willing to look for her if he knows that she's not in trouble if she took the kids to help them. Wendy's the one in trouble."

"I didn't mention this to Tara because I don't want to get her hopes up. The pieces fit neatly, but my instinct tells me there's more to it."

"It all comes back to Wendy and what was going on with her. Maybe Nero can shed some light on Wendy's state of mind."

"I didn't want to say this in front of Tara, it would just stoke the fires of her hatred for Wendy, but you need to face some facts about your ex-wife. She doesn't give a damn about either of those boys. They're props and she uses them when she needs them.

"She loves you and she'll do anything to get you back. She thought when you discovered what Tara had planned to make sure Gemma didn't get the boys when she was going through her murder charge ordeal, that would drive you away from Tara permanently and into her arms. She cries, has a drug relapse and is remorseful for her part in Tara's plan. It was all just one big manipulation."

"A junior Gemma."

"She's worse because she doesn't care about the boys. She wants you back. She's willing to play mom for the boys if that's what it takes to get you, but she will never put their needs and welfare ahead of her own like Tara does."

Jax thought back over Wendy's conduct and he realized that Hale had put his finger on a fact that had escaped him. He was absolutely right about Wendy.

"The morning I was going to go off on my killing spree, I had sex with Wendy when I got back from killing Gemma and Unser. When she and Nero left in the car with the boys, I told her I loved her."

Hale laughed.

"If you had only known you were under surveillance. I know that did not go over well with Tara. You're lucky she wasn't so mad at you that she let the truck crush you."

"I explained to Tara that I meant I loved her as the mother my child."

"I bet that didn't go over well with her."

"It didn't. I think I can find Nero's uncle and convince him to get Nero to contact me. He may at least give me a direction to look. He may even still be in contact with her. Maybe he can set up a meeting."

"I've tried calling Wendy, but her phone isn't working. I think her attorney probably took her phone. I have a feeling her attorney may have done that to keep Wendy from saying something stupid."

"I don't know why I'm surprised that Wendy blamed me for taking the boys. When she almost got arrested for using drugs when she was pregnant with Abel, she got real religious real fast. She blamed me for shooting her up with meth and taking the kids because she knows she's looking at child endangerment charges."

"Tomorrow morning, I'm going to have Louise call the attorney and see what she can find out. Her attorney doesn't have a land line for her office. She uses a cell phone. I'm hoping that she uses that to talk to Wendy. The aliens have some tech that will let us trace any call the attorney makes. I'm hoping that after Louise talks to the attorney, she'll call Wendy and we'll get Wendy's location. Just don't let Tara kill Wendy."

"I won't. Tara's just a little crazy with the boys being kidnapped and she's never liked Wendy."

"There's more news on the SAMCRO front. Chibs is going to have to find himself a new girlfriend. Althea Jarry decided that she didn't want to do any jail time, so she was looking to make any kind of deal, she didn't care who she had to give up."

"She didn't really know anything about SAMCRO," Jax said.

"SAMCRO was the least of her problems. The second the news got out she was going to rat out any and everyone, it was only a matter of time. She got killed yesterday. First day out on bail," Hale shook his head. "She goes to a bar, meets a guy and takes him home. She caught it all on hidden cameras from the sex to her murder. Guy was a prospect for a small time outlaw MC called Death Merchants out of O town. They do nickel and dime hits with aspirations to be high end hitmen."

"Who hired them?"

"No one. The Death Merchants paid off Jarry to lose some evidence on a couple of murder charges."

"She get killed in Charming?"

"No," Hale said. "She was living in a house in an unincorporated area of San Joa County. When I told Tara not to kill anyone in Charming, I had an Unser/Clay flashback. My biggest fear is that I'll end up like Unser without any moral compass. My death experience made me realize that I needed to be less rigid, but it's a hard line to walk. It's simpler to have zero tolerance policies and rigidly enforce rules."

"Unser lost his moral compass because of Gemma. He would have done anything for her and he did. Same way with Clay and my father. She brought out the worst in men. I think Nero believed he could help her to be a better person or maybe she had him fooled and he didn't understand just how evil she was."

Hale smiled. "That's funny. My mother told me once that you had it all, looks, charm, intelligence, but if you didn't get away from your mother, she would destroy you."

"I knew she could be overbearing, but I thought that was normal. A mother loving her son. It wasn't. I can't even think about seeing her again. That's going to take me awhile to work out."

Jax still felt numb when it came to Gemma being alive. He needed to keep his focus on Tara and finding his boys. Figuring out what he was going to do about Gemma could wait. Maybe even forever.

"I looked into Nero a little. The two guys he killed were really bad guys. One of them liked to sexually abuse his daughters when they hit the age of two. He's three for three. The baby that was with the mother when Nero killed the guy was only a few months old, so she was spared his sexual abuse. He got minor slaps on the wrist, court ordered counseling and probation. Pedophiles can't be fixed and there is no true justice for the victims. The world is a better place without that guy."

"You have some history with that?" Jax guessed. There was too much anger in Hale's voice for there not to be a personal connection.

"Yeah, I dated a girl in college. Great girl but troubled. Her uncle molested her, her mother refused to believe her brother could do something like that and she picked her brother over her daughter."

"That has a vaguely familiar sound."

"Yeah, I guess it does. She killed herself," Hale's voice grew husky.

"Don't carry guilt around for that," Jax advised.

"I don't. I just wish I could have known what to do, what to say, how to help her. I suggested counseling. She was in a dark place emotionally. I thought she was getting better when she had really just decided to kill herself.

"The other guy that Nero killed liked to carve up hookers, put his initials into their breasts. He used a screwdriver to try to puncture one hooker's breast implant while it was in her. He's been the last known person to see a couple of girls who went missing, but there's never been enough to arrest him. The bodies were never found."

"Too bad the justice system doesn't weigh the value of the people you kill. You pay the same price whether you kill a saint, scumbag or a serial killer."

"That's kind of why I want to help Nero. I had Louise prepare a package. It's a new identity. Driver's License, social security card, a couple of ATM cards with enough money for him to live on a year or so. There's also a car registered in his new name, title and insurance card are in the glove compartment. His new ID is good, but it isn't bulletproof like a Paralorn ID. It will hold up to a fair amount of scrutiny as long as he doesn't get himself into too much trouble. Louise has the location for the car. There's also a cabin rented in his new name with utilities already turned on in New Mexico. It's a good place for him to blend in. All I ask is you give it to him in person, so I'll know it went to him and his uncle didn't keep the money. In the end though, it's up to you to give it to him or not."

Jax stared at Hale with shock. He couldn't believe his ears that Hale was helping a fugitive flee from prosecution with a very thoughtful and expensive new start in life.

"You have changed," Jax said.

"I just don't think Nero should lose his freedom for killing those two guys. In some weird way, it feels like I'm balancing out the scales of justice for my girlfriend killing herself. At least that guy won't be around to molest anymore of his own kids and his friend won't be scarring and probably killing hookers."

"Thank you for doing this for Nero."

"I saw some of the surveillance on that last day. I heard what you told Nero about how you wanted him to tell your kids the absolute truth about you—that you were a criminal and a killer. That was the moment when I realized that you were finally thinking right. It's also why I'm willing to stick my neck out to help if you have any ID problems."

"Thanks for Nero. Thanks too for me. Tara said you just volunteered to do it."

"You deserve a chance to make something of your life. You helped save my ass a few times when I was a kid; I'm just returning the favor. This is it though. You've got one chance. I'm not going to go down the road of always looking the other way like Unser."

"I think you'll be OK. Just don't hook up with Gemma," Jax said.

They both laughed like it was the funniest joke they had ever heard. Hale went to the bar, grabbed two more beer bottles and brought them over to the table.

"Tell me, did you and Tara ever get together in high school?" Jax asked.

 _"Really?"_ Hale looked at Jax with amusement. "Ask Tara."

(What happens between Hale and Tara is revealed in Tara's Story)

"Tara and Ryland hooked up when she returned to life," Jax said.

"Yeah, I know," Hale said.

He sounded about as happy about it as Jax had when he found out.

"Ryland, the guy you want to hate, but can't because he is just that good."

"Exactly," Jax said nodding his head in agreement. Jax felt like he'd gone back in time when he and Hale were friends. It also made him miss Opie.

"He's just so damned perfect."

"He's got to have some dark secret," Jax added.

"I don't think he's a serious threat to your relationship with Tara. She cares about him, but she isn't in love with him."

"I've always thought that you had a crush on Tara," Jax said.

"When Tara came back to life, she was in rough shape for awhile," Hale said neatly sidestepping the subject. "Part of that was the violent way she died at Gemma's hands. On top of that, the Paralorns were worried about the boys since Thomas is in line to be King, so they were running all kinds of surveillance. She saw some of what you did to the Chinese guy Gemma put her murder on."

"I keep wrestling with that. Did Juice and Gemma come up with the Chinese lie because they weren't smart enough to figure out they didn't need to say anything or did they do it because they wanted to watch me burn?"

"Why would Gemma want to hurt you like that?"

"It's what she does. She hurts me and makes me more dependent on her. I can't take care of my kids if I'm focused on getting retribution for Tara's killing."

"You know her better. I thought she was desperate to point the blame somewhere, so she had to solve Tara's murder or you might look into it yourself."

"That's a more favorable explanation for Gemma and Juice or JC as he now calls himself."

"I don't think Gemma's smart. I think she is cunning. If she'd been smart, she would have been surprised that Tara and Roosevelt were killed. Cunning is coming up with the lie to point you in a direction away from her."

"I don't know what it would have taken for me to see myself and my life for what it was if Tara hadn't been killed. Even then, it took a little while. Now, it's so clear, I don't understand why I didn't see it all before."

"Gemma. A lot of the blame is yours, but you were born into it. It's hard to think beyond the way you were raised."

"In the end, my father realized his mistakes and was going to leave the outlaw lifestyle. SAMCRO ordered his death."

"History repeats itself. There's a green light on you. Is it possible SAMCRO kidnapped the boys?"

"I hope they wouldn't do something like that, but if they felt I betrayed their trust by not killing myself. I don't know. They might be desperate enough to take the boys. I could call them and see how that goes."

Hale thought about that for several moments.

"Let's give Skeeter a day or two to take the temperature of SAMCRO. See what they are currently thinking about you before we make a move in their direction."

Jax nodded agreement.

"You're the one in charge," Jax said.

"Funny that we've kind of come full circle as friends."

"Even when you were at your most uptight, you were never petty. You could have made SAMCRO's life hell by pulling us over for little petty violations. I remember when I was fighting AJ Weston when you showed up and arrested him. You saved his life for a few hours anyway. I think that was the moment I hated you the most."

"I was trying to save you too," Hale said, finishing his bottle of beer. "It was only a matter of time before you caught a murder charge. I didn't want it to be in Charming."

"I know that I deserve all of Tara's harsh words for the way I handled everything after she died . . ."

"It didn't start then," Hale interrupted. "When she returned to life, she was also traumatized by the way you left her twisting in the wind over that murder charge. If my father hadn't died last year, he would never have let them charge Tara with murder. It was all a political stunt trying to get to the MC."

That was another mystery Jax wondered about. Tara was very close to Hale's family. It was part of the reason he was so suspicious that there was something between Hale and Tara back in high school.

"I failed her when she needed me the most because I put SAMCRO ahead of everyone else," Jax said.

"Do you think you two will end up back together?"

"I don't know. Sometimes, I know we'll work out and other times . . . " Jax shook his head and took a long pull on his beer bottle. "Ryland told me that I should want the best for Tara and he was better for her."

"He's probably right there, but she's not in love with him. I think she could be happy with him. I think she could find happiness with you or maybe even someone else."

Jax had a feeling that someone else was Hale. He couldn't blame him for wanting to be with Tara.

"I'm going to get some sleep. I need to be up early and it's going to be a long day. Just ask Taz to direct you to your room. I wasn't sure about you and Tara, so I gave you separate rooms."

"Thanks for everything."

The next morning, Jax, Tara and Louise were sitting at the kitchen table when Hale walked in from outside.

"Aren't you supposed to be going to work? You're going the wrong way," Tara said with a smile.

"I got called out last night. Someone torched Scoops."

 **Next Up**

Tara's hormone levels skyrocket and she tries to resist Jax. All she can think about is sex and all he can think about is sex with her. It's an alien hybrid side effect. Instead of cramps, bloating and the desire to kill all men (that last one may just be me), hybrids get intense sexual desire at ovulation.

Upcoming: Nero reveals stunning news about Wendy. Jax and Tara begin a desperate hunt for Wendy fearing that she many have sold the boys to pay a meth debt.


	24. Chapter 24

13

 **JAX IS REALLY ALIVE!**

 **Chapter 23 Recap**

Hale tells Jax that Brooke Putner is missing. She has taken care of Abel and Thomas in the past. They speculate that she may have taken the boys when she saw that Wendy was neglecting them. Hale plans to bring Rat in for questioning hoping that he might have useful information.

Althea Jarry was killed by a prospect for a small town outlaw MC because she was going to rat on them and everyone else.

After Hale looked into the pasts of the two guys Nero is accused of killing, he decides the world is better off without them. He had Louise put together a new identity for Nero and it's up to Jax whether to give it to him or not.

Hale tells Jax that Wendy doesn't care about the boys. She was willing to play mom because she wanted Jax back. Jax realizes that Hale is right.

Jax and Hale share the same opinion of Ryland. Jax asks Hale about his relationship with Tara in high school. Hale refuses to answer the question. You have to read **Tara's Story** for the answer.

Hale gets called out in the middle of he night. Someone set fire to Scoops.

 **Chapter 24 The Sharon Stone Treatment**

 **Author's Note:** _When I reference a SOA episode, I'm referring to the episode on DVD or as originally broadcast. I noticed AUD is showing the series, but the episodes have scenes that have been cut out completely or drastically shortened. The scene I refer to in this chapter doesn't appear in the edited version._

Jax loaded two suitcases into the cargo area of the black SUV Louise had given him to drive. He noticed a blue blanket covering something. He lifted it up discovering a baby's car seat with a diaper bag wedged in the seat and an older child's booster seat. Louise was scary efficient. He spread the blanket back over the seats.

The sight of those two empty car seats hit him like a punch to the gut. Until that moment, he had been emotionally numb. Now, he felt like the breath was knocked out of him. He couldn't imagine his life without his boys.

Compounding his grief was his guilt for being a neglectful father who spent more time with his fake brothers than his real sons. So many mistakes. So damned many mistakes. So much to make up for.

He had to bury his past and all the guilt associated with it. He couldn't do anything about the past now or ever. He needed to keep his focus. He had to believe that the boys weren't being harmed and they would get them back quickly. It was the only way to stay sane and Tara needed him to be strong.

When Abel was taken by Cameron, he'd fallen apart. He spent too many hours sitting by Abel's crib smoking weed, trying to numb the pain, completely useless to Abel and Tara. Clay had been the one who had gotten through to him.

He remembered again that horrible night standing over Half-Sack's coffin when Clay told him to make the hard choice—either Abel was alive and he would do anything to get him back or he was dead and he wanted revenge. It was just that simple. (SOA Season 3, episode 1)

He looked back on that time with shame. He should have been stronger. He hated weakness in others, but most of all, he hated weakness in himself.

Jax watched as Tara hugged Hale and kissed him on the cheek. She got in the SUV and they began the long drive to Norco.

"Sorry my temper got the best of me last night," Tara said after they had driven about twenty miles in an uncomfortable silence. "It doesn't do any good for me to constantly blame you for this situation. It feels good for a few seconds, but I need to just stay focused on getting the kids back and not how they came to be kidnapped."

"Does that mean you're having second thoughts about killing me?"

"I don't know that I'd go that far," Tara said, a faint smile playing at her lips.

"Good to know. I'll watch my back."

"You are changing though. Last night, Aranora was really checking you out. I think there might have been a puddle of drool in front of her. You didn't even notice. Old Jax would have noticed."

"I only have eyes for you, darlin'."

"You're just saying that so I won't kill you again."

Jax laughed.

The tension between them was gone. It was these light moments between them that made him believe he and Tara had a future. They had fun simply being together. He had never found that with another woman.

Before Tara returned to Charming, he spent time with women simply to have sex. He let them spend the night with him because he might want to have sex with them in the morning. Once the sex was over, he wanted them gone. It never even occurred to him to date one of them.

"There may be some good news. Hale and I had a long talk last night. He mentioned that Brooke was missing. She's taken care of the boys a lot."

"You think she might have taken them?"

"It's a strong possibility. Rat's her boyfriend. Hale's going to bring Rat in for questioning this morning, see if he knows anything."

"Why would she take the boys?"

"She may have thought Wendy wasn't doing a good job with them. She wouldn't hurt them, but she may be scared that she's going to get in trouble for taking them."

"I know that outlaw bikers aren't supposed to help law enforcement. Do you think Rat will help Hale?"

"I think he will. It's about helping Brooke and finding the boys. Hale's smart; he'll know to make sure that Rat knows the conversation is off the record and just between the two of them."

"I hope she has them and Rat helps Hale. This nightmare could be over."

Jax didn't say anything. He thought it was better to sort of live in this bubble believing that Brooke had the kids and they would soon be reunited, but deep down, he shared Hale's doubts. Maybe he was just being too pessimistic.

He wasn't about to tell Tara that he had doubts. He hoped he was wrong. Until he learned differently, he was going to pretend, or believe, he wasn't sure which, that Brooke had the kids.

"What do you think about Scoops getting torched?"

Jax shrugged.

"I thought when we needed a new clubhouse after Galen blew up the clubhouse at TM that if the MC had its clubhouse in the middle of Charming's business district, we could show them we weren't a bunch of violent criminals."

Tara burst into laughter.

"OK," Jax said. "Logic flaw."

"Who do you think is targeting SAMCRO?"

"Someone who didn't want the MC at that location anymore. Probably teenage tomfoolery."

"Tomfoolery, huh?"

"Teenage tomfoolery," Jax corrected. (This is a reference to 52 Shades of Jax, Chapter 7)

When they stopped at the traffic signal, Tara unbuckled her seatbelt leaned over and kissed Jax on his neck in the place that drove him wild. The light turned green and Tara straightened in her seat and buckled her seatbelt.

"What the hell was that?" Jax asked when he could catch his breath.

"You didn't like it?" she asked sweetly.

"You know how much I liked it."

"Don't you feel it? This sexual pull."

"I always feel that way with you."

"It should feel stronger. It's a hybrid thing. You know Darwin and all that about survival of the fittest? Instead of a woman getting cramps, bloating and the desire to kill men, we get about a day of insane sexual desire when we are at our most fertile. We don't have periods. Hybrid women's bodies only prepare for a baby when the egg's been fertilized."

"So I'm not going to need to make an emergency stop for chocolate?"

Jax teased Tara during high school when she had her period. Whenever she seemed like she was having PMS, he would bring her chocolate. He'd kept an emergency supply in his school locker.

Tara waited for the next red light before leaning over and biting Jax lightly on the ear lobe.

"Asshole," she whispered in his ear.

"I'm kind of getting the sexual thing now," he said, flashing that Jax Teller—now Turner grin.

"It's pheromones. Like animals. When the female is fertile, the males know it. It works the same way with hybrids."

"Does that mean I'm going to have to fight men off for you?"

"It's not as strong with humans. Hybrid females have ovulation prevention implants to help tame some of the sexual frenzy, but still, that sexual craziness one day a month is a tough day."

Jax noticed that if he tilted his head a little to the side, he could get a glimpse of Tara's cleavage. It was just a faint hint. If she leaned forward a little, maybe he could get a better view of her breasts. If she kissed him again, he needed to remember to look down the front of her V-necked top. Maybe there was something to all that pheromone shit. He did seem even more sex crazed than usual, but he'd been without sex for a few days. He wasn't used to going so long without sex.

Tara squirmed in her seat like she just couldn't get comfortable.

"I'm going crazy. I really, really, _really_ need to have sex with you _now_."

Jax was so startled he swerved the car into the next lane quickly returning the SUV back to its lane before hitting a minivan.

"We could park somewhere. Check into a motel," he suggested.

"Let's look for a place to get off the freeway and find a fairly deserted back road. We aren't going to talk to Nero's uncle until this evening, so it's not like we're having sex instead of looking for the boys."

Jax felt drunk on the sex he was anticipating. Tara told him hybrid sex was better than human sex and Tara was sex crazed. A perfect combo. He was really starting to feel that pheromone fueled increase in his sexual attraction to Tara.

His body seemed to throb and he kept hearing his brain chanting "sex, sex, sex." If Tara were experiencing an even greater ramping up of desire, she must be close to insane with sexual need.

"Donna told me that she and Opie had sex ten times in one day when they were trying for a baby after her implant was removed."

"Opie's always been kind of an underachiever. I'm surprised I haven't heard from Opie. Does he know the kids are missing?"

Tara looked down at her hands before drawing a deep breath.

"Yes. Donna told him. Opie goes through these really dark periods. He's in one of them now. He told Donna he needed to clear his head. He got on his motorcycle and took off. He's called her a couple of times but all he tells her is that he is OK. Once we get the boys, we need to figure out what we can do to help them."

"I thought that since he and Donna were back together, those dark times that he gets stuck in sometimes would have gone away."

"Opie really hates SAMCRO. That's why he and Donna aren't living in Charming. He can't stand the sight of them. He blames Tig for killing Donna and for his own death. He thinks Tig was stupid and reckless when he decided to use a car to kill Laroy at a sidewalk café.

"Instead, he killed another innocent woman with a not so innocent father. You guys got locked up because you had to save Tig's ass from Laroy and some people got killed. He wants to kill Tig. I don't think he's wrong," Tara said.

"I have struggled with it myself," Jax confessed. "There is no excusing Tig for killing Veronica Pope. You are right. His plan was reckless and stupid, but the whole MC thing is about unconditional love for your brother. Do you think Op might show up in Charming to kill Tig?"

"That's what Donna is worried about. Hale's going to keep an eye out for him."

"Just more fun times in Charming. Are you hungry? Maybe we should look for a fast food place."

"Hmmm . . . How about this? Sex, food and sex again. I don't want to eat in the car though."

Jax would have been OK with just about anything Tara suggested just as long as there was sex. Except that one weird time. It still gave him nightmares. (52 Shades of Jax upcoming chapter 8)

"How about here? There are a couple of fast food places and I think I can find a private place for us."

Tara didn't respond. She pulled off her black booties and began to wriggle out of her black leggings and panties. Jax grinned. Tara was definitely serious about sex.

Jax's brain kept up its chanting of "sex". If something happened and he didn't get to have sex with Tara soon, his dick might explode out of frustration. He was a Sliven hybrid. Maybe that kind of stuff happened to them. Instead of blue balls, there were exploding dicks.

Jax took the freeway off ramp and began to search for just the right place. He found an abandoned strip mall and parked in the middle of the empty parking lot. From the SUV's position, they could see if anyone came within five miles of them.

Jax pulled up the driver's seat as far as it would go before they got out of the car and into the backseat.

"My pants—on or unzipped?"

"Unzipped," Tara said. "I don't want to wait for you to take them off."

"Some of the hottest words I've ever heard," Jax said as he sat down on the back seat and unzipped his jeans.

Tara was on his lap and he was inside her in a flash. Jax ran his hands up Tara's legs. She had the soft, smoothest skin. He knew exactly where she liked to be touched. Her skin flushed, she shut her eyes and threw her head back.

It took them a few moments to find their rhythm. She was so warm and tight. The fact they were both almost completely dressed just added a different flavor.

Just as Tara hit her climax, Jax's began. The experience was even better than Tara told him it would be. Hybrid sex was as different from regular sex as Disneyland was to a grade school carnival. Sex with the alien upgrade was off the charts great. When his climax came, his body felt like it was exploding with big waves of pleasure.

"Is it always that great?"

"This is my first time with a hybrid. Donna said that it gets even better especially as your feelings build with the empathy bond."

Tara was already back in the front seat. Jax found himself oddly disappointed. He wanted to pull her to him, kiss her and hold her in his arms for a couple of minutes.

He got back into the driver's seat.

"You used me for sex," Jax said.

"Uh-huh."

"I should feel dirty and used, but I'm surprisingly OK with it."

Tara laughed.

"Do you want me to wait for you to put on your clothes?"

"I'm not putting on my clothes."

"You are a naughty girl. I can't believe you are really going to walk into a fast food restaurant without underwear and in such a short top."

"I'll just have to remember not to raise my arms up over my head."

"I think your inner Bad Girl may be making a return." Jax said.

"It's the hormones."

"What would you have done if I hadn't been around?"

"I have options. I could take matters into my own hands, get friendly with a broomstick or flashlight or I could always have sex with Ryland or Hale. Maybe have a little alien threesome."

Jax turned in his seat, grabbed Tara by the shoulders and kissed her roughly.

"I can more than take care of your sexual needs. Got it?" he growled.

"Mmm . . . hmm," Tara said a little dazed by his kiss.

Jax smiled and kissed her forehead before buckling up and getting the SUV moving.

His feelings for Tara were changing. He was in love with her and had been since he was sixteen. Now, he felt that love growing and deepening. He was also feeling more possessive and protective.

"I love this alien sex craziness," Jax said, looking over at Tara. "It's like double drunk Tara without all the throwing up."

"You also get a little of the craziness with the pheromone thing."

Jax stopped the car and waited for Tara to put on her booties before leaving the car.

"I can't believe you really aren't wearing panties."

"I want to save time for our next time. Is anything running down my legs?"

Tara's beet red top came half-way up her thighs.

"Like what?"

"Semen," she whispered.

"I just wanted you to say the word," Jax said laughing. "No, you look fine."

They ordered burgers, fries and iced teas. Jax found them a place to eat near the back of the fast food place that was away from the other diners.

As they ate, they both became aware of a change in the atmosphere of the restaurant. People were whispering and staring at them.

"Everyone is looking at us. Terrified. They act like I'm going to start killing people."

"Jax Teller is supposed to be armed and dangerous," Tara said.

Servers began to quietly talk to guests, followed by the guests getting up and leaving.

"I've also noticed what looks like a couple of unmarked police cars pull up. I'm concerned that these guys have some much adrenaline flowing through their bodies, they'll overreact and shoot us."

"This kind of reminds me of the time we got pulled over by the CHP on our Christmas trip (Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas)."

"This is much more dangerous. I'm sure every officer out there is thinking about the story they are going to tell TV about helping catching the spree killer Jax Teller."

"They are going to be disappointed. I was stupid for not wanting to eat in the car. I should have known this was going to happen."

"We have to be able to go out in public. We might as well get used to the attention that comes with me looking like Jax Teller."

"If it looks like they are taking you to jail, I'll stop time. You can't get locked up. Even with the alien upgrade, you won't get out alive."

"I think Hale's going to have vouch for me. Expect them to treat you like you know I'm Jax Teller and are helping him. They will question you and may even handcuff you to amp up the scare factor so you'll talk."

"Oh, hell," Tara said, shaking her head. "How could I have thought not wearing underwear was a good thing to do?"

"It's sexy and it is a timesaver for future sexual encounters. Just cross your legs and give them the Sharon Stone treatment."

(For those who don't know the movie, Basic Instinct, there is a famous scene when actress Sharon Stone is questioned in a murder case. She crosses her legs revealing to an assembled group of men that she isn't wearing panties.)

 **Author's Note: Jax and Tara do not get this wonderful romantic sex scene. They will eventually when the plot is right. I don't write scenes to please readers. (although I did bring Juice back from the dead at a reader's request, but that was because it worked well with the plot) I write scenes to move the plot. Tara uses Jax for sex for the first time ever. His reaction to it shows him growing and evolving into a deeper more loving version of himself. That's why I wrote the scene the way I did.**

 **Next Up: I plan to do another chapter of Jax Is Really Alive and post it the next week as well as a chapter of 52 Shades of Jax.**

 **Tara's Story: I hope to post a chapter in two weeks maybe sooner.**


	25. Chapter 25

8

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 24 Recap**

Jax and Tara travel to Norco to find Nero and Wendy as part of their quest to find the boys. Tara is sex crazed thanks to her alien biology. She and Jax finally have sex, but he finds he misses the emotional component.

Tara reveals that Opie hates SAMCRO and wants to kill Tig because he blames him not only for killing Donna but also for his own death. It was Tig's recklessly stupid attempt to kill Laroy when he thought he was behind the attack on Clay that resulted in the killing that got Jax locked up. Opie assaulted Roosevelt to get locked up so he could watch over Jax. He sacrificed his life for Jax and his brothers including the one that killed his wife, Tig.

Opie is in a dark place. He takes off on his motorcycle. He checks in with Donna, but he doesn't tell her his location. Donna fears he's on his way to Charming to kill Tig.

While having a fast food lunch, Jax and Tara become aware that they are attracting the wrong kind of attention.

 **Chapter 25 Cuffed**

The idealistic kid who joined SAMCRO when he was eighteen believed he was a knight on a motorcycle who righted wrongs and protected the innocent. At the end of his life, he faced the bitter reality. He was a criminal, a killer and a bad man—exactly the man his mother raised him to be. In the final moments of her life, she was proud of that. She'd raised a man capable of killing his mother.

He planned to kill himself so he had given no thought to what people might think of him or what it would be like for Abel and Thomas to grow up as the children of the infamous spree killer Jax Teller.

Today, he got to see his legacy. People stared at him as though he were a rabid dog. Back in the MC, it was useful to be feared. Now, people thought he was a psychopath who murdered in cold blood. He didn't murder in cold blood; it just looked that way. Oh, and he wasn't a psychopath. He had good reasons behind every person he killed. Of course, he couldn't explain that to the public.

It didn't matter anyway. All anyone would see was the body count. He left a bloody legacy. There was no way around that. Being alive meant facing up to what the public thought of Jax Teller in all his gory glory.

So much of his identity had been wrapped up in SAMCRO. Who the hell was he without the MC? He was Jax Turner and he better sell the cops on his new identity.

"Just keep your hands open and away from your body," Jax advised.

"I can't believe the first time in my life I don't wear underwear and this happens," Tara moaned. "Why the hell did I ever think that was a good idea?"

"Your motive was good. You wanted to save time the next time we have sex," Jax reminded her.

"I know that. I was just whining. I may never have sex again once I get past this hormone surge thing today."

"I love the hormone thing. It's a male fantasy come true."

"Yeah, thanks for the encouragement."

The restaurant had emptied out and there were police officers near the doors. Six officers entered the restaurant, weapons drawn.

"Jax Teller, you are under arrest for the murders . . ." a police sergeant began.

"I'm not Jax Teller."

"I told you that you looked just like him, but you wouldn't believe me," Tara said.

"I don't look like him."

"You do to."

"Both of you stand up and keep your hands where I can see them."

"Are you the only one that needs to see our hands? What about your buddies? Do they need to see our hands too?" Tara asked sarcastically.

"You are going to get us arrested," Jax cautioned her.

"For what? _I_ haven't done anything wrong. The only thing you've done wrong is look like Jax Teller."

"I don't look like Jax Teller."

"Then why the hell do you think the cops are here trying to arrest you?"

"You do have a point."

"Damn right I do."

"Enough! Stand up and keep your hands . . ."

"Where you can see them," Tara said finishing the sentence with some extra sarcasm.

"Do both of you have ID?" the sergeant asked after shooting Tara with an annoyed look.

"Yes," they chorused in unison.

The sergeant looked Tara up and down. She blushed and tugged nervously at her mini-dress/tunic top.

"You have any pockets in that thing?"

"No."

"Any weapons in your bag?"

"No."

"Reach into your bag slowly and get out your ID and hand it to the officer on your right."

Tara did as she was instructed and handed her driver's license over to the police officer.

"Now, Teller . . ."

"I'm not Teller," Jax interrupted.

"He was trying to trick you. It wasn't much of a trick though," Tara said.

"My name is Jax Turner."

"Where's your ID?"

"My wallet in my back pocket."

"Get it out of your back pocket using two fingers. Hand your ID to the officer."

As soon as Jax handed over his ID, the officer took both IDs and trotted outside to run the information on his patrol car's computer.

"Turner, put your hands on the table. We are going to search you and cuff you. It's for officer protection."

"Don't put them on too tight," Tara advised. "He bruises easily. That's why the handcuffs we use at home are lined with hot pink fur."

One of the officers sniggered, but kept his gun trained on Jax. The sergeant searched Jax and then cuffed him. The officers holstered their weapons.

Jax and Tara were separated and questioned about where they were going and how they knew each other. Every once in awhile, Jax would catch Tara's eye, look at the hem of her dress and smirk.

When the officers walked into the restaurant, they were excited. They were going to capture the notorious spree killer Jax Teller. They were picturing the interviews they were going to give on TV and the story they were going to tell their friends.

There was an excited crowd gathering around the fast food restaurant who vied with each other for a glimpse of the spree killer through the restaurant's windows.

The officer who had taken Jax and Tara's IDs returned with a small fingerprint scanning device about an inch wide and two inches long. Jax pressed each finger against the small screen. The officer left for his patrol unit.

The mood went from festive to glum pretty quickly when Jax's ID checked out. Patrol cars began to leave until there was just one unit. The officers weren't happy that they hadn't captured Jax Teller, but there was nothing they could do. The prints didn't match. They even ran his thumbprint that California takes as part of getting a driver's license and that came back to Jax Turner.  
Law enforcement had no choice but to accept the fact that Jax Teller and Jax Turner were two different people. Their IDs were returned. The sergeant actually apologized for the mistaken identity.

Jax graciously accepted the apology, but told him that now he was going to have to listen to his girlfriend gloat about how she was right and he was wrong. The officer laughed. Some problems are universal.

Most of the crowd disbursed, the restaurant reopened and Jax and Tara were on their way again. The mistaken ID situation surprisingly had only taken an hour to sort out.

"Where did you come up with that whole bit about telling me I look like Jax Teller?"

"It just popped into my head. I was having trouble figuring out how I was going to react and then it just came to me."

"You were great."

"And you did a great job following my lead."

"That went better than I thought. Faster. I think you might have remained covered for most of the time," Jax said.

"Most of the time? What do you mean?"

"There were a couple of times I thought I saw sperm running down your leg and once I think I saw your bare butt."

"Liar," Tara said slapping his arm. "I hate you."

"You don't. You really don't."

Jax pulled her close and kissed her.

"I think we might want to get further down the road before we have sex again," Jax said. "If we drive another hour we'll be in Norco. We could get a motel for the night. Stay in the room for a couple of hours and then go to see Nero's uncle."

"I can probably make it another hour," Tara said with a sigh. "There's medication we take to keep this sex craziness from happening. I forgot mine back at Meg's bunker. I was going to get some from Louise and then I forgot."

"No complaints here."

"I didn't think the sex craziness would be this bad since I also have an implant that helps my hormone level. I feel like a heroin addict who desperately needs a fix."

"Sex crazy Tara is amazing," Jax said grinning. "I'm going to miss her."

"Don't worry. I haven't hit my hormone peak yet. Hmmm . . . I wonder if I should put my underwear and leggings back on."

"It's hardly worth it. We'll be at the motel soon."

"I'll leave them off if you quit trying to look up my dress."

Jax laughed.

Tara used her smart phone to find a motel. She picked one that had gotten high marks for cleanliness. She didn't want a bed and breakfast. The anonymity of a large motel was better for them. She registered and paid for the room instead of Jax because they'd had enough identity drama for the day.

As soon as they got into their motel room, Tara put out the "do not disturb" sign and bolted the door.

"I really need sex," Tara said as she unbuckled Jax's belt.

"What do you think I am some kind of sex machine?" he demanded.

"Yes."

"OK then," Jax said grinning. "Let's go. You have a preference?"

"Me against the wall."

"Don't you want to fool around a little before?"

"I don't really need it. I just need you _now_."

Jax couldn't argue with her. He pushed her against the wall. She wrapped her leg around his waist. He grabbed her raised leg using it for leverage as he thrust into her.

"Ummm . . . so . . . good," Tara said with half-closed eyes almost purring as Jax gave her exactly what she needed.

Jax enjoyed the experience. It was sex with Tara, so, of course, he enjoyed it. His climax was explosive and better than the first time. There was a certain emptiness to it because he didn't feel as emotionally connected to Tara as he wanted. He missed the kissing and the touching.

When they finished, Jax lifted Tara off her feet and dumped her on the immaculately clean white comforter on the king-sized bed.

He kissed her softly and gently until she pushed him away.

"What's wrong? Are you worrying about the boys?"

"I am worrying about the boys, but I need to tell you some things. I can't move forward until I tell you. There's stuff about Kohn you need to understand."

Jax's eyes widened in surprise. This was a turn he never expected.

 _ **Author's Note:**_ _I originally planned this chapter with more events, but the chapter began to run too long. Since no one ever bothers to review (except for a few really amazing readers), I did what the hell I wanted. When I do get comments about writing longer chapters, I make an effort to give readers a longer chapter._

 _Writing a chapter that is too long makes me crazy. I don't know why but it does._

 _I will post another chapter next week that will be at least twice the size of this one unless I decided to do another break. It's a pivotal chapter for Jax and Tara._


	26. Chapter 26

16

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 25 Recap**

Law enforcement swarms the fast food restaurant and all the officers are excited to catch the spree killer Jax Teller. Jax tells the officer he isn't Jax Teller. The aliens have done a perfect job and Jax's new identity withstands tough examination.

Tara continues to suffer from hormone sex craziness. When Jax offers more romantic sex, she turns him down. She just needs sex. He finds the experience unfulfilling. He tries to get closer to Tara by kissing her, but she stops him. She needs to tell him something about Kohn. 

**Chapter 26 Hit Me Baby One More Time**

 _Author's Note: This story is written strictly from Jax's POV (except the Juice chapter). I did that deliberately when I started the story because I want readers to experience what Jax's going through exclusively. You are on the roller coaster with him._

 _You will never know what Tara's thinking. You have to look at what she says and what she does and figure it just like Jax's trying to do. I wanted to explain to readers why I'm not writing Tara's thoughts. I think only knowing what Jax is thinking creates more tension in the story because you don't know what Tara is thinking._

Tara sat up, pulled her dress down to cover herself, and brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"There's some stuff about Kohn that you need to know. I talked to Ry last night for a couple of hours. He really made things clear to me. He thinks that we should get back together. I'm still not sure if . . ."

"You and Ryland are getting back together?" Jax asked, raising his voice in disbelief.

This conversation made no sense to him. He and Tara had just had sex and now she was telling him that she and Ryland were getting back together. Could Ryland be _that_ much better at sex? _Was that even possible?_

Tara shook her head.

"No, Ry and I aren't getting back together. He thinks we—you and me—should get back together."

Jax was even more surprised. Ryland had told him that Tara was the first woman he'd been in love with since his wife died a couple of decades ago. It didn't make sense that he would suddenly give up his pursuit of Tara. Maybe this was some kind of alien trick.

"He's right."

"He told me that if our relationship meaning us," Tara said, pointing at Jax and her, "is ever going to work then we need to change how we talk to each other. He told me I needed to picture the perfect relationship and then see if you fit into that picture. He told me that I need to tell you what I need from our relationship and to do that I have to tell you about some stuff from my past."

"I'm listening," Jax said.

He looked at Tara's legs and his attention began to wander.

"I can't believe you! I'm trying to have a serious adult conversation with you and you are checking out my legs and trying to look up my dress. You just saw it all a few minutes ago. It hasn't changed," Tara said clearly annoyed.

"I wasn't trying to look up your dress. I was thinking about _trying_ to look up your dress. In the car, I wasn't trying to look up your dress then either. I was thinking about putting my hand up your dress."

"Is it too much to ask that when I'm talking about the future of our relationship you pay attention to what I'm saying?"

"Of course not, but it's hard for me to focus when I see your legs and know you don't have panties on. You know I've always been intensely sexually attracted to you and I'm still in the after glow from just having sex. That's a good thing."

"Damn you. You always find a way to sweet talk your way out of trouble."

She grabbed the pillow next to Jax and put it in her lap to cover her legs, leaving just her ankles and feet visible.

"Better?" she asked.

"You have my attention now. You were about to tell me about Kohn. See, I _was_ listening."

Tara rolled her eyes.

"When I met him, I thought he was kind of a legal version of you. It started out as more emotional abuse. I blamed myself. If only I were a better girlfriend, everything would be fine. When it got physical, I didn't end it after the first time. It isn't always clear cut. When does a shove go from playful to abuse?

"I'm ashamed that I didn't end it immediately," Tara said, looking down at the white comforter. "Kohn wasn't the first abusive guy I was with. It's a pattern. My father was a very mellow, laid back person. I pick guys that are the opposite of that. I was trying to pick guys like you only they weren't like you."

"I had no idea that you had such a terrible love life. If you give me their names, I'll kill them for you."

Tara looked at him and laughed.

"My hero," she said with her hand over her heart. "When I called you the night I shot Kohn, I think I knew that you would kill him. He tried to kill me before I left Chicago (this is in Tara's Story).

"If I had filed charges, he would have used ATF power to get out of it. If he had done time, it wouldn't have been long. He would come after me again. I was scared when you killed him because it seemed like you lost your temper and shot him. It's the temper thing that scares me.

"Loen called me after your meeting with her. She told me that you knew everything (SOA season 6) about my plan. I was scared. I thought that you were going to kill me. I felt a little like I deserved it for all the things I'd done and how I manipulated you by telling you I was pregnant and Gemma caused me to lose the baby.

"The only way I could calm down a little was by holding and rocking Thomas. Now, I think I was using him as protection. You wouldn't shoot me while I was holding our son. I also had a handgun under my leg in the rocking chair."

Jax hated hearing Tara's words. It was like opening an old wound. He thought they had moved past that. It crushed him to picture Tara with a gun believing he was coming to kill her.

"When you came home the next morning," Tara said continuing, "you told me that you were leaving because if you stayed someone might get hurt. I had flashbacks to Kohn. All of the physical and emotional abuse from every relationship I've ever been in hit me.

"It isn't me just being afraid of you or even Kohn; it's all the stuff I've been through. The fear I've felt in all my relationships replays inside my head, multiplying my fear, and that becomes my fear of you. I know it isn't fair to you. I know it's irrational, but I am working on it. It's getting better."

Jax remembered Ryland telling him that Tara was more fragile than she seemed. He was stunned to hear about everything she had been through.

"Tara, I will never hurt you. The day in the park," Jax's voice grew husky with emotion, "when I learned that you thought I was going to kill you, it hurt me to the core of my soul. I still carry that pain with me."

"This isn't about that. It's about me having a voice. You _terrorized_ me with the escorts. I never knew if you were going to call one of them and order my death. It felt just like Kohn.

"You treated me with such coldness; that scared me even more than if you had lost your temper and went off on me. I didn't know you anymore. You were a stranger."

"A monster?"

"Yeah. My fear made me weak, so I didn't stand up to you. I saw you kill Clay. I felt like it was a warning to me. I saw some of the horrible things you did after my death. I haven't been able to get rid of all the fear."

"You're still afraid of me?" Jax asked softly.

She nodded.

"Yeah. It's when you lose your temper that really freaks me out because you lose self-control. There's more. When I got arrested, I was humiliated. I didn't want you to see me like that. You showed up on your motorcycle to pick me up. I felt like I was on display for the whole damned world to see. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. If I didn't have the boys to live for I think I would have just killed myself.

"I was going to kill myself that day you came over to my house for the first time when we were in high school. I'd figured out a really good way to do it. If you had been five minutes later, I'd have been dead." (Tara's Story)

"I had no idea," Jax said. He thought back to that time. There was nothing in the way she'd acted that hinted to him that she was on the edge emotionally.

"You saved my life and you never even knew it."

"I just had a feeling that I needed to be with you."

"I felt like you were my destiny. I started to fall a little bit in love with you that day," Tara said, pausing to gather her thoughts. "That first day out of jail was when I began to distance myself from you emotionally. I thought you should have known how I felt about the motorcycle. We had that bond in high school. I thought we still had it, but we've spent longer apart than we have together."

"Our bond is still strong," Jax insisted. "I have that same connected feeling that I had in high school. You're right, though. When you got out of jail, things changed. I was just so focused on my plans for SAMCRO that _we_ got lost."

"When you didn't talk to me about the arrest, I thought that you were leaving me to figure it out on my own. I know now when I got out of jail, I should have told you what I needed from you. I shouldn't have expected that you would know.

"I was depending on you to magically know how to fix things. It wasn't fair to you, but my thinking was distorted by my fear of going to prison. I'm trying to learn from that experience.

"I'm telling you what I need from you _now_. I need you to control your anger if it's directed against me. I will _never_ allow you to terrorize me again. I need you to be the strong, tough one now. Since the boys got taken, I'm barely holding together."

Tara looked Jax in the eye.

"And then there's Gemma. I don't want her in your life, in mine or in the boys' lives. She's toxic. It isn't that she killed me. It's about who she is as a person. Your mother has never liked me. There have been some times when we did kind of get along, but it's always felt like me doing all the work to get her to like me or hate me a little less.

"She and Juice were responsible for the hell they put you through when they made up the Chinese lie. She knew it would set you on fire. She saw what her lie was doing to you and she did nothing to stop it. How can you do that to someone you love? If you want to have a relationship with Gemma, then we _are_ done. That's a deal breaker for me."

"Do you want me to kill her?"

"If she isn't behind this kidnapping and if she leaves us completely alone, I'm OK with her living."

"I can give you what you're asking for," Jax said softly. "How can I help with the fear?"

"When you're in control, you might not hurt me, but if you lose your temper, I don't know what you'll do. I liked the drama and danger that came with your world. It was exciting. I like the passion that you have and with it comes the hot temper. In some sick way, I like being a little fearful of you."

"When I first learned the truth about your plan, I was hurt and angry. The idea that you were going to divorce me," Jax paused and remembered how he felt when he learned the news, "cut deep. It's easier to be angry than hurt. I never took the murder charge against you seriously. When you didn't say anything to me, I thought you felt the same way. We should have talked. We have to turn to each when we have problems."

"I agree. I'm not without blame. My stupid crazy plan to free us from Gemma wasn't my best work."

"You wouldn't have come up with a crazy plan if I had been there for you. I should have talked to you when you got out. I didn't know that I shouldn't have picked you up on my motorcycle. It never even occurred to me."

"Did you ever even consider how I'd feel about _anything_?" Tara asked her voice rising. "You terrorized me every day with the escorts and your cold, callous treatment and I was powerless," Tara said, jumping to her feet. "I _saved_ Bobby's life and you told me that we would talk _after_ my trial. You couldn't spare ten minutes out of your damned day filled with fucking whores and killing people to talk to me about _our_ relationship and our sons?"

There it was finally, Tara's true emotion. Behind all the fear, Jax could feel how deeply angry she was with him. She rarely got mad at him, but now her anger was white hot and when Tara got angry, she stayed angry.

Fucking hell. He was sure that if he and Tara had sex, that would fix everything because if you got the sex right, you got the relationship right. Could his theory be wrong?

All he wanted was to figure out what to say to get himself out of this. If he could figure out what he needed to say to calm Tara down, he could get everything back to . . . normal . . . whatever the hell that was. Or, he could suck it up and tell her what he really felt. He decided to give honesty a shot just for the hell of it. It might work. Maybe. OK. Probably not, but what the hell.

He stayed on the bed because he didn't want to stand over her. He didn't want to scare her in anyway. Most of all, he needed to control his temper.

"The anger was easier to feel than the pain of knowing the most important relationship of my life was screwed up possibly beyond repair, mostly by me. That morning I was furious with you because of the pain I was feeling.

"I sent escorts with you because I was afraid you would take the boys and run. I was a shit father, but in my mind, in the future, I was planning to be a good dad. I was so fucking focused on getting SAMCRO out of guns; I didn't see anything else. I thought with SAMCRO out of guns and Clay dead, we could stay in Charming. I thought you would get off on the murder charge and we would have a happy life."

"You _terrorized_ me and you couldn't even spend time with your kids because you were too busy fucking a whore!" Tara yelled, her face flushed with anger and her hands were clenched into fists.

Oh, fuck. This was bad. He had never seen Tara like this. He could tell now there was nothing to say to make things right. They were either going to get through this or split for good. Maybe this was Ryland's plan all along, encourage Tara to talk hoping they would have this fight.

"Tara, I don't know what to say. From the day you got out of jail until the day you died, it was just one long fuck up after another. I didn't do a damned thing right until that last day. I can't undo any of the bad shit I did to you.

"I can learn and change, but I need you to forgive me for not being around for you when you got arrested and all the craziness that happened including my cheating. An apology won't fix it. What do you need me to do to make it right?" Jax spoke carefully, keeping his voice low and calm.

Tara stared at him for a couple of seconds. Her breathing slowed and she appeared calmer.

"It helps me that you aren't getting mad at me or yelling. Ry made me see that I need to talk to you about stuff even if the idea scares me or you scare me."

Fucking Ryland. What the hell was he up to anyway? Jax shook his head as if that might clear his brain.

"OK, I'm listening. Just be careful with your arms or you'll distract me with the underwear situation."

"Look at you using your words," Tara said in a bright chirpy voice imitating a preschool teacher.

It broke the tension between them and they both laughed.

"You have this physical side that is very sexy, very dangerous and very seductive," Tara said as she curled up on the bed, using the pillow to block Jax's view of her legs. "I love that side of you even when it frightens me a little. I know that you may need to get violent with people as we look for our boys. I'm OK with that. I know it's just part of finding our boys. I know you will do whatever it takes to find them and get them back. I like that strong kind of ruthless side of you."

"That part of me also scares you, doesn't it?"

"If it's directed at me."

"That's why you thought I was going to kill you. You've see me do it. You had enough on me to send me to prison for the rest of my life or death row. With Gemma in my ear, I can see how you might have thought I would hurt you.

"I've never laid a hand on you and I will never hurt you. I get now why you thought I could kill you though because you've seen the violence I'm capable of. I did terrorize you. You're right. Shit. I never saw it like that."

"Ry said that we need to either forgive each other completely or split up. I'm ready to forgive you and take responsibility for not talking to you. If you ever put your hands on me or cheat, we're done. If you want Gemma in your life or our boys' lives, we're done."

"OK," Jax nodded. "I can do that. I wish there was a better solution to Gemma, but you are right; we can't have her in our lives. I can forgive you for your crazy plan and for not talking to me. I need you to tell me if I'm scaring you. Don't expect me to read your mind. If you cheat, we're done."

"OK."

Jax hesitated. Everything seemed good between them, but it was in his nature to push things. He decided to test out this new honest relationship style and see how it worked.

"Why don't you want me to be romantic with you?"

Tara looked up at him startled.

"Truth," Jax added.

"Since I got out of jail, I don't fell sexually connected to you. I didn't think you noticed."

"I didn't at the time, but I do see a difference now. You still don't feel sexually connected to me?"

She looked at him and slowly nodded her head.

"I thought after we had sex, we would feel bonded together, but I'm not feeling it either. Maybe it's because it's just been sex," Jax said.

"I can't believe you know the difference," Tara said with a small smile.

"I only know the difference because you're the only woman there's ever been a difference with. It's just sex with no emotion. I want that emotional connection with you."

"With my hormones being so crazy, I really just need sex. I can't give you more than that now."

"I thought if we had sex then I would know that you were still in love with me. I don't mind being your sex toy to get you through your hormone craziness. After that . . ."

"Let's just get through the hormone thing and go from there," Tara said interrupting him.

"I like this talking about stuff."

"Yeah, it took me long enough to figure it out. Ry helped a lot. I could really use a nap. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Me too."

"Would you mind putting your arms around me while I sleep if you can behave?"

"I like holding you in my arms when we sleep. I'm too tired to misbehave right now anyway."

They settled into bed together, Tara wrapped in Jax's arms. He shut his eyes and expected instant sleep, but his mind kept working. It felt like they had finally settled everything and put their past to rest.

Jax had a revelation. He spent his time with SAMCRO working on making the club into something. He never put any time or thought into his relationship with Tara. It was her job to take care of their relationship and the boys. His father and Clay had been the same. Old ladies were the ones who took care of the man and the relationship.

He was in the relationship. He was equally responsible for the condition. He should have devoted time to taking care of their relationship and making Tara happy. Now with his boys missing, Tara needed him not to only pull his weight; she needed him to be the relationship leader now. Protecting Tara, being strong and showing her the kind of man he was growing into would help her see they belonged together.

Maybe Tara was smart not to immediately take him back. If she had, he probably would never have had this breakthrough. This was the future for them—loving and taking care of each other, putting each other and their boys first and working together to solve problems. With the conversation they had just had, he was more optimistic than ever about their future. All they had to do was get the boys back. Finally, he fell asleep.

When Jax woke up, Tara was gone. Light was coming from the open bathroom door. He got up and found her curling her hair with a curling iron.

"I don't think I've seen you with curls before," he said.

"You were lucky enough to miss the time I got a perm when I was in college. It was so tight; I couldn't get a comb or brush through it. I checked in with Louise. There's not much to report. Hale talked to Rat. I guess Rat was pretty cooperative given that he's in SAMCRO. He said that he and Brooke broke up about a week ago and he hasn't seen her since. She sent him some pictures showing her at a couple of bars with Wendy.

"Louise hacked Rat's cell and got the pictures. The pictures had geotags. Louise traced them to some bars in Norco. Rat did tell Hale that if he heard from Brooke again that he would let him know. Louise is going to monitor his phone now."

"That's good news. It fits with the theory that Brooke took the boys."

Tara walked over to Jax and ran her hand up under his T-shirt and leaned close.

"I need you inside me _now_ ," she whispered in his ear.

"Preference?" he asked, sliding his hands under her dress.

"The wall really works for me. We get the perfect angle."

"OK, but the next time, do you think we could take our clothes off first?"

"I can't make promises. It's just the urge takes over and you are so hot. I can't wait."

"You know the perfect thing to say to me," Jax said lifting Tara off her feet.

Sex was amazing, but it still felt empty. Jax wondered if they would ever get back that physical connection. Maybe Tara's crazy hormones were the reason and things would fix themselves.

Jax didn't think Nero's uncle and his old lady would be of much help, but the uncle was the easiest way to find Nero. Nero had to know something that would help them find the boys or Brooke.

Nero's uncle lived in a neat two story straw colored condo in a new subdivision. A short plump woman with auburn hair came to the door when Tara knocked.

"I am so sick of you reporters. I don't know anything," the woman snapped impatiently.

"We're not reporters and we don't want an interview," Tara said.

"I'm not buying anything."

"My name is Jax."

The woman opened the door wider so she could get a look at Jax.

"You're Jax Teller."

"No, I'm not. I do look like him though," Jax said, flashing her his winning smile. "Makes for lots of law enforcement fun."

"I can imagine. It's a good way to get shot."

"It definitely keeps life interesting. I'm sort of a business partner to Jax Teller. I just have a couple of questions about . . ."

"I don't think I'm going to be of much help," the woman interrupted him. "I told the private investigator everything I know."

"What private investigator?"

"The one Jax Teller hired to find his boys."

Hint to Readers—The mystery man is someone known to SOA viewers and he is not an original character.

Next Up: Spill Blood

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am thinking about doing a sequel to Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas. The plot will be either Tara gets a surprise plane ticket from her father, so she's spending Christmas in Charming. It's the first time she's been in town since she and Jax split up. Her father takes a last minute gig (just like original story) leaving Tara home alone on Christmas Eve. Jax comes by. The second option: Adam and his family from the Christmas story invite Jax and Tara to spend a few days at the cabin after Christmas. Jax and Tara don't want to tell the kids they aren't together anymore because the kids think they have this forever sort of epic love (or at least Lucy does), so they pretend to be a couple for a couple of days.

 **Please vote for either:**

 **Tara and Jax alone together on Christmas Eve OR**

 **Jax and Tara go to the cabin and pretend they are still together.**

 **NO VOTES EQUALS NO STORY. You can either vote through the review process or PM me. Neither story will reveal what caused Tara and Jax to split up. That's for Tara's Story to do.**

In a week or two, I will post another chapter to Tara's Story. It's been a little neglected.


	27. Chapter 27

9

 **Chapter 26 Recap**

Tara tells Jax that she's been in physically and emotionally abusive relationships in the past. She confronts him over the abuse he put her through when he gave her escorts after he found out about her plan against Gemma. She told him that he terrorized her everyday.

She had had a long discussion the previous night with Ryland and he told her thought she and Jax should reconcile. Tara isn't so sure, but she takes his advice and tells Jax what she needs from him including that if he has any contact with Gemma, their relationship is over.

Jax is optimistic that they can have a future together. He also tells Tara that he feels sexually disconnected from her. She tells him that she's felt the same way since she was released on bail. He wants a more emotional connection to her. She tells him that with her hormones making her sex crazy, she isn't ready for anything more with him.

They go to Nero's uncle's home and are told by the uncle's girlfriend that a man claiming to be sent by Jax Teller has been there looking for the kids.

J **ax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 27 Honey Bunny**

 **Author's Note**

 _Originally, this chapter was going to be called Spill Blood. I reordered some plot points and have moved those points to a later chapter. This chapter was getting too long and the back half of the chapter was going to suffer, so I decided to split the chapter and expand the back half of the chapter. I will post another chapter next week._

Nero's uncle Juan and his girlfriend Myra were unable to provide any useful information that could help locate the boys. Jax hadn't expected them to be of help; his goal was to get Nero's uncle to arrange a meeting with Nero.

Jax explained that he had helped Jax Teller disappear and he had a new ID and money ready for Nero in exchange for a few minutes of Nero's time answering questions about the missing boys. Nero's uncle claimed he wasn't in contact with Nero, but Jax knew better.

He needed to assure Nero that this wasn't a law enforcement trick to locate him. He told Nero's uncle about the conversation Jax Teller had with Nero in the TM office on the day he disappeared. This was a signal to Nero that the message came from Jax Teller. He gave his cell number and the name and phone number of their hotel to Nero's uncle on a slip of paper.

Myra hadn't been able to offer much information on the man claiming to be sent by Jax Teller. She had been rushing to a local park for a birthday party for a niece and hadn't paid much attention to the man. She told him she didn't know anything about the kids' location. She described him as being average height wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. She promised Tara that she would call if the man returned.

As soon as they were back in the SUV, Tara looked at Jax.

"I don't like this mystery man," she said, frowning. "I'm going to call Louise to see if she knows anything."

Louise didn't have any information, but she was going to post it so everyone looking for the boys would get the message.

"I think we should go by Nero's farm and search it, then dinner and back to the hotel for a few hours and then we'll check out a couple of the bars Brooke and Wendy visited."

"I'm worried about this man searching for the boys. Not only are the boys missing, we've got to find them before this man does," Tara said.

"We don't know what his intentions are."

"You don't believe that. This guy can't be good news for us."

"When Abel was kidnapped, I had a hard time dealing with it. I finally found a way to just focus on getting him back and doing everything to make that happen. I shut down the what if, what if, what if. It will make you crazy. For now, focus on getting the boys back and the steps we need to take to get there."

Tara leaned over and kissed Jax on the cheek.

"Thanks, baby."

Jax felt this rush of love for Tara. The intensity of his feelings still surprised him. He'd loved her since he was sixteen. Time had done nothing to diminish his feelings; they just continued to grow and deepen.

Despite his words, Jax was worried about this development. There was no good reason for someone to pose as an investigator helping Jax Teller find his boys. He hoped Louise would hear from someone on the team who would know something about this guy, but he wasn't optimistic.

"I need to tell you something about Wendy. Hale told me and I told him that I would tell you. It may come out in the press or Hale may leak the information to the press to see if it will motivate her to resurface."

"OK."

"Gemma was right when she called her a junkie whore."

"I figured that she traded herself for crank," Jax said, shrugging off the revelation.

"She started work for an escort agency when she was just out of high school. She's been busted a lot. She was in an off phase when she met you. She was still using, she just wasn't selling herself or there weren't any arrests for that time period."

"I'm not surprised. She always claimed she made money by freelancing manicures and pedicures, but she didn't even do her own nails."

"While she was pregnant with Abel, she went back to work in Sacramento as a very high end specialized escort. There are some men who have a fetish for having sex with pregnant women and they are willing to pay a premium. She even got arrested a couple of times."

"She told me that she'd gotten a DUI arrest in Sacramento."

"Hale said her arrests got mostly wiped away because she had a cop and a member of the California legislature as clients."

"I am Abel's father, right?"

"Yes."

Jax shook his head. The idea that Wendy would sell herself while she was pregnant with his child disturbed him, but he wasn't under any illusions about Wendy.

"I'm not surprised."

"You are taking the news better than I thought you would."

"Our boys are missing. Who Wendy fucked and for how much, doesn't matter much."

"I like how you've got your priorities straight," Tara said.

"I'd really like to smack the hell out of her for lying and saying I took the boys."

"You are better than I am. I still want to kill her."

"I'm working on my temper."

Tara laughed.

"You don't have to when it comes to Wendy. Any horrible thing you want to do to that crank whore, I'm in."

Thanks to the mini-CAS system in the car, they were guided to Nero's farm with flawless precision. Jax turned down a dirt road and drove for about a mile. The house was shielded from view by towering pink flowered oleander bushes.

The bushes are a favorite in water starved Southern California. They need no care and thrive in drought conditions. They are poisonous, but there's a downside to everything.

Off to one side were various pens that must have held livestock. Nero's son had little time to spend with the animals before Nero was forced to go on the run.

The house was a single story large white rectangle. From their discussion with Nero's Uncle Juan and his girlfriend Myra, they knew that the house was empty and the animals had been sold or given to neighbors.

The key ring for the SUV contained the standard car alarm remote only Jax's had alien tech modifications that could only be accessed by someone with nonhuman DNA. With a twist and a pull, the remote came apart. One part could be used to open any key card lock with a swipe leaving no record of the entry. The other part could unlock any lock from a padlock to the most sophisticated deadbolt. Jax used the remote gadget to unlock the house's front door. They had already pulled on gloves from a secret compartment under the driver's seat.

"I think we will be OK to turn on the lights. We're blocked from view and it won't take us long to search."

"I can't believe there's no crime scene tape," Tara said.

"Tara, remember, the cops aren't doing anything to find the boys."

"I thought they might have done _something_."

"They did something by deciding not to do anything."

Tara looked at the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.

"There's hardly any food. There's no formula for Thomas."

Jax could see that Tara was buckling under the pressure. He put his hand on her shoulder.

"Come on," he said gently. "Let's move on."

The farmhouse was a typical house; it was just set in the middle of vacant land and animal pens. The furniture came with the house. The kitchen and living room were one big room done in oak with a large sectional sofa and a couple of armchairs all in beige.

Jax and Tara scanned the rooms looking for anything that seemed out of place. They walked down a short hall and found what had briefly been Abel and Thomas' room. There was a twin bed and a crib.

Tara looked at the crib and noticed Thomas' bunny.

"They didn't take Honey bunny," she said, her eyes bright with unshed tears and her lower lip quivered.

The way she looked at Jax broke his heart.

"It's OK. We will get them back."

"Gemma didn't take the boys. Gemma would have remembered his bunny. She knows he needs it to sleep," Tara said. She picked up the bunny, smelled it and wrapped her hands around it. "I don't think it will hurt if I take Honey bunny. I'll keep it hidden in one of the secret compartments in the car."

There was no way Jax was going to tell Tara that she couldn't have the bunny. When Clay took Abel's hat from him, he thought about punching him. He didn't think Tara would take a swing at him; he thought she would cry. He would take the punch over seeing her cry any day.

"We will kill the people who took them," Jax promised grimly.

"Slowly," Tara added. Jax knew from the look in her eyes that she wasn't kidding.

Tara pointed to a ring on the nightstand by the single bed.

"Gemma wouldn't have left the ring either."

"That's the ring Gemma gave JT when he joined SAMCRO."

"I saw Gemma give the ring to Abel on the alien surveillance system. She went to his school. If Brooke took the kids because Wendy wasn't a fit mother, would she have remembered Thomas' bunny and Abel's ring?"

"Brooke is good with the boys, but she's young and kind of forgetful. If she took the boys, she wouldn't have known about Abel's ring unless someone told her. She knows Thomas needs his bunny. She's put him to bed enough to know that, but she could have forgotten especially if she were in a hurry."

There was another bedroom with a widened doorway for Nero's son's wheelchair. His son had been born with spina bifida and he had spent his life in a state run facility. Nero had been looking forward to finally having him at home.

"It's sad. Nero's kid didn't get very long at the farm," Jax said.

"Poor kid," Tara said. "He's losing his father. I hope the care facility is not letting him see the news. He doesn't need to know his father is wanted for killing a couple of guys."

"I hope the same thing for Abel."

"Come on, let's finish," Tara said, rubbing Jax's arm.

They looked around the master bedroom and a spare room with a sofa bed and a small table and two straight backed chairs.

"We haven't found any suitcases or bags belonging to Wendy or Brooke. I think that means they left on their own and no one took them," Tara said.

"There's only a small bag with stuff for the boys."

"That's why we need to talk to Nero and find out what Wendy packed for the kids. I was hoping we would find some clue that would help."

"I didn't think we would find anything here," Jax said, "but we needed to check."

"Abel's medication. We need to see if they took that," Tara said.

"I forgot that too," Jax said.

They quickly searched the bathrooms and the boys' room without locating Abel's heart medication.

"At least they took Abel's heart medication."

"We don't know that," Jax pointed out. "Wendy could have forgotten to bring it. That could also explain why Brooke was coming to Norco; she was bringing the forgotten medication."

"We really need to talk to Nero."

Jax used the alien tool to lock the deadbolt behind them. They stripped off the gloves. Jax returned them to the hidden compartment under the front seat along with Thomas' bunny.

"Are you going to make it through dinner without sex?" Jax asked with a warm, sexy smile.

"How about a quickie in the back seat?"

"A quickie? Ouch! You have wounded me." Jax said with his hand clutching his heart, "I can't believe you think I'm even capable of being quick."

"I appreciate your help during my sexual time of need," Tara said as she climbed into the backseat.

"When you need sex, I'm your guy," Jax said as he followed her into the back seat. "You don't even have to ask. You can unzip my jeans or start taking your clothes off."

"Thanks for the options."

"Happy to be of assistance."

For a moment, Jax thought about fretful little Thomas crying for his bunny or a familiar face or poor terrified Abel scared and wondering when someone was coming to save him.

Torturing himself with the images wouldn't help get the boys back. He focused on the moment and the pleasure of burying himself deep inside Tara's warm, silky body. Sex had always been his drug of choice.

 **Next Up: Gone Girl will be posted next week**

 _ **Christmas Story: I am still considering doing a Christmas story. It's Jax and Tara's first Christmas since the break-up. Her father gives her a ticket and she's back in Charming—only this Christmas has a guaranteed happy ending. If I do decide to do the story, it will be in three parts and the first will be posted next week.**_

 _ **Guest reviews I had a very sweet guest review dated December 5. The reviewer asked if I were going to continue writing the love story between Jax and Tara when they were in high school. I am still writing this story. I change the covers with every time I post a story. To make sure you don't miss out on stories, you can follow me and you'll get notified any time I post a story, or you could follow Tara's Story. I hope you find Tara's Story and enjoy reading it. I always write back personal messages but I can't write back unless you've signed into your account. I hope this helps you find Tara's Story and it is the one you mentioned.**_


	28. Chapter 28

16

 **Chapter 27 Recap**

Jax and Tara learn nothing from Nero's uncle and his girlfriend, but Jax leaves contact information hoping that Nero's uncle will arrange a meeting. The uncle's girlfriend Myra provides little information about the man claiming he was sent by Jax Teller to look for the boys. She had been in a hurry and only remembers the man was average height wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses.

Jax and Tara search Nero's farm and find no clues. Tara notices that Honey bunny, the rabbit Thomas likes to sleep with wasn't taken. She believes that if Gemma had taken the boys, she would have taken Thomas' bunny because she knows he needs it to sleep.

 **J AX IS REALLY ALIVE!**

 **Chapter 28 Gone Girl**

After an impressive amount of time for a quickie, Jax and Tara, using mini-Cas' navigation system, found a steakhouse/BBQ restaurant nearby. It was a typical, casual dining restaurant with dark wooden tables with burgundy upholstered chairs. They were seated at a secluded booth with high sides for maximum privacy after Jax explained they were celebrating an anniversary.

A red-headed waitress with a ponytail came and took their order. They ordered iced tea, Caesar salads with steak and ribs for Jax and steak for Tara. They needed to replenish the calories they had burned from so much sex.

"This is a great booth. All nice and private," Tara said.

"That's why I made up the story about an anniversary. We can't talk much with anyone around. In this booth, we're separated and secluded. Also, since we're hidden from view, maybe we'll be able to get out of here without the cops getting called."

"I was thinking about how some traits are genetic like Abel's heart condition. In our family, we have a trait, but it's not genetic. You were kidnapped by the Russians and the cartel. I was kidnapped by Salazar. Abel was kidnapped by the Irishman Cam and our boys have now both been kidnapped. That's four of us and we've been kidnapped six times," Tara said.

"I never thought of it before, but you're right. That's a lot of kidnapping. This is the last time anyone gets kidnapped."

"I hope so. I still remember how scared I was when Gemma told me you and Opie were kidnapped."

"It is ironic that the cartel saved Opie and me and then later they kidnapped me."

"I'm surprised some sex-crazed soccer moms from that coffee and cupcake shop near TM didn't kidnap you and use you as a sex slave."

"I'm too fast," Jax chuckled. "I can out run them. Juice wasn't so lucky. They wanted to see if his penis matched the one on the internet that the VPUs posted."

(This is a reference to Strange Times for SAMCRO, another story I write. Juice got jumped, stripped of all his clothes except his cut and photographed by a member of the Vespa Purple Unicorns, the most vicious of all the scooter gangs. After the photograph, the cut was taken from him.

The VPUs' mission is to humiliate outlaw MCs. Juice's picture was posted on the internet next to a ruler that showed he measured a soft two inches. To undo the club's humiliation, the guys had a quick dick measuring contest. Jax won, of course, and his penis was photoshopped onto Juice's picture, redeeming the club's honor.)

"Do you think the VPUs could be responsible for the windows and the fire at Scoops?"

"No. The VPUs do things that are humiliating. Like posting videos of Tig getting his hair permed and Juice falling over on his bike because he forgot to put is feet down at a stop sign. They wouldn't shoot out windows. They would paint their VPU symbol on the building. They did that before at TM."

"So, you think there's any chance they took the boys?"

"No. The VPUs are anti-MC. They want to destroy outlaw MCs because they don't like the violence and the lifestyle. Taking the boys would draw heat to them and be against everything they believe in. They aren't going to do that."

"I think I like the VPUs."

"They ride around on purple Vespas," Jax pointed out. "No real man is going to ride a Vespa and their logo is a unicorn riding a Vespa."

The waitress brought the iced teas and salads. Tara waited until the waitress was gone before she continued.

"I always liked the macho side of the MC. I tried dating the sensitive modern guy and it just didn't work for me."

"You need a little sensitivity. When your hormones calm down, I'm going to want more than meaningless sex," Jax cautioned her.

"Words I can't believe came out of your mouth."

"I'll shock you some more. I want to kiss you for at least an hour. _Only_ kissing."

"An hour, huh? We haven't done that since high school."

"We spent a lot of time just kissing then."

It occurred to Jax that he planned moves when he was leading SAMCRO and he should do the same when it came to getting Tara back. His strategy was to break down her emotional walls by using their past. By deliberating reminding Tara of those perfect high school days when they craved each other and no matter how much time they spent together, it was never enough; she would remember all the love and good times they shared and want more.

"It took you long enough to kiss me. I think you made out with every girl in school _twice_ before you kissed me. And that first kiss, _really_?"

(I also write Tara's Story. That's where what happened during that first kiss is revealed.)

"I may have been playing you a little," Jax said with an ear to ear grin.

"So you had some kind of plan that involved not kissing me?"

"It worked. I think that I should be compensated for all the meaningless sex I've given you today."

"You compensated?" Tara asked indignantly. "You're getting sex."

"True, but I didn't want meaningless sex. That's what _you_ wanted. I want something in return. Isn't this how our relationship works? We tell each other our needs."

"What compensation do you want for helping me in my time of dire sexual need? I thought you were doing it to help me out. I didn't know it came with a price."

"The meaningless part is the reason I'm going to need compensation," Jax explained with a serious look on his face. "I want to spend an hour just kissing you. No fondling of the breasts or hands wandering below the waist."

Tara frowned, drawing her eyebrows together in thought.

"Is that one hour for each time we have sex or is this the full rate."

Jax drummed his fingers on the table as he contemplated the price for all the sex he was having with Tara.

"I'll cut you a deal. Two hours is the full rate to be paid in one hour installments."

"Do I have to kiss you back?"

" _Really?_ " Jax's voice rose. "You don't want to kiss me back?"

The waitress arrived at that moment with their entrees.

Tara again waited until the waitress left the table.

"I'm playing you. I wanted to see the look of outrage on your face. Your face turns red and your eyes practically shoot sparks. You look just so insulted," she said giggling. "How could any girl fail to respond to a kiss by you?"

"Damned right. It's never happened before," Jax said. "You know what, if you don't want to kiss me back, I'll just kiss you."

"You are taking advantage of my physical disability. That's wrong."

"True, but I have what you need. Two hours of kissing seems a small price to pay for all the sex you expect me to provide. Better take my offer now before I increase the price."

"Fine. I accept, but just you wait; I am going to remember this and you will suffer. Remember the time you soaked me with the hose? You even got my hair and face wet. Remember how I got revenge?"

"Yeah, you tied me up and waxed my junk. Couldn't have sex for four days because I had a bad reaction."

"That bad reaction wasn't intentional and I didn't tie you up. You did that to yourself."

" _Accidentally_."

"Seeing you tied naked, spread-eagled to the bed and completely helpless was such a good moment. Waxing you was so much fun."

"Most women would have taken the opportunity to have sex with me. You wax me."'

"I can get sex from you anytime. Revenge is a lot harder to come by."

(Jax and Tara are referencing a chapter in 52 Shades of Jax, another story I write)

The waitress returned to refill their iced tea glasses. Her hands were shaking so badly she almost spilled tea all over the table.

"You think I'm Jax Teller," Jax said.

The waitress looked at him with fear in her hazel eyes.

"We had this happen earlier," Tara explained. "I wish the police would just catch that guy. It's such an inconvenience for us and people get so scared."

"I just realized you sort of look like him."

"Sort of look like?" Tara exclaimed. "He's his twin, but he doesn't have the tattoos. Show her your arms."

"Oh, no, you don't have to do that."

Jax pulled up his sleeves to show that his arms were free of tattoos.

"Sorry, I was so silly," she said, flashing them a dimpled smile.

"That's OK. Maybe you could reassure anyone else that thinks I'm Teller."

"Of course."

The waitress left looking visibly calmer.

"That went well," Tara said.

"Yeah, I think it will get easier."

"It will be easy with civilians. Cops don't want to believe you aren't Jax Teller. They didn't care that you didn't have tattoos when we got detained at lunch. I think they thought it was some trick."

"It was funny when they kept staring at my arms."

After they finished dinner, they returned to their hotel. Jax continued to help Tara through her hormone sex craziness by being her human sex toy. If they didn't have to head out to a couple of biker bars, he would have been able to easily top Opie's ten times in one day sex with Donna— _not_ that he was competing.

Tara dressed in tight jeans and a V-neck cherry colored top that showed a hint of cleavage. She'd curled and teased her hair, applied black eyeliner and three coats of mascara to her eyes and filled in her lips with a peachy nude lip gloss.

"You definitely look like bad girl Tara now," Jax said, looking her over.

"What about you? No white sneaks?" she said, looking down at Jax's black motorcycle boots.

Jax was wearing jeans, a blue chambray shirt and a black leather bomber jacket perfectly distressed.

"There are always fights in biker bars. Since we don't have back up, motorcycle boots do more damage. Not as stylish," Jax smiled, "but they can inflict serious injury."

"Is this going to be hard for you?"

That was the Tara he knew so well. That compassionate person that was always concerned about him until he fucked everything up when she got arrested.

He kissed the top of her head.

"I'll be fine. You know I will do anything to get the boys back."

"That's one of the things I lo . . . like about you best," Tara said.

Jax immediately picked up on her slip. He knew her feelings were softening. The expression in her eyes was warmer. Her eyes looked more like melting chocolate.

On the drive to the first of the three bars they planned to visit, Jax gave Tara additional instructions.

"You are going to have a lot of guys come up to you. Their hands may wander a bit and you may have to allow a certain amount of that. That doesn't mean you have to let them do whatever they want to. You have the physical strength and training to handle yourself. Girls are going to come up to me and talk and my hands may wander a bit, but it's just to get info."

"Strictly business."

"Also, if you go to the bathroom, you can expect to see people having sex."

"Have you done that?"

"What do you think?"

Tara rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Of course, you have. Why did I even ask?"

"Don't sound so superior. You've had sex in a bathroom with me. Remember the party at Caracara?"

"Yeah, I remember. I was jealous and that porn whore Ima and I almost had a catfight. I went into the bathroom to cool down and you came in. One thing led to another and we had sex in the bathroom. The best part was Ima came in and saw us."

"Didn't that make it hotter? You were getting _exactly_ what she wanted."

"Ummm . . . yeah," Tara said dreamily, remembering. "It did."

"If you need me, rub the top of your head," Jax said. "I'll be watching you constantly just to make sure nothing happens. When you want to leave just come over to my table or when I want to leave, I'll come over to you."

"You make it sound so dangerous."

"I wouldn't let you go in alone even with your alien super powers. The guys are used to using women and aren't too gentle about it. Be careful."

Jax parked the SUV and they entered the bar, Tara first followed by Jax. She walked to the bar and perched on a barstool. Jax entered quickly, scanning the bar before sitting down at a table with his back against the wall with a view of Tara and the front door.

The bar was done in forest green and cream. The walls had local street signs, historical pictures from Norco's past and pictures of softball teams the bar sponsored. It was neat and clean without a neon sign or cockroach in sight. The barmaids wore jeans with green T-shirts that had the bar's name "Green Tavern" on them.

Jax relaxed. This wasn't a biker bar. It was a cozy neighborhood bar. It was definitely not the kind of place that had nightly biker brawls. He still kept a watchful eye on Tara.

She never flirted with guys in front of him, but now, to get information, bad girl Tara had come out to play. Bad girl Tara was a lot of fun, but he loved her best when she was just herself.

A man walked up to Tara and spoke to her. She smiled at him, leaning close to say something to him. A few minutes of conversation later, she pulled some pictures of Brooke out of her purse.

Tara was posing as a porn film producer in search of the female star who was last seen riding off with a biker. Filming was beginning in a few days at a local farm and she needed to find the actress.

As a reward for any tip that helped her find the missing star Brooke, Tara was offering to let him or her watch the movie being made and attend the film's wrap party with a couple of friends. It was an opportunity of a lifetime. Tara further sweetened the deal by offering $500 to the person who helped her find Brooke.

Word quickly spread. At least one guy from each table made his way to Tara and took a flyer with Brooke's name on it and Tara's cell number written on the back.

Jax's story wasn't as easy a sell as Tara's. Women would be cautious about helping a man find a woman because he could be a pimp or a violent ex. He would have to turn on his charm to sell his story that he was looking for his off her meds bi-polar half sister Wendy.

It suddenly hit Jax that he could test out what Tara said about hybrid men not being able to sexually perform with humans. Maybe Tara made up the story or it didn't apply to Sliven men. All he needed to do was get hard when he thought about having sex with one of the four women sitting at his table. Two of them weren't very attractive so he would focus on the blonde and brunette he was sandwiched between.

The blonde woman was wearing a top so low cut her breasts were in danger of spilling out. That was more than enough to get him hard. Nothing. Not even the slightest twitch.

Not to worry; he had always preferred brunettes. He looked at the brunette sitting on the other side of him. She was running her hand up his leg stopping just short of his balls. She was pretty with long brown hair and gray eyes. Definitely someone he would have taken to bed. No erection. Not even the smallest stiffening.

What the hell was going on here? He should have easily gotten hard. Maybe all the sex with Tara had just worn him out. On the other hand, he had never been sexually worn out before. He didn't even think it was possible.

OK. Maybe he should try to get hard thinking about a threesome with the two women who were sitting at his table that didn't make the cut. Women willing to do threesomes automatically increased their attractiveness by two points. These women needed the two points. He pictured a threesome. Shit. Nothing. Not the slightest stirring.

He returned to his theory that he'd had so much sex that he might need a little more time. If he thought about having sex with Tara, he shouldn't get hard. He thought about having sex with Tara. Hard.

Son of a bitch! His dick worked fine when he thought about sex with Tara and failed on the four other women. Could it be some weird coincidence or was Tara telling him the truth that hybrid males could only perform sexually with other hybrids, Paralorns and Slivens?

He wouldn't cheat on Tara again. Aside from it being wrong, she would never forgive him and they would be done for good. He didn't want to have sex with anyone but Tara. He just wanted it to be a choice.

Could that be it? Deep down his body knew he only wanted Tara and that's why he couldn't get hard. He knew that sex with another woman would cost him the only woman he had ever loved. That made sense. He decided to wait until he could talk to Hale and Opie to see what they knew.

After about an hour, Jax walked up to the bar, put his arm around Tara and whispered in her ear.

"This happens to me all the time," Tara explained to the guys at the bar. "Guys find out I'm a porn producer and they want an audition." Tara looked Jax up and down and shrugged. "OK, blondie, I'll give you a quick try. Remember, if you see my star, call me and I'll make it worth your while." Tara winked at the men. "You've never partied until you've been to a porn film wrap party."

"You were great," Jax said as they got into the SUV.

"I think it was the story."

"No, Tara, you were great. You had those guys eating out of your hand and that was all you, not the story."

She blushed and smiled, pleased by Jax's compliment.

"I think the porn story is the one that will give us the best results. All the guys would love to watch a porn film being made."

"I agree. I did OK with my story about Wendy, but the women were more interested in me than in helping me. I doubt I'll get any calls."

"You'll get calls; they just won't be about Wendy. That didn't seem so dangerous. They guys were really nice."

"That wasn't a biker bar. It was a neighborhood bar."

"I think Wendy and Brooke were hanging out at biker bars hoping to find replacements for the bikers they lost."

"Brooke is a naïve kid. Wendy knows better."

"She's probably using again," Tara said. "She isn't making rational choices and Brooke may be taking the break-up with Rat Boy hard. Break-ups can cause people to act out."

"Yeah, I know what losing someone you love can do," Jax said ruefully. "Now, this looks more like a biker bar," Jax said as he pulled into the bar's parking lot.

The bar was a non-descript mud brown stucco building with a "Red Dog Bar" sign painted on the building's side. There were six motorcycles, along with a couple of cars, pick-ups and SUVs.

"It's definitely not as nice as the first place."

"Remember . . ."

"Rub the top of my head if I need you," Tara interrupted and completed Jax's sentence.

"No, I was going to say to remember you already have your biker, so don't go looking for a replacement."

"Don't worry," Tara said with a smile. "No one can ever compare to you."

Jax had spend a lot of time in biker bars, but this was the first time he'd walked into one without his cut or a couple of SOA brothers. He wasn't worried about himself. Between the enhanced hybrid physical powers and the fight training with the robots, he knew he could fight his way out of the bar. He was worried about Tara. He needed to protect her and make sure she didn't take get hurt.

"This is going to be a completely different experience than the last one. Definitely stay out of the bathrooms here. A guy could follow you in."

"I have alien super strength and fight training. I can handle myself."

"More than one guy might follow you in. Just stay out of the bathrooms here."

"What's wrong?"

"This is a rough place for a woman and you are fresh meat."

"I'll be careful and I won't go into the bathrooms."

Tara walked in first and again perched on a barstool. Jax sat with his back against the wall, perfectly positioned so he could see Tara, the front door and the bathroom doors.

Patrons of biker bars don't go for the ambience or cleanliness; still this place would have made even the most hardened biker hesitate to enter. It was dingy, dark, run-down with battered tables and chairs. The carpet on the floor was possibly beige a couple of decades ago. Now, it was dark brown with darker patches. There were neon signs for beer companies on the walls that provided the only illumination.

The bar was off to one side with pool tables on the other and tables with a few red booths mended with duct tape in between. In the largest booth, six bikers were holding court. They had two part patches identifying themselves as a non outlaw club with the name "Kitty Cabal".

Jax wondered what the hell the name "Kitty Cabal" meant. Were they a bunch of violent cat lovers or was kitty someone's attempt at being clever and they meant pussy? He sure as hell would never wear a patch with the word "kitty" on it. The actual logo was a badly drawn cat's head. It was hard to take this bunch seriously, but they outnumbered him. He could still outfight them though.

Tara was attracting a lot of attention both by being new to the bar and one of the few women in the place. Jax watched as a couple of guys went up to talk to her. A short bald guy who outweighed Tara by at least a hundred pounds walked up to her and grabbed her breast.

Jax was halfway to his feet before he stopped himself. He needed to let Tara handle this. Tara slapped the guy's face so hard, he staggered sideways and everyone laughed including Jax.

The big bald guy that grabbed Tara had a big, bright red slap mark on his face. He went into the bathroom.

Jax was proud of Tara, but he had to resist the temptation to follow the guy into the bathroom and administer his own beat down for touching her. He needed to stay and watch her.

Tara continued talking to the men at the bar and handing out pictures of Brooke. The bald man returned from the bathroom and took a seat at a table. One of the bikers left the booth and sat down at his table.

While still keeping a watchful eye on Tara, Jax talked to the skinny blonde who came over to his table. He flirted with her automatically, but he was watching both Tara and the two men at the table looking at her.

The other man at the table, wearing jeans and a trucker's cap with the words "Gene's Trucking" on it, went to the bar and managed to get next to Tara. He spoke to her and she smiled. Jax thought he might be trying to smooth things over for his bald buddy at the table. Still, Jax couldn't shake his sense of uneasiness.

Jax went into his story about Wendy and handed out a picture. The blonde was clearly not interested in helping Jax find his missing half-sister. She offered to go into the bathroom with him. He declined and she left pouting.

There seemed to be something off about Tara. She was moving slowly and spilling her drink. She couldn't be drunk because she wasn't taking more than a few sips of the drinks the men were buying her. She knew better than to get drunk.

The skinny blonde that Jax had rejected moved on to the man at the table next to him. He must have offended her in some way because she poured his beer over his head. The barmaid quickly made her way over to the table and began cleaning up.

Jax looked up and Tara was gone. The fat guy she slapped and the biker standing next to her were also gone.

 **Next Up: Final chapter of Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas and a new chapter of Tara's Story after that.**


	29. Chapter 29

9

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 28 Recap**

Tara learns that Jax expects compensation for all the sex he's been having with her. He wants to kiss—and only kiss—her for two hours. She agrees because she's in dire sexual need and he has what she needs.

They go to a local bar. Tara is posing as a porn film producer looking for the star of a soon to be shot film who walked into a biker bar and left on the back of a bike. She was offering invitations to the film's shooting and wrap party as incentives for the information. She passes out pictures of Brooke with her cell number on the back. Jax is posing as a brother looking for his off her meds bi-polar half sister Wendy.

After striking out at the neighborhood bar, they go to a seedy biker bar. Jax cautions Tara telling her that alien super powers or not, he wouldn't let her go into the place alone. A man walks up to Tara and grabs her breast. She slaps the man so hard he almost falls down. A short time later, Jax is briefly distracted when a woman at the table next to his pours beer over a man's head.

When Jax looks up, he notices that Tara is gone along with the two men who were standing next to her at the bar.

 **Chapter 29 From Here to Hell**

 **Author's Note: I spent the last couple of days debating where to break the chapter. I was going to post a short 1000 word chapter and follow up with the remaining chapter. I posted the chapter and almost instantly had second thoughts, so I deleted the chapter. I am now posting the chapter as I orginally intended before I thought about taking the short way out.**

 **I am also changing the cover so it shows that it's a new chapter. Sorry for the confusion, but my mind is frequently a confused with too many thoughts and plots.**

If the men had taken Tara into the bathroom or out the front door, they would have crossed in front of him. They had to have taken her out the back door. There was no doubt in Jax's mind that someone had drugged Tara and they were going to rape her. He had to get to her before that happened.

He walked down the back hallway. One guy wearing a Kitty Cabal cut and another guy blocked his path. If he'd had his cut on, these morons wouldn't have dared bar his path.

"Move," Jax said curtly.

The two guys continued to stand there smirking at him. Jax didn't have time for a conversation and he really didn't have anything to say that he hadn't already said. He grabbed the first guy by the neck and threw him down the hall about ten feet sending him crashing head first into a wall knocking him out. The combination of alien powers and adrenaline made Jax feel like a superhero.

The guy in the Kitty Cabal cut lunged at Jax with a three inch long blade while his back was turned. He saw the flash of the knife from the corner of his eye. He sidestepped the blade, pivoted and drove his elbow hard into the man's face breaking his nose with a sickening crack. The man gasped in pain, wildly waving the knife desperate to stick Jax somewhere, anywhere. Jax grabbed the man's wrist and twisted the knife from his hand sending it clattering to the grimy linoleum floor. He punched the man in the face breaking the man's jaw and knocking him to the ground. Jax gave the man a good-bye kick to the groin with his motorcycle booted foot. It had a more satisfying impact than his white sneaks. Unlike when he fought the robots, the men didn't get up ready to fight again.

He flung open the door just in time to see a clearly unconscious Tara being put in the backseat of an old beaten up white Chevy Malibu. They took off before he could get to the car.

He ran to the SUV and jumped in. He took off after the Chevy.

"Cas track Tara's phone."

"Tara's phone is in this vehicle."

Jax spotted her phone on the passenger's seat. It must have fallen from her bag or she took it out when she was looking for something. He swore under his breath.

He turned his attention back to the car with Tara in it. It was five cars in front of him. He couldn't see Tara in the car. A wave of dread spread over him. He wondered if one of the men could be raping Tara in the backseat of the car. As the car turned left, he was able see both men in the front seat of the car.

His relief was short-lived. Before he could make the same left turn, the light turned red and traffic began to flow. He waited at the light for traffic to clear.

There was just enough room for him to turn, red light or not. The back might get clipped but the SUV was heavy and should handle the impact. He turned. The driver in the opposing lane honked his horn and braked hard, skidding, coming less than an inch from Jax's bumper.

Jax sped up, scanning traffic for the Chevy. It was no where to be seen. He looked at parking lots. No Chevy. He kept driving. There were dark side streets the car could have turned down. Every mile he drove was hell as he imagined the car parked somewhere and Tara being raped.

One thing he'd learned from SAMCRO was to keep his focus. There would be time later to blame himself for taking his eyes off Tara, but this wasn't it.

This area was seedier and more run down than the biker bar. Businesses were closed and boarded up. There was an auto junkyard and a place that sold brightly colored pottery and bird baths that looked like they were from Mexico.

Where the hell was that car? Maybe they had turned down a side street, but where? There were so damned many places they could have gone.

The area was changing from run-down businesses to vacant land broken up by an occasional house or business. There were no bright lights, gas stations or convenience stores or much traffic.

Time was ticking. He had to get to Tara now. He had no idea how he was going to find her.

"Where the hell is Tara?" he asked, slamming his hands against the steering wheel.

"Tara is three miles away. Sending directions to your phone and to the vehicle's GPS," Cas said.

"Cas, how do you know where Tara is?"

"She has a tracker."

"Why the hell didn't I know about this sooner?"

"You didn't ask."

"It was a rhetorical question."

"I understand the definition of a rhetorical question, but I don't understand the concept of asking a question and not desiring an answer."

"When I am not rescuing Tara from rapists, which is what I'm trying to do now, I'll explain it to you," Jax snapped.

He took a calming breath. OK. It was good . . . no . . . great news that Tara had a tracker. Best news he'd had in the last five minutes anyway. Now, he could find her and get her back before they could harm her.

He followed the directions, turning and driving through streets filled with potholes and cracked pavement until he pulled up to a grimy white rectangular building that used to be some kind of diner. It looked like it hadn't been open in years.

There was the Chevy Malibu and nine motorcycles.

"Tara is in the building," Cas said.

Oh, fucking hell. Now, it all made a certain sick sense. There were always wild tales about initiation rites different MCs used. There was an MC that was rumored to gang rape a woman as initiation. Now he knew that Kitty Cabal was a reference to that.

He didn't have to rescue Tara from a couple of guys. He had to rescue her from an entire MC bent on raping her.

For a split second, he thought about calling police. This was something he would never have done as a member of SAMCRO. He was a civilian now. It was an option.

Best response would be under five minutes. Even the greenest rookie would understand that the number of bikes and the car parked outside meant there were a lot of men inside. Another call for more back-up. Another wait. Maybe a call to SWAT. They might get Tara away from Kitty Cabal, but not before they raped her.

Jax parked a half block away from the diner on an unlit side street. The land was mostly vacant farmland.

He leaned over and opened the hidden compartment that contained a Sig Sauer 10mm handgun. He tucked the gun into the waistband of his jeans at the small of his back. He opened the hidden compartment within the hidden compartment. This gun was a dark midnight blue and, according to Louise when she briefed him on the SUV and its special features, it had a 2,000 round clip, full auto and a built in silencer. This was more than a tricked out gun; it had alien technology. Something to do with the bullets. A single shot was fatal. He didn't have to hit a major organ or body part. Even a survivable shoulder shot was deadly with this weapon. It was easy; point, shoot and kill.

He didn't have time to come up with much of a plan. He would just kill everyone. Neat, clean and no witnesses. He just had one more thing to do before going after Tara. He needed a failsafe.

"Cas, you need to make three phone calls unless you hear me cancel the calls within ten minutes from now. Call 911 and tell them you saw a woman being sexually assaulted and give them Tara's location. Next, I need you to call both Ryland and Hale and tell them Tara was drugged and kidnapped. I went in after her and if they are getting this message, it means Tara is being sexually assaulted at and give them Tara's location by a biker MC called Kitty Cabal and I am dead and you have called 911. Repeat what I told you to do."

Cas repeated back Jax's directions perfectly. He told her to be silent unless he called her name. He slipped the phone inside a small pocket in his leather jacket.

He felt a huge rush of adrenaline. Part was fear of what these men could be doing to Tara and part was the danger and violence of what he was about to do. He'd killed a lot of men in his life. He'd lost count. He had never killed so many men at once, but he knew he would enjoy every second of it. The rage that was building inside of him was the most intense he'd ever felt.

He had provided help for Tara if he failed, but failure wasn't an option. He had to save Tara before she was violently gang raped by a bunch of non-outlaw bikers wearing cuts with a cat on them.

Nothing was visible through the windows. Heavy, dark curtains blocked out any light and any view inside the building.

Jax walked to the back screen door of the restaurant and opened it. He held the alien gun in his right hand as he slowly opened the restaurant's door.

"Hey, Robert. What the hell took you so long?"

He saw Jax.

"You're not . . ."

Jax squeezed the trigger. The alien weapon worked flawlessly making only a tiny cough as it spit out a bright blue flash of light that hit the man. Jax grabbed the man and lowered him quietly to the floor. There was no blood splatter, nothing to show what caused the man to collapse. Jax checked for a pulse. No pulse. The man was dead or would be because his heart wasn't beating.

Jax remembered another feature of the gun; it didn't kill aliens. It only killed humans. If he accidentally hit Tara, it wouldn't hurt her. He didn't want to think about why aliens from another planet would need a weapon that only killed humans. He had to stay focused on rescuing Tara.

Jax walked slowly and quietly through the dark kitchen. He heard the scurrying sounds of mice and the crunch of his boots on trash on the floor. The air was filled with the stench of rotting Chinese food and rancid cooking oil. Jax held his breath to keep from gagging.

"Where the hell is Robert? And where did Steve go to?" a man asked in a deep booming voice.

"Let's get started. My Viagra has already kicked in," another said.

"If the guys are late do I get to move up in line?" a younger voice asked

"Shut up, prospect," the man with the deep booming voice ordered. "You are last and you only get a turn if we decide to patch you in."

"But what if they don't show up?" the younger voice asked.

"They'll just miss out," someone else said.

"Can't believe we got one this hot," another of the men said. "I thought we were going to have to settle for that blonde meth skank until she walked in."

"It's too bad they can't suck your dick when they're knocked out," another guy said.

"She's a porn producer," added another.

"She's going to be starring in her very own film," another said and all the men laughed.

He peered around the corner into the dining room. The room was dimly light by a single overhead light. There were broken tables and chairs. Fast food wrappers and bags were strewn all over the floor. In one corner there was a rickety table with a laptop open on it. There was video of a dark haired young woman, naked, her eyes closed. Her body had that relaxed look of the unconscious. He couldn't tell from this distance whether it was Wendy, Brooke or neither. She did look familiar though. The room was the same one. Tara wasn't the first woman who had ended up in this place.

She was on a metal folding table with a faux woodgrain top in the middle of the room. The men were standing around her. She was lying on her back, her eyes closed. A man in his early twenties in a Kitty Cabal Prospect cut was touching her breasts and pinching her nipples through the fabric of her top.

"Leave her tits alone and get her pants off," a man two inches taller and seventy pounds heavier than Jax ordered. "With that Viagra, I bet I can go three rounds with her."

The tall heavy man had his jeans unzipped with his dick out, hard and ready to take the first turn. He had a president's patch on his Kitty Cabal cut.

"Make sure to get a close up of my dick going in," the president said to a guy holding a video camera. "I love ripping into a pussy for the first time."

 **Next Up: Who the hell knows what the future holds?**


	30. Chapter 30

8

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 29 Recap**

Jax finds Tara unconscious in an abandoned diner with the Kitty Cabal motorcycle club. On a ramshackle table, there is a laptop showing a video of a young dark haired woman being sexually assaulted and clearly unconscious.

To rescue Tara, Jax has to fight the entire MC. He decides the most efficient way to rescue Tara before she is gang raped is to kill them all.

 **Chapter 30 There Will Be Blood**

Old Jax wouldn't have thought twice about killing every man in the room. New Jax thought about it for a split second, maybe less. He just couldn't work up any sympathy or compassion for a group of men who drug and rape women. He was doing more than rescuing Tara; he was saving future victims.

It was all over in less than a minute thanks to the alien gun. It was quick, easy and clean. It was also deeply unsatisfying. He left two alive. The youngest who had been touching Tara's breasts and the president of Kitty Cabal with his dick hanging out still hard thanks to Viagra. He needed to beat a couple of men to death to satisfy the rage inside him.

"Cas, cancel all phone calls," Jax told Cas. It wasn't necessary for Jax to remove the phone from his jacket pocket to be heard. "Repeat instructions."

"Cancel all phone calls," Cas repeated. "Calls cancelled."

"Jax, it's Ryland."

"Give me a couple of minutes," Jax said curtly.

"What did you do to them?" the younger man asked.

"Same thing I'm going to do to you. I'm going to kill you."

"We'll kill you first," the president said, his cock still out and hard.

"I'm Jax fucking Teller," Jax said, his voice a low growl. "Heard of me?"

"Oh, shit," the younger man said. "You're president of the SOA MC."

"Former president of Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club _Redwood Original_ and part-time spree killer," Jax said drily. "I've done a lot of bad shit, killed a bunch of people, but I've never done anything as low as drugging a women to rape her. What the hell kind of loser does shit like that?"

"Rush him," the president ordered the prospect while he was trying to stuff his still erect dick into his pants.

The younger man decided to save himself. He ran for the diner's front door. Jax caught him, lifted him off his feet and slammed him to the ground wrestling style. He landed on chicken bones sending some mice scurrying away.

The president of Kitty Cabal gave up trying to wrangle his penis into his pants. He grabbed the knife that was strapped to his waist. It was much like the knife that Jax used to carry when he was in SAMCRO.

Jax grabbed the man's arm, twisted his wrist sharply and forced the man's hand back to his body making the man stab himself in the stomach. He forced the knife down six inches, ripping into the man's stomach and slicing deep into his belly. Swiftly, Jax twisted the knife out of the man's hand sending it clattering to the floor. The man collapsed on his side, his penis still oddly erect as it lay on the floor. Jax raised his booted foot, preparing to stomp the man's penis flat.

"No . . ." the man screamed.

"You filthy son of a bitch. You drug and rape women. They didn't get to say no and now you don't either."

Jax's foot came down hard stomping the man's penis against the floor. The man screamed one loud pain wracked scream before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he lost consciousness. Jax turned his attention back to the younger man who was scrambling to his feet.

"Look, I'm not even a member of the MC. I'm just a prospect."

Jax nodded his head, pretending to consider being merciful.

"Peer pressure?" Jax suggested.

"Yeah. That's it."

"You touched my old lady. You were going to rape her. What would you do if a man were going to rape your mother or sister?"

"I don't like them much," the young man answered with more candor than brains. "I might just watch."

Jax picked up the knife.

"You're an idiot. It's no wonder you ended up in a loser MC. I'll tell you what, I'll make you a deal. Cut your nipples off and maybe I'll let you live. Cut your dick off and I'll definitely let you live."

"Really?"

"No, asshole," Jax shook his head at the man's stupidity. "You just saw me commit capital murder. You know who I am. Do you really think you're getting out of here alive? _And_ you touched my old lady."

"She won't remember," he whined. "That's why we drug them. They never know what happened to them. It doesn't hurt them any."

"You are just too fucking stupid to live."

The young man swung on Jax landing a punch to Jax's rock hard abs. Jax didn't even feel it. He punched the man and then stabbed him the same way he'd stabbed Salazar after he kidnapped Tara. He shoved the knife in deep and watched the life drain out of the young man just as he had with Salazar. He used a corner of the man's shirt to wipe his fingerprints from the knife handle. He shot him with the alien gun just to make sure the man died.

He turned his attention back to the heavy set man who now was lying in a pool of blood, his penis was deflated like a balloon without air and some of his intestines were spilling out from the large knife wound. He shot the man with the alien gun. The knife wound would probably be fatal, but again Jax wasn't taking chances.

As he turned to look at Tara, he saw the image of the woman on the laptop. He realized where he'd seen her last—she was the cocktail waitress who had waited on him at the bar. They had drugged her and raped her. She wasn't some stranger. They knew her. This piece of news only confirmed the wisdom of his decision to kill all the men in the room.

Tara was still motionless on the table, her eyes shut. Her skin was always pale, but she looked almost colorless. Her breathing also seemed off. Before Jax could scoop her up into his arms, he heard the sound of motorcycles outside.

Two more men wearing Kitty Cabal cuts stumbled into the room laughing and joking about what they were going to do to the woman they were going to rape.

"What the hell?" the man who walked into the room first said looking at the dead bodies and all the blood.

"Did you do this?" the second man asked Jax.

"All by myself."

The men rushed Jax. Block a punch here, swing an elbow into a face there, a couple of hard kicks and a few more punches and it was over. The men were on the floor unconscious. The hard physical contact finally cooled his rage and he felt satisfied. He finished the men with the alien gun.

After all the robot fighting, he barely felt the two punches the men landed. Between the alien physical upgrade, the robot fight training and the adrenaline surging through his blood stream, he felt like a superhero.

He went to the table and called Tara's name. No response. He lightly slapped her face. Still no response.

"Cas, call Ryland."

"I'm still on the line from before."

"This is Hale. I'm listening too."

"Tara got drugged at a bar we were at. I took my eyes off her for less than a minute and they took her. I didn't know she had a tracker."

"I'm sorry Jax. It never even occurred to me to mention it because she's the Queen's daughter; she's had a tracker since birth. I assume Cas told you about the tracker."

"Yeah, she did. If she hadn't, I wouldn't have found Tara. I think something's wrong with her."

"OK. What did you do with the attackers?"

"They're all dead."

"Good," Ryland and Hale said in unison.

Jax was surprised by both men's reactions. He always assumed that Ryland as a doctor would be opposed to taking a human life. As for Hale, he usually took a dim view of do-it-yourself law enforcement.

"Your clothes have blood?" Ryland asked.

"The lighting isn't the best, but there's some blood."

"In the car there's some spray. It will erase blood. Spray it from the top of your head to the soles of your shoes as soon as you get back to the car. Just tell Cas you need to know where the blood erase spray is. When you get Tara back to the SUV, put her phone against her skin and ask Cas to monitor Tara's vital signs. Is she conscious?"

"No. I can't get her to wake up, but that's the way the drug works."

"They may have given her too much. Sometimes hybrids have unusual reactions. You've got everything you need in a medical backpack in the SUV to fix her. I'll walk you through it."

For the first time, Jax felt his stress level lessen. He had gotten to Tara before she was raped. He had killed all the men. There was just one more thing. One of the men had a video camera. He didn't think they had begun filming when he killed them, but he wanted to check the video.

"I need to check to see if they have video of Tara. They were going to record . . . it."

Jax picked up the video camera and found confirmation that they hadn't begun recording Tara. He hadn't seen any of the men using their phones, so he was sure that there wasn't any video of Tara. He rubbed his prints from the camera with a corner of his shirt.

"No, there's no video," Jax said.

"When Cas got your instructions she contacted me and I called Hale. I scrambled a team from Charming . . ."

"Didn't think I could handle killing an entire MC?" Jax interrupted.

"That wasn't it. The team I sent specializes in crime scene adjustments. They will go over the scene and remove any DNA and fingerprints that you or Tara may have left. One member of the team is a medic. He'll be able to help you with Tara if necessary. They're fourteen minutes out."

"OK. I'm going to take Tara back to our hotel. I don't want her to wake up here."

"Jax, I'll be helping Ryland and the team with crime scene adjustments. Is there anything we need to know?"

"I don't think any of the men used their phones to record Tara, but I'd like them to check."

"Not a problem," Ryland said. "It's standard procedure for them to check. If there is any video of Tara, they will permanently delete it."

"OK. I'm leaving now."

Jax picked up Tara. She was so light in his arms; it reminded him of carrying Abel to bed.

Jax put Tara in the passenger's seat and belted her in place. He found the blood erase spray in the hidden compartment in the SUV that also had more weapons. The aliens really knew how to pack an SUV. The spray worked like magic leaving Jax completely blood free. He sprayed Tara where some blood had transferred to her from his jacket.

He put Tara's phone against her skin and Cas confirmed that she was monitoring Tara's heartrate and breathing.

According to the vehicle's GPS, the hotel was nine minutes away. Jax followed the GPS directions automatically. His attention was on Tara. Her skin looked almost waxy. That couldn't be good.

Suddenly there was a loud buzzing sound.

"Tara's heart and lungs have ceased function," Cas said in Tara's voice. "Immediate medical intervention required. Death is imminent."

 ** _Anything can happen in this story._**

 **If you aren't reading Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas, give it a read. It's Jax and Tara being romantic and fun with each other and Opie and Donna get married. Orginially it was planned to be three chapters, but the story began to grow and it's a new twist to Jax and Tara. Also, it's the only place for an Opie/Donna romance in the stories that I right. It's going to be s long as it needs to be for me to get the story right, but no matter what, there will be a happy ending.**


	31. Chapter 31

15

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 30 Recap**

Jax kills all the Kitty Cabal members that were going to gang rape Tara. Cas called Ryland after Jax's message. Ryland and Hale were listening to what was going on via Cas.

Ryland tells Jax he has sent a team in to fix the crime scene to erase any sign that he or Tara were at that location.

Jax tells Ryland that he's worried about Tara's medical condition. He tells Jax to put Tara's phone against her skin and Cas will monitor Tara.

As they drive to the hotel, Tara's condition worsens and Cas warns that Tara's heart and lungs have quit functioning.

 **Chapter 31 From Hero to Nero**

While in prison on federal weapons charges, Jax took a first aid course. He even got a card when he passed the class. It beat sitting in his cell. He remembered enough to know how to do CPR on Tara.

"I'm going to pull over and call for an ambulance and then I'll do CPR," Jax said.

"Cas event clock now," Ryland instructed. "Jax, hybrids can easily go fifteen minutes without a heart beating or lungs breathing. The medical backpack has a life support vest in it and that will restore Tara's functions. How far are you from the hotel?"

"Cas estimated time to hotel?" Jax asked.

"Under four minutes," Cas replied.

"Are you sure we can get her heart restarted without a hospital?"

"Positive. You can save her better and quicker than if you took her to a hospital."

"Tara is my first priority," Jax said. "I want what is best for her. Maybe I should do the vest thing now."

"You have plenty of time."

"I know sometimes CPR doesn't work. Are you sure this will work?"

"Yes. We'll get Tara back. She is suffering from a drug overdose. The vest will restore her heart and lung functions and continue to provide life support as needed until we reverse the drugs."

"Do we have to reverse the drugs in that fifteen window?"

"No. You just need to get the vest on her during that window. I'm redirecting the team to the hotel to drop off the medic. The team's about eleven minutes away from your hotel. By the time the medic gets to you, you will have her on life support and we'll have the preliminary assessment of her medical condition done. He also has the drugs to reverse all the common date rape drugs. I gave them to him before the team left."

"OK."

Jax wasn't used to trusting people he didn't know. He had had to trust Ryland when Tara got sick and he had helped him with Tara then. He believed that Ryland had the medical expertise to make the best decision for Tara's treatment; he just didn't like having to depend on him.

Tara was human dead. It may not be Paralorn dead, but it was too close to permanent death for Jax. Losing Tara had sent him into a dangerous downward spiral of bad decisions, violence and murder. There had been so many mistakes. He needed to keep his emotions under control. Tara and his boys were depending on him.

He needed to think about something other than Tara being dead beside him in the SUV. He thought about how it was going to look when he brought Tara into the hotel. Hotels had cameras at the doors, so it was pointless to think he could sneak her in a back door. The best approach was to keep close to the truth.

"Cas, I know you speak with Tara's voice. Can you imitate her and sound drunk?"

"I can review sounds of drunk people speaking and adapt that to Tara's voice. It may not be a perfect imitation, but it should be believable."

"OK. If there's anyone in the hotel lobby, I'm going to say to Tara that I can't believe how much you meaning Tara drank. You are to reply in Tara's voice sounding drunk that you are never drinking that much again. Let me hear you say that."

Cas repeated the words in a slurred imitation of Tara's voice.

"Well done, Cas."

Jax put the phone in his jacket pocket. He pulled into the hotel parking lot and followed Cas' instructions to find the medical backpack concealed in the SUV. He put it on and then went to Tara, unfastened her seatbelt and lifted her out of the SUV. He shut the SUV's passenger door.

Tara's skin was only a little cool to the touch, not like when he found on her on the kitchen floor. He'd scooped her up into his arms, hoping there was still life left in her. She had been ice cold. He had still felt for a pulse in one last desperate hope that she was still alive.

He put his arm around her and walked her into the hotel. Her feet brushed the ground. He wanted it to look like she was walking and that was the best he could do. Her head had fallen forward with her hair in her face concealing her shut eyes.

There was a clerk at the desk when they walked in. Jax waited until they were within earshot before making his comment about not believing how much she'd had to drink. Cas replied in her Tara drunk voice. Jax wanted it to look like they weren't hiding anything. It was just another drunk girl being helped to her room by her boyfriend.

As soon as Jax got Tara to the room, he put her on the bed and laid his phone on the nightstand.

"OK. I'm in the room," Jax said to Ryland.

"Put her flat on the bed. There are two pockets on the outside of the backpack. The smaller pocket has the life support vest. Take it out and put it on her with the zipper at the front. Zip it up. It will do the rest."

Jax slipped off the backpack and followed Ryland's instructions. He found the blue vest inside a large plastic bag labeled "life support vest" and put it on Tara. It only weighed a few pounds and was less than an inch thick. He zipped it up and waited.

"It's on Tara," Jax said.

"Inside that same pocket is a tablet. If you put it on the nightstand and prop it up, we'll be able to see each other and I will be able to see Tara."

Jax grabbed the screen and propped it up on the nightstand. He saw Ryland sitting at a desk surrounded by a bank of screens. He was wearing a black long sleeved T-shirt and he looked, as usual, like he needed some sleep.

The vest puffed up and a red light appeared. The vest deflated and squeezed Tara tightly. Suddenly the red light turned green and the vest loosened its grip on Tara.

"Tara's life signs have returned and are within normal levels," Cas said.

"Cas, terminate event clock. What was the elapsed time?" Ryland ordered.

"Seven minutes thirty-two seconds," Cas replied.

"She's alive again?" Jax asked. "It was that easy?"

"I told you that you could do it. Leave the life vest on her until we fix the drug overdose. It monitors her automatically and will restart her heart and lungs if they fail again. The vest unfortunately doesn't work on humans."

Tara' ashen skin quickly regained its color when blood began to flow through her body. Her eyes were still closed, but life had returned to her body.

Jax took a deep breath and let it out. The tension he'd felt since he found Tara on a filthy table in a dilapidated building about to be raped finally lessened.

"OK. Glad that's over."

Ryland laughed.

"I know it was overwhelming, but the worst is over. Just take out everything in the large backpack compartment and put it on the bed."

Jax pulled out various items in clear plastic bags from the backpack and laid them on the bed.

"Get the bag labeled monitors. There are two types of monitors. Open the bag labeled blood monitors, take one out of the bag and put it on the back of Tara's hand over one of the veins like you did with the Tara packs."

Jax followed Ryland's directions.

"Information is being sent to Cas. The monitor that shows me will also show Tara's blood numbers. It won't make sense to you, but it will to the medic," Ryland said. "Her hormone levels are really crazy. She can call in a prescription. I wonder why she hasn't," Ryland said with a frown. "She definitely got a big drug overdose."

"How much time do you have to reverse it?"

"We have plenty of time and the medic will be there soon."

"Is there anything else I can do?"

"The medic will be there in a few minutes."

"OK," Jax said. "Tara told me that you told her that you thought she and I should get back together."

The timing of this conversation may not have been the best, but Tara was stable and the medic would be there soon. Jax rarely got the chance to talk to Ryland without Tara being around and he was trying to figure out Ryland.

"That's true."

"You told me you thought you were a better man."

"That hasn't changed. I still believe that. Has Tara ever told you about the Paralorn wedding or divorce ceremonies?"

"She told me divorce is rare."

"During the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom cut their palms and press their palms together blending their blood. For the divorce ceremony, the man cuts the woman and she cuts him. The blood is then allowed to drip into a tissue or cloth and is thrown away like their marriage.

"There was a couple who for various reasons felt they had grown apart and decided to divorce. When it came time for him to cut her, he couldn't do it. He gave her the knife and she couldn't cut him. They decided they weren't ready to throw away each other and what they had together.

"That was my wife and me. We had almost thirty years together after that all happy. I know how sometimes relationships hit tough stretches. I've come to see that I might be a better man, but you may make Tara happier. I love Tara and I want her to have the most happiness she can get. That may mean she should be with you and not me."

For the first time since he'd met Ryland, some of his cool reserve was gone. There was a faint undercurrent of heartache in his voice.

"One more thing before the medic arrives," Ryland said, clearing his throat and the emotion from his voice. "Did Tara ever talk to you about a medical condition involving sleep?"

"No."

"Because you're in a hotel, I'm going to tell you something I normally wouldn't; Tara has night terrors. It's pretty common with hybrids especially ones that died violently. She might wake up screaming. I've been treating her for this and she's better, but with everything that has happened to her today, she might wake up screaming.

"When she's close to regaining consciousness, I'll tell you. Just call her name softly and tell her she's safe. If she starts screaming, just reassure her. Make sure she's fully awake and not dreaming. Same thing if she is sleep walking. Wake her up by calling her name softly. If she screams and someone calls the cops, just tell them the truth that Tara suffers from night terrors."

"OK."

"The medic is about a minute away. He just entered the hotel. It's someone you know. A happy surprise for you."

Jax wondered if Ryland was being truthful about the happy surprise or maybe he was being sarcastic. He could never tell with Ryland.

There was a knock on the door and Jax opened the door and let the medic in. Ryland hadn't been sarcastic. This was a welcome surprise.

The two men hugged because they both used to be brothers in SAMCRO.

"When Ryland said that he was sending someone I knew, he didn't tell me who."

"I just got back a few days ago. I've been working for an anti-land mine charity."

Kozik looked exactly like Jax remembered him only not blown up or bruised and bloody from fighting. Kozik took off his jacket and unzipped an inner pocket removing two plastic bags, one blue and one red each about the size of a deck of playing cards.

"Ryland told me what happened to Tara. He gave me the drugs we need to reverse the drugs she was given. You have the same stuff in your backpack kit. You would just have to mix them together. It's a lot of measuring. I'm going to use the premixed stuff and monitor her."

Ryland told Kozik the amount he wanted him to use on Tara. Jax watched as Kozik took a syringe from one of the plastic bags that had been in the backpack and used it to draw out a small amount of blue liquid from one of the pouches. He injected it into a port that was on the monitoring device attached to the vein in the back of Tara's hand.

"I want to bring her out slowly to minimize emotional trauma," Ryland said. "Let's give her five minutes and see how her blood looks."

Jax sat next to Tara on the bed on the opposite side that Kozik was using to work on her. Jax wrapped his fingers around her wrist. He was relieved that her skin was warmer, but she was still motionless and unresponsive.

"What happened to you?" Jax asked Kozik.

"After I got blown up, they scooped me up and brought me to an underground hospital in Charming. They keep a team on stand by and when they learned I was dead, they sent it immediately to get me back and they saved me. The medic that they sent is one of the reasons I'm alive.

"I was in and out of consciousness for a couple of months. Ryland did a bunch of surgeries on me. He saved my life, my leg and my arm. He's an amazing man."

"You're really a medic."

Kozik nodded.

"I had so much stuff done to me; I took an interest. I have a new longer life. I wanted to do something good, so I went through a lot of medical training and I started to work with an anti-landmine charity. We clear mine fields and provide prosthetics for people that have lost limbs."

"How did you end up on the team sent here?"

"I work for the Paralorn government. I'm in the emergency response section. It's run a little like the military. There is always a team on alert ready to be dispatched to scoop up a hybrid that is human dead or to intervene in situations. I just happened to be on alert when Ryland called for a team."

"It sounds like things are going great for you."

Kozik smiled.

"Yeah. I even met a hybrid girl. She was my nurse. She was at my side every time I woke up from a surgery. We even worked together at the landmine charity. I'm going to ask her to marry me. I am so grateful that I got another chance at life and to do something meaningful with my life."

That seemed to be the same thing every hybrid said after returning to life. They were happy to have a new life and were making all kinds of positive changes. It was beginning to feel a little like a cult to Jax.

"Kozik, you have to ask me for permission to marry Jenna," Ryland said.

It startled Jax and Kozik who had been so focused on their conversation they forgot that Ryland was listening.

"I didn't know that," Kozik stammered.

"Now you do," Ryland said sternly. "I hope you aren't planning on moving away. That could be a problem for you."

"No, sir," Kozik said.

Jax looked at Kozik with amusement. He'd never seen him so flustered.

"How's Tara doing?" Ryland asked.

"Her levels are improving."

"What do you think her next course of treatment should be?"

"Repeat the previous treatment."

"Same medication and same amount?"

"Yes. I would then assess her after five minutes. She should be starting to show signs of regaining consciousness."

"If she doesn't?"

"I would need to see what the levels are and assess from that."

"Very good," Ryland said with a ghost of a smile.

Kozik relaxed. He was like the smart kid that gave a strict and respected teacher the correct answer.

Kozik repeated his earlier treatment of Tara, carefully measuring out the liquid and injecting it into the port.

"What's been the hardest thing for you since you came back to life?" Jax asked.

"Living in Charming and watching all the shit with the MC."

"I get that. Living it was pretty bad too. Worse was the fact I'd made a lot of terrible decisions."

"Jax, you got dealt a really fucked up hand. Tig and I have had our problems. In the end, we had become buddies again, but he's the one I hold responsible for a lot of the shit that happened including the murder of his daughter. He should have been kicked out for trying to kill Laroy without any kind of evidence he was behind the attempt on Clay's life and killing Damon Pope's daughter.

"Using a car to try to kill someone sitting at a sidewalk café is just so fucking stupid. I get that you couldn't have kicked him out of SAMCRO because Clay would have voted against it and it takes a unanimous vote. Now Chibs is trying to lead SAMCRO with Tig's help. It's going to be a cluster fucking disaster."

"Has anything happened?"

"Not that I know of, but I've only been back a few days and I'm not plugged into the MC world. I'm just forecasting the future. I hope Chibs has learned that getting bloody isn't the answer to every problem."

"Yeah," Jax said drily, "I could have used the same advice."

"I have some good MC memories, but I see things more clearly now and I would never join an outlaw MC again. It destroys."

"Amen, brother," Jax said and they both laughed.

Jax saw a faint twitch in Tara's fingers.

"I think Tara's coming around," Jax said.

"She is improving," Ryland said. "Kozik, what should you do next?"

"I would give her a 1/4 of the previous dose since you want to bring her back slowly."

"Perfect answer. I just might let you marry Jenna. Go ahead and give Tara a quarter of a dose."

"Why does Kozik need your permission to marry Jenna? Is it an alien thing?"

"No, it's a me thing," Ryland said. "He has to be worthy of my best nurse."

Jax's cell phone rang. He answered and was surprised that Nero was on the line.

"You're the guy working for Jax Teller?" Nero asked, quickly getting to the point.

"Yes. I want to meet, ask you a few questions and help you."

"I'll call you back with a place," Nero said and terminated the call.

Jax looked at Ryland on the monitor and told him about Nero's call. It was great that Nero wanted to meet. Maybe they would finally be able to get a lead on who took the boys.

"I heard about your boys getting kidnapped," Kozik said. "I want to help you get them back if Ryland is OK with it."

"I'm OK with it," Ryland said.

"Thanks," Jax said to both men.

"What can I do when I return to Charming?" Kozik asked.

"Keep an eye on Juice for now. There's just something about him that I don't trust."

Kozik nodded.

"You got it."

"Kozik give Tara a quarter of a dose of the other medication that you have with you. Why am I telling you to do this?"

"Her blood levels aren't normalizing quickly enough. The second medication has possible side effect issues, which is why it isn't the first drug of choice. I should monitor her continuously now."

"Very good. I just might give you permission to marry Jenna."

Kozik grinned.

"Thank you."

"I haven't given you permission," Ryland said with a smile. "I just said I _might_."

"I won't get the ring yet," Kozik said.

"Good idea," Ryland said.

Jax watched as Kozik injected more medication into the port on Tara's hand.

"Is it normal to have to give this much medication?" he asked.

"Tara had a massive overdose. If she'd been human, even with medical care, she might not have made it," Ryland explained. "As a hybrid, she will fully recover because she's receiving Paralorn medical care and she has better recuperative powers. It looks like she was given multiple date rape type drugs at very high levels."

"You think they meant for her to die?" Jax asked.

"I think that they didn't give a damn about what happened her. She wasn't a person to them."

"Her blood levels are normalizing quickly. She should regain consciousness soon," Kozik said.

"OK, Jax, try to wake her up," Ryland said.

"Tara, wake up. You're safe," Jax said tenderly. He repeated this over and over several times until Tara's eyes fluttered open.

She was breathing rapidly.

"Tara, breathe slowly," Ryland told her softly.

She slowed her breathing. She touched the life support vest.

"My heart stopped. How long?"

"About seven and a half minutes," Jax replied.

"You got me back quick," Tara said.

"Thanks to Jax," Ryland said. "He noticed your breathing was off. He put your cell phone against your skin to monitor your heart and lungs, so we knew the second they stopped. If he hadn't been so observant . . ."

Tara slipped her hand in Jax's and whispered thank you to him.

Jax's phone rang again.

"Look, I'm not gonna lie. I don't think I have any information that will help you find the boys," Nero said, "but I will tell you everything that I know."

"OK. That's all I want."

"There's a bus stop with a bench in Norco. I'll text you the address."

"OK. Thanks."

After ending the call, Jax told Tara about Nero's earlier call.

"I'm going," Tara tried to get up, but shut her eyes quickly as the room began to spin wildly around in circles. She put her head back on the bed.

"You can't get up quickly or you'll pass out," Kozik told her. "It's a side effect from one of the drugs we had to give you."

"Tara, you aren't going," Jax said. "You can listen in on the conversation with Cas. I'll use an ear piece and you can talk to me and tell me questions to ask."

"You still need a little medical care to get you completely well," Ryland added.

"She's out of danger, right?" Jax asked.

"Yes," Ryland said. "She still needs to stay in bed while we fine tune her blood. Her blood glucose levels are off."

"OK. I'm outnumbered and I feel like hell," Tara said. "I give up."

Kozik grabbed pillows and helped Tara prop herself up on the pillows.

"Thanks," Tara said to Kozik.

For a moment, Jax was tempted to ask if they could just leave Tara's hormone level alone when they were fine tuning her blood. He was hoping for some life affirming or meaningless sex with Tara when he got back from meeting with Nero. He hated to lose sex crazy Tara especially before they could have sex a few more times.

"The team has just finished cleaning up. I'll have them at the meeting place to provide support if you need it, Jax," Ryland said.

"I'll be fine," Jax said.

"They need to head your way to pick up Kozik anyway. ."

"OK," Jax said also giving up. It wouldn't hurt to have some guys standing by and Tara would worry less about him knowing he had help if he needed it

As it turned out, he didn't need any help meeting with Nero. It was what came afterwards that would completely change the hunt for the boys.

 _ **Next Up for Jax Is Really Alive: Flash! Bang!**_

 **Next Up for Me:** A new chapter for Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas. If you haven't read it, you really should. It's light and it's romantic. It's the Jax and Tara relationship at its best. And if you have sex in the trunk of a car, you should expect to get locked in. Fun Fact: Newer cars have trunk releases inside the trunk.


	32. Chapter 32

8

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 31 Recap**

Jax gets Tara to their hotel room. He follows Ryland's instructions and gets Tara's heart beating and lungs breathing. 

Ryland diverts the medic from the response team he sent to clean up the Kitty Cabal clubhouse crime scene to Jax and Tara's hotel room. The medic is Kozik returned from the dead with all his limbs intact thanks to Ryland's surgical skill. Kozik administers to Tara doses of the medications Ryland gave him before the team flew to Charming.

Nero calls Jax wanting to meet. Tara insists on going, but when she tries to stand, she almost passes out. She is forced to remain in the hotel room to receive additional medical treatment from Kozik.

Ryland arranges for the team to meet up with Jax and provide back-up for his meeting with Nero.

 **Chapter 32 Flash! Bang!**

Tara looked at the screen set up on the night stand that provided video of Ryland and her medical information.

"I was really dosed," Tara said.

"I don't think a human would have survived that," Kozik said.

"Tara, I'll explain everything that happened after I meet with Nero," Jax said.

"Was I raped? Tell me the truth."

"No. One guy touched your breasts over your clothes, but that's as far as it went."

Tara studied his face looking for deception.

"OK."

Ryland decided that Jax should pick up the team rather than rendezvous with them at the arranged meeting place with Nero. Cas provided directions.

The three men Jax picked up looked like typical ordinary men. All wore jeans with long sleeved blue shirts and each carried a back pack.

They only had a few minutes with Jax before the meeting. They told him they had restaged the scene so it would look like some kind of club beef that got out of control.

When Jax used the Paralorn gun, it left the men dead, but more importantly it left the bodies like a blank canvas. A coroner would not be able to determine the cause of death. To tie up the loose ends, the men provided a cause of death. Gun shot wounds. They left the guns and erased any DNA belonging to anyone with alien DNA, so it would be impossible to tie Jax, Tara or themselves to the scene.

They didn't go into the mechanics of how they reset the crime scene, but Jax was left with the impression these guys were highly competent. He was also left with the impression this wasn't the first time they had restaged a crime scene.

Two of the men got out and would find places to hide and surveille the meeting. Jax thought it was unnecessary, but he didn't complain. They were doing their jobs and they had cleaned up his crime scene. The remaining guy would move over to the driver's seat in case they needed to get away quickly.

Jax waited in the SUV until he heard from the two men that they had found cover and it was safe to proceed to the meeting. There were no people around and all the businesses were closed.

Nero's time on the run, while short, had taken its toll on him. He was dirty, unshaven and had dark circles under his eyes.

Jax walked up and took a seat on the bus bench next to Nero.

"My name is Jax Turner. You can call me Jax," Jax said.

Nero studied Jax.

"You look so much like Jax Teller, you could be his twin."

"I get that a lot especially from law enforcement."

Nero studied Jax's face suspiciously.

"You know a lot about Jax. How do you know him?"

"I can't answer that. I provided information that only you and Teller would know, so you would know this isn't some kind of trap. It turns out Teller has some very powerful and wealthy friends. I helped him disappear. I'll do the same for you. I just need to find out what you know about the boys' kidnapping.

"I've got a new identity with a driver's license, social security card and money mostly in the form of prepaid VISA cards. There's also a cabin complete with utilities including cable waiting for you in Arizona. It's up to you whether you go there or not. You need to get the hell out of California before you get caught."

"I know," Nero said with a nod. "That's why I'm meeting with you now. I want to help Jax in any way I can to find his kids. I just don't think I have that kind of information."

"You get the prize package whether or not the information helps. Just talk to me. He told me that you had this dream of bringing your son to a farm because he loves animals and you bought your uncle's farm. Begin there. Give me the long version. I know Teller thought a lot of you and he'll want to know."

Nero ran a hand over his stubble.

"I am the typical absentee father. My boy likes to hold little animals on his lap, so I thought that meant he loved animals. All animals. I thought surrounding him with a farm full of animals would make him happy. He hated the farm. I did too."

"What went wrong?"

"It's an endless day of feeding and cleaning up shit. He didn't mind throwing feed out to the animals the first couple of times, but he got tired of it. He isn't physically strong, so it was hard for him. He's also in a wheelchair and the animals were afraid to come near him. He would have been happy with a hamster or rabbit.

"If I'd been a better father I would have talked to him about animals and a farm. Maybe I would have realized that he was happy with his life. He's always lived at state facilities. I thought he would love to be with me all the time.

"He loved being with me, but he missed his friends and the only life he's ever really known. Getting tipped off that the cops wanted to talk to me about a couple of murders, made it easier for me to return him to the state facility. The sad truth was he was happy to be back with his friends."

"I'm sorry that didn't work out for you. I know that had been a dream of yours for a long time."

"Yeah, if I'd only talked to my kid, I would have come up with a better dream."

Jax hated that Nero's dream turned into a nightmare. He had hoped that Nero would get a happy ending. With his help, he could at least give Nero a new start in life.

"What happened with Jax's boys when they got to the farm?"

"Abel just seemed deeply upset by something. After a couple of hours, he told me he'd seen Gemma again at his school. She gave him a ring that belonged to JT. She told him that he would be president of SAMCRO one day."

"There's no way in hell that will happen to either of the boys."

"Poor Abel. He didn't know whether to fear her or love Gemma. Wendy thought Jax was coming to the farm. She thought she was going to have this happy ending with him."

"Thinking has never been a strength of Wendy's."

"Sounds like you know her well," Nero said with a tired smile. "She brought one diaper for Thomas and a packet of formula and an empty bottle. She didn't pack clothes or anything else. She didn't do much better for Abel. She brought him one change of clothes.

"That whole motherhood thing was just an act to get Jax back. She left that night and took my car. My uncle's old lady had to get me stuff for the boys especially for Thomas because he needed diapers and formula.

"She started using again. She went to biker bars and stayed out all night. I thought when Brooke came for a visit, she could help with the boys and Wendy would finally come around and help with the kids.

"Brooke and her boyfriend split up, so she was crying a lot. Wendy took her out to bars and they both stayed out all night."

"Did Wendy bring guys to the farm?"

"No. Her point was to get away from the kids and all her responsibilities. I was going to call CPS on Wendy after I left and then the boys disappeared. I was especially worried about Thomas. Abel can talk and he can get things out of the refrigerator. Thomas is helpless."

Jax heard Tara crying softly through the earpiece.

"Who knew the boys were at the farm?"

"My uncle, his old lady and they may have mentioned it to a few friends. I don't know who Wendy told."

"You have any idea who might have taken them? Anyone come by the farm or something?"

Nero shook his head.

"No. We were only at the farm for a few hours before everything went to hell. I have been thinking back on everything trying to come up with something to help get the boys back—some kind of clue. I have no idea. I wish I knew something that would help."

"Do you have anyway to get in touch with Wendy?"

Nero told Jax her cell number. It was the same number that Jax had for her.

Jax reached into the pocket of his black leather jacket and pulled out the large manila envelope.

"Here's everything I promised you. There's a phone number in the packet of stuff. Memorize and destroy it. If you need something or you remember something, you can call that number. There are some suggestions on how to do things to stay hidden. There's also a new tattoo removal cream. Follow the directions that were written out for you. At a minimum, you need to lose the neck tattoo. It's a dead giveaway."

"Thank you," Nero said taking the envelope from Jax. "I miss my boy. I can't even go see him or talk to him."

"We may be able to help with that. We can use prepaid phones so you and your boy can talk. Maybe when your son is a little older and the hunt for you gets cold, we'll come up with something so you can see your boy."

"I have this feeling that you're Jax Teller. I don't know how that's possible."

"It isn't possible. Good luck, Nero."

"Thanks for this," Nero said putting the envelope inside his jacket pocket.

"You're welcome. You have any message for Teller?"

"I hope he finds his boys and I hope he finds peace of mind."

Jax nodded.

"I'll relay your message."

Nero began walking down the street. Jax was about ten feet behind him when a white paneled van pulled up, the doors on the side slid open and three guys wearing head to toe black including full face masks jumped out of the van. One of the men threw a grenade. There was a loud bang, a brilliant flash of light and then smoke.

Jax fell to the ground. A split second later, he was grabbed roughly by the shoulders and dragged backwards. The smoked cleared in time for him to see a limp Nero being shoved into the van before it took off at a high rate of speed.

 **Author's Note: This van scene will lead to the unraveling of the boys' kidnapping within three or four chapters. I know this van scene doesn't appear to make sense. Why didn't the people grabbing Nero wait until he was alone? Why did they do it in such an obvious manner?**

 **Next Up: Heart to Heart**

 **Next Up for Me:** Another chapter of Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas. Every time I type Christmas it makes me a little crazy that the story still isn't finished. Just a few more chapters . . .

Tara's explanation as to how they ended up in the trunk is going to be fun and will not reflect well on Jax.


	33. Chapter 33

3

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 32 Recap**

Jax meets the three team members Ryland sent with Kozick. When they get close to the rendezvous point with Nero, two of them leave the SUV and find tactical spots. The other guy takes the driver's seat in case they need to make a fast exit.

Nero comes to the rendezvous tired and dirty from being on the run. He tells Jax the sad tale of the farm. His son didn't like the farm. The animals were afraid of the wheelchair and even throwing feed to the animals proved physically difficult. Nero realizes that if he had been a better father, he would have talked to his son about the farm. He believes he should have realized his son's love for animals meant that he liked to hold them on his lap. His son missed his friends and the only life he had ever known. His son was happy when Nero returned him to the state facility.

Nero tells Jax that Wendy didn't want to be a mother to Abel. She was using him to get back with Jax. She didn't bring the clothing and the other necessities for the boys. When she found out Jax wasn't coming to the farm, she took Nero's car and left and didn't return that night. When Brooke came, she was upset over the break-up with Rat. Wendy took her out to biker bars. When Nero left the farm, he was going to call CPS to come in and take the boys because he knew Wendy was neglecting them. He didn't have to do that because the kids were kidnapped.

Jax gave Nero the packet containing a new ID and money. As he was walking away, a van drives up, flash bang grenades are thrown and guys dressed in black including black masks grab Nero and stuff him in the van.

The grenade detonations knock Jax to the ground. Two of the team run to Jax, grab him and drag him backwards.

 **Chapter 33 Blackness**

Jax's was trying to figure out what had happened. The flash bang grenade had done it's work. He felt disoriented.

It didn't make any sense. Why did someone need to grab Nero with such a show of force? The people after Nero could have waited until they were gone and taken Nero easily without all the dramatics.

Before Jax got any more thinking done, the guys who dragged him away stuffed him into the backseat of the SUV and driver took off.

"You're going the wrong way. We have to get Nero back," Jax said.

"You're not going after Nero," Ryland said through Jax's ear piece.

"We need to help him. We don't know what they are going to do to him," Jax said urgently.

"He's not the objective."

"Get out of the SUV," Jax told the three men. "I'll get him myself."

"Their job is to protect you."

Jax tried to climb into the front passenger's seat of the SUV. He was determined to go after Nero. They needed to move now or they would never be able to catch up to them. He remembered how hard it had been to follow the car when Tara had been taken. Seconds counted.

The next thing Jax knew one of the guys grabbed him from behind in a chokehold and everything went black.

 **Next Up:** This chapter wasn't very long. The recap from the previous chapter is probably the same length. I am going to post several short chapters this week. I've been away from this story for awhile and this is a good way to get back into this story. I'm experimenting with shorter chapters. The next chapter will be longer than this one and the recap shorter.


	34. Chapter 34

4

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 33 Recap** Jax is stuffed into the SUV by two members of the team. The SUV speeds away, but Jax insists they go after the guys that took Nero.

Ryland overrules Jax and tells him that Nero isn't the mission's objective. Jax is angry and tries to climb into the front seat. One of the members of the team puts Jax in a choke hold and Jax loses consciousness.

 **Chapter 34 Fire and Fury**

Jax woke up angry that he'd been knocked out and now finding Nero wasn't possible. That fucker Ryland. If he were here, he'd beat the shit out of him.

"Thanks a lot, you son of a bitch," Jax said to the team member who had choked him to unconsciousness.

"Hey, man, it wasn't personal. I was following orders."

If there had been room enough to take a swing, Jax would have swung on him. Orders or not, Nero was now in a speeding van and facing God only knows what kind of fate. One thing he knew, it wasn't going to be a happy one.

Poor Nero. His life had really taken a bad turn. If Nero had never crossed paths with Gemma and him, his life would have been a lot better. His dream of owning a farm probably would have stayed that way. Now he had to face the fact that his dream had turned into a nightmare and his son preferred living in a state facility with his friends to living with him.

He didn't know why Nero had been grabbed, but he felt he was somehow responsible. That was why he felt so committed to rescuing him from his kidnappers.

They arrived at the hotel. Ryland had instructions. Jax was to go into the hotel. A few minutes later the guys from the team would enter in the hotel in staggered times. The original plan had been for them to fly back to Charming once the objective was achieved. The revised plan was the guys were to stay put at least until the morning.

Jax was glad to see that Tara looked like she had fully recovered.

"You heard what happened with Nero?" Jax demanded.

"I heard," Tara said.

"So did I," Kozik said.

Something was wrong. It didn't sound like they shared his anger that Ryland and his team had stopped him from going after Nero.

"Can you believe that bastard Ryland kept me from helping Nero?"

"I think you've got this one," Kozik said to Tara. "I'm going to my room and grab some sleep. See you in the morning."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jax demanded looking at Kozik.

"Sorry, I'm on Ryland's side on this."

Jax shook his head as Kozik left him. He couldn't believe that a brother would betray him like that. So much for having an ally in Kozik.

Kozik was just looking out for himself so he could get Ryland's permission to marry his nurse. Good to know that he couldn't trust Kozik to have his back.

"I'm going to call it a night. I've got some more urgent things to do," Ryland said over the speaker in the note pad that was still propped up on the nightstand.

Jax turned his earphone off and removed it. He didn't care that Ryland heard his outburst. He wasn't happy that Ryland had just shutdown communication, but all he was doing was delaying the confrontation.

"I'm going to take a shower," Tara said. "I need to wash the filth off."

"Mind if I join you?" Jax asked with a smile.

"Yeah, I do. I just need some space," Tara said.

She went to her suitcase and the knee length T-shirt she slept in and underwear and brought it into the bathroom with her. She not only closed the door, she locked it.

Jax didn't hide his disappointment. He was hoping for a lot more meaningless sex with Tara while her hormones were driving her crazy. That bastard Ryland had probably had Tara's hormone levels corrected, so she was no longer sex crazy.

Jax thought that saving Tara from being gang raped and killed might have bought him some good will from her at least for a few minutes. He had no idea what was going through her mind, but she was mad at him.

This day had been as fucked up as any day he'd had towards the last of his time as president of SAMCRO. He had emotional whiplash from all the bad shit that had happened today. The only bright spot, finding Kozik returned from dead had also been a source of contention. Kozik wasn't his brother anymore. He was on Ryland's side.

Tara emerged from the bathroom and sat on the bed with pillows behind her and her back against the wall. Jax walked into the bathroom, stripped off his clothes and took a shower.

He didn't bother with closing the door. He was not modest and Tara liked seeing him naked. Maybe the sight of his fine sculpted body would remind her that she needed his body on and in hers.

He wondered who could have taken Nero and why. The grab had been too well executed with the flash grenades to be from a street gang. It felt paramilitary to him.

What paramilitary crew could want to take Nero? It just didn't make any sense. Could it be a case of mistaken identity?

Jax finished shower, left the bathroom with a towel around his waist, he grabbed out a pair of boxers to sleep in from his suitcase and pulled them on.

Tara was looking at him with daggers in her eyes. What the hell could he have done that had pissed her off so much? He had saved her life.

"What the hell is your problem?" Jax demanded.

" _You_ are the problem," Tara said jumping up from the bed. Her face was flushed with anger.

"What exactly did I do wrong?"

"What is our mission objective?" she demanded.

"What's your point?"

"That we are here for one reason and one reason only. We are here, in case you forgot, to find our boys and get them back. How the hell does saving Nero from being kidnapped accomplish that?"

Well, that was it. The fight was on.

 **Next up for Jax Is Really Alive** I am going to post another chapter tomorrow and another later in the week.


	35. Chapter 35

4

 **Jax Is Really Alive**

 **Chapter 34 Recap ** Jax regains consciousness and is furious that his chance to rescue Nero is gone thanks to Ryland. He returns to the hotel room and finds that Tara and Kozik are angry with him. Kozik announces he is on Ryland's side.

Tara declines Jax's offer to join her in the shower. After showering off the filth from her near attack, she confronts Jax asking him if he knows what their objective is. Jax realizes they are going to have a fight.

 **Chapter 35**

Jax rubbed his hand over his chin and shook his head.

"I know our objective is to get our boys back, but Nero was being kidnapped. Was I supposed to just stand there and let it happen?"

"What would happen if something had happened to you? Do you want our boys to grow up without a father because rescuing Nero was more important than that?"

Jax paced the floor. He hated this because Tara had a point.

"Nero has been a good friend to me. The people that kidnapped him will kill him."

"I am sorry that may happen, but who is more important? Our boys or Nero?"

Jax paced the floor angry because he saw Tara's point, but she wouldn't even try to see his.

"That wasn't the decision I was making. I was making a decision to help a friend. The aliens have all the tech needed to get Nero back. We should have been able to get him back easily."

"It isn't just about getting Nero back. We have to do things secretly. What if there was some big gunfight caught on video. This isn't Charming where the police can be controlled. You could get locked up even with a new identity."

Jax pushed his anger aside to look at things more objectively. Tara had a point that getting Nero back could have exposed him and the team to law enforcement. A few days locked up until he could get bailed out might hurt their chances to get the boys back.

"OK," Jax said holding up his hands. "You have a point." Jax turned and punched the wall between the room and the bathroom. He left a hole in the wall. His new alien strength had increased the damage his fist could do to walls without damaging his hands.

"You think we could move a picture to cover that?"

Jax suddenly began laughing. It was such a ridiculous situation for Tara to be worrying about the wall. Sometimes he needed to laugh at some of the absurdities in his life or the world would just get too dark.

"Are you OK?" Tara asked.

"I get it now. Of course, the boys are the most important objective. I lost sight of that when I saw Nero being taken. I just reacted."

"That's why Ry is where he is doing the job he is doing. He makes decisions keeping the objective in mind."

"If I had been the one taken, would he have let them since I'm not the objective?"

"You wouldn't have been taken. That's why the team went with you and that's why they grabbed you so fast and put you in the SUV. Protecting you was their mission."

As much as Jax would have loved to continue the argument, there wasn't any reason. The actions the team took made sense. As much as he hated the idea that someone had taken Nero, he got that he needed to keep his focus on getting his kids back and not getting distracted from that objective.

"OK. You're right."

"See, that wasn't so hard to say, was it?"

"No, it wasn't."

He didn't want to admit that Ryland was right about the call he made. He hated that he seemed to never make an error. He still didn't like it that Kozik had sided with Ryland. He thought that the MC bond should have still had some weight with him.

"I have something I need to confess about Ryland."

Jax stared at Tara.

"You want to give me more reasons to hate him?"

"I think there will be fewer reasons. I never had sex with him. I lied."

"Why?"

"Because I was so damned angry at you for sleeping with whores including Wendy. I wanted to hurt you."

Jax went to Tara and wrapped her in his arms. Maybe this was the chance they needed to finally heal their relationship.


End file.
